By Krabby Patties
T
Humor/Romance/Drama
A Robin and Starfire fic
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Disclaimer: If disclaimers were people, I'd give 'em all black eyes and tell them how much I hate them. Then I'd cut all their limbs off and wave them around their faces. Then I'd collect the blood dripping from their stubs and force them to drink it. With a straw! Next, I'd tie their hair to the ceiling and watch them dangle in pain. And then when all their hair is pulled out, I'd spit-clean their bald heads. Then I'd hit 'em a couple times with a giant waffle stick. And then I'd bring in all my friends and we can all kick 'em around. Lastly, and most evilly, I'd stick 'em all in separate dark, damp rooms where they can sit their and hope for death to come quicker. MUAHAHAHAHAHA! I do not own Teen Titans. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
(That disclaimer is ©©©©©©)
Dedication: NumbuhZero because you wrote the longest review ever!
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To all reviewers: No time to make a comment to everyone. Sorry. Well I LOVE YOU ALL! And don't worry the story is actually going somewhere!
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A/N: You are going to love this chapter! I put lots of humor in it to make up for humor I've been lacking. Gosh, this chapter rocks so much. It's seven pages long. YAY!
I just came back from Star Wars: Episode Three: The Revenge of the Sith! THAT MOVIE ROCKED! My favorite part is when Anakin is all limb-less and burning up! And I like how Pah-whats-her-face dies cuz she's a main character!
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Starfire knocked on the door.
" Don't come in! I'm changing!"
Starfire laughed. She said, "No you are not," and opened the door…
Only to see Robin standing there…
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Chapter 4: Smooth Criminals
Starfire laughed. She said, "No you are not," and opened the door…
Only to see Robin standing there…
… making out with some girl!
JUST KIDDING! Just kidding! Jeez!
That's not what she really saw! This is what she really saw:
Only to see Robin standing there…
… NAKED! His uniform lay on floor beside him.
Starfire screamed but muffled it with her hand. Then she swiftly slapped her hands over her eyes.
" Oh, Robin, I'm sorry! I thought you were merely joking!"
She backed out the door and closed it. She leaned her back up against the door and thought about how much Robin hated her now. Robin threw on a pair of black boxers and quickly opened the door, only to find Starfire lying there in his arms, looking up at him.
" Hi," Robin said meekly.
Starfire jumped up. "Do you hate me? I understand if you do. "
" It's alright! I wasn't offended or anything! And I know you didn't mean to."
" Yes, but I should have knocked. That is a strict violation of your—"
" Starfire, just shut up and go to bed," Robin said, smiling.
Starfire smiled. "As you wish, master!" Starfire said, mock bowing. "Good night, Robin." She waved and walked to her room.
" Night."
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Somewhere in Raven's room-
ZZZZZZZzzzzzz
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Back in Robin's Room-
" Alright," Robin said, looking at the digital clock on his nightstand blinking 3:04 AM. "I've got four hours."
Robin was fully clothed now, wearing a new outfit. It consisted of a black wifebeeter thing (like Johnny Rancid's), tight black leather pants, his normal old mask, and the wicked awesome steel-toed boots. ((A/N: I want a pair like his really badly!))
Robin grabbed his gold-pocketed belt from the floor and clipped it around his waist. He sighed. It was going to be a long night.
Robin quietly opened the door and headed for the garage. Once he was there he grabbed a helmet and his motorcycle and started it up. Following the secret underground passage way under the sea, he finally ended up on the other side. Robin was just about to head off but his communicator started beeping. He turned off the bike and removed his helmet from his head. Then he took the device from his belt pocket.
' Damn! Why did I bring this!' he thought as he opened it up. Starfire was on the screen
" Starfire?"
Starfire's background showed she was located on the roof of the tower.
" Yes it is I."
" What's the problem?"
" There is no problem. I only wanted to say that I will be joining you shortly," Starfire said, innocently.
" I'm going to steal the stuff alone!"
" Of course you are! And I'm coming with you!" Starfire closed her communicator and dived down toward the water.
Robin watched Starfire and yelled, "Star, you can't swim!" but saw that she pulled up just before she hit the water and flew toward him. "Right."
