Hello ladies! Guess what I forgot?? A DISCLAIMER!!! So, DUH, I don't own anything except for Mary Ann and Caddy. There we go.
Smiley Cad: 'Ello poppet! Don't worry, I'll write a good story about you, k?
TheSiriusSparrow: Howdy! So, the randomness was a good thing? Maybe? I'm glad you liked it and thought that it was funny. And thanx so much for the nice reviews! It boosts my self-esteem and I really needed it!
Chatty291: Just wait... more dumb things on the way!
Polochicjilly: Thanx so much for the review, it made me smile and I was very happy that you stuck with the story even after I was a dumbass and didn't review for ages!
Evil Duckie of the BlackLagoon: Lordy, they look like idiots when they ate the fruit? MWAHAHAHAHA! Just read on...
Arsinoe Selene: Caddy's clever, but mean and evil. I think I like her character though... I mean, even though she does all that mean stuff, she just kind of... intrigues me. Well, there's my two cents, LOL. I'll stop wasting your time now and let you read the chapter.
Dimonah Tralon: Don't worry, they'll be fine, but I'm afraid that things must get worse before they get better. Mawahahahahahaha!!!
Psyco Dragon lover: Don't worry! I'll read your story within the next 24 hours, but I'm a bit rushed right now (I type these review thingers last), so I'll read it a.s.a.p, k?
Splashey: I'm tired too. I wake up at around 1 a.m. every night and I just can't fall asleep!!! It's so fricking annoying! Anyways, the usual... I hope you like this chapter too, oh yeah, and I think I did a MUCH better job with your character in this chappie!
Last chapter: "I've come ta a conclusion, luv. We're los'." Jack said.
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"Jack. We've been looking for them forever and accomplished nothing. Look, we're back where we started!" Mary Ann said exasperatedly as she plopped down on a tree trunk at the edge of the forest that was overlooking the beach.
The sun was setting and both Mary Ann and Jack had to agree that it was quite a romantic setting, if only they hadn't eaten those poisoned fruits. Jack sat down next to Mary Ann and not so subtly put his arm around her shoulder.
"Well, wha' should we do now, luv? It migh' be days, no, weeks before they find us! Ye know, these evenin' winds can be mighty cold. Any ideas on how we coul' keep warm?" Jack asked, rubbing her shoulder slowly and moving his hand down to rub her back.
Mary Ann was going to give Jack an earful, but she turned and looked into his eyes, which was rather stupid. Instead of snapping at him, she felt herself lean forward slightly.
Jack was positively jumping for joy on the inside and he leaned down and met her lips in a passionate spit swap (AN: POUR ON THE SAP! WAHOO!).
Jack had tangled one of his hands in her hair, and the other was slowly undoing the buttons on her dress, when Mary Ann pulled away sharply.
"Are ye alrigh', luv?" Jack asked cautiously because she had a very queer look on her face.
"Jack, I think I-" was all that Mary Ann got out before she spouted the contents of her stomach all over Jack's shirt.
She realized what she did and quickly leaned over the sand and continued to spew. (AN: L.M.F.A.O!!!)
Jack whipped off his shirt and kindly held her hair out of her face. After another few minutes of retching, Mary Ann slowly looked up to look Jack in the face. But, she never made it there, because she was stuck on his tanned, chiseled abs.
He smirked and waved his hand in front of her face. She blushed and met his gaze. "Sorry." She began, but he put his finger on her lips. She began to lean forward again, but he stopped her.
"As much as I would love for ye ta do tha', must I remind ye tha' ye jus' emptied yer stomach no more than 30 seconds ago?" He said, discreetly wiping his finger on a clean part of his shirt.
She blushed again and he added, "Let's go try an' find some clean water, an' than-" But Jack didn't get any further because he too heaved his lunch into the sand.
"Mary Ann, luv. Someone ou' there must really no' wan' us ta be together." He sputtered.
She smiled and rubbed his back soothingly. Damn, this'd be terribly romantic if we weren't puking our guts ou'. Jack thought.
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"That is so rad! My favorite color's yellow too! We have so much in common!" Tiffany exclaimed to Will.
They walked on a bit further in a comfortable silence, each enjoying the others' company, when Will looked back to see why Jack and Mary Ann were being so quiet.
"Tiffany, where are Jack and Mary Ann?" Will asked.
"Aw, crap! We must've lost 'em somewhere along the way. What do we do?" Tiffany asked.
