Preemptive AN: MUST READ! Okay, folks, I have a little bad news. I have kept this from you in hopes of breaking it more gently. You see, in about a week I will be flying off to Beijing for a trip to Beijing, Shanghai, Nanjing, Nagasaki, Kyoto, Osaka, and Tokyo. Meaning, I will be overseas for a month. Also meaning...you won't be getting an update after this one...until February. I will try my hardest to get a chapter out that first week in February, but my trip is a class (J-Term) and things will be way too hectic to write. Please forgive me for keeping this to myself for so long, but I didn't want you dreading it. Now it is upon you and you must live with it til my return. HOWEVER, the bright side is you still have one more chapter to read, so...MERRY CHRISTMAS, minna! Review comments at the bottom. Enjoy!
Part Eleven
Several hours after Birman, Manx, and Persia's arrival, they have left Weiss to their upcoming mission, leaving many new details and many new complications, ones that Shioshiro was well aware of but that the others were not. Persia has indeed sworn that his return to Kritiker will only be to clean out his desk and never look back. While Weiss' mission is being completed, Manx and Birman will see to his duties and follow Shioshiro's lead until Kritiker's new place in the world is discovered. Until everything has been completed, there is nothing to do but help out where they can and pray Weiss is successful, especially when they know that this next mission is going to be much more difficult than the last.
"I still can't believe there was a Weiss before us." Omi comments, lounging on the couch with Nagi beside him, Youji propped on an arm, Shioshiro and Ken leaning side by side against the right wall, and Ran a slight distance away, leaning against the left. "And they're still out there bringing their own justice, outside of missions and the rules we follow. It makes you wonder how easily we could have turned out like them."
"Heh. Too easy. Most of you pretty much did." Shioshiro says with quite obviously false humor. "They left Kritiker for good reasons—because they didn't want to be caught up in a family feud, killing off bad guys who were more of a hindrance to the particular Takatori they were working for rather than killing purely because a person or group deserved it. Take that for what you want, but those original Weiss members are now killing of their own accord, and if civilians get caught in the crossfire, they don't much care."
Youji shifts a little in his seat, hands clasped tightly together as he casts Shioshiro a sideways glance. "So…the plan is to kill 'em I take it?"
Shioshiro's violets dart to Ran, who remains eerily still, before returning to Youji. "No. Not if we can help it. These are good men. Or…they were once. If we can appeal to them on any level their help in the final mission could be just what we need to win. But…their cases are unique. Imagine yourselves 10 or 20 years from now, having remained in Weiss as killers, but with no family or outlet to retain your sanity. That says it poorly, but…it really is who these men are."
"What about the specifics, Hiro?" Ken asks softly, tense throughout this discussion because he can tangibly feel the danger ahead of them and fears the outcome, especially when he knows Ran has some strange tie to all this--a tie he doesn't quite understand. "Who are these men really? Individually. There's four of them, right?"
A confirming nod is his reply, but Shioshiro hesitates in supplying a true answer. Again, his eyes glance to Ran, who seems to be watching him a little more openly than usual. Shioshiro swallows. "Well…there's Rindou, the one I would probably consider the most together mentally. He follows the others but he sees the flaws in what they are doing. Somehow, despite everything, he has managed to hang on to that…something. That spark of…whatever it is Omiji seems to glow with."
A brief but large smile from Shioshiro causes Omi to blush, and Nagi's gentle smile of agreement causes the blush to deepen significantly. Youji, as is so characteristic of him, punches Omi playfully in the arm to show his agreement as well.
"Next…there's Ayame." Shioshiro continues, his smile suddenly lost. "He's…he's…complicated. He…kills outside of missions. Outside of their missions. Women. And if that wasn't enough, when he's done with them, Azami—the next member—cuts up the remains to get rid of the evidence."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." Youji interjects, standing from the arm of the couch with his hands held up for emphasis. "This guy murders women, his friend cuts them up to make sure he doesn't get caught, and you don't want us to take these guys out? They sound like serial killers to me. Serial killers going after women? I don't like that."
An exasperated sigh responds, proving that Shioshiro was expecting this response. "Can you look me in the eye and tell me you have never killed a woman…Yotan?"
Dead silence. Honorably dead.
"Have you ever stopped and wondered if the reason you feel so empty and trapped by this life is because killing has become the answer to everything? Why kill them? Nicol and Powell were one thing, their men, too. But…Weiss…they were like you once. They had a purpose and they can be reminded of it. Wherever that chance exists, don't they deserve to be given it?"
