- THE HOGWARTS DIARIES -
September 1st
Harry Potter, Gryffindor
Er. Dumbledore told me to begin. This is an inter-house diary to…strengthen the relationship between…the houses.
He said to begin by trying to find common interests.
I like Quidditch.
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
Like you're the only one, you twit.
September 2nd
Hermione Granger, Gryffindor
I don't think this is a very good way to strengthen the relationship between houses, you guys. We should try to act civilly towards one another.
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
Oh, shut up.
Ron Weasley, Gryffindor
Git! Don't speak that way to Hermione!
September 3rd
Ron Weasley, Gryffindor
Or any of us, actually.
Harry Potter, Gryffindor
I like Chocolate Frogs, too.
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
Shut up, Scarface.
September 4th
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
SCARFACE.
Neville Longbottom, Gryffindor
I'm worth ten of you, Malfoy!
Luna Lovegood, Ravenclaw
Oh, good, you tell him, Neville.
Hermione Granger, Gryffindor
Now, the teamwork between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw is good, but it shouldn't be directed towards another house. And Neville, go finish your Potions essay.
Neville Longbottom, Gryffindor
But I don't like Potions.
Hermione Granger, Gryffindor
It just makes it worse to put it off, Neville. Here, I'll look over it when you're done.
Ron Weasley, Gryffindor
Would you look over mine, too? Thanks a bunch!
Harry Potter, Gryffindor
Well, while you're at it…
Colin Creevey, Gryffindor
Oh, mine too!
September 5th
Hermione Granger, Gryffindor
You're not in our year, Colin, sorry.
Ginny Weasley, Gryffindor
Colin, we didn't even have a Potions essay, what are you talking about?
Colin Creevey, Gryffindor
Oh, that's right. Hermione, will you look over my Arithmancy essay, then? I heard that's your favorite class; it's mine too!
September 6th
Ginny Weasley, Gryffindor
Colin—you…don't…take…Arithmancy.
Luna Lovegood, Gryffindor
Maybe Colin has a crush on Hermione.
Ron Weasley, Gryffindor
Bugger off, Colin!
Harry Potter, Gryffindor
And snowy owls…I have a snowy owl. Does anyone else like snowy owls?
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
You are all. Complete. Morons.
September 7th
Hermione Granger, Gryffindor
It really isn't helping if we're only having interaction between one or two houses, everyone…let's hear some more from Hufflepuff and Slytherin, shall we?
Pansy Parkinson, Slytherin
Hermione's a Mudblood!
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
Pansy, shut up.
Pansy Parkinson, Slytherin
Draco, that was really rude of you! Why are you so mean to me? I try so hard for you! You know what, it's over, Draco. I'm breaking up with you.
September 8th
Pansy Parkinson, Slytherin
So there!
September 9th
Pansy Parkinson, Slytherin
I'm never speaking to you ever again.
September 10th
Pansy Parkinson, Slytherin
Ever, you hear me? NEVER!
September 11th
Harry Potter, Gryffindor
I like my Invisibility Cloak, too…
September 12th
Pansy Parkinson, Slytherin
I'm single!
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
Um, we were never even going out.
Pansy Parkinson, Slytherin
Oh, so now you're trying to get me back! Well, it's not going to work, Draco! You had your chance, and you ruined it!
Crabbe, Slytherin
I can't remember my first name.
September 13th
Ginny Weasley, Gryffindor
…Anyways. Harry, are you going to Hogsmeade next weekend?
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
Ooh, the baby Weasel has a crush on Potty!
Ginny Weasley, Gryffindor
We're dating, you nitwit.
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
…Well…you still have a crush on him!
Ginny Weasley, Gryffindor
…
September 14th
Harry Potter, Gryffindor
Yeah, I think so. Oh—there's another—I like Hogsmeade trips!
Pansy Parkinson, Slytherin
Oh, me too, Harry! We have so much in common!
Hermione Granger, Gryffindor
…
Ron Weasley, Gryffindor
…
Ginny Weasley, Gryffindor
…
Neville Longbottom, Gryffindor
…
Luna Lovegood, Gryffindor
…
Colin Creevey, Gryffindor
I love you, Hermione!
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
…
September 15th
Pansy Parkinson, Slytherin
Draco's jealous!
September 16th
Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster and former Gryffindor
Well, I see things are going swimmingly.
September 17th
Hermione Granger, Gryffindor
Perhaps we should get back to what this journal is actually for. Why don't we all follow Harry's example—common interests?
