LISTEN UP, LADIES!!! Alrighty, I haven't updated for soooooooo long, and I thought I'd better get this up a.s.a.p. Buuuuuuuuuuuuut, it wasn't finished, so I split it in half and you guys can have the second chapter tomorrow or the next day, k? EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED GETS A NIFTY IMAGINARY POP RADIO BECAUSE IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO UPDATE! HUZZAH!! Onward...
Chatty291: Aloha, dear. I'm glad you love my story, and your help is greatly appreciated. I'll talk to ya soon, k?
Goth Princess: HEY! I have to thank you SO much for your encouragement and all around helpfulness! I seriously would have given up on this story long ago if it weren't for you! Thanx!
XxXthesicknessXxX: Thanx so much, and yep, there is such thing as a pop radio. I've got one and it is SO fun to play with! They came out with them a while ago though... I'm thinking maybe 3 or 4 years ago.
Polochicjilly: I know, I love shout-outs too! Don't they just make you feel loved? Well, there ya go! There's some love! YAY!
Savi: Pop radios are truly awesome and I feel crappy now because you asked for another chapter so nicely and it took me eons to get this up, so, here ya go and sorry for the wait!!!
Jackrox5292: Thanx so much! That's so nice of you! I'll try and update as much as I can, k?
Smiley Cad: SHUDDUP!! LOL, JK. I still need you to give me that Highway Man song! Poor Claude REEEAAALLY wants to learn it so he can serenade me ;)
Wenamedthemonkeyjack: GAWD! I AM SUCH AN AWEFUL PERSON!! You're hooked and I just leave you there! I am seriously sorry and the next update will be in the next 48 hours! Your review made me so happy! Thanx so much! P.S. It's not sad that you get excited. It boosts my self-esteem and makes me want to write more, so... yeah! Thanx!
Dimonah Tralon: YAY! A sequel!! I can't wait!!! The explanation on Mary Ann's personality changes is in this chapter, so I hope that makes it better!
Splashey: No, Jimmy the Baker is DEFINATLY not hotter than Will, Elizabeth just has really bad taste. Plus, I had to free Will up for ya, LOL!
Last chapter: "Listen, Tiffany. I know we've 'ad our differences in the past, bu' we need yer 'assistance with something involving Caddy." Jack said smoothly, ignoring Mary Ann's comment.
Tiffany raised an eyebrow and ushered them inside.
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"Mother, I've been over to the Turner home to visit Mary Ann, and she isn't there. In fact, no one is there." Commodore James Norrington said to Caddy over dinner that night.
"I've heard that the Turner's have had some marital problems and are no longer together. Elizabeth is now living with that baker, Jimmy. It's a shame, really. She had so much going for her and she chose to live the dishonorable life. As for Mary Ann, I-"Caddy was about to say that she didn't know what happened to Mary Ann, but thought of a better idea. She mentally grinned, and displayed a look of farce concern, "am sorry to say, that she's been kidnapped."
"WHAT?! Why have I not been notified of this?" Norrington barked.
"James, dear. I knew that you'd be distraught. I didn't want to worry you." She replied.
"Do we have any suspects?" Norrington questioned.
"Well... there was a bystander who claimed to have seen a rather shady character carry her off."
"A shady character? What did he look like?"
"An odd fellow, wild dark hair with all manner of trinkets and beads in it. He had a red bandana and an old, worn tricorner hat. Lastly, it was reported that he was wearing some sort of black substance under his eyes. Rather strange, don't you think?" She said, slyly observing James' reaction over the rim of her tea cup as she took a sip.
"Sparrow." Was all that the Commodore said before he jumped up and made his way to the docks.
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"All right, Sparrow. You have five minutes to explain yourself before I shove you out the door and on to your ass. Ready... go." Tiffany said after they had seated themselves at her kitchen table. Mary Ann would have laughed, thinking it was a joke, but Tiffany was avidly watching the clock behind Jack.