The silence becomes even more reverent, and a few too many pairs of eyes find Nagi, who seems to expect the attention. Even if any of them had been anticipating some form of betrayal from him, certainly none has come and he seems so very…comfortable with where he is and with whom. Is that not enough to prove Shioshiro's statement?
Youji sits back down; he has no rebuttal.
"There is still one more, yes?" Nagi asks, pushing into the silence in a rather practiced manner, as if he is used to long, painful silences among…friends. "Shion, wasn't it? Who is he?"
The silence that reigns even after Nagi's question is broken by an odd breath from Ran. It seems he is having trouble breathing as easily as he should.
The group turns to him, since he seems to know this final member of the old Weiss in a way none of the others understand.
"Why don't you tell them, Ora…ahem…Fujimiya-san?" Shioshiro inquires, catching his father's gaze with as little force as he can in order to keep the redhead from feeling put on the spot. "After all, you know him personally. I can fill in the later details, but you knew him when he was…himself."
Ran averts his eyes from the many pairs focused so intently on him, shifting his feet absently under their collective stare. "I'd rather not, if it's all the same. I do not care whether or not my relationship with him is kept secret, but--"
"You don't want to have to talk about it yourself." Shioshiro finishes, coming to his father's rescue valiantly, understanding where to stop pushing and where to push till it hurts. "And you can wipe that scared look off your face, Kento." he adds, nudging the other brunette in the side. "He and Shion weren't lovers. Shion was his teacher. His mentor. Taught him how to use a sword, taught him everything. In fact, the sword he uses is one Shion gave him. Shion supposedly died years ago, right before Ora…forgive me…right before Fujimiya-san joined Crashers. But it was a staged death. Since then, Shion and his teammates have been living double lives. Shion has a family, I hear, but believes his mission to have more purpose, and therefore, has not gone home to them. He has the most drive out of all of these men and will be the most difficult to convince. It is a tough job ahead of us, but we can do it. I have faith in that. History will not repeat itself."
Mustering up the courage to ask this next question, Ken takes a breath. "Hiro…what happened originally? How did history play out when we met up with this…old Weiss…in your time?"
The million yen question. Shioshiro looks to the floor of the RV and sighs, forcing a small smile. "Ask me when the mission is over, Kento. Okay?"
Not being able to meet his son's gaze is enough to make Ken easily concede. "Yeah…you bet."
Like a springboard, Shioshiro's head darts back up and he looks over the room, collecting every gaze before continuing. "So now…we wait. The information we need through Kritiker should come by tomorrow, as Manx told us. We'll go after them then."
He pauses, his smile rather melancholy as if he knows they are treading over dangerous ground.
"Prepare yourselves, minna. We're gonna need all the luck we can get."
-----
A few hours pass with little activity, most of the time spent worrying and wondering.
Ran seems to be missing in action, as always; Ken has disappeared into the field near the bridge to kick his soccer ball around for a while; and Youji has retired to his room, supposedly for a nap. Nagi and Omi are still on the couch, talking away as Shioshiro listens in from the adjacent room. He hadn't initially meant to eavesdrop, but catching their conversation has captured his attention.
"You were right, Omi. They accept me so easily. They don't even question. It really is a family you have here." Nagi says with a pleased and yet somewhat somber smile. "I still can't believe Brad let me go. I wonder…what he and Schuldig are doing now…"
Omi smiles in sympathy, inching closer to Nagi on the couch to tentatively wrap an arm around his friend. Nagi tenses a little at the contact he is so unused to receiving, but quickly relaxes. "Nagi-kun…this family is yours now, too. And…Crawford and Schuldig…they might come around. They might come back and help us, just like Farfarello and Sally will. So…don't you worry." proclaims Omi's persistent optimism. "You…really care about all of them, don't you?" he asks then, his voice a shade softer.
Nagi nods slowly. "I love them. I have never once said so, and not a one of the would ever say such a thing to me, but…they are the only family I have ever known…until now."
This final admission breaks Omi's small smile into an overpowering grin. "I'm so happy, Nagi!" he exclaims, launching himself onto his friend for a tight embrace that catches the young brunette strikingly off guard before he is able to reciprocate. "Now we can be together and both have this family. And…and maybe everything will work out. Because of Shio-kun…I really think it all can."
