Ahoy thar maties! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! An xtra special piratey ahoy ta me loyal reviewin' crew: polochicjilly, zumanity57, lordoftheringsficreader, chatty291, Arsinoe Selene (By the way, I WANT YOUR SHIRT!!! That is hilarious! I'm sad though, because I couldn't find a way to incorporate it in the story!), Smiley Cad, kestrel, Elven Sailor Girl, Psyco Dragon Lover, Evil Duckie of the BlackLagoon, Splashey, Dimonah Tralon, and Graceless!!! I want to thank y'all bunches for stickin' by me and I also want to thank the lovely Dimonah Tralon and Evil Duckie of the BlackLagoon again for helping me!!! Thanks, ladies!

AN IMPORTANT NOTE: I'm afraid that Jack is a little OOC in this first part! I can't figure it out, but I'm absolutely hating myself at the moment because there's nothing that I hate more than when Jack is out of character. SO, if anyone has ideas on how to fix it, let me know and I'll repost this chapter. THANX A BUNCH!!!

Last "chapter": Other Note to self: It would also be a good idea to find my flipping way out of this forest.

If someone came up to you on the street and asked you to define awkward, you might reply "marked by or causing embarrassment or discomfort." BUT, you could also easily reply "the feeling between Jack and Mary Ann on the journey to Tortuga" and both would be valid answers. It's true that they had made some headway in their "relationship", but they had gone through so many embarrassing encounters that Mary Ann wasn't so sure about how to react around him.

One fine day, about three hours from Tortuga, Mary Ann found herself staring at Jack out of the corner of her eye (a favorite past time for her).

"For everyone else's sake, go talk to him!" Mary Ann jumped about a foot in the air and whipped around to glare at Tiffany, who was smirking knowingly at her, "Don't you glare at me! You two have been sneaking glances at each other, rather obviously I might add, ever since we left that island, but you've hardly said anything to each other. I mean, how hard is it to just admit that you like each other?! Just go over and say 'Hey, Jack. I think you're the most sexy being on this earth and I want to shag you all night long and then some-"

"Is tha' so, luv? I though' we had a little problem with ol' Jack. I believe someone was rather harsh back in Antigua..." Came Jack's voice from directly behind Tiffany. Mary Ann just sniggered as Tiffany's eyes nearly popped out of her head. Somewhere along her rant, Jack had come down to see what the fuss was all about and heard her confessing her feelings for him.

Tiffany said in the calmest voice that she could, "Methink'st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee, (AN: Thanx to Dimonah Tralon for this insult!)" and when she got no answer, she proceeded to yell, "I WAS TALKING ABOUT MARY ANN LIKING YOU!!! CAN'T YOU JUST GET OVER YOURSELVES AND ADMIT THAT YOU LIKE EACH OTHER?!" and with that, she stormed off, leaving a veeeeeery awkward silence behind.

"Um... heh... sorry about that. You know how Tiffany can be..." Mary Ann said quietly.

"Aw, luv. Ye don' 'ave ta be ashamed about wanting a little lovin' from Jack!" He said, coming over to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

"JACK!" She exclaimed, pushing his arm off (even though she looooved the way that it felt) and tried to walk away.

Jack got a little annoyed and pulled her back, he'd been equally embarrassed about some of the things that happened, but he was tired of the little avoiding game that they were playing. "Listen luv, what's the problem 'ere?" When he only got silence as a response, he continued, "I've been nice ta ye 'aven't I? I know tha' ye don' hate me considerin' the fact that at Half Moon Bay beach ye were more than happy ta kiss me... well, tha' was before we started ta retch, but the fact still remains luv. Ye wanted me. Wha's yer problem now?"

Mary Ann blushed, but still found that she couldn't form coherent sentences, so Jack but it bluntly, "Woul' ye like me ta kiss ye?"

"Would you bug me mercilessly about it if I did?" she asked, finally able to look at his face.

Jack pretended to look thoughtful for a moment and replied, "Yes, I believe that I would."

