Chapter Eighteen – Philip In Italy Series (Final Part): Philip's Reaction
Throughout the duration of the ride back to their hotel, Philip had said nothing. He still had not spoken when they arrived in the hotel. But as they went to their rooms he looked even more pensive. So instead of going to his own room, he followed Philip to his.
"Philip, talk to me, you look like you need–––," he started but never got the chance to finish his statement as Philip's quiet voice interrupted him.
"You know when Chloe was released from the hospital, she went down to the baby nursery. She was still there watching them when I arrived to pick her up. She just stood there staring at them." He said seeming to replay the incident in his head as he told the story. "When I walked up to her she turned around, she told me that she always wondered what a child of ours might be like. You know someone with my blonde hair, dimples and her eyes. A part of both of us to love unconditionally the best of both of us. I remember telling her that one day we would have that. One day, it wouldn't just be us, one day we would have a child of our own." He chuckled a sarcastic laugh. "Little did we know that we had a child that our son, Jarod was stolen from us."
"Philip, man, don't beat yourself up over this. You had no way of knowing what happened." Shawn said but it fell on deaf ears, Philip continued talking as if Shawn had not spoken.
"You want to know the real kicker …Chloe was going to name our child Jarod, she said, to me plain as day, we ever had a boy she wanted to name him Jarod. When I asked her why she told me she used to watch a television show about a guy named Jarod who spent his life searching for his family. And while he did that he brought other families together. But, our son wouldn't have to do that because we would be there for him. Humph, you see how well that turned out." He took a deep breath and turned to go to the mini-bar to get himself a drink. After taking out a glass he poured himself a glass of scotch and saluted his reflection in the mirror adjacent from the bar. "Looks, like I've done it again for the thousandth unprecedented time. I've managed to hurt Chloe, but this time I scored the ultimate blow I got a child taken away from her in the process. Wait to go K-man!" He saluted himself sardonically and downed the glass of scotch in one gulp.
Shawn didn't understand what was going on, Philip was acting like he was somehow responsible for his child being taken from him. "Philip what happened isn't your fault you know that right? You couldn't possibly have known what was going to happen." Shawn told him but he just shook his head in response.
"No, no you don't understand. It is my fault."
"So make me understand, explain it to me. Tell me how this is your fault when you had nothing to do with that doctor taking advantage of Chloe when she was vulnerable. You didn't do that."
"No but I am the reason that she was in the hospital in the first place. I was the reason she got into the accident, I allowed our son to be taken from us." He went and sat down on the couch and held his head in his hands before looking up. "We had gotten into a fight about … hell I don't even remember what the fight was about. But, it doesn't matter. The outcome of the argument was that Chloe left and went for a walk. I was so angry that I didn't even bother to go after her. But, I watched her leave the villa, I was watching her walk down the street when a car lost control out of nowhere and hit her. The driver was trying to stop his sons from fighting in the backseat he didn't see Chloe. Can't you see that if I hadn't of gotten into the fight with her in the first place than she wouldn't have gone for the walk and got hit. It's my fault. My fault." Before Shawn could even respond there was a knock at the door.
Philip clearly wasn't in the right frame of mind to answer the door so he did. Shawn walked to the door and took one last glance at Philip he opened the door. "Brady, what the hell are you doing here?" He asked surprised to see the tall blonde man enter the hotel room.
"I came to get you guys, it's time you returned home." He answered and then he noticed Philip sitting on the couch looking completely scattered. "What happened? Did you find out the who Jarod's father was?"
"Jarod is Philip's son. There is no doubt about it." Shawn responded.
Brady walked over to Philip and grabbed his hand to shake it. "Man that's great. You're instincts were right on the money."
"Yeah, um …they were. Jarod is my son in every way, shape or form. And I'm the reason he was missing in the first place." He did the 'man's handshake halfheartedly as he stood up. "Look, I need to go pack my bag." Philip said then quietly escaped to his bedroom.
Brady was frowning. "What's up with him? I thought he would be happy not acting all weird. What makes him think any of what happened is his fault?"
"Sit down I'll tell you what happened. It's so off the wall that you probably won't even believe it." Shawn said as he then proceeded to inform Brady of what he and Philip had learned about Jarod's paternity.
~*~*~*~*~*~@~*~*~*~*~*~
About twenty minutes later when Philip arrived back in the room with his bag, Brady and Shawn were waiting for him. They both watched him rather cautiously.
"What, I've got my bag packed and I'm ready to go. All I want to do is go home and see my wife and kids." Philip answered throwing his bag to the floor.
