October 1975

Ten months later

It was the perfect choice. He had known as soon as he'd seen it that it was the right one, that there could be no other. As he carried it out of the shop, he was already planning how he was going to do it at the weekend when she came home. It would be the perfect evening. First, he would take her for drinks to one of the most exclusive wine bars in the city, then dinner at a great little Italian place he had come across by accident, followed by a romantic stroll and then…then he was going to present her with this little beauty. He opened the box and looked at the single diamond nestling in the blue velvet. He was going to do it. He was going to ask Evelyn to marry him.

She had been so happy over the last ten months, especially when after a fantastic application form, with which he had helped, and a fast-talking interview, she had managed to secure herself a second chance at Harvard. It hadn't been easy, and she had needed to get a bank loan to cover the fees, but she had been walking on air ever since, delighted at the prospect of being able to right the wrongs of the previous few years.

"Wouldn't it be funny if I was in 12C again?" she'd said to him when she received her initial information.

"Yeah, as long as you don't get too friendly with the guy in 12B," he'd replied. He was happy that she was getting the chance to do what she wanted to do, but part of him had also been wary at the prospect of her moving back to Cambridge. Ever since New Year's Eve, they had practically lived together in his apartment and the thought of her being away for weeks at a time saddened him.

"Don't worry," she'd said when she caught sight of his wistful look, "I'll come home every weekend. And you can come and stay with me. It'll be like old times."

He had just smiled, knowing that once she got involved in her classes, she wouldn't be able to come home every weekend, and with his workload, getting up there would be difficult too. And he had been right.

The first few weekends after she had started, she had come home on the train every Friday night and he had been there to greet her. She would run down the platform to him and throw herself into his arms, kissing him fiercely, telling him how much she had missed him before they headed back to his apartment so she could show him. They would spend most of Saturday in bed and then perhaps go out on the Sunday before she had to catch the train back again. Ben found himself living for those weekends.

The first time she had called to say she couldn't come home, he remembered experiencing a feeling inside that that was going to become the norm. Two, three weeks went by before he drove up to Cambridge to spend the weekend with her there. Again, they spent a lot of time in bed before he had to come back to the city, but it wasn't the same. She had more and more assignments to do and had little time either to come home or entertain him there. That was partly why he had decided to propose. Not because he was worried she might find someone else during the long weeks they were apart, but to make a firm commitment, to make her his. To have something to show at the end of it all.

"Where have you been?" Bowyer demanded when he arrived back after lunch.

"Lunch," Ben replied taking off his jacket and putting it on the back of his chair. As he sat down, he felt for the ring box in his pocket, and continued to feel it at intervals all throughout the day until five o'clock. Evelyn's train always arrived at Grand Central at six-fifteen, and by the time he had fought his way through the rush hour traffic, he usually only had about ten minutes to spare. He bought a donut to satisfy his appetite until dinner and then headed onto the platform to wait for her.

When the train pulled in and the passengers started to disembark, he looked for her through the crowd, until he caught sight of her coming towards him. He waited, but she didn't run and she didn't throw herself into his arms. When she reached him, she gave him a cursory hug and peck on the cheek.

"Hi," he greeted her uncertainly.

"Hi," she replied, her voice sounding strained.

"Good trip?" he picked up her bag as they started to walk back towards the entrance.

"It was ok," she said, before lapsing into silence.

Ben was confused. Normally, she talked nineteen to the dozen about what she had been up to that week.

"How's Whitworth's assignment going?" he asked.

"Not bad."

"I can go over it with you if you want."

"It's ok. I can manage."

"Ok," he said. As they drove through the streets to his apartment, Evelyn sat in silence beside him, her gaze fixed out of the window. She offered no conversation and he soon stopped his pathetic attempts because he was clearly getting nowhere. When they reached their destination, Evelyn went into the bathroom and didn't re-emerge for a full ten minutes.

