Chapter Four

I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
Somehow I can't put you in the past
I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me?
Cause I know I won't forget you…

-Simple Plan

Four days had passed.

Kit gazed dully at his bedroom wall, lying on his side on his bed. His open photo album lay beside him, most of the photos now lying scattered over the formerly immaculate hardwood floor.

He was really trying to give up.

Eyes closed, he rolled onto his back, recalling better times.

He could still feel her arms around him, comforting him, letting him know that she'd always be there for him. The smell of the Pantene shampoo she always used wafted up to him through his memory, evoking memories of the countless times he had buried his face in her sweet-smelling hair, his arms around her waist, never wanting to let her go.

What happened between then and now… what could possibly have been so powerful that she just pushed aside everything we had?

Kit scrubbed fiercely at his eyes again. He wouldn't cry. Not over something like this.

Not now.

Not yet.

Calling a familiar matrix to mind, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he mentally altered the coordinates. Gritting his teeth so hard they began to hurt, he snapped out the single syllable that would activate the matrix.

With a rush of imploding air and a bang that made Carmela's car alarm go off, he vanished.

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Nita had just figured out the fingering transition on her flute when Kit literally exploded into the middle of her bedroom floor, the violent outrush of air sending papers, books, and various other objects soaring through the air.

Kit read surprise, anger, and sadness on her face before she turned aside to pick up the disarray, avoiding his gaze the whole time. Her face was set, and her eyes equally devoid of emotion as she rearranged papers and replaced books.

He watched her the whole time, knowing he should probably pitch in, but he held back.

As she finished, she glanced up at Kit for a split second, then picked up her flute and began adjusting her fingering.

Kit sighed.

"Nita… I…"

He paused, making sure he had her attention, then continued.

"I guess… I should be thanking you."

She looked up, surprised at that.

Kit took a breath to say more, but her voice interrupted his.

"No."

He paused, mid breath, as she continued.

"Kit… I'm sorry."

She looked directly into his eyes from her position on the bed, and Kit was knocked backwards as a tidal wave of emotion slammed into his mind like a runaway freight train. He held her gaze for as long as he could, then dropped it as the emotion overcame his conscientious thoughts.

"...you don't need to be," he began, but he was cut off by her once more.

"I'm so sorry…

A long pause.

"I…"

She paused, then fixed her eyes on his.

"…I can't love you back," she whispered, her gray eyes glistening.

His lips still parted, Kit stared at her, disbelief and horror written all across his face.

Nita watched him, saw every last ounce of pain hit him, and closed her eyes, bowing her head.

"I'm sorry."

Kit swallowed hard, heroically struggling not to break down.

"Don't be... you… you did what's best for you. And… and you're happy now."

Nita stared at the floor, her face still closed, taciturn and composed.

A small smile cracked Kit's face. "I still love you, Nita."

"I know you do…"

Kit closed his eyes, watching every moment they had shared together flash before his eyes.

It's gone…

"Still friends?" he inquired, his voice shaking with his efforts not to cry.

Nita nodded, still silent.

Without any further words, Kit stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Nita, breathing in her familiar scent for the last time.

She tucked her head into her favorite spot, her lips resting lightly on the base of his neck.

For a moment, everything was right again. Nothing had changed; she loved him with as much passion as he adored her.

Then reality set in again; a dead weight in Kit's heart and stomach.

A single tear made its way down his cheek, gently dropping onto her forehead as she backed away from his embrace.

Kit gazed at her for a while, admiring her and her simple, elegant beauty: perfection in its purest form.

A wry smile crossed his face, then, shaking his head twice and still smiling, he turned to the door.

Nita watched him vanish into the hallway; heard the front door open and shut.

Her countenance immediately vanished as she weakly collapsed onto her bed and, burying her face into her pillow, let the tears come.

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Time passes

Things change

Nothing ever stays the same.

But keep hope alive

Even against the odds

And believe in love.

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Fin