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Thank you all so much for your lovely reviews! I really appreciate it! Here's another chapter. This one is a little short, but the next will most likely be very long!
A/N: This chapter starts where Anakin is about to fall into the lava. It's more centered around his thoughts this time.
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"Beautiful"
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Chapter 3
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It was like being in a wind tunnel. He could hear nothing else but the roaring of the inevitable. His death. He would fall into tons of lava and feel the liquid burning rapidly through his back until it engulfed his face the next second. And all he would be able to do is stare at a man that had never left him alone. A man who'd always been there for him whether it was needed or not. / How could I have ever thought he was a liar?. / He asked himself, his voice a mere whisper inside his head.
/ Anakin! / A soft voice snapped through his mind. / No! /
And suddenly he wasn't falling anymore. He was being pulled back onto the platform with Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan was helping him...was saving him, even though his own padawan had tried to kill him. / He's a fool! / A near hysteric voice screamed inside his head.
Anakin's eyes lifted in an instant, staring deep into beautiful blue-green depths. / So many years...is it really that easy for me to let us go? Let someone so important to me go? Is this the doing of the Dark Side? Could something really be so rottenly evil that it would make a person forget about a lifetime of caring, of closeness?. / All these questions raced through Anakin's mind, but he could barely take the time to ponder them, because his blue eyes were locked with Obi-Wan's and he was drowning in that forever forgiving sea.
The rest seemed to happen in an instant. He felt like he had no time to breathe, and as his back slammed into the rocky surface of the lava shore, he felt his heart skip a beat. For one second, his mind was filled with such fear, fear that he'd really fallen into the lava and Obi-Wan hadn't grabbed him. That momentary fear seemed to last a life time, and he found that he wanted to scream, scream for all he was worth.
"Anakin." A voice broke through his thoughts, instantly chasing away his suffocating panic. "Are you all right? Are you hurt?"
Anakin looked at Obi-Wan through confused eyes as his old mentor gently touched his cheek. / ..I want to go back..-no! No, I can't do this now!. / Anakin berrated himself, grasping for his light saber, but of course, he'd dropped it...into lava. How many times had he lost his light saber? Fond memories started to pop up inside of his mind left and right. He pushed them away violently before words flurried from his mouth and he was standing once more.
And now he was trying to persuade him to leave the Dark Side. Obi-Wan was practically begging.
Undeniable sorrow roiled inside of his gut making him want to puke, but he quickly rolled it into anger. A fuel so he could burn...so he could go on as the person he was now.
They fought it out inside of each other's mind. A heated verbal dispute. But unfortunately, Obi-Wan was always better with words. He always managed to turn things on him, could always find a fault. A way out. An escape.
/ ...I should have shown you how much I cared for you, Anakin. We're all different inside. You need the protection of love, the comfort of security...and I never showed you that. / And there it was. Anakin had felt so sure of himself when he'd started all of this. He felt like he was doing what was necessary, what would ensure his future with his wife and kids to be a great one. But not anymore. Now he just felt like a fool, an idiot. A complete, pathetic excuse for a Jedi...for anything. / What would my mother say?. / He asked himself with a pinch of humor he thought he didn't have at the moment. Or maybe it wasn't humor at all. Maybe it was just him grappling for what humanity he had left.
He felt the stinging pain, the strong craving to just break down and let it all out. But he wouldn't, he would hold it in. Scrunching his eyes shut, he struggled to keep the tears in.
And yet again, he was surprised as he was suddenly pulled into a firm hug.
/ Can you ever forgive me, Anakin?. /
Forgive...Could he forgive? ...no...because...there was nothing to forgive. His mind echoed over and over again. And like an ocean tide, he felt defeat wash over him. His head drooped, resting tiredly on Obi-Wan's shoulder. How good it felt to let go of the tenseness, to let himself relax. / Only you...only you could do this... / Anakin sighed to himself. / Damn you. /
Pain crackled through his head as a shrill whistle sounded. Dismayed and confused by this sudden attack, Anakin jumped out of Obi-Wan's embrace, stumbling backwards and onto his knees, his hands pressing on his temples.