Ben was hovering in the kitchen, "I got us reservations at that new Italian place for seven-thirty," he told her, "but I thought we could go to Alarosa for drinks first."

"I'm really tired," Evelyn replied, pouring herself a glass of water, "Can't we just stay here tonight?"

"Well…" he paused, knowing what it had taken to get the reservations, "It took me ages to actually get a table and it's supposed to be really great food."

"Fine," she replied, in a tone that indicated it was anything but. She disappeared into the bedroom and came back out wearing a simple black dress, "Will this do?"

"You look great," he told her. As he made to kiss her, she turned her face away and he was left brushing air. Assuming she would lighten up once they got out, he got himself ready and they made their way to the bar. It was noisy and crowded and he had to shout to speak to her, but she made no effort to take him up on anything her said.

When they got to the restaurant, it was no better. Evelyn read the menu in silence, only speaking to give the waiter her order, before playing with the wine glass in front of her.

After at least ten minutes of silence, Ben had had enough, "Evelyn, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she replied, refusing to meet his gaze, "I'm just tired, that's all. It's been a long week."

"So, talk to me about it."

"I don't want to."

"Is it the work, the people...?"

"Stop it, Ben," she sighed heavily, "I said I don't want to talk about it.." The waiter brought their starters and they ate in silence.

Ben could feel the ring box burning a hole in his pocket. This wasn't quite how he had imagined it. He couldn't understand why she was being so cold, so distant. This wasn't the Evelyn he had gotten to know over the last year. This was the old Evelyn, an unwelcome visitor. As the check was brought to them at the end of the meal, Ben gave voice to a fear that had been coursing through him all evening.

"Have you met someone else?" He was surprised at how calm he sounded.

Evelyn looked at him properly for the first time all evening. Her expression was a mixture of fear and pain, "No. God, Ben, no."

"Then what is it?" he pressed, "You've been acting like you don't want to be here all night."

"It's not that…"

"Then what!" he could feel himself grow angry and he had to fight to keep his voice down, "Damn it, what is with you?"

"Can we just go, please?" she asked, standing up. She didn't bother waiting, instead making her way directly to the door.

Ben hurriedly left a tip and took off after her, catching up with her at the first cab rank. They sat in stony silence all the way back to the apartment and when they got inside, the first thing Evelyn did was pour herself a drink. She stood looking out of the window, nursing it. Ben pulled his tie off and threw it onto the sofa, before unbuttoning the top button of his shirt and sinking down on the chair with his back to her. He had meant it to be the perfect night, the night he asked her to marry him, and it had all gone horribly wrong.

After a while, Evelyn came and sat on the sofa. She put her now empty glass down on the coffee table and looked at her hands, "I'm sorry, Ben. I haven't been the best company this evening."

He fought down his annoyance and tried to be sympathetic, "What's bothering you, Evelyn?" She shook her head slowly, as if to indicate that she wouldn't discuss it, "Well damn it, I don't know what to say!" he got to his feet, "I haven't seen you in three weeks and when you come home you act as if you don't want to be here."

"It's just all going wrong," she replied softly.

"What is? Harvard? Are you finding it too hard?"

"No, it's…"

"Is it us? You don't love me anymore, you don't want to be with me?" he ran through all the scenarios.

She lifted her head and looked at him, "I'm pregnant, Ben. Eight weeks."

He was stunned into silence. Pregnant? She was pregnant with his child? He thought about how careful they had always been, always taking the time to use protection no matter how heated the situation got. All of a sudden in his mind's eye, Ben could see white picket fences and himself and Evelyn running around after a gaggle of kids, smiling and laughing. It was the family he had always wanted to have.

"Evelyn, that's…that's wonderful." He pulled her to her feet and took her in his arms, "that's wonderful!"

She pulled back from him violently, "It's not wonderful, Ben. It's the worse thing that could have happened!"

