GOOD LORD I'M SORRY!!! I AM THE WORST PERSON IN THIS UNIVERSE!!! I DESERVE TO BE SLATHERED IN SMELLY FISH GUTS AND FED TO THE EELS (shudder, I hate eels!)!!! YOU MAY NOW TAKE OUT YOUR ROCKS AND ASSORTED ROTTEN FRUIT AND CHUCK THEM AT ME!!! (you all chuck your rocks and assorted rotten fruit at me and somebody chucks a blender) I deserved that...

Anyways... this is my self-bashing session for making y'all wait soooo flippin' long for the next chapter! So, as a reward for you all, and to vent your frustration at my tardiness, in your next review, I would like you insult me in the most creative way possible, k? The winner with the most creative insult will have their's used in the next chapter. But really, we're all winners... except for me... I'm a loser for making you wait this long.

Ok, moving on to the second order of business, I must say that I am having a flipping hard time with this story. The problem is... I HATE IT!!! I love my plot idea to death, but I have the sinking feeling that I slathered this story in fish guts and fed it to the eels... or simply just flushed it down the crapper. I'm going to attempt to salvage this story, but I don't know how it will end up.

Normally, I'd say bear with me, but in this situation, I'd like to say, that if you're getting annoyed with this story, feel free and abandon ship right now! For those of you who are gonna ride this thing down to the depths of Davy Jones' Locker with me, bless your souls, and you can still opt to abandon ship, I won't hate you for it. I don't know what's wrong with me (other than the fact that I'm sicker than a dog... actually, I never got that expression, not all dogs are sick, so I suppose I should say sicker than a... sick person. Yep, I've got a terrible bout of the flu, but that could be good for you guys 'cause that will give me more time to stew over the current problem that is my story...), I have the rest of the plot sorted out, but I just can't put it into words!!! ARGH!!!

Well, that was a rather long-winded authors note, and I would just post this, but apparently you're not allowed to post just author's notes. I don't want my baby to be deleted, so I'll give you all a nice paragraph of the story and hopefully you'll get the rest sometime in the next week.

Last chapter: "Well," Said Caddy, emerging from behind a boulder, "I see that you got here in time... yet, not quite unscathed(With that, she glanced between Jack's legs). Here's your next test, you're going to play a little game with my dear friend, Lexie Hsawaknow. She's in Tortuga, just ask around. You'll find her. Good luck; you're going to need it "

Meanwhile somewhere in the wilderness of Port Royal, Elizabeth is running around, searching for Will after realizing three things. 1) Will is hot. 2) Will is chivalrous. And 3) Will is better than deranged bakers who are really just fruity lumberjacks in disguise. Note to self: Find Will and the kids. Other Note to self: It would also be a good idea to find my flipping way out of this forest.

There you have it! That was most definitely not a bunch of horse crap that I threw in here so that it would technically not be just an author's note... shifty eyes . By the way, I took a quiz on which Friends character I was, and I'm Chandler for the sarcasm... yep.

IF ANYONE IS STILL READING THIS, you should get a trophy or something. Yes, I'll give you a trophy and inscribed in it next to a picture of the lovely Jack Sparrow and Will Turner and me puking into a bucket, it will say 'To the brave soul who read the heinously long and tedious author's note, I mean "chapter" and reviewed! Don't forget to send your insults!!! And simply say 'abandon ship' if you're leaving me, and whatever the heck you want if you (insane person you are) are sticking with me.

p.s. I swear this is the last thing!!! I have not been able to review everyone's story lately and I must apologize for that because, A) I'm a bitch, but a busy one nonetheless and haven't been able to be on the computer for more than 15 minutes about every other day, and B) Well, actually there is no B, I just wanted to make another list because I like them.

CAN ANYONE TELL THAT I DON'T HAVE ANYONE TO TALK TO TODAY?!