A/N: Woah it's been ages...lots of apologies! Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, except the character Jess!
If All Could be Told
Chapter 8: Laughter, Longing and a Serious Talk
It was Carter that awoke with a start. He kept as still as possible upon realising the way he had fallen asleep. Their bodies had become tangled in the familiar manner that always occurred when they slept closely together. As a couple they couldn't sleep without experiencing a closeness of some-kind. He felt his hand in Abby's as his long fingers easily stroked her knuckles. He brushed her unruly hair off of her face so that he could see her eyes. He watched for awhile as her lashes and lids sporadically flickered. She was dreaming. He hoped that it was something, happy and painless, to comfort her and lessen her worry. He held her contentedly, intoxicated as he had always been by her. She was so complex, and as he now knew had been through more than he could have ever imagined. He was comforted by the fact that he could help her; she was letting him in, by telling him, right? There was always the risk that she would close up again and not talk to him. He was worried for her, and for himself, as he wondered what tomorrow would bring. Suddenly, he was shaken out of his reverie. He glanced over to the clock that was the centre of the mantelpiece.Through a neon glow he could seethe digits: 23:00.
"Shit" Carter whispered out loud, he had a shift starting at 12, a twelve hour, graveyard shift. He'd had to make up for leaving his shift and chasing after Abby the previous day. He had phoned up the hospital to sort everything out and had landed himself this shift, he hadn't had much choice having to placate an angry Dr. Weaver and her scary crutch. Deciding that leaving Abby whilst she was asleep and in the emotional state she was in was not a good idea, he gently shook her awake.
"Abby, Abby...Abs"
"Ummmm" was the groan uttered from sleepy Abby. He smiled at this, watching asher eyes fluttered open.
"I've got a shift in an hour, I'm going to take a shower, I'm on till noon tomorrow...stay if you like" he tagged this hopeful statement on the end.
However, he was disappointed when she began to get up, "I'd better go too, y'know, do the shower and clean clothes thing myself... and to think about tomorrow" she added thoughtfully.
"Okay" He replied masking his disappointment well.
She motioned to grab her jacket that had rested on the radiator throughout the night, "It's still wet" She sighed.
Carter had already anticipated this and upon a quick search of his closet he had found a small jacket he'd kept since he was a teenager. Carter had always been slim, but as a teenager he had been lanky and skinny. Abby surveyed the garment with a smirk, "What?" Carter protested defensively.
"How did you ever fit into this, its tiny? And talk about eighties throwbacks on the catwalk. A shell suit jacket, very retro" She giggled.
"It Adidas, Abby" he said defensively. "And I've had it since I was sixteen…and back then, I was kind of skinny"
"Did it match your perm?" She mocked.
"Hey, you're the one modelling the complete John Carter wardrobe". It was true. Most of Abby's clothes were still sopping and she had gotten dressed in an old T-shirt of Carter's. Over the top she wore a Chicago Bears hooded top. The oversized garment swamping her petite frame, the sleeves had been rolled up several times to give her use of her hands.
"These are mine though" She replied petulantly, her hand playing with the cord of some tracksuit bottoms of hers Carter had still had buried at the back of his closet.
She accepted the coat; it would be freezing outside, now it was Carter's turn to laugh at her mismatched outfit. The sleeves of the jacket rolled past her fingers, the bottom settling well below her buttocks swamping her tiny frame.
"Hey, no fair, it's not like I have a choice." She whined.
"I just wish that I'd had a camera right now" At this, with a smile, she tapped him playfully on the arm. The expression on her face grew serious and she put her hands in the pocket of the jacket nervously, "John...?"
"Yes"
"You've done so much for me already, but..." he read her once more. She needed a friend to sit with her tomorrow morning before Jess showed up.
"I'll be there at 11:30"
"Oh, I forgot" She said sheepishly "no matter...your shift"
"I'll be there" he confirmed.
"John"
"Yes"
"Thank you…again...for everything"
She looked up to meet his gaze, instinctive love and affection led her to tiptoe and brush his cheek with her lips. Immediately aware of the implication, she pulled away, avoiding his gaze. She'd let her heart over-rule her head once more, "See you" She whispered quietly.
