I'm baaaaack. I wish I had a good excuse for you guys as to why it took me a year to post the next chapter, but I don't. Sorry! Only one more chappie after this! THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED LAST TIME! Shout-outs will be in the next chapter. I know I've made you all wait a heinously long time, so here ya are!

Last chapter: Little did they know that she was actually hinting to them that/gasp/ everyone's favorite friend Norrington had just docked in Tortuga and was sending his little redcoat minions out to look for his beloved Mary Ann. He had arrived in Antigua a short while after they left and his mother made up some idiotic story about someone hearing them talk about going to Guatalupe and than to Tortuga, so he had been hot on their trail.

"I think it's abou' time fer a celebration, mates! Drinks all around!" Jack yelled and an excited roar of agreement rang out from the crew. He was quite proud that they had come this far and felt that the final task couldn't be that difficult.

The crew scrambled to the bar to drown themselves in any alcohol they could get their hands on while Jack and Mary Ann took a seat at a nearby table to watch the chaos.

After only a few drinks, the noise in the bar was positively deafening. Mary Ann was trying to keep a inebriated Jack's hands from wandering, Tiffany had consumed a bit more than "a few drinks" and was flirting loudly with Will, Lexie was pouting because she didn't have a boy-toy to play with, and Gibbs found himself in a rather interesting predicament.

"You agreed that if you lost, you'd do it, so come on out!" Ana Maria yelled to Gibbs through the door of an adjoining room.

Now is the time for me to warn anyone taking any heart medications, overactive imaginations, or liver conditions to skip over the following part.

Gibbs burst through the door, utterly smashed, wearing a black corset with matching panties. Yes, panties. Not only was he wearing panties, but also fishnets and atrocious black heels. All previous noise in the bar died immediately and everyone gaped at the drunken, giggling, old man. His face was red and he looked as if he was having the time of his life.

"MY EYES!" Yelled an unfortunate bystander as he lunged the fire-poker into his eyeballs to try and kill previous image.

"He must have fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!" Shouted another bystander as he tried to dig his eyes out with a dirty spork, "It should be illegal for him to show that much skin!"

"WHAT IS THAT SMELL!" Ana Maria choked out. She immediately regretted having EVER dared Gibbs to cross-dress, "It smells like the inside of a fake leg!"

Gibbs hastely kicked a suspicious-looking perfume bottle under the table and whistled innocently. There were several moments of awkward silence and Jack finally had the sense to smash an empty rum bottle over Gibbs' head and dump him outside, away from the horrified on-lookers.

"I need another drink." Jack announced and all noise resumed again.

Several drinks later

"Ok, Jack. Why don't you just come find me when you're sober... er, wait, that'll never happen, just come find me when you're less drunk." Mary Ann said after Jack had begun belting out Rod Stewart's 'Da Ya Think I'm Sexy' and wiggling his eyebrows in what he hoped was a sexy suggestive look at Mary Ann, but it really appeared that he was having eye spasms. With that, Mary Ann got up and stepped outside the bar for a breather.

Jack's POV

"Hey." Came a velvety female voice in Jack's ear. He couldn't help but smile as he turned to face the scantily clad Lexie (she'd removed a few layers of clothing).

"'Ello, luv. Wha' can I do fer ya?" He replied as she giggled and leaned forward to give him a better look at her… womanly attributes.

No! Stop! No' good! Don' look at 'er! Think abou' Mary Ann an' 'ow long ye've been tryin' ta woo 'er. She finally fancies ye, don' blow it! Ohhhh… ok, that feels awfully nice- NO, no, think about better things. Mary Ann… Mary Ann naked- NO, damn it, don't get turned on by the woman that ye fancy whilst another woman is on yer lap nibbling yer throat… which feels veeeeeeeery nice. DAMN IT, JUST PUSH 'ER OFF! JUST…Just… just… wha' was I thinkin' abou' jest now? Aw, who cares, this feels damn good!

The moment that those thoughts went through Jack's head, he found himself in a dark, damp swamp. He saw a flourish of movement in the corner of his eye so he turned and his gaze fell on Mary Ann.

Norrington's POV after Mary Ann stepped outside

After searching for such a long time, James was absolutely thrilled when he spotted Mary Ann through the crowd in Tortuga. She appeared to be conversing with a Brad Pitt lookalike, but after a minute she waved him away and turned to go back into the bar.

Not wanting to lose her again, James quickly followed her.

Back to Jack and the "present" time in the swamp

"Mary Ann!" He called, or at least he would have if his voice were working. He heard a gawd-awful cackle and he noticed Caddy a few feet from Mary Ann (who looked thoroughly confused (Mary Ann, not Caddy. Caddy knows damn well what she's doing!)).

"I knew you weren't as strong as you thought you were. You managed to pass every test I threw at you, yet you couldn't even pass the task that should have been easiest of all… staying faithful was just too hard for you." Caddy jeered and took a step closer to Mary Ann. She whipped out her wand and began playing with a lock of Mary Ann's hair with it. "Do you want to hear the best part, Sparrow? She passed! This pathetic, little, sad excuse for a human being was actually able to resist temptation, while you could not. I'd like to thank you so very much for allowing me to finish her off finally."

Without another word, she jabbed Mary Ann in the neck and a green ray emitted from it. Mary Ann winced and rolled into a ball. She then began shrinking and morphing grotesquely at an alarming rate. Jack looked on, horrified, but rooted to the spot.

After only about fifteen seconds, all that remained of Mary Ann was a tiny green frog, which hopped off into the darkness.

Caddy laughed gleefully and disappeared. Jack was filled with an impending sense of guilt and was finally able to speak. He called out to Mary Ann, but knew there wasn't much of a point. She had become a frog again and it was his fault. He sat down on a stump and bashed his head against a nearby tree.

"Stupid. Stupid blighter. Worthless piece o-"

"Ribbit"

Jack ceased his infliction of harm upon himself to briefly glance down at the frog in front of him.

"Ribbit"

Jack put away his disgust for frogs and swiftly bent down to lightly peck the frog's mouth. To Jack's dismay, nothing happened and the frog simply hopped away. In the distance, Jack noted that he could hear many other "ribbits" and he decided that he should fix what he'd broken.

So, with a determined look on his face, Jack began his search for every single frog in the surrounding area to, well, put it bluntly, make out with.

Sorry about the Gibbs bit. He's an awesome dude, but I've had way too much Rocky Horror soaked into my brain for me to function without it for more than an hour. Also, I'm thinking about writing Tiffany and Jack's back-story as a saga of its own. Let me know if you guys would be interested in reading it!

REVIEW! I really want to know how many people are still reading this! I won't post the last chapter (which is already typed, by the way) if no one is reading this! Sorry again for the loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong wait! I suck!