Mary Ann just shook her head for a moment, but threw her proper mannerisms out the window and leaned forward to kiss him anyway.

&!(&)(!&&!$&(!&()!(&!!

They reached Tortuga just as the sun was dipping below the horizon. It was incredibly noisy and as they made their way through the streets the girls earned more than a few whistles and crude comments. Tiffany flipped the commenting men off, but Mary Ann was a little freaked out, so Jack put his arm around her; I shoul' take 'er 'ere more often if she is gonna wan' ta cuddle every time...

"How are we going to find Miss Hsawaknow in this zoo?" Will questioned.

Jack didn't answer and walked up to the soberest-looking man that he could find (which wasn't very sober).

"Erm, do ye happen ta know where we coul' find a 'Lexie Hsawaknow'? We're lookin' ta er play a... game with 'er..." Jack said awkwardly.

The man burst into laughter and pointed to the nearby tavern labeled 'The Raspberry Beret'. "Try in there. Good luck wit yer game... yer gonna need it!"

"Thaaaaaanks." Jack replied and dragged Mary Ann into the tavern, scowling at the drunks leering at Mary Ann, with Will and Tiffany in tow.

Upon entering the bar, there was only one word that came to mind... dirty. By using "dirty", one can mean several things. It could mean soiled or unclean, Obscene or indecent, or Unethical or corrupt. There are few times when all of these apply, but this is a perfect example of such a time. Whores were everywhere and it was positively crawling with stinking drunk sailors.

Jack looked around for a minute and pulled Mary Ann a bit closer while heading over to the bartender.

"Do ye 'appen ta know where we coul' find a Lexie Hsawaknow?" Jack asked.

The bartender looked at him suspiciously, "Why?"

"Is she 'ere?" Jack asked, ignoring his question.

"Who?"

"Lexie Hsawaknow." Jack spit out, gritting his teeth.

"Wha'?" The bartender yelled back.

"Lexie Hsawaknow!"

"Wha' about 'er?"

Jack moved forward with lightning speed, grabbed the bartender's collar, and got right up in his face, "Listen, mate. I've 'ad ta kiss a frog, eat poisoned fruit, get me crowned jewels stung, an' a can't even pronounce the name of the lass I'm lookin' fer. I really don' 'ave time fer this!"

"It's ok, Tom, I'll handle this." Said a voice from behind them.

They turned to find a tall, dark-haired woman with piercing brown eyes.

"Lexie?!" Mary Ann asked.

"Mary Ann? Is 'at ye?" The woman asked.

"YEAH!"

"Oh me gosh! I haven't seen ye for like forever!" The woman said in a ditzy voice.

"Lexie, you should be dead! It's been at least 150 years! Why have you changed your last name?" Mary Ann questioned after giving Lexie a huge hug.

"Sorry ta break up this lil' reunion, but would anyone like ta share wha' the hell is going on?" Jack asked.

"Come 'ere, let's discuss this where there aren't any pryin' ears..." Lexie said and the four followed her to a closed off room in the back. It was very dark except for one lantern hanging above a table; a deck of cards sat in the middle.

They sat down and Lexie picked up the deck of cards and started to absently play with them while she explained, "Mary Ann's me cousin an' closest friend. Ye see, Mary, I accidentally overheard Caddie and yer father talkin' abou' how they had turned ye into a frog. No one was supposed ta know, so Caddie cast a spell on me too."

"What did she do to you?" Tiffany asked.

"Well, I'm kind of like her servant... kind of. I've got ta do 'er dirty work basically forever because she made me immortal which is really hard! Do ye know 'ow tough it is ta have a boyfriend when you never really get any older?! Anyway, I changed my last name from Wonkawash to Hsawaknow because I was ashamed an' didn't wan' anyone ta know tha' it was me doing all these horrible things for Caddy."

"Yer last name was Wonkawash and ye changed it ta Hsawaknow?" Jack asked.