He heard Obi-Wan's yell of concern before it was drown out by a huge explosion, debris falling all over him the next second.
Anakinstood unsteadily amongst the instantaneous chaos, looking out through the floating black soot to possibly locate Obi-Wan. He called his name in his mind link, but received not an answer from his old master, but an answer that filled him with dread.
/ Lord Vader. /
Darkness was this voice's companion, and it immediately breached all his newly built walls, his weak walls, turning them to dust in seconds, filling his heart with strangling blackness once more. No one was there to help him, and he felt himself fall victim to the Dark Lord once more. / Master. /
/ You will jump aboard the ship as we pass over. / The voice commanded, allowing no room for insubordination.
/ Yes, Master. / Anakin said in a robotic voice, his true self desperately struggling to contact Obi-Wan, but the Dark Lord made sure it would be impossible.
And then the ship was hovering next to him and with resignation he prepared to jump, but a voice halted him.
"Anakin!"
He turned his head, gazing at Obi-Wan who was sitting meters away. He looked hurt, but alive. Anakin felt some presence of relief inside himself.
/ I need to tell you something. / Anakin breathed, trying to push the darkness away, but it was too thick, and it gripped him, forcing him to shake his head at Obi-Wan before he leapt aboard the ship's lowered platform.
He mechanically walked onboard, the door shutting behind him, shutting out his last hope.
Looking dazedly around him, he saw many white suited men, and as he looked forward, he saw his new master. Darth Sidious walked toward him, the darkness he emitted menacing.
Anakin fell to his knees, the fatigue of earlier events taking hold. He'd been filled with darkness, and then he'd managed to shake it off with his beloved master's help, but he needed time to rekindle the light...and time he did not have, not in the presence of the Dark Lord himself.
"I'm glad you are unharmed, Lord Vader." Darth Sidious said in a throaty grumble. "Now rest."
Darkness engulfed his mind like a ton of sand falling over a fire. And something was nagging at him. He was forgetting something. He had to tell his master what he was forgetting.
But the darkness was too powerful.
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A low hiss echoed around a large, metal room. Computers beeped and whirred here and there, many different colors flashing or glaring in the dark.
"Is something the matter, Lord Sidious?" Dunagi, the highly respected captain of the space craft, asked.
A cloaked figure let out another low hiss, anger curling from him in lethal tendrils. "The boy will not let go of his memories! He merely deflects my powers of persuasion!"
The captain's brows rose in mild surprise. No one had ever managed to resist Lord Sidious's powers. A faint smile curved his lips. He was already liking the boy that lay latched to the metal table before the Dark Lord. Perhaps they could get some new management around here, and Dunagi would not have to look upon the horribly disturbing, and crinkly chin of this haggard old man anymore.
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Anakin was floating in a forever darkness that only seemed to press at him minute after minute. It was squeezing at him, trying to get at something.
After a long while, Anakin grew tired and a tentacle of crimson darkness crept into his mind slithering its way toward something. A memory. More importantly, a memory of his mother.
Anakin stared curiously as the crimson arm would touch the memory, and in that same second send it breaking into millions of tiny pieces. Anakin could feel his thoughts jerk in alert as that memory was suddenly forgotten. He seemed to remember what it had been about just a moment ago, and now he could not place it.
As the tendril reached for another memory, Anakin lashed out with angry thoughts, nearly smashing the tentacle into a pancake as he closed his memories with an almost door-like slam.
He may not be able to save his mind, save who he was, but he knew he could save his memories. The memories that mattered to him deeply. And perhaps...one day, he could open his memories once more without the threat of them being erased. And maybe, just maybe, he would still be able to be who he used to be.
But for now, he had to hide it all away...
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"AHHHH!" Anakin screamed, chunking his bedside lamp to the wall where it smashed loudly, breaking into many pointy shards.
