July 1977

Eighteen months later

Evelyn was pacing around the apartment, nervously wringing her hands. She hadn't slept a wink the night before, as well Ben knew, having been kept awake by her tossing and turning. He watched her indulgently from the kitchen as he made the coffee.

"You'll wear a hole in the carpet," he joked.

"I can't help it," she replied, without looking at him, "this is perhaps the most important day of my life and I can't sit still!"

"The most important day?" he echoed, "More important than the day we got married?"

Evelyn stopped and grinned at him, "Well…it comes a close second." She twisted her wedding ring around her finger, "God, why is he taking so long?"

"Cause he knows you're waiting for him."

"What?" she looked at him.

"Watched kettles never boil," he told her wisely.

"Oh very funny," she replied, just as the mail came through the letterbox, "Oh my God, it's here!" She darted to the door and grabbed the pile of letters. Flicking through them, she tossed a number onto the floor, "Bills, bills, bills…"

"Which we have to pay," he reminded her, stooping to pick them up.

"This is it." She held the large brown envelope in her hands and stared at it, "Oh my God, this is it."

"Well open it."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm too scared."

"Give it here," Ben laughed, taking it from her and ripping it open. Evelyn watched him wide-eyed as he read it aloud, "Dear Mrs Stone, we are pleased to inform you that you have been successful…"

"Yes!" Evelyn screamed, jumping up and down, "Oh my God, yes!"

"…in gaining an apprenticeship at Burns & Associates. We look forward to having you join us on August 1st."

"That's in two weeks!" Evelyn exclaimed, "Oh my God, I'm not ready! I've got so much to do, so much to buy…I'm never going to be ready…"

"Yes you are," he told her, taking her face in his hands, "You're going to be fine."

"But what if I'm no good? What if I mess it all up?"

"You won't," he kissed her gently, "you're going to be the best lawyer they've ever had."

"But this is Burns & Associates," she persisted, "they're only the most influential criminal defence firm in the city…"

"Evelyn, calm down," he stepped back and handed her a cup of coffee, "they wouldn't have hired you if they didn't think you were any good."

Evelyn cocked her head on one side, "That's true, isn't it? They hired me. They hired me." She grinned at him triumphantly, "I did it."

"Yes you did."

"I did it!" She put her coffee down and threw herself into his arms, kissing him hard, "I couldn't have done it without you, Ben. I love you, I love you so much!"

Ben kissed her back, smiling against her mouth as she squirmed against him with excitement. He was happy that Evelyn was so happy. It was what he had wanted for so long. They had been married for just over a year and every time he thought back to that day, he couldn't help but smile. She had looked beautiful in her dress and the small, simple wedding had been just what they both wanted. It had been a blissful year and he never wanted the feeling to end.

"Let's celebrate," she pulled back from him.

"It's eight-thirty in the morning!"

"I don't care, let's go for brunch or something."

"It's still only eight-thirty."

"A croissant then, anything. Come on, Ben! This is the first day of the beginning of my career and I want to celebrate it with the man I love," She wound her arms around her neck and kissed him softly, "please?"

Ben could never resist her, so he nodded and they made their way out to the nearest café. Evelyn appeared to be walking on air. She held his hand tightly, but she held her head high and kept grinning inanely at him.

"People are going to think you're crazy," he told her lovingly.

"I don't care," she replied, "I don't care what anyone thinks anymore." She sighed happily and Ben smiled. During her second year at Harvard, Evelyn had really seemed to blossom. She had made friends with some girls in her year and had even managed to rise above the stares and points from fellow students who knew about what she had done. There had been one awkward moment when she had come face to face with Sandra Maxwell in the street, but the two had managed to pass each other without causing a scene.

"I'll have two jelly donuts," she announced to the girl behind the counter.

"Two?" Ben raised his eyebrows.

"I'm celebrating," she declared as she bit into the first one, "and nothing is going to spoil this."

SSSS

Evelyn's euphoria lasted for two weeks after she began working at Burns &Associates. At the end of her first day, she had come racing home, full of news to tell Ben and had rambled on for hours about the people she had met and the work she was going to be doing. Ben didn't care, he was just glad to see her so thrilled.

At the end of her second week, however, she came home in floods of tears and for a horrible moment, Ben thought she had been fired.

"What is it?" he asked, as she slammed the apartment door and stood with her head in her hands. "Evelyn, what happened?"

"It…all went wrong!" she sobbed loudly, "I made a mistake and it all went wrong!" She let him take her in his arms and hold her while she cried, "Mr Burns himself told me I did the wrong thing!"

Ben didn't know what to say, so he merely held her and rubbed her back as if she were a child, "I'm sure it's not as bad as you think."

"It is!" she pulled back, her face tear-stained and her eyes red, "You should have seen the look on his face when he told me. He was so angry, Ben. I'll probably find my letter of severance on my chair when I go in tomorrow."

"You're overreacting," he tried to soothe her, "Come on, dinner's ready. I made your favourite."

Numbly, she followed him into the kitchen where he dished up her favourite spaghetti and put it in front of her. She sat and stared at it, making no move to lift her cutlery.

"Evelyn, you need to eat."

"My life is over," she said sadly. Before he could stop himself, Ben started to laugh. Evelyn's head shot up and she glared at him angrily. "I'm glad someone thinks it's so damn funny!"