She sighed deeply and said, "Yes. I know ye don' see the connection right now but Hsawaknow is Wonkawash backwards. Isn't tha' clever?! It only took me about three months to figure it out! I knew no one would ever figure it out! Even you!"

The other four nodded slowly, only one thought running though their minds, 'this woman is not the brightest bulb in the package.'

"Well, what are we supposed to do now?" Will asked.

"Ye were supposed ta play a game of poker against me, but that's not fair because when ye lose, Mary Ann becomes a frog again!" Lexie answered.

"Excuse me? When we lose? I happen to be very good at poker!" Tiffany retorted.

"I don' mean ta be rude, but I don' think it's possible for ye ta beat me. I've never lost a game in me life!" Lexie said.

"I really think you should at least let us try. I grew up playing poker and I think that I could easily beat you." Tiffany replied, trying not to yell at the woman seated across from her.

"Fine. I'm sorry Mary, but I'm afraid that yer soon ta become a frog again." Lexie said as she began to deal out the cards.

"Wait. Ye can' use these cards." Jack said.

"Why not?" Lexie asked calmly.

"There's obviously somethin' wrong with 'em. Don' pretend. I've been watchin' ye play aroun' with those things fer the past five minutes and every time ye reshuffle an' flip the top card over, it's the King of 'earts. If tha' witch can turn a grown woman into a frog, she coul' easily rig a deck o' cards." Jack pointed out.

"That can't be true! I'm a great poker player! Even Caddy told me so! She said I was the best and gave me these cards to prove it!" Lexie exclaimed, confirming everyone's thoughts. Yes, she was definitely dropped on her head as a child.

Tiffany scowled and Jack pulled a deck out from his boot, "Use these."

Mary Ann quirked an eyebrow and said, "You just carry those around in there?"

"Ye'd be surprised wha' I've got hidden, luv," he said suggestively.

So, Tiffany grabbed the rancid deck and dealt a hand for herself and Lexie.

"Hey, aren't we playing?" Will asked.

"We're betting on Mary Ann's physical form here. If one of you loses, she's a goner. Trust me." Tiffany replied.

Well, what kind of a story would this be if Tiffany lost? Well, it would probably be better, but Tiffany did win; with a high card nine, might I add. Yes that's right, a high card nine. Lexie, the so-called Queen of Poker got completely crap cards. This is the point at which we point and laugh. Ready... go.

Now, Caddy was not too happy about this. She stormed into the room (she was hiding behind some drunks when they entered the bar and she had pressed her ear up to the door throughout the entire game.

"HOW THE HELL HAVE YOU GOTTEN THIS FAR??? I've sent you to forest to find a hollow tree, and out of all of the trees on the entire island, you found it, I separated you four while you were poisoned, and instead dying a hopeless death while lost in the forest, you survived, and found the antidote! This is the fourth task and you've STILL defeated it! Well, I can guarantee that you won't be successful in the last task (AN1)."

"What do we have to do?" Will asked.

"Oh, not you, dear," She said in a condescending tone, "These two lovebirds will be the only ones participating in this last challenge. I must get going now, I hear my son coming." She said and vanished.

Little did they know that she was actually hinting to them that, /gasp/ everyone's favorite friend Norrington had just docked in Tortuga and was sending his little redcoat minions out to look for his beloved Mary Ann. He had arrived in Antigua a short while after they left and his mother made up some idiotic story about someone hearing them talk about going to Guatalupe and than to Tortuga, so he had been hot on their trail.

Ok, dudes, I'm leaving you here. I'm sorry that this chapter wasn't funny, but I needed to keep working on the plot. REVIEW!!! I swear, you guys are gonna LOVE the next chapter... or hate it... anyways, just review so I know what you guys think!

AN1: Ok, I'm sick of writing more tasks, so I tweeked it a bit so the tasks are as follows: 1)Finding the hollow tree, 2) getting lost in the forest, 3)Finding the antidote, 4) Poker game, 5)MWAHAHAHAHAHA! NOT TELLING YET!!!