He was stunned by her ferocity, "The worst thing? But…"

"I've just gone back to law school. It's my second chance and now…now I'm having a baby. I can't stay at Harvard if I'm pregnant. By the time the finals come around I'll be ready to give birth and then I'll have a newborn baby crying all night, demanding all my attention, attention I won't be able to give! And where will you be? Here, carrying on with your glittering career!" She shook her head in frustration and anger.

Ben paused, "Well…" he tried to be diplomatic, "maybe…maybe we have to think about our priorities now."

"What do you mean, priorities?"

"Evelyn," he put his hands on her shoulders, "You're pregnant. Maybe you should think about…postponing."

"Postponing?" she looked at him as if he had suggested she dance naked in the street.

"You could defer your place for a few years…"

"Defer? Ben, I've been there two months already! I've done work, I've handed in assignments, I'm working on other assignments. I can't just defer!"

"Ok," he tried to be practical, "You could do this year, and maybe defer your second year until the baby's a bit older."

Evelyn shook her head, "They're not going to let me do that! I dropped out once before, remember? And it took a hell of a lot of effort to get back in again. I'm not giving it up!"

"What other choice do we have?" Ben asked, "There's no way you'd be able to study with a baby living with you in one of those rooms and I'm working all the time…"

"Oh, so I'd have to be the one to make all the sacrifices?" she shot at him, "God forbid Ben should be asked to change anything about his life just because he was careless enough to get me pregnant!"

"That's not fair, Evelyn," he replied, "it takes two to make a baby."

"Oh don't patronise me," she retorted, "Yes, it takes two to make a baby, but it only takes one doctor to get rid of it."

Her words hung in the air between them. Ben was horrified. He knew what she was alluding to, but he didn't want to believe it, "You're talking about having an abortion."

She nodded, "Yes."

"You can't."

"Yes I can. Roe v Wade, remember?"

"I'm not talking about the legalities," he replied, "I'm talking about the fact that you're thinking about killing our child…"

"Don't give me that anti-abortion crap, Ben. You know we don't agree on the subject." She was right, they didn't. And they had had many a hypothetical debate on the rights and wrongs of abortion, never once thinking it would happen to them.

"Evelyn…" he fought for the right words, "I don't want you to have an abortion."

"I know you're Catholic, Ben, and you don't believe in it, but you have to see it from my point of view," she pleaded with him, "It's my body that'll be affected, my time at Harvard that'll be ruined. I…" she shook her head, "I can't give up what I've worked hard to get for a mistake that's easy to correct."

"A mistake?" he couldn't believe she could say it so blithely. "It's our baby, Evelyn, it's not a mistake."

"Maybe not to you." She lowered her eyes, "We're not even married."

"I can fix that," he dove into his jacket pocket and pulled out the box, latching on to a potential solution. "I was going to do this tonight, but then when you were acting so strange I didn't…" he opened it and held it out to her, "I wanted to ask you to be my wife, Evelyn. I love you and I want to marry you."

Evelyn looked at the ring, "Ben…" she said softly, tears springing into her eyes, "It's…it's beautiful."

He took it out of the box and grabbed her hand, "Then say yes," he pushed it onto her finger, "Say yes, Evelyn."

She paused for a long time. "I love you, Ben I always have and…yes."

He pulled her to him and held her tightly in his arms. She didn't protest, but clung to him, and he could feel her trembling slightly. When they pulled away, he took her face in his hands and kissed her gently, "I love you."

"I love you too," she repeated, "but I can't…I mean this doesn't…"

"We'll work something out," he told her, "Supposing I have to give up my job and take care of the baby myself, we'll work something out."

"I won't defer," she told him seriously, "I can't, Ben, I just can't."

"Ok," he replied, "You don't have to defer. We'll sort it, I promise."

"How?" she asked, like a child looking for direction.

He wasn't quite sure how, but he knew he would think of something. "Just leave it to me," he said, "I'll take care of it. I'll take care of everything."