As the boys part from their hug, both maintain a hold on each other's shoulders, quite close as they sit on the couch, alone in the small room. Except for Shioshiro's sharp ears, that is.
Omi smiles; Nagi returns it. They remain intimately close as they stare into such different shades of blue in each other's eyes.
"Thank you, Omi-kun." Nagi smiles, and as Omi smiles in response, their electrified moment lingers, and for all his holding back, Nagi decides he would rather be bold.
Moving quickly, the young brunette jerks forward and delivers a kiss, having every intention of pulling away instantly, though having carried out the act makes breaking it quite impossible. In actuality, the kiss does only last a moment, but the feeling of Omi kissing him back makes Nagi think it lasts insurmountably longer.
"I can't believe I did that." Nagi blushes madly, pulling away with downcast eyes.
"I can't either." Omi admits, but the humor in his voice is enough to lift Nagi's gaze, where he finds a very caring smile to greet him. "It was…nice. I've always wondered what it might be like."
Nagi's brow furrows a bit. "You mean…to kiss me? To kiss…another boy?"
"To kiss anyone." Omi laughs. "But…yes, to kiss you. We've become such good friends…I was afraid trying anything might ruin it. But…I guess you've been feeling the same way."
"Yes." Nagi admits, but then allows his small smile to quirk into something almost like a smirk. "Although…I've mainly been waiting for a chance to have you alone and in person. Having that chance now…to just be together…is pretty nice, too."
And though Omi and Nagi wonder what it might be like to lean in again, both boys instead lean back to continue talking.
Repressing a very large smile, Shioshiro waits a few harmless minutes before coming out of the room in order to make his way to Youji's. The blonde's room is the furthest down, out of site from the main room, but just as Shioshiro is contemplating knocking to perhaps have a few words with his more reclusive uncle, he begins to pick up on Youji's voice. It seems the playboy is talking to himself, for no one answers his questions or laments.
"I miss you, ya know? So much…"
Shioshiro presses his ear to the door.
"Nothing hurts more…than knowing I'm the reason you're not here. Everyday I think about that. How I couldn't save you the first time, and how that's why you were with Masafumi. And…I really can't blame you for forgetting me. I deserved it I guess. It's just…I can't imagine…how I'm supposed to keep going…when I'm…the one…who…"
The man's sobs can easily be heard, hard as he tries to keep them quiet. It brings a pained expression to Shioshiro's face for all he still has to accomplish in order to set things right.
"Asuka…why won't you leave me alone…?"
Shioshiro takes this as his cue to leave Youji alone, and steps away from the door, heading instead out of the RV to perhaps check up on his father.
On his more accepting father.
But the moment he steps outside and turns his eyes on the distant figure near the bridge, he thinks better of it. He can see his father moving along the grass, shifting and kicking and purely reliving moments of playing soccer for real. Apparently, however, he failed to grab an actual ball, and anyone who might see him out there, kicking the air with such passion, might surely think he has gone insane. But Shioshiro knows the real reasons for his father's behavior—having a ball has never really mattered. Soccer has always been an outlet for Ken, something to focus his attentions on when he is preoccupied with…the next mission. It is a way to forget being a murderer for a living.
Sadly, Shioshiro knows full well that soccer will not be enough.
Sighing deeply, he plops himself down in the grass just out of sight from his currently occupied father. He has had very little time to just…think, after all. His directives make all of this so go, go, go, but…a part of him would be happy to just be. Especially if he gets to spend more time with a certain other brunette.
That is, if that certain other brunette was happily involved in a loving relationship with a certain redhead. That…would make Shioshiro's day.
"He doesn't even care what onlookers might think, does he?"
Shioshiro's head snaps up. He has heard the very voice he was hoping for.
Ran sits down in the grass beside him, only a foot or two between them, staring out at the landscape beyond as he speaks. "Yes, I was watching him, too. Like a crowd at the scene of a car accident; you don't want to look but can't help yourself."
A smooth laugh responds to this, wholly genuine and pleased with such uncharacteristic humor coming from the redhead. "Yep. I know just what you mean. So…not avoiding me for once, eh, Fujimiya-san? Am I growing on you or are you just guilty for calling me unwanted before?"
Nobly keeping his eyes on the horizon, Ran huffs, but looks perhaps the tiniest bit embarrassed. "I didn't mean to say that." he speaks softly, as if to somehow hide the apology. "I was tired and angry…for many reasons. I see that you are a good man with good intentions, and Ken was correct in telling me I had no right to act in such a way towards you."