"I'm sorry," he said, "but you're making a mountain out of a molehill! Everyone makes mistakes."

"Except for you, Boy Scout Ben Stone." Her words had an icy edge to them.

Ben sighed, "That's not fair."

"It was only last week you were telling me how wonderful Albert Wentworth thinks you are and now, here I am, screwing up left right and centre!" She pushed her plate away from her viciously, "You've no idea what it's like for me."

"I live with you, Evelyn, I've got a pretty good idea."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" She looked at him dangerously.

"All I'm saying is, you can't let yourself sink into some form of depression every time something goes wrong at work. It's going to happen and happen often and you have to deal with it."

"Are you saying that I'm a screw-up? That I'm not going to make a go of my job?"

"No, that's not what I'm…"

"Screw you, Ben. Screw you!" Evelyn stood up and stormed to the apartment door.

"Evelyn!" he called after her, but she was gone, banging the door behind her.

SSSS

"I'm sorry," she apologised a few hours later as she stood at the bedroom door.

Ben, who had been in bed for hours but hadn't been able to sleep, looked at her over the papers he was reading, "Where have you been?"

She came into the bedroom and shrugged, "Just walking around. Went and had a drink. I'm not drunk," she said before he could say anything.

"I wasn't about to suggest you were," he defended himself.

Evelyn sat down on her side of the bed with her back to him, "You're right. It's not the end of the world. It's just that…I don't know, maybe I expect too much of myself."

Ben put his papers down and crawled towards her. Putting his arms around her waist, he kissed her neck, "You do, and you shouldn't."

"I just want everyone to think I can do a good job," she said, "I'm sick of being known as somebody who always messes up."

"Nobody thinks that," he told her, easing her suit jacket off of her shoulders, "Now, come to bed."

Evelyn turned to face him and returned his kiss, "Someone's after something."

"My conjugal rights," he told her. "I think I deserve them, don't you?"

December 1977

Six months later

"Do you want a glass of water?" Ben stood at the bathroom door listening while Evelyn threw up.

"No," she replied weakly, "I don't think I could keep it down."

He pushed the door open slightly and saw her sitting next to the toilet, her face slick with sweat, "Are you ok?"

"I don't know what's wrong," she replied, "I feel like shit." He smiled sympathetically, "And if you say I look like shit too, I'll kill you."

"I'd like to see you try," he replied.

Evelyn smiled, but it soon dropped from her face and she turned to vomit once more into the bowl. Ben stepped back and closed the door. He made his way into the kitchen to make her some tea, running over in his mind what she had eaten for the past few days. They had both eaten the same things as far as he could remember and he felt fine. But for the past three days, Evelyn had looked and felt like hell, spending her mornings before going to work in the bathroom just as she was this morning. He had a niggling thought at the back of his mind, but he was afraid to voice it.

Evelyn came into the kitchen, pushing her hair back from her face. "Thanks," she took the proffered cup from him and sipped the liquid, "God, I wish I knew what this bug was. It's driving me crazy." She sat down on the edge of the sofa.

"Maybe it's not a bug," Ben said carefully.

"What do you mean?" she replied, rubbing her hand over her eyes.

"You might be..."

"What?"

"Pregnant."

Evelyn froze. She looked from Ben to the floor and back again, "Pregnant?"

"Morning sickness," he pointed out, "remember when you were expecting Christopher? You told me that you were sick for months."

Evelyn nodded slowly, "I remember." She looked at him fearfully, "Do you really think I could be?"

"We haven't exactly been careful," he reminded her.

She didn't say anything for a long moment, "Maybe I should go to the doctor."

He nodded, "You should. We should know, one way or the other."

"If…if I was pregnant," she said slowly, "how would you feel about it?"

Ben paused. It had been nearly two years since Christopher died and at times, the pain still felt so raw that it caused him physical pain. He would think about what his son would look like, what he would be doing, how happy they would be together. He looked at her, "I think it would be great."

Evelyn nodded, "Yeah, yeah it would be."

SSSS

An hour later, she emerged from the doctor's surgery to where Ben was waiting. She was pale and her eyes looked huge in her face with her hair scraped back. He stood up and looked at her expectantly.

"I'm pregnant," she told him quietly.

He felt like grabbing her and spinning her around in his arms and kissing her hard on the mouth in front of everyone, but he didn't. He pulled her gently to him and kissed her. "That's great," he told her quietly, pushing a stray lock of hair away from her face.

Evelyn nodded, but tears hovered in her eyes, "Yeah it is." She let him lead her back outside to where they had left the car and then she burst into tears.

"Evelyn…" he held her to him and hugged her gently, "don't cry, please don't cry."

"It's going to be different this time, Ben, isn't it?" she asked, her voice muffled against his chest.

"It's going to be different this time," he echoed, "we're going to have a healthy baby and we're going to be a family."

She pulled back and looked at him, "What am I going to do about work?"

"Well…"

"I mean, I love my job and I love the people and…and I'm just finding my feet…" she trailed off, "but I'm having your baby and I want that too."

"There's no law that says you can't have both."

"Do you think they'll fire me?"

"For getting pregnant? Of course not, and if they do, I'll be on them before they can say maternity leave."