sorry it took so longer. here it is enjoy.

Jack lay outstretched on his couch with a beer and a creased and ruffled letter. He had read over this letter many times since he had been released from Dr Fraiser's infirmary a few days ago. He had been trying to find some sort of hidden message amongst her words. Some sort evidence that would prove Carter wasn't suicidal, but the short letter had none. The words of this letter were familiar, words he had heard before and were burned into his memory. They were the words she had used while proving to Anise and the lie detector that she wasn't an unknowing assassin. He had used similar words that day 'I care about her, a lot more than I should'. The words echoed in his mind.

"I should have been placed under suicide watch" he muttered to himself as he remembered his excuse 'I would rather die than lose her' he had said while the woman he was talking about watched and absorbed every word.

Jack cursed at the sound of a car approaching the house and disturbing his thoughts. He tucked the letter in his jacket pocket and opened the door for Daniel and his lectures. To his surprise he found Carter walking up to him and no sign of Daniel.

"Pull the short straw" Jack smirked and Carter couldn't help but smile as she remembered how Daniel had told Jack that he only came to see him because he had come up short when they pulled straws. He held the door open for her as she walked in and he noticed her outfit and couldn't help giving her hell over the heels, white knee length trail skirt and long sleeved, off the shoulder, sky blue shirt.

"What's with the get up?" he asked flicking the flared sleeves of the shirt

"Dr Clifford's idea, he thinks I need to distance myself from my work and modify my military appearance. He thinks I need more colour in my life: I have colour" she argued

"Yeah, I've seen your house" he smirked and she glared at him

"What's wrong with my house?"

"Nothing, you just have those plates everywhere" he explained and she rolled her eyes at him and sat down on the couch on his right

"Major" he warned and she looked up at him with a confused look "your attitude, you have been acting strange ever since Harrison shot himself" he explained and Carter shuddered at the casual mention of the incident.

"What about YOUR attitude colonel? Don't think I'm the only one effected. We have both been acting strange and I'm the only one they put on suicide watch" she snapped

"For crying out loud Carter you sound like a kid. What have I done that's so strange?"

"Well for starters you nearly killed us both the other night. Why were you driving that fast?" she asked in a more reasonable tone

"I had just heard you were on suicide watch, I was worried" he retaliated not picking up on the softer tone

"You were coming to stop me from shooting myself? Do you really think I would try to kill myself while I was under surveillance" she asked half joking and Jack went dead silent and stared at her

" Stop acting like this Carter" he asked very softly and she shuffled forward and looked directly in his eyes

"Its not that easy" she told him and he dropped his head down frustrated. When he looked up again she could see the emotion creeping in

"You know how I feel," he finally said as he let out the air in his lungs. Carter didn't say anything; she knew what he meant. She placed her hand against his cheek and could see he held his breath. She smiled and flicked her fingers making her hand slap his cheek. He stared at her amazed and she started laughing.

"Your nuts" he shook his head at her and before he could say any thing else she had brought her lips to his and started kissing him. He reacted by holding her face and taking the kiss deeper but quickly snapped out of it.

"We can't do this," he said pulling away "I'm your CO Carter. Go home, this is a mistake"

"Damn it sir, you've broken the rules on countless occasions but you use them as an excuse. Why cant you just let yourself be happy?" she yelled

"Because you were better off before you met me" he snapped back

"What the hell does that mean?" Jack paused and took out the letter from his jacket pocket

"It means I know," he said handing her the envelope. She dropped like it was toxic and pushed away.

"You had no right reading that"

"When I heard you were on suicide watch, I had to know why so I broke into Dr Clifford's office and read…"

"You weren't supposed to read it and you had no right" she snapped and went to run. Jack got up and blocked her way

"Sam wait" he said stopping her. She went frigid at the sound of her name. She dropped herself in his arms and found herself crying

"You weren't supposed to see it, you weren't supposed to know" she stuttered "I'm not suicidal; when I said I would rather kill myself then be without you, I meant that I felt the same way you did. You said you would rather die than lose me. I'm not suicidal"

"Sam"

"I cant live without you, that's all a meant by it"

"Sam, Sam I know" he told her as he lifted her chin up so he could see her eyes "I know, but they didn't hear me say that. They don't know" he said wiping the tears off her cheeks and brushing the few short, stray hairs away from her eyes "it'll be ok though" he reassured her by kissing her forehead and holding her close. "Just give it time and it'll be ok" he told her dazed and lost in his thoughts "everything will be ok" he muttered in a slight trance

"Are you alright?" Carter asked cautiously and Jack snapped out of his thoughts and brought his attention back to her and her worried look. He took a deep breath before he would reply and she waited concerned

"Um…" he muttered as he started breathing normally. He smiled in reassurance at her and ran his finger tips through the small hairs at the back of her neck as he admired her. She smiled at him and lightly brushed her lips against his. When she went to pull away as she regained her composure, he held her close as he took the light kiss much further. He lowered her to the couch as their hands wandered and searched whilst they kissed. As jack pushed up the white trail skirt he stopped and pulled away from her.

"We can't do this," he said getting up and pulling her up with him

"Jack?" she asked confused and Jack smiled at her use of his name. He took her in his arms and softly kissed her

"We can do this, here" he grinned and Sam smiled back

"Bad knees" she laughed understanding perfectly and following him as he led her off tohis bedroom.