"Wow." Shioshiro grins, leaning through the space separating them to nudge his father in the side. "What sparked all of this? You might just bring me to tears."
Ran valiantly resists comment. He sighs. "Shion…makes all of this so much more real. I suppose…I was finally forced to sit down and think about everything. I know why you're here and I respect it, but…if you know me so well…then you must know why I am being so resistant."
"Yeah…I think I do. I'm not used to it—I'm used to you being…well…one of the sweetest guys in the world with a very slow temper—but I understand your coldness. I understand why suddenly being told you're going to fall in love with Kento and have me must have been a shock you would much rather do without."
Very slowly, Ran turns his head to look at Shioshiro for the first time. It is the brunette now who is staring at the distant scenery, strong emotions fighting a vicious war behind his eyes as Ran stares into their depths. "I honestly did not even contemplate loving him until you came." he speaks, so softly, if Shioshiro had been even another inch further away, he wouldn't have heard it.
Turning his head to meet that violet gaze so like his own, Shioshiro smiles warmly. "I know. You found him attractive that first day when you beat each other senseless—don't even try to deny it, you told me so yourself—but you didn't fall in love with him…not really…until Kryptonbrand."
"Krypton--"
"Don't ask." Shioshiro interrupts, his smile clinging with obvious strain. "It hasn't happened yet. Me being here…screws that up. Forces the issue about…5 years ahead of schedule. I didn't mention that part before. After all, Kento's been in love with you since…well, no love at first sight…but it wasn't long after you joined Weiss that he started getting googly-eyed around you."
Returning Shioshiro's easy gaze, Ran does not appear the least bit defensive or upset concerning what the brunette has just said. Everything, every last word, is in some ways exactly what he expected to hear. "I won't deny caring for him." Ran admits, struggling to keep his face like a well-constructed wall.
"I know."
"But this is about much more than--"
"I know that, too. Believe me, Oran, I know how hard this must be for you." Shioshiro stops, suddenly smiling sheepishly as he bites his lip. "Forgive me again. I meant Fujimiya-san, of course."
Ran grimaces. "Forget that. You trip over it every time anyway. Call me what you will. It makes no difference to me."
Shioshiro grins. "Hey…I really am making progress. Next thing I know you'll be hugging me."
Another huff. "I may not deny caring for him, and I will not deny that I find him…him…"
"Masculine and beautiful? Adorable? Irresistable?"
Twitch.
"Ahem…I mean…well…you were saying, Oran…?" Shioshiro winks, holding back a laugh at the expression on his father's face.
Overcoming his irritation, Ran rolls his eyes a little before continuing to speak. "I was saying…that despite finding him…marginally attractive…I am not in love with him. What do I know of love anyway? What right do I have to feel it? You are not unwanted, Shioshiro, but inconvenient and ill timed. I still do not see how things could be different even five years from now when you claim I will have a change of heart, but now…you ask too much of me now. So does he. I probably wouldn't even be thinking about him like this if not for you and how I let him…" Ran cuts himself off, suddenly realizing what he had been about to say.
"Let him…what?" Shioshiro prompts, suddenly very interested considering the slight blush creeping up the back of Ran's neck.
"I'm surprised he didn't tell you." Ran says, hoping to avoid the question.
Shioshiro is perched on the edge of his seat. "No, he didn't. Let him what?"
"Hn. You sound like an excitable child."
"I am an excitable child. Let him what?"
Another deep sigh. Ran knows full well there is no evading on this one; if he refuses to say anything or lies, Ken will eventually set the record straight. "I let him…kiss me. But he thought I was asleep at the time, so it wasn't really…consensual."
Shioshiro is rightly beaming. "Except for you actually being awake and considering you let him, which means you didn't stop pretending to be asleep even after he kissed you. That's consensual. He committed an act and you willfully let him. That's the definition of consensual, Oran. From my point of view, it looks like you're losing this war you are so intent to win."
