From The Ashes Comes A New Beginning
Marissa's eyes remained completely dry as his coffin was lowered into the ground. The people surrounding her would simply think that she was holding back her for now, and all of her emotion would come pouring out later, when she was alone. These were people to whom appearances meant everything, and they would never believe in public breakdowns. They assumed that she wouldn't either.
They were wrong about her, though, on the count of her holding back her emotion. She had no tears to cry for him. She was only here out of obligation. He may have been her husband, but that was in name only. She couldn't remember a time when she'd felt the way for him, that as his wife, she should have. It would be strange not having him around anymore, but she wouldn't miss him, exactly.
Their relationship had been, well, Summer's word for it was 'combustible." In the last few years, they'd barely talked to each other. When they did talk, it would be to argue. She wasn't sure why she had let her life continue that way, knowing that when she wasn't there he was bringing other women home to their bed, but she just couldn't seem to break away from him. Maybe it was because when she had tried to leave, he had always made her feel intensely guilty.
Then this had happened, and all she felt was a twinge of sadness. The same way she'd feel if it had happened to someone she barely knew. She had loved him once, but that was so long ago it was almost like she'd forgotten what it felt like. He'd been shot through the heart, and Marissa thought that to be kind of ironic considering she'd often questioned whether her even had a heart.
Summer was looking at her now, concern evident in her eyes, but Marissa knew that Summer realised that it hadn't been working between them for a long time, and that she wouldn't feel broken the way other people in this situation would.
Of all the people gathered here, on a day that seemed to bright for a funeral, Marissa was the one who seemed the least concerned by what had happened. It made her feel guilty, and she realised that he was still making her feel the same way he did when he was alive.
Glancing up to look across the crowd of people, many of whom she'd never met, her eyes were met by the sparkling blue gaze of a blonde girl. She remembered seeing her somewhere before…right, she was Ryan's cousin. They never been introduced, though, and Marissa didn't know her name. She'd never appeared to like Ryan very much, though, from what Marissa had seen of their interactions. She'd always seen them from a distance, so she could be wrong, but it seemed like the only reason the girl would be here would be out of obligation, just like her.
She smiled sympathetically at Marissa, the sunlight making her teeth gleam white. Her smile transformed her whole face, and Marissa couldn't help but to smile back at her. She wished she knew the girl's name.
As Marissa was leaving, thinking she was the last to leave, she felt a gentle hand on her arm. She turned around suddenly, having been startled. When she looked up, she saw the girl from earlier.
" I'm sorry about Ryan," she said, looking into Marissa's eyes.
Marissa gave her a half-smile, saying,
" Thanks, but you've got to admit he kind of had that coming."
The girl seemed slightly surprised, but clearly deciding that, judging by Marissa's reaction, it was safe to joke with her, she said,
" So you're the one who killed him."
" Nah. I just hired someone to do it for me. I didn't want to get blood on my clothes," Marissa replied, a deadly serious expression on her face.
Seeing the shocked expression on the girl's face, Marissa laughed lightly.
" Relax, I'm just kidding. Although, if someone hadn't beaten me to it…."
The girl looked amused for a second, before her expression became more serious.
" We shouldn't be talking about him this way."
" I know," Marissa sighed.
" I thought you'd be more upset about this."
" Well, he wasn't exactly the easiest person in the world to get along with. Besides, it's easier if I think of things this way. Anyway, from what I recall, he wasn't exactly your favourite person. I wouldn't have expected to see you here."
" You got that right. But I'm here because, even if we didn't really get along very well, he was family. I'm not surprised that he died the way he did though, he's pissed off a lot of people in the last few years."
They continued to walk in silence for a moment, before the girl said,
" Hey Marissa?"
" Yeah? Actually wait, I don't think that's fair. You know my name but you never told me yours."
" Well I like to be mysterious," she said, before holding out a hand for Marissa to shake, saying,
" I'm Alex."
Marissa took the offered hand. Alex's skin felt soft, and Marissa was suddenly surprised by the fact that she was noticing those kinds of details. Snapping out of her daze, she looked back at Alex, and smiled at her.
" Nice to meet you, Alex," she said.
" You too," said Alex softly.
" I'm glad we talked," said Marissa.
" Yeah…" said Alex, smiling in agreement.
Marissa wished she had had a chance to talk to Alex before now, but Ryan had always seemed to find an excuse for not introducing them. Marissa wasn't sure why, exactly, but she had always had the impression that Ryan was somehow jealous of Alex.
" Alex?"
"Yeah?"
" Aside from the fact that he was kinda a prick…Why didn't you and Ryan get on? He kept finding excuses for not introducing me to you."
" Ah," said Alex, unsure about whether she should divulge this information.
" It's kinda complicated…well, not really, but…" Alex realised she was getting off-topic.
" I just don't want you thinking I'm a bad person."
" I'm sure whatever it was, he deserved it. I won't think badly of you."
" Promise?"
" Yeah, I promise."
" I "stole" his girlfriend when we were in high school."
Marissa laughed.
" Seriously? That's why he didn't like you? I thought he would have got over something like that; it was a long time ago. Then again, we are talking about Ryan…Anyway, I can see why she would leave him for you," she continued more quietly.
" Mind if I ask you a question?" said Alex, smiling at Marissa's previous statement.
" You just did," responded Marissa playfully.
" Right. What were you doing with Ryan anyway? You don't have to answer if you don't want to, I don't want you to think that I'm being nosy…"
Marissa cut her off.
" The rambling's cute. And I don't mind answering your question." She looked thoughtful, considering what she had been doing with him.
" He seemed really great at first, you know. And then I saw what he was really like, and I've been trying to leave him for a long time, but every time I did, he'd find an excuse for me to stay."
" So that's why you stayed with him so long?"
" Marissa nodded.
Alex looked at her watch.
" Shit. I'm gonna be late for work if I don't go now."
" How did you get here?"
" I walked. And now I'm gonna have to run."
" I'll drive you," said Marissa quickly, not knowing why exactly it was that she wanted to spend more time with Alex.
" You don't have to do that."
" I want to. On one condition though…"
" What?"
" I get to see you again."
" Sure," responded Alex, smiling brightly at Marissa.