"Let's go back to the Pearl and wait there during the night. If they aren't back by morning, we'll go back and look for them. The island can't be that big, I'm sure they'll be fine." Will answered. (AN: Hmmm... It seems to me like Mr. Turner just wants a little alone time with Tiffany. Ooooooooooh!)
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And somewhere off in the Caribbean Sea, Commodore Norrington was aboard one of his navy ships doing something boring as he got closer and closer to Antigua. Basically, the purpose of this paragraph is to let you know that Norrington is on the moooove, got that? Good.
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And now for something completely different. Jimmy the Baker was standing in the middle of the woods, Elizabeth by his side. He proudly stuck out his red plaid clad chest and sang proudly, "I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok, I sleep all night and I work all day. I cut down trees, I wear high heels, suspendies and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear mama."
"Oh, Jimmy! And I thought you were so butch!" Elizabeth cried, and with that, she took off running into the woods. (AN: That's not mine. I stole it from Monty Python and altered it a bit. If you haven't heard the Lumberjack song, LISTEN TO IT!!! Yeah... I'm done now.)
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AND NOW BACK TO WHAT YOU ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT:
Jack and Mary Ann were lying on the sand, Jack's arm around her, looking up at the stars (Say it with me, people! "AWWWWWWW!") in a comfortable silence. They had decided to spend the night on the beach with the waves tickling their toes, and follow along the beach to hopefully find the Pearl in the morning.
"Ye know, I don' think anythin' more embarrassin' could happen ta us." Jack said and Mary Ann laughed softly and drifted off to sleep.
The next morning Jack awoke to a strange sensation in his pants (AN: OH MY GOSH! THAT SOUNDS SO WRONG! Giggle giggle. Ok, I'm done now).
"Oh, Mary Ann, I didn' know ye'd want ter git fresh this early in the morning." Jack mumbled, not opening his eyes.
But, suddenly he felt a strong stinging fire spread across his legs and where the sun don't shine.
He screamed (yes, screamed, not yelled.) and jumped up, swatting his pants and jumping around like a two-year-old on their birthday among the waves. A small purple blob fell out of his pants and washed out into the ocean.
"Jack! What's wrong?" Mary Ann asked.
"A DAMN JELLYFISH SWAM UP ME PANTS AN' STUNG ME!!!" He said, eyes tearing up and his hands at his crotch.
Mary Ann winced and said, "Well, we need warm water or vinegar. Try getting in the ocean. Maybe that'll be warm enough."
No later than the words left her mouth, than Jack ran into the water... and ran back out screaming again, "IT'S BLOODY COLD!!!!"
"I'm so sorry, Jack, but those are the only remedies I know!" Mary said hurriedly.
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"Just past these trees and we'll see the beach... JACK! MARY ANN!" Tiffany shrieked as she spotted Jack and Mary Ann sitting on the beach.
"What are you doing?!" Will asked as he got a better look. Mary Ann was rubbing Jack's back soothingly again and Jack had his legs spread, a significantly larger bulge in the front of his trousers.
"Go' stung by a jellyfish." Jack grumbled.
Tiffany tried, unsuccessfully, to hold in her laughter, but quickly helped Will and Mary Ann lift Jack and drag him back towards the Pearl.
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Late the next day, the four found themselves along the coastline of Hell's Gate, Guatalupe, trying to locate the hidden cave and keep down their meals simultaneously. Jack's swelling had gone down a bit, but everyone was getting sicker and sicker, and they were slowly and painfully losing hope of ever finding the antidote.
After 3 more agonizing hours, they finally sighted a small black opening in the side of a cliff. Unfortunately, Caddy didn't make it easy for them, and they had to row in a separate boat into the cave. Finally, they found a few bushes of small purple berries at the mouth of the cave.
The rest of the cave was deserted, and they were beyond sick, so they were getting desperate. They downed handfuls of the berries and just hoped that it help their aching bellies a little.
"Well," Said Caddy, emerging from behind a boulder, "I see that you got here in time... yet, not quite unscathed(With that, she glanced between Jack's legs). Here's your next test, you're going to play a little game with my dear friend, Lexie Hsawaknow. She's in Tortuga, just ask around. You'll find her. Good luck; you're going to need it."
Ok, would you say I'm a sick person for enjoying writing those embarrassing escapades? OK, just REVIEW!! HAS EVERYONE STOPPED READING THIS?! I've noticed that a few people have reviewed in the past, but haven't really stuck with it. Are you guys still out there?? Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the new people (hugs for everyone), I just want to know what I did to lose so many people over the duration of the story.
PLEASE REVIEW! I hate having to hold the next chapter hostage for some more reviews, so don't make me do it!
TA!