The Boy Wonder realized there was no way he was going to stop Starfire and just put his communicator back in it's space in the belt. Once Starfire had landed next to him he handed her his helmet.
" Hop on."
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Robin stopped in front of the empty Jump City Mall. The ride was quick but to Robin, it was an eternity. I mean who doesn't want some hot alien chick holding on to you for dear life? ((A/N: Not me! But whatever.))
Starfire removed the helmet and handed it to Robin. "Robin, what are we doing here?"
Robin hopped off the bike and tried acting like a gentlemen by helping Starfire down. "Well, you can't go waking around in your uniform. People will know you're a Teen Titan! So we're gonna get you some clothes."
" But Robin! The mall of shopping is closed!"
" I know."
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" Oh Robin! Is this not the most glorious dress you have seen!"
Yeah, they snuck into to the mall. Yeah, using a little bit of technology they unlocked doors. Hell yeah, they knocked out all the security guards and disabled all the cameras. So the mall was pretty much theirs. They could take what ever they wanted. But you and I both know they weren't that greedy. Or are they…
" May I get this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this! Pleeease!" Starfire spat out, shoving clothes in Robin's face.
Robin stood there with his arms folded across his chest. "Star, you realize this isn't some shopping spree. We just need to get you some black clothes."
Starfire frowned a bit. "Of course. I am sorry. I just got carried away." Starfire slouched off to put all the clothes back.
When she returned to Robin offered to help her look for what she needed.
" What size shirt do you wear Starfire!" Robin yelled from across the Juniors' section.
" Small!" Starfire yelled back.
Robin browsed through the racks of clothes looking for a black wifebeeter, identical to his own. He spotted a couple shirts he'd like to see Starfire wear. He found pink, orange, blue, green, and purple wifebeeters but couldn't find black. Picking out a small sized purple wifebeeter, Robin headed over to where Starfire was searching for black leather pants.
" This was all I could find," Robin announced, holding up the purple shirt.
" Oh, it is glorious! But, I have not located the black pants yet."
" They probably won't be in this store. Let's go over to 'Heated Topic'. They might have some there." Robin carefully pulled off the sensor thing with ink in it from the wifebeeter and threw it in the trash behind the service desk.
In 'Heated Topic' Starfire said she felt a little uncomfortable at the theme of the place. It was a gothic people kinda store. ((A/N: I gots no other way to explain it…))
Robin pointed to some black clothes. "Let's check over there."
Once they started searching Robin asked, "What size pants do you wear?"
" Seven."
" Alright. Six," Robin said starting to browse.
" No. I said seven," Starfire said.
" I know."
" Then why did you say six?"
" If you wear size seven then we need six."
Starfire made a very confused a face. "If I wear seven, should I not get a seven?"
" Nooo. Six."
" Umm, okay…"
After many long seconds of searching, "Aha! I got it!" Robin yelled holding a pair of size six, black leather pants.
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Cyborg's Room-
……… Oh! Right! ZZZZZZZZzzzzzz
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Back with Robin and Starfire-
" Should I try the clothes on now?"
" Yeah but in a different store. I don't think the have a changing room in here."
Back in the first store-
" Robin!" Starfire yelled. "I think that the pants may be too tight!"
" Lemme see."
Out of the dressing room walks Starfire, basking in all her glorious beauty and what have you. ((A/N: What have you! LOL! My assistant principal says that all the time! When we have assemblies and stuff I count how many times he says it! I mean, who says that!)) Robin's eyes popped out of his sockets and his jaw broke off.
" I think you should pick your mouth, Robin," Starfire said, pointing to the lower half of Robin's jaw.
" You're right." Robin said. ((A/N: I don't know how he said it without half of his mouth! He just…did!)) Robin bent down to pick up his jaw but as soon as he came back up and connected his jaw, his mouth hung open just as low.
" Umm, does this mean they are too small?" Starfire asked innocently.
" Yeeeaah…" Drool fell out of Robin's mouth but he quickly snapped out of it. "I mean no! You—they look great!" Robin mentally slapped himself for being such a retard.
" You really think so!" Starfire said examining herself.
" Yeah. Now, come on! We gotta go!" Robin pulled out his communicator and checked the time. It was 4:36 AM. "We've got one hour and thirty minutes left! We have to hurry! And remember to take the tags off!"
