With All My Heart

Lily's Lovely Ex

"Well James you see… I dated this guy… and… well… he…" Tears began forming in Lily's eyes, she had never told anyone about this particular guy, not even her Natalie. It was scaring her. She didn't know why she was about to tell James, but she knew she had to. It was necessary.

"Listen Lily, if you don't want to tell me, you don't have to." James said quietly. He wanted to know, but he wasn't going to push her into telling him.

Luckily at that moment James' house elf, Wendy, walked in. "Sir, Mr. Sirius wants you to come up to the common area of your wing. Sir." Wendy squeaked.

"Do you mind Lil? I think they might be getting worried up there." James said quietly so Wendy could not here.

"Yeah, they might be worried I have drowned you by now." Lily replied teasingly.

"Lily, you wish, come on, we better go though. Sirius gets a little testy after a while." James replied.

Lily gave a soft laugh, and nodded.

"Wendy goes inform Sirius that we will be up in about ten minutes." James said to Wendy, who nodded and turned and walked away. "Lily, you want to finish, or wait till another time?" James asked quietly.

"We should wait till later, now isn't a good time." Lily replied as they started walking back up to James' wing of the house.

"I hate when Sirius does this, he gets lonely at times." James told Lily. She knew this already. When James was off with a girl during the year Lily would talk to Sirius about this kind of stuff. Lily just nodded.

"James, what's the deal with Sirius, he never says anything about his family, I know his cousin and brother are at Hogwarts, but he never speaks to them. What's up with that?" Lily asked.

"Sirius hates his family. They're a pretty dark family. Sirius doesn't like them. He ran away after last summer and came here to live with me. My parents love him. He spends all his time here, has his own room, well actually three rooms, but only cause when we get in a fight my parents put him in a room that I can't find in me in a room he can not find. So we have to meet in the kitchen when we calm down. That is how it's been as long as I can remember knowing Sirius." James told Lily.

"Wow, I never knew his family was so dark, I knew he didn't like them, but I never knew it was that bad." Lily replied. They had made their way up to James' wing of the house quietly. Lily went in her room and changed into some comfy pajamas. She walked out into the hallway where James stood waiting for her.

He took her hand and they walked into James' common area. Everyone was already sitting around waiting for the two to enter.

"Look who's finally decided to join us." Natalie said with a smirk.

"Nat, nothing happened so wipe that glorious smirk off your face. Absolutely nothing happened." Lily said to her best friend.

"But how do we know that? You were with James, I hate to tell you, but James doesn't not do stuff when he is alone with a girl." Remus said. He had a smirk on his face.

"Remus, Sirius, I know this may be hard for you to believe, but we didn't do anything, we were just talking when you sent Wendy to fetch me! Sirius, I hate when you do that. We were in the middle of a very important conversation!" James said, slightly annoyed at his friend's arrogance.

"Aw, we're sorry James, but no one forced you to come up here. You did it on your own free will, and if you don't mind me asking, what was so important that you didn't want to come up here?" Sirius asked in a mock sad voice.

James gave Lily a nervous look, he wasn't sure if he should tell them. "It's up to Lily, it is not my decision whether you know or now, it's hers." James told them sternly.

"Lily, care to share?" Natalie said, but when she saw the frightened look on Lily's face she regretted it. "It has to do with him doesn't it?" Natalie asked. Lily just nodded.

James, Sirius, and Remus didn't know what to say; they did not know what the girls were talking about or whom 'him' was. They knew it couldn't be good though because Lily and Natalie were both staring at each other in shock.

"Lily, you were going to tell James about him? You know James would probably hunt him down and kill him… You understand that, right?" Natalie asked concerned.

Lily finally spoke. "Nat, I can not have a relationship with someone who can not understand what happened, and I think maybe I should tell all three of these guys. They need to know." Lily said, a little scared still.

"It is up to you Lily, but remember no one is making you." Natalie responded.

"Okay, guys, what I'm about to tell you does not leave this room, got it?" She waited for them all to nod, then continued. "The summer after third year, I went back to live with my family. They're muggles, as you all know. Well, I met this guy, William. He was almost two years older than me, and he was going to be in grade eight that fall, which in Hogwarts time would be a second year. Anyway, we dated. He was at my house all the time, and he was my first serious relationship. Well, we would hang out all the time, and snog, nothing big… But he always wanted to go farther, but me, I didn't.

"Well to make a long story short, he wanted me to sleep with him, I finally just said NO, flat out, and then I started avoiding him. Well I spoke with his ex-girlfriend, and found out he had slept with her about a month after him and me started dating. So I dumped him finally and he ran back to her.

"I was young, and stupid, and afraid. It hurt so bad, and that's why I have trouble with relationships." Lily finished with a tear in her eye. She hadn't told them the whole truth, but that didn't matter now.

There was silence. James and Sirius looked like they could kill someone, which Lily was sure they would do if they ever met William. Remus was holding Natalie and he too looked like he could really hurt someone.

Natalie who already knew the story looked frustrated. She knew Lily hadn't told them the whole truth, but she didn't understand why. She knew whatever reason Lily had; it was probably a good one.

"Lily… Thanks for telling us, and you said this guy was a muggle, right?" James said softly with his arm around her now.

"Yeah, he used to live near me. He went to private school so I can avoid him during the summer holidays." Lily responded quietly.

"Okay, but if he ever comes near you again, be sure to tell us, okay?" It was Sirius who spoke this time.

"Of course I will Sirius, I could never not tell my best friends something important like that." Lily smiled then yawned.

"You guys want to sleep out here? We can make room and have a slumber party? It will be fun." Natalie said smirking.

"As long as they boys don't try something stupid." Lily responded.

"We would never take advantage of you Lily dear, you should know that." Sirius said with mock sadness.

"C'mon, I'll have Wendy and Ronnie set the room up for us while we go change, or while you three go change. Lily want to go with me, we're going to the kitchen. I've got to tell the house elves what their orders are and we can get some food, I do not want them to have to do all the cooking and stuff, they deserve a break tonight I think." James said.

"How considerate, c'mon, lets go." Lily replied. They walked out of the room hand in hand to go find the house elves.

READ SECOND AUTHOR NOTE! EVERYONE!

A/N: Okay, I so want more reviews, because I'm not sure anyone liked chapter three! So if you like it... REVIEW... If you don't like it... REVEIW! is that clear? Okay, I hope so, because I just love reviews. I already have chapter five written, so once you reveiw, I will post it, in the mean time, I'm going to work on chapter six and seven :)

Peace

Crazy Lily

Late A/N:(date-8/27/05) Okay, I've had a lot of reviews from this chapter. William... My time line, when I was 11 I was going into sevent grade, not fifth. So that would make 8th gradde in my book 2nd year. Thats what thats all about(my b-day was in november) So there's that tid bit... read on now