Obi/OC implied (really implied). Ixais, or Asis for short, is forced to leave the Jedi order when Palpatine threatens to expose her relationship with Obi-Wan (I hope to create some kind of backstory for this soon, so that it will make more sense. Asis isn't human, but her species is almost identical...it's in my head, just not on the computer yet). This is the first fic that I've posted, so be gentle please. Bold printSong lyrics. Italicsflashbacks.
the song is "good woman" by Cat Power
I want to be a good woman, and I want for you to be a good man.
She stared at herself in the mirror, unfamiliar with the image. The foreign garment clung to her body in a way that her tunics never had, and the silky, almost water-like material made her feel naked. The absence of weight at her hip was maddening, knowing that a lightsaber would never rest there again. And the delicate headband she wore, a sign of royalty crafted from the lightest metal, bowed her head in its unbearable weight. A tear rolled solemnly down her cheek and splashed unceremoniously upon her pale blue gown.
"I can't do this," she whispered to her reflection. It silently reminded her that she had to.
And this is why I will be leaving, and this is why I can't see you no more.
His voice was cutting, and full of malice. And yet, that's what she had expected from the Sith lord, so it was a wonder that it had rendered her paralyzed. Or maybe it was what he was telling her; that she would either leave the Order, and thus Obi-Wan or he would expose their secret and destroy both of their lives. She didn't want to do this, because the Jedi had become so much more than her teachers and friends; they were her family. And Obi-Wan was her heart. But she could never let Palpatine hurt him. She had to leave.
I will miss your heart so tender, and I will love this love forever.
Taking a shaky breath, she turned to collect her bag. It was a meager little thing, made of worn leather and bearing only a few belongings. And as she reached for it on the bed, her small hand wandered to the smooth, crisp sheets. Skating her fingertips over the starch cotton, memories of warm, summer nights filled her mind. Nights when Obi-Wan would sneak into her room to stretch his strong body along hers, and cradle her gently. Limbs intertwined and fingers laced, her head would rest comfortably in the crook of his neck and they slept soundly in each other's embrace. Her heart ached at the knowledge that those nights were over, and not to happen again. She had to do the right thing, and let him go.
I don't want to be a bad woman, and I can't stand to see you be a bad man.
"Leave, Princess," Palpatine spoke in a deceiving tone; he almost sounded as though he cared. "You have a family to return to should you be expelled from the Jedi Order…but where would your dear Obi-Wan go? Not with you, surely," he growled, acknowledging that he was hitting on a sensitive subject. "I doubt your kin would take well to their only heir bringing home a human as her mate," Palpatine sneered, pleased with the apparent pain in the Elfling's face.
I will miss your heart so tender, and I will love this love forever.
She clutched her bag in one hand, the lightsaber in the other, as she walked through the quiet halls of the Temple. She was headed to the main corridor, where the Council and other Masters had gathered around a large conference table, the civil war of the Yuriko system being the present topic.
And this is why I am leaving.
"I need to speak with you, Master," her tone was more desperate than she had meant for it to be, but she should have known that she wouldn't be able to hide her pain. Mace Windu smiled at the sight of his old apprentice, but the corners of his mouth swiftly fell. The anxiety and pain she felt emanated off of her and hit him hard.
"Of course, Ixais," Mace spoke soothingly, guiding her slowly into a meditation room. He sensed that he needed to calm his ailing student, as the Force crackled around her with uncontrolled emotions. And so when she asked, "how long," he knew that denial would only upset her more. Sighing, he answered, "Since the beginning," and pretended not to see the torment flash across her normally pleasant features. "I had hoped one of you would end it before it grew serious, but at the same time I didn't want to tell either of you to stop," he said quietly. Noting the defeat written on her face, he added, "I just couldn't bring myself to tell the Padawan I thought of as a daughter not to fall in love with the boy that she was destined to love... and who loved her back to no end." At this the woman broke into tears, and fell to the cold floor. Crouching down next to her, Mace allowed a strong hand to rest lightly on her crumpled shoulders. "I only wish that you two had not been bound to fall in love. And now, what is it that you wished to tell me, Asis?"
"I'm going home."
And this is why I can't see you no more.
Many wary eyes had already stared strangely upon their fellow Jedi, who now wore a dress instead of a tunic and leggings as she descended the grand staircase to the main corridor. Some had even called out her name in question, unsure of what she was about to do. And yet as she approached the table, where every Jedi Master sat deep in conversation, only one had the courage to speak.
"Leaving us, you are?" Master Yoda's voice croaked gently, his head tilted slightly to the side in question. His eyes sparkled with unspoken knowledge, and yet they held an honest question to Asis. She held his gaze for a long as she could, before turning to face Mace, who shook his head in denial.
"Please don't do this, Asis," he pleaded. Out of the corner of his vision, he saw Obi-Wan come forth. Disbelief plagued the man's face as he stared unashamedly at his secret lover. Refusing to look at Obi-Wan, Asis held out her lightsaber.
"I can never th-thank you enough. You've-you have taught me so many things, and I will never forget them," her voice wavered as tears burned her cornflower blue eyes. Casting her eyes downwards, she continued, "But I'm afraid that the time has come for me to l-leave." She shoved her hand forward, urging Mace Windu to take her lightsaber, as though it was the only thing left that tied her to the Jedi. Sadly, he reached out and grasped the cool metal hilt. He too felt the stinging of tears as he heard her whisper, "take care of each other," before she walked out.
And this is why I am lying when I say that I don't love you no more.
And as she disappeared, Obi-Wan swore that he heard her voice in his head, asking for forgiveness and whispering, "I love you."
reviews welcome...