"Righ'. Well, I suppose you remember Caddy," Tiffany rolled her eyes and nodded, "I've 'ad the pleasure o' meeting 'er again. Ye see, Mary Ann 'ere is a princess, Caddy turned 'er into a frog, I kissed 'er an' bingo, 'ere she is, as 'human as ye or I. She wen' ta our dear friend Norrington's house and foun' out tha' Caddy is, in fact, Norrington's mother. Caddy, the power hungry wench tha' she is, wants ta turn Mary Ann into a frog again so she can be all-powerful, ect. I cleverly convinced 'er ta give us tests an' if we pass 'em, Mary Ann stays human, an' hopefully, I can get rid o' Caddy fer good. Think about it. We could finally get rid o' the bitch. So, wha' say you?" Jack slurred quickly, waving his arms around, and almost beheading Mary Ann in the process.
"A frog? Well, I wouldn't put it past her, but how do I know you're telling me the truth? Why should I help you even if it is true? I mean, out of the three of you, you are the only one I know, Sparrow, and if they are anything like you, I don't want anything to do with them." Tiffany responded, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Listen, luv. I know ye have every righ' ta be angry with me but-"Jack began, but Will interrupted him.
"Please help us." He said in a voice that made even Mary Ann want to bow down at his feet and do whatever he wanted, "I know Jack can be a scoundrel, but we really need your help."
Tiffany's icy exterior seemed to crumble and she said after a moment of hesitation, "All right, but afterwards, I want nothing to do with you, Sparrow."
"Done." He replied with a grin.
"Excuse me, Jack, but do you mind if I had a word with you, outside... alone, please?" Mary Ann asked.
Jack smirked, thinking she wanted to do something naughty and led her outside.
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"Sit down right now and tell me what the hell is going on. Back in Port Royal you and Caddy reacted as if you'd met before and now Tiffany knows her somehow?! How do you know Caddy?" Mary Ann ordered as Jack sat down on a stump.
"I don' know wha' yer talking abou', luv. I've never met Caddy before." He replied.
"AUGH! You make me so angry, Jack! What do you take me for? An idiot?" Mary Ann yelled.
"There goes tha' attitude again, luv."
Mary Ann gripped her hair, turned around and started ranting and raving about how idiotic Jack was, but instead of a cocky comment, she heard him take a sharp breath.
"Mary Ann! Yer wounded! Ye need a doctor, QUICK! 'Ow could this 'ave happened?" Jack yelled as he pointed to the back of her dress (AN 1 and 2).
Mary Ann, not having the slightest clue what he was upset about, turned around to look at the back of her dress and her stomach dropped.
Oh shit. What the hell am I supposed to tell him?! Damn, this is going to be beyond awkward!
"Um, Jack. Calm down. Calm down. It's ok, um... well... shit." She said and ran inside.
'Tiffany, I know that I don't know you very well, but I need your help. Quickly! Could you show me where your room is? Please hurry. Before Jack gets here." Mary Ann begged and a bewildered Tiffany took Mary Ann to a neighboring room.
"What's wrong?" Tiffany asked, a little uncomfortable because she had no idea what was going on and she heard Jack burst into the other room and start pounding on the locked door that they were behind.
"This is incredibly embarrassing, but...um... I leaked." Mary Ann said, blushing like crazy and looking at the ground.
"What?!" Tiffany asked.
"I got my monthly and it leaked through my dress," She turned around to show Tiffany the evidence of a large red mark that was seeping through her dress, "Unfortunately, Jack had to be the one to point it out to me."
Tiffany covered her mouth to stifle her giggles and asked, "Does he know what it is?"
Mary Ann shook her head, "He thinks I'm 'wounded'. God, this is so embarrassing. For the past couple of days, he's been commenting on how I've become more 'fiery' I think is how he put it. Heh, 'irritable' is more like it."
"Don't worry. Here, I think I have some clothes you can change into." Tiffany said. She made her way to a large trunk and began digging through it.