Shawn and Brady looked towards each other. "Yeah, Right. I'm going down to see if the car is here." Shawn said shooting Brady, a look to go talk with Philip. Brady nodded in response and Shawn left. Philip went to the bar and fixed himself another drink leaving Brady to fend for himself.
"Philip can we talk?"
"Brady, I really don't feel much like talking. I'd rather just––," Brady interrupted him.
"Fine that's okay because I really didn't want you to talk anyway. I want you to listen to me. Shawn told me what happened with Jarod. And I want you to know it's not your fault. You have no control over what other people do. Regardless of how Chloe ended up in that hospital, it's not your fault that someone took advantage of her."
"Are you done?"
"Yes, for now."
"Good, cause now I will tell you a few things. It doesn't matter what you or Shawn think. Because I know it was my fault and when I tell Chloe she'll know it too. I'm her husband; it's my responsibility to protect her. When she needed my protection the most I wasn't there for her, I failed her. I know I have and nothing you can say will change the facts or make me think anything other than what I do." He sipped from his drink. "I don't need you getting involved in my personal business."
Brady couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Philip, you involved me in your personal business the minute you asked me to cover for you. Besides, that I am your family and I wouldn't want you credit for some … some criminal robbing you of your child. Sure, you've made mistakes but that was in the past and you've always learned from them. Chloe won't blame you for anything. If anything she will be angry that you even have the nerve to take credit for this. IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT!" He walked over to Philip and accentuated his point by poking him in the chest with each word. "You need to get that through your head before you go home to your wife because she needs you to be mentally stable."
"How do you know what my wife needs? What makes you think you know her better than I do?"
"Philip, I'm not saying I know Chloe better than you. Because let's face it, I don't. If I had I probably wouldn't have questioned the validity of your relationship with her in high school. But, I know she won't blame you. She will be mad as hell but not at you, at the people who took Jarod from you. You didn't violate her body in the hospital and take he-her your child away from the both of you. You had nothing to do with that. So don't feed me your its-my-fault-I'm responsible bullshit because I'm not buying it and neither will she." He moved away from Philip to sit down across from him. "Man, you've got too much going on let this get to you. All I'm trying to say is that you need to deal with it. Get over that feeling of guilt, you don't need it nor do you deserve it." Brady calmly told Philip.
"Look I hear what you're saying, I do. But, it's a little bit harder for me to deal with this at the moment and I need to deal with this in my own way." Philip answered as the door opened and Shawn walked in.
Shawn didn't say anything immediately because he sensed some tension in the room. From the look on Brady's face he figured it had something to do with his talk with Philip. He was surprised by what happened next.
"Shawn man, I want to thank you for coming down with me. You have no idea how much I appreciate it."
"Hey, you don't have to thank me. I know you would have done the same for me. Remember the red ruby and Paul … you've helped me out a lot of times. There is no need to thank me for that because I'm sure it won't be the last time. The car is waiting we should go." He gestured toward the door.
Philip drank what was left in his glass and placed it back on the mini bar. Then walked around and grabbed his bag. "Let's go then. The sooner I get home the better." He walked out of the hotel room leaving Shawn and Brady to follow him.
Shawn looked at Brady. "He seems a bit better, like he finally figured out that what happened wasn't his fault."
"I don't know. When we were talking he didn't seem like he was in any better shape. But, I think he still might blame himself, it'll take time for him to realize what happened wasn't his fault. He said all he needs is time to deal with it in his own way. So I guess time will tell." Brady answered honestly not know what to make of Philip somewhat sudden shift of behavior.
"Well, I think we both know how that is… I suppose we'll just have to wait until we get to Salem to see what happens." Shawn walked out of the hotel with Brady and locked the door. They went to the elevator.
"So tell me has time helped you? Are you ready to go home and deal?"
At first Shawn didn't know how to respond to the question. But, after a few minutes he knew the answer. "I am ready to go back and work through this with Belle. Why do you ask?"
"Shawn let's just say you should be happy that I took into account the JT situation was devastating news to you. You hurt Belle by leaving her to come here. If it wasn't for the seriousness of the JT secret I would have come after and beat you within an inch of your life. Belle, is completely off-skelter and on top of that she isn't talking to anyone but Mimi and Marlena."
"What about Chloe?"
"Oh well that's another story. Let's just say they aren't speaking terms right now. Mimi and I have kind of been running as a go-between for them."
"That's odd. Do you know what happened?" Shawn asked as the elevator opened and they walked out to the car.
"I'll tell both of you on the way there. There are some things that both of you need to know." Brady replied as he got into the car with Shawn.
Within minutes the men all related by Kiriakis blood were on their way back home to Salem, to their children, their wives, and finally back to their lives.