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
Oh, alright, Mudblood: I like carrying out Slytherin cult rituals in the common room devoted to killing Harry Potter and helping the Dark Lord with Professor Snape as our leader.
Harry Potter, Gryffindor
SNAPE'S A DEATH EATER! DUMBLEDORE, SNAPE'S A DEATH EATER!
Ron Weasley, Gryffindor
Harry's right! He's been right all along!
Hermione Granger, Gryffindor
Harry, Ron, I think he was joking.
Ron Weasley, Gryffindor
Yeah, really, get a grip, mate! What are you raving on about?
Harry Potter, Gryffindor
Some mate you are, Ron! Pretending to back me up but against me all along! I have no one to turn to…my parents are dead, my best mate's always against me…
Hermione Granger, Gryffindor
I'd be sympathetic, but I'm a little miffed you disregarded me as a friend.
Harry Potter, Gryffindor
Yeah, but you and Ron are busy being lovebirds, you're like one person now, so I can generalize.
Colin Creevey, Gryffindor
I'm more of a man than Ron will ever be!
Ron Weasley, Gryffindor
Shut up, Creevey. Harry, get a grip, honestly!
…Hermione, you do think I'm more of a man than Creevey, right?
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
You're all such dolts. All of you.
September 18th
Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts
Ten points from Slytherin for that, Malfoy! Harry, if he keeps botherin ye, I'll take more, just say the word, eh?
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
Hey! You're not allowed to take points!
Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts and Instructor of Care of Magical Creatures—Legitimate Hogwarts Teacher With All The Teacherly Rights
I'm a teacher, ain't I?
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin, Son of Lucius Malfoy, Who Can Avada Kedavra Your Groundkeeperness All The Way To Translyvanian Durmstrang
If you say so.
Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster and former Gryffindor
Mr. Malfoy, a word in my office, please?
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
I didn't write that, Professor! Potter did!
Harry Potter, Gryffindor
I like my Firebolt, too…hey, no, I didn't write that! SHUT UP, Malfoy!
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
No, YOU shut up!
Harry Potter, Gryffindor
No, YOU!
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
No, YOU!
Harry Potter, Gryffindor
No, YOU!
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
Scarface!
Harry Potter, Gryffindor
Ugly-hair!
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
Potty!
Harry Potter, Gryffindor
Ferret!
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
Mudblood-lover!
Harry Potter, Gryffindor
Pansy Parkinson-lover!
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
I DO NOT!
Pansy Parkinson, Slytherin
Draco!
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
Shut up, Pansy. Four-eyes!
Harry Potter, Gryffindor
REALLY ugly-hair!
Hermione Granger, Gryffindor
I think you cross the line of pointless when you're both standing right next to each other and the book taking turns writing in it.
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
Shut up, Mudblo—
September 19th
Ron Weasley, Gryffindor
Wow. Didn't know Creevey had it in him.
Harry Potter, Gryffindor
Didn't see that coming at all.
He broke my glasses when he grabbed for the book, though.
Hermione Granger, Gryffindor
I didn't even see him standing there.
Harry Potter, Gryffindor
He was behind Draco, in line for the book.
Ron Weasley, Gryffindor
Probably going to write a love note to you, Hermione.
Hermione Granger, Gryffindor
Shut up, Ron.
September 20th
Harry Potter, Gryffindor
Hey, can someone in Gryffindor give me the password? I've forgotten it; I'm going to wait outside our common room.
Neville Longbottom, Gryffindor
Oh, here, Harry, I actually know it this time: it's sensum verus.
Harry Potter, Gryffindor
…Thanks. Thanks a bunch, Neville.
Neville Longbottom, Gryffindor
No problem!
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
You really are idiots.
Neville Longbottom, Gryffindor
What?
September 21st
Neville Longbottom, Gryffindor
OH! Oops! Oh, right, sorry, guys…!
Draco Malfoy, Slytherin
Nice underwear collection, Potter.
Harry Potter, Gryffindor
Malfoy, why were you going through my underwear?
Ron Weasley, Gryffindor
Yeah, really…
Hermione Granger, Gryffindor
…
Ginny Weasley, Gryffindor
…
Neville Longbottom, Gryffindor
…
Luna Lovegood, Ravenclaw
…
Pansy Parkinson, Slytherin
DRACO!
Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster and former Gryffindor
I think I'm going to take this away for a while.
Well! If this gets good/a lot of reviews then I'll keep going by months...more Luna and Ginny and others...and, oh, what about a teachers' one?...
Review!