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"Wha' is going on in there? She's hurt, she shouldn't be talking. Why won' they let me in there ta 'elp 'er?!" Jack said as he sat down at the table next to Will.
"How do you know that she was hurt?" Will asked.
"I saw th' blood on the back o' 'er dress! She tol' me ta calm down! Calm down when I saw the blood meself?!" Jack yelled exasperatedly.
Will blushed a little and said, "The back of her dress? Where exactly on the back of her dress?"
"Well, I'd say, well, ye know... er, around the bottom o'... 'er ass region." Jack said, getting frustrated.
Will blushed even more and said, "Jack, you see, after I married Elizabeth, I learned a few more things about women. Um... Jack, you see, for a few days a month..."
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"Here you go. I hope this'll fit you. I'll go out there and stall them and you can come out when you're ready." Tiffany said, handing a deep red dress to Mary Ann.
"Thank you so much!" Mary Ann responded. Tiffany smiled and slipped back outside.
Mary Ann quickly stripped her clothes and got cleaned up and changed.
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"... and you see, that is what allows them to bear children." Will finished. Jack was staring at the door that Mary Ann was behind with a mixed look of horror and disgust.
"Tha' was far more than I needed ta know, Turner." Jack said, than turned to Tiffany who had entered the room a few moments before, and added, "Does that happen ta ye too?!"
"Yep. It's a right pain in the ass, it is. That'll explain her moodiness lately." Tiffany replied.
Jack got an even more horrified look on his face and stood up. "I've got ta go do something on th' Pearl. Erm, bring 'er when she's... finished... in there."
"Men." Snorted Tiffany as Jack and Will practically tripped over each other trying to get out of her house.
A few minutes, Mary Ann came out and Tiffany explained what had happened. "OH GOD! WILL EXPLAINED IT?! How the hell am I supposed to face them now?!" Mary Ann yelled.
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Mary Ann, Tiffany, Will, and Jack all sat around a table in the Captain's Quarters in silence. Occasionally someone would cough or sigh, but everyone was extremely embarrassed about what happened before.
"So... what specifically can I help you with?" Tiffany asked, breaking the silance.
"Oh, yes, um, we're supposed to find a place called 'Half Moon Bay' beach. Have you heard of it?" Mary Ann said.
"Honey, I've lived here for a looooong time. It's not too far from here, tomorrow morning we can easily hike over there. What exactly do we do there?" Tiffany answered.
"Find a hollow Tamarind tree or something. She didn't tell us what to do once we did, though." Mary Ann said.
"Shit. That could take all day! How the hell are we going to do that?!" Tiffany questioned.
"Well, I guess we better get to sleep then, hm? We'll need our strength tomorrow. Tiffany, ye can share a room with Mary Ann tonight if ye don' want ta walk all the way home again, aye? Ok, than, goodnigh'." Jack said quickly and he rushed them out the door. Mary Ann stopped, though, and refused to leave.
"Listen, Jack. I know that you're embarrassed, trust me, so am I, but we should handle this like adults and move on with our lives. Pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase." She said quietly.
He nodded, but didn't look up from intently studying the floorboards, "goodnigh'" he said and closed the door in her face.
"ASSHOLE!" She shouted and threw an apple through his window.
Ok, there ya go! PULEASE REVIEW!!! I NEED 'EM TO SURVIVE!!
AN1: I'd like to thank Goth Princess/ Evil Duckie of the Black Lagoon for the whole bit about Mary Ann's period!!! GO YOU!!!! THANX BUNCHES!!!
AN2 PLEASE READ: I had a HUGE inner debate about weather or not Jack should fully understand the horror that is a period before the incident in this chapter. I understand that, as a grown man, he'd have some idea of it, but I decided for him to not be as educated on women's health because it would be much more amusing. IT'S FOR THE SAKE OF THE STORY, PEOPLE!!! K? Any complaints will be fed to my dog. Thanks!