Ran opens his mouth to offer some form of dissention, any form, but comes up devastatingly short and ends up saying nothing at all. He lowers his gaze a moment, deep in thought, before finally lifting it again with what can only be described as pure anguish hiding within the violet. "I cannot deny any of what you say…and yet…what more can I do but continue as I have been? Even if I were to love him…how…how could--"
"Stop it. Don't say another word." Shioshiro demands firmly, smile still in place but tight and serious. He reaches across the space between them and grasps his father's hands. If Ran were not so shocked, he would pull away, but the fire lit so impressively in Shioshiro's eyes interferes with his ability to protest. "I know exactly what is going through that pretty little head of yours, and I can call it pretty because it looks so much like mine." A small, brief smirk. "You think you don't deserve him, that you don't deserve anyone, but you are so wrong. The most valuable thing you have taught me is that there is never no hope. Never. I would rather die than live in a world where hope could cease to exist, you once told me, because as long as we have hope here and now, nothing is impossible. No one is lost. Anyone can be reached and changed. Anyone can have a second chance. You found yours in my timeline, and you can in this one, too. Things are different—I made them different—but…but some things can still be. Please…don't count all this out just because you feel unworthy of it. I have never once felt ashamed to be your son. Please…don't feel ashamed for loving Kento and being my father."
Shioshiro's grip is tight and assuring, so much so that even if Ran thought to, he would not be able to pull away. They sit there, hands linked and eyes locked for a solid minute before either can even imagine moving.
Ran honestly doesn't know what he can say; Shioshiro has addressed everything he is feeling and made it all seem so very foolish. But…how can he simply allow accepting himself as he is, and in doing so accept another into his life, to share that life and possibly…create a whole new person to share it with, too? How…when he still does not know…if he even can…love…?
"I…I will not promise you anything. Not anything." Ran says evenly, gripping his son's hands tightly in response to how tightly they are being held in return. "I can only be…as I am…and try…try to understand the faith you have in all of us. In me. In…this love you are so certain must and will exist. But I promise you nothing."
"Yes, I understand."
"However…I will listen to you as best I can. I will…try."
Smile—bold and beautiful. "You know what, Oran? That's all I wanted to hear."
-----
Many minutes after Ran's departure, Shioshiro continues to sit in the grass, watching the sun tease the horizon. His thoughts are wild with possibility now. With pride. He is doing the best he can and proving to be doing a pretty good job of it, too.
If Ran honestly tries to see things Shioshiro's way, Ken might just get what he wants.
'But I did lie to you a little, Oran.' The brunette thinks with a wicked little smile, knees pulled to his chest as his arms rest comfortably on top of them. 'You loved him long before Kryptonbrand. You allowed yourself to acknowledge it then, and that is when the relationship became a relationship, but…heh…you loved him from the start. How did you put it…?'
"I loved him from the moment he first hit me…hehe…but I didn't let myself love him until the day he told me I was a necessity. A necessity in life…for him."
'Yeah…I think things are gonna end up just fine.'
"Hiro!"
Shioshiro turns, seeing Ken running up to him from the field. Getting up onto his feet at last, he sends his father a large and confident smile.
'We still have hurdles ahead of us…for everyone…but I think…somehow…everything is going to be all right…'
tbc...
AN: HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Ken actually tells Ran in Weiss Side B that the reason he followed him halfway across the globe is because Ran is a necessity in his life. I just about died! Gotta love when couples start being canon, ne?
Medusa Davenport: HAHA! Yep, we sure do. No ass for Crimson. :-)
M-chan: Yep, that quote was SO from Saiyuki Gaiden. I can't help it; it's one of my faves. You see, it's an actual Japanese quote so technically it's public domain, not copywriting Saiyuki. :-)
Bao-chan: Aww! blush Well, I'm thinking around 26 chapters, so we've barely begun. :-) Yeppers, Dramatic Precious is Drama CDs. They take place after the series and the OVA, but before Gluhen. They made me depressed for a solid week, but Gluhen helped...a little. Mainly coz of the obvious RanKen. :-) Gotta love Weiss Side B for that, too. Hoo boy! I almost bought Dramatic Precious once but since they are out of print the very rare occasion they are available, $250 was a little more than I could spend.
Whisper Reilman: "Ken should make him sign some sort of paper, though, agreeing to lend his genes to make Shiro-kun no matter the outcome of events." That made me laugh. :-) As for psycho-Ken...you should be able to tell that Shio is worrying about that, too. Among other things. You'll just have to wait and see. ;-)
K, I think that's it. Have a great holiday season and a good January. Thanks for sticking with me peeps. There's no way I can post, but I will try to write and come Feb. you'll have a kickass chapter or two, I swear. Love you all!
Crim