"Take care out there, its nearly 11:30."
Carter watched her leave, thoughts of love swimming around in his head. Sure, they were friends again but that wasn't enough, he wanted her back, issues and all. But now he had to be there for her, and his shift was now only 40 minutes away.
He entered the doors of County General about twenty minutes after he said goodbye to Abby. He was soon accosted by an exiting Susan. She nodded towards the lounge, her blonde hair a tangled mess that marked the end of a hectic shift. The dimly lit lounge was refuge from the neon hospital lights that made his eyes ache on entering through the automatic doors.
"How is she?" was her obvious question.
"As well as she can be under the circumstances, we talked about it a bit; she's been through so much Susan, So much all by herself."
"At least she's talking now, that's progress" She smiled kindly.
Carter's face darkened, his worry for Abby surfaced protectively, "How much do people know?"
"Just that Jess is Abby's daughter, and that Abby left work in a state yesterday afternoon. Frank and Jerry have been quite restrained, hell, maybe even concerned. Tongues haven't been wagging as much as usual. Everyone's worried really"
Carter's expression softened at this news, "I can't say anymore..."
"I know" Susan nodded understandingly. "Just let her know that we're here for her".
"I will"
Carter began to make his way over to the lounge when Susan spoke again calling after him, "Carter, how are you doing?"
"Okay, I think...but I miss her Susan, we're friends again, but it's not enough, the closeness but the distance is killing me"
Susan observed her friend, this was complex, Abby and Carter always had been. However, she knew both to care for each other deeply. From what she ad heard Abby and Carter had danced around each other long before her return to the ER. She had watched this herself, until the smallpox scare, but had watched her friends' bliss turn, to sour pain for both of then.
"Carter, does she know what you want?"
"Yea, I never wanted us to be apart in the first place"
"This is not what you're going to want to hear" Susan began breathing in heavily, "And I'm going to stoop so low as to litter my advice with cliché, you've got to give her time. This stuff with Jess, its probably resurfaced feelings that she never thought she would have to face. You know better than most how it's affecting her. You've got to be a friend; anything else right now has to be up to her."
Carter smiled slightly at her words, "I know all of this really, I just needed to hear it out loud, and from a slightly saner person than myself"
"Who's that then?" Susan joked, evoking a small but definite laugh from Carter.
"Thank you" Carter smiled genuinely, through his laughter.
"Just keep me posted, on the progress of my favourite are-they/aren't they couple, okay?"
"Okay"
"And take care of Abby, you know she comes across all strong, but she's just as soft on the inside as the rest of us" Her tone had become more serious.
"You've no idea" Carter said softly, casting his gaze in a faraway manner past her. Susan saw fatigue and sadness in his eyes as he said this, he wore his feelings on his sleeve. Completely the opposite to Abby Susan noted. She cared for them both and wanted whatever events that were coming to pass to reduce the pain for both of them. Carter escaped his daydream, the realities of his shift dawning on him, "Uh...Susan?" he had remembered something important, "Would you cover the last hour of my shift 11 till noon...I want to be with Abby, she's going to meet Jess"
He felt guilty asking, seeing the look of fatigue that washed across Susan's face, "No problem, I want to help Abby through this some way...and it's only an hour"
Carter smiled gratefully, "You're a star, thank you"
"I know...I don't do autographs though, so don't bother asking" she grinned
"Okay I won't...better go, Weaver's already mad at me – don't feed the flames... or something like that"
"Nah, We all know you're her favourite"
"Not if she catches me hiding out in here with you"
"Yeah, you're probably right...take care Carter, of the both of you" Susan put a comforting hand on his arm. Carter knew she was a diamond friend, any history they had just made their friendship stronger. Carter was often glad of Susan's presence in his life, not to mention, her endless fountain of sound advice. She smiled back at him once more before leaving him in alone in the lounge to his thoughts.
Thanks for reading...if you enjoyed, i'd love to know.