"Lord Vader! Control yourself!" A voice rasped threateningly.
"Control myself! Control myself?" Anakin shrieked, wheeling around to glare at his master. "She's dead! Everything I lived for is DEAD!" Anakin cried, his powers blistering forth to grab a large picture frame, hurling it across the room and into the wall with an ear shattering crash.
"Enough!" Darth Sidious roared, purple lightning crackling from his fingertips where it would shock Anakin into a state of submission as he writhed on the ground in pain.
"Please, Master! I-I'm sorry! Please, stop!" Anakin begged, his body going limp as the burning pain retreated leaving him feeling exhausted and empty.
"You forget who has saved your life, Lord Vader! Has saved you! Obi-Wan was inches from killing you. I saw it with undeniable clarity! Jedi Kenobi had his saber drawn behind your back, ready to kill you, ready to take everything from you! He was ready to take your revenge! He turned Padmé against you, and he killed her! You must get revenge, on him and all of the Jedi. It was all their faults! They're vile rats using petty rules as excuses for their unjust actions!"
Anakin wanted to shake his head, wanted to say it wasn't so. That it couldn't be so, but he dare not disobey his master, so he only nodded his head, letting this brainwashing seep deep inside of him. Letting lies shape him. "Yes, Master. I will get my revenge." Anakin spoke with shaky breaths.
Those crinkled lips curled into a grin. "Good, good. You will get your revenge soon, my new apprentice. For now, for this short time, you must control yourself." Darth Sidious cooed, heading for the door. "Soon Padmé will have her justice and things will be right again..."
"Yes..." Anakin whispered as the door opened. "..yes.." And then he was left to lay alone in the darkness of a broken room.
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When Anakin next awoke, he crawled to the bathroom of his large apartment, using the counter to hoist himself up. Then, making sure to shield his eyes, he turned the light on. It took a long moment to adjust to the brightness, but he managed to, and as he looked upon his face, his eyes widened in horror.
"Who am I?" He breathed out, backing up into the wall behind him, staring all the while at his terrified reflection.
Anakin.
Anakin!
Anakinn!
Oh, Ani!
Anakin...
"Stop!" Anakin sobbed, his hands gripping at his head, as he sunk down into a sitting position. Where had all those voices come from?...It was like they were right next to him, calling his name. His name...
From now on, you will be known as Darth Vader...
Anakin embraced that sentence. He was Lord Vader, Darth Vader. He was darkness, he was power, he was revenge.
He stood, careful not to look at the mirror as he exited the bathroom. He stomped across the apartment and to the entrance. With a mechanical swoosh, the door opened. A soldier standing guard turned in surprise to look upon Anakin's angry face. "M-my Lord. Do you need something?"
Anakin stared hard at this meaningless man before him. "...I want a suit...now."
"A-A suit, my Lord?"
"Did I stutter?" Anakin hissed.
"W-What kind of suit, Lord Vader?" The soldier choked out, feeling fear grip at his heart.
/ ...You're heading for a life of suffering, of pain! A life filled with the fear of others! Do you really want that?. /
Anakin jumped in surprise at the sudden assailing voice. The guard jumped as well, fearing his head would be removed.
Feeling extremely perturbed and angry, Anakin grabbed the man by his neck and threw him down the hall before returning to his room. He would rest...and then, then he would hide himself from his eyes, from everyone's eyes.
He found himself hoping that the guard's trip down the hall was a deadly one.
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TBC...
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Harr harrr, and there you have it. This was a strange one to write, but I like it. Just a little snipet of Anakin's life after the Mustafar thing...
This is the last chapter that will be in the past. The next chapter will be the following of the first chapter. Anakin and Obi-Wan will talk and all that good stuff...
Hope you enjoyed reading, thanks so much for all of your support and reviews! You're too kind.
Again, any questions and I'll answer them. If you want, I'll send you an e-mail, just make sure to be signed in or leave your e-mail with your review.
-Aryll