Chapter three: Changes

Kirsten sat on a stool next to the kitchen island staring at the note, "Call him, throw it away, call him, throw it away." Those words contradicted themselves in her mind. She took the final drink of her cherry wine, grabbed the note, and walked to the phone...which was close to the trash can. Her eyes darted from both the can, and the phone. "Oh this is ridiculous." She said as she reached for the phone.

Kirsten dialed the phone hesitantly, and finally heard his "Hello?" Carter said on the other end.

"Hey Carter...it's kirsten. I got your letter." Kirsten said

"Oh yeah, I'm really sorry to hear about Sandy, he was a good man."

"Thanks Carter."

"So...why did you call me?"

"I was wondering if maybe you would like to go out for a drink sometime?"

Seth was laying on the grass next to the sidewalk in the pouring rain, someone walked by and threw a dollar at him, mistaking him for a homeless man. He thought maybe he could drown himself in the rain, so he opened his mouth, and let the drops fall in. He wished Ryan was there, but he was sure he had his own problems...He had no idea. Summer came walking over to him, and stood over him.

"Seth, get off of the ground, you're depressing me. Everytime I look out the window, you're laying there."

"Shut the blinds then Summer." Seth said spitting out the rain water.

"Why are you doing this?" Summer said kneeling down next to him.

"Because without you, I don't know if I could go on."

"So you're going to lay on the sidewalk for the rest of your life?" Summer said pulling a few stray hairs from in front of her eyes.

"Maybe...if you want me to leave, I'll leave Summer...Whatever you want." Seth said leaving her a chance to make things right.

"I want you to go home Seth...This isn't healthy for you" Summer said rubbing his cheek, he tried to kiss her, but she turned her face away from him. He kissed her on the cheek, stood up and walked away, leaving her on her knees. "What am I doing to myself..." Summer said as Seth was out of her vision.

Ryan stood in shock as he saw Theresa passing a football around with her son, who looked just like Ryan did at his age.

"Oh my god..." Marissa said as she rubbed Ryan's shoulders, but he was gone, all his thoughts, and feelings...gone.

He soon walked towards them, and Theresa's face mirrored Ryan's as she saw him.

"Please tell me this is some sort of mix-up...you're babysitting right?...no, no, you adopted right?" Ryan said trying to justify the feelings he so badly wanted to be real. He then walked away, and yelled at the top of his lungs on the beach. He fell to his knees, and punched the dead sand. The boy had a questioned look on his face, but soon figured it out.

"He's my dad, isn't he?" the boy said.

"Yeah Jake, he's your father." Theresa said while looking at her mother, who moved to hawaii, and invited Theresa there.

Marissa walked to Ryan, and sat next to him, and tried to comfort him the best she could, but his eyes were almost on fire with sadness, and anger. She tried to get him to calm down, but he soon fell forward, and buried his head in the sand.

Theresa was crying, and her son Jake, was hugging her, Her mother just looked on sadly. Theresa then walked over to Ryan, and got him to lift his head from the sand.

"Ryan, I'm so sorry. I couldn't tell you, you had to go back to Newport."

"Don't talk to me... ever again." He said as he walked away from all of them, rubbing the sand from his eyes. Marissa, and Theresa looked at each other, then Marissa ran after Ryan.

"Doesn't dad like you?" Jake said kneeling next to his mother.

"Not anymore sweety..." Theresa said rubbing the blonde haired boy's cheek.

Ryan had found solice in a bar, and started to chug down tequila shots. Ryan had promised not to drink anymore after Kirsten's incident at the Cohen house, but the situation called for alcohol. Marissa had followed Ryan from a distance, and entered the seedy-looking bar. She sat next to him and squeezed his arm, which caused him to look over at her. Her eyes were full of worry for him, and he knew it was sincere. He kissed her because he knew she never minded the taste of alcohol on his lips. "I'm guessing this isn't how you wanted things to turn out huh?" She asked him between soft kisses.

"I'm so sorry... I'm so damn sorry."

"For what?" Marissa asked rubbing his stubble covered cheek.

"If I had never slept with her, we could be happy right now."

"Ry, don't be sorry for that. You never wanted this, I know...it's just gonna different now."

"How so?" Ryan asked while rubbing Marissa's hand with his.

"Well... maybe Theresa will want you to stay out of it , and we won't have to change things."

"No...I made her a promise that I would help her raise the kid...but she lied to me...but don't you think I should stick to my word." Ryan asked in a frail, and uncertain tone.

"No, after all these years, she should have told you. Ryan, this isn't your burden anymore."

"Why not? B..because I haven't been there? I was lied to?"

"Exactly Ryan!"

"No...I always said I didn't want this kid to grow up like me...but he did. I let him down, and I need to make it up to him."

"How, by giving up your life? Ryan, you don't deserve this" Marissa said in a plea.

"Neither does the kid." Ryan said as he layed 10 bucks on the bar table, and walked away, leaving Marissa crying.