Robin ran out the door but stopped to see that Starfire was struggling with the tags.
" Ugh. Lemme help," Robin said once we walked over. He pulled the tags off in one swift motion and threw them to the floor. "Come on!"
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Somewhere in Beast Boy's room-
ZZZZZZzzzzzz "Tofuuuuuuu" ZZZZZzzzzzz
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There's an odd fellow named Bob Whitzskinshinninniningheimerfurblehowdydoodahpoopy. Lots of people made fun of his name, so on checks and letters he wrote Francis Whitzskinshinninniningheimerfurblehowdydoodahpoopy. So now everyone knows him as Francis Whitzskinshinninniningheimerfurblehowdydoodahpoopy. No one knows why he did that, but he did.
Now, Francis is odd. He likes to play golf. But he plays golf with cow eyes as balls and whale bones as clubs. He always started at hole eighteen and went backwards. He always skipped hole number four not because it was too hard but because four is the only number that has the same amount of letters in its name as its mathematical value. No one knows why he cares so much, but he does.
Francis always eats pizza sideways. No one knows how he stuffs the pizza in his mouth in less than two seconds, but he does.
Francis only watches the movie Old Yeller. He doesn't watch anything else. Not even the news. He cries every single time he watches Old Yeller but it is still the only thing he uses the TV for. No one knows why he loves Old Yeller, but he does.
Francis keeps fake breasts on the kitchen table. You know, the gooey things you put on to make your breasts look bigger. Well he keeps them on the table. He named the left imposter Annabel and the right one Jan. Sometimes Francis removes all his clothes and puts Speedos on. Then he puts the fake boobs directly to his buttocks and dances around. No one knows why he does this, but he does.
At night when Francis becomes bored, ((A/N: How can anyone become bored when they get to dance around with fake boobs on their butt, I will never know…)) he takes his pet mouse, Kitty, and licks it. He just continuously licks it. No one knows why he must lick a mouse, but he does.
Just about the only thing significant about Francis is the company he owns and that he's rich. Almost as rich as Bill Fence. ((A/N: You get it! Bill Gates; Bill Fence!)) The company is called Almost as Rich as Bill Fence and they make tacks specially designed to be put on the bottom of your shoes. But they also make something else. An illegal substance. The most illegal-est thing to ever to be made illegal:
Xynothium
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Robin stopped his bike in the woods behind a large modern building. "Here we are. JCPI. Also known as Jump City Polytechnic Institute. Also know as JCPI. Also known as our destination."
Starfire jumped off the bike in joy. "Yay! Let us enter!"
" No. I've got to meet someone first…….." Robin took a deep breath and said in a loud voice,
" A flea and a fly in a flue.
Were caught so what could they do?
Said the fly, 'Let us flee.'
' Let us fly,' said they flea.
So they flew threw a flaw in the flue."
Starfire stared at Robin like he was an obese man that got high off of Pepsi.
" What! It's just a signal!" Robin said in defense.
And out of the shadows walked Spiderman. Robin walked over to him and shook his hand.
" Yo waddup man?"
" Nothing, Boy Wonder."
" Well see you later."
" Okay."
" Bye."
" Adios." And Spiderman walked off into the shadows.
Starfire stared at Robin like he was a baboon wearing a thong.
" What! Must you stare at me like that all day!"
" Sorry."
" Well let's go."
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A/N: Was that chapter good, or was it good!
Did you get the LOTR quote! Send me a review containing the REAL quote directly from the movie to see if you got it right. The first couple people (3 I guess) will get special prizes! Yay! They will be like graphics like a desktop wallpaper or icons or something else. Oh I know! How 'bout a copy of the ninjas I traced for you to print out and keep forever!
The story about Bob/Francis Whitzskinshinninniningheimerfurblehowdydoodahpoopy is sooo copyrighted it's not even funnah.
Also I would like to mention I DO NOT OWN SPIDERMAN OR THE LIMERICK (the poem thing with the fly and flea)! I got the limerick online.
Well, alrighty then. Time to go start on the next chapter! Heeh!
Later days! Until next chapter,
ЖЯдβБΨ ۹Ǻ†ŧỊ€ی™
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