I think about it all the time… I will be laying on our couch watching television, some things a home just needs, muggle or wizard. You will walk into the rooms and take off your shoes, slipping under the blanket with me.

"Your feet are cold." You will say.

"You like it though." We share a laugh, both knowing it is true.

"I missed you today."

"I missed you too."

We share a small kiss, then fall asleep in each other's arms as we watch the rest of my movie.

I need to stop that! Planning our future that is… we have no future, you told me so.

I still pine for you, dreaming about the life we could have. The most common pleasures like snuggling under a blanket together. Things like that are all I want.

I just want to be with you and make you smile, is that too much to ask for? I want to share things with you, my secrets, fears, likes, and dreams, most of all my dreams… dreams of you and me, this life I hold dear in my mind and heart.

I love you. I admit that freely. I thought I hated you, with every fiber of my being, I truly thought that I hated you. Yeah right. I was kidding myself. Why? Yes, there was name calling and nasty jokes, but enough for me to truly hate you? No.

We worked things out in the end… well what I thought at that point was the end. We were civil, no, not friends, civil. That changed though, I took a chance, I was stupid. I blame in on the damn Gryffindor in me! I never think, I only do. It was a kiss. No, it was more than a kiss. In those lips was my heart. You responded. I know you did.

Was it true or was it just you leading me on? A sick joke to laugh with your friends about. "Guess what Potthead kissed me. The little freak! And the best part, he actually thought I liked him." No, you are not that cruel, even to me. What you did, I might say was cruel and hurtful… No! This is MY fault, I don't think. I probable repulse you. Leaning into you for that short kiss. Maybe you felt sorry for me and it was a 'sorry your life sucks' kiss for you. You sure ended it though.

Flashback…

"Potter no…" You couldn't even look me in the eyes.

"but… We could be together. The past does not matter. Only the future."

"We have no future."

"We could!"

"No, no Potter. It was just a kiss, nothing more."

You just turned and left me with those words… 'It was just a kiss, nothing more'

End Flashback…

"Harry can you come with me? I need someone to watch Crookshanks for me. Ron and I are going on Prefect duty and my poor kitty is sick." Hermione walked into the room where I am sitting alone.

"Sure." I put on a happy face and show the world that I am fine. The Savior of the World is always fine… even if he is dying inside, and right now I think I am.

I follow in her wake as we head into the Head Boy and Girl common room. Maybe I can see you, Head Boy… you made me proud. 'Gods I sound like a parent.'

"Harry can you wait here for a minute. I need to put my books away." Before I can answer she runs up the stairs.

"Sure." I sigh as I sit down and wait for her return. 'What is she talking about? Crookshanks looks fine!' Crookshanks walked into the room, following a fly that maniged to enter the dorm. 'Why does she really want me here?'

"Bye Harry!" Hermione runs out the door.

Bored with sitting alone, I stand, surveying the room. My eyes land on a certain door, your door, it is open ajar. I walk over and push it open a little bit, your not in their.

'What is this?' Something on your bed catches my eye. A book, a small green book.

Property of D.Malfoy is written in silver on the cover. It lay flat, open to what must be today's date.

Maybe it can help me, give me a clue of what goes on in your mind. 'Sorry Drake.' I pick the diary, Draco Malfoy and a diary... no for you I will say it is a journal, more masculine for you that way.

January 12 'Yes, that is today written in your perfect writing.'

I know I have not written in you for a while. I just need somewhere to let my feelings out. I have no one else. Well, yes I do but he is the one I need to talk about. Harry Potter.

No, what am I saying? He is not there for me, he was, but not now. I screwed things up royally. I am a Malfoy. 'Malfoys never cry,' 'Malfoys never love,' Malfoys never, never show any emotion' I can hear father, if you call him that. 'Malfoys never act like humans is more like it.' I am so glad he and Voldemort are out of my life. Another thing I owe to Harry, he freed me.

I saw him today. I wanted to hex myself to death. What did I do to him? He looked fine, smiling, happy, talking to his friends. Am I the only one who can see him, what is in his eyes. Sorrow, pain all caused by me. I did this to the only person to ever love me. I am my father, Malfoys always win, and he did.

I was scared that night. No one ever loved me, how do I act? I know I love him but what will happen? What if he finds out about the real me and doesn't like it? I would die, I never had to deal with this before. I had minions not love. I know I love him. His unruly black hair, his green eyes, his sense of humor, the way he could always out do me; all of this just made me love him so much it hurt. It hurts, but it hurts more to see him this way. I thought about him nonstop since that kiss. I would risk it for him. I know that now, there was no question between me risking my heart and just putting my heart in a freezer. I need to tell him. I love you, Harry.

I read the last line and my heart melting. 'You do love me.'

"Yes" a voice whispers behind me, I accidentally said that last part out loud.

I turn and there you are, standing behind me the doorway looking a shy as I have ever seen you. Walking up to you, reaching a hand out, I tuck a piece of light blond hair behind your ear. "Hello." I run my hand over your check. You close your eyes as I caress your face.

Your stormy gray eyes opened suddenly. "It meant something."

"What?"

"The kiss. It meant something. I want a future with you. I'd do anything for you."

I feel a single tear runs down my cheek. I wanted to hear that for so long. You reach up to catch the tear. "I am sorry I hurt you. I lyed to you, I lyed to myself when I said that. I don't want to hurt you, but I did. I know you wont forgive me." You start to turn. I catch your wrist.

"No, don't leave, please." You face me again. "I want a future with you."

"Really?" You smile at me.

"Yes" I pull you to me. Hugging you as hard as possible and you place our first real kiss on my lips. "To the future." I whisper in your ear as we separate.