Part Eighteen
Their predecessors gone, Weiss—and Shioshiro and Nagi—are back at their usual place, still parked and living in the RV as if they haven't just finished a monumental mission side by side with almost mirror images of who they could have become.
It is late, having been nearly midnight when they at last arrived home after the mission, and though their thoughts linger a little on what Azami, Ayame, Rindou, and Shion will be up to until they need them for the final battle, it has been a tiring few days, tiring enough to want nothing more than a good night's rest.
Of course, for these young men, that never comes easy.
"Asuka…"
The name has been whispered from nicotine-stained lips, their owner tossing madly on his bed, head whipping from one side of his pillow to the other. His distress is obvious. His pain is real and understandable. But what can be done to stop a nightmare that stretches beyond the mind into one's very life…?
Youji bid his good nights immediately, now stretched out beneath his covers, bare from the waist up. His wheat-colored hair lays matted to his skin, sweat falling from his temples. His nightmare is one he has often, and even now, after finding some common ground and discovering a small bit of hope suitable enough to cling to, he is haunted still.
"Asuka…forgive me…" beseeches his broken voice. "…why…why did you have to forget me…betray me…choose him…over me…why…why did you make me kill you…"
He thrashes, his hands involuntarily reaching up as if to curl around some poor woman's fragile neck, and he squeezes, not knowing his victim is nothing but air.
"I loved you…I love you…Asuka…Asuka…!"
Youji gasps, eyes wide suddenly as he wakes, drenched, his breathing irregular. He pushes back the hair that has fallen forward in front of his face, features contorting in anger. Anger not directed at the phantom in his dreams, but at the only person he has ever blamed for it all.
"Idiot…what…the hell…is wrong with you…?" he chastises himself, pulling tightly at his own hair as he once again runs a hand through it. Teeth clenched, he pushes the covers away, snatches his pack of cigarettes and his lighter from the floor beside his bed, and heads for the door.
He needs air. His kind of air.
Outside it is cool, too cool to be out there in nothing but thin slacks, but Youji doesn't seem to notice or care. He is still over-heated from his dream, and warmed by his cigarette.
Angry at everything, he puffs out white-grey smoke against the clear sky, at the back of the RV so as not to have to deal with any of the others. Ran and Ken were still up last he checked, and Shioshiro always seems to be somewhere. In fact Youji is rather surprised the kid has not found him yet…
"Konbanwa, Yotan."
Damn that kid and his perfect timing. Youji puffs. "You want something?"
The shuffling of feet. "You look a little wrecked. Nightmare?"
"Not right now, okay? I just want to be alone."
More shuffling. Shioshiro brings himself up next to Youji despite the blonde's best attempts to keep his distance. "You really going to be stubborn with me again. Haven't we been through this enough? Please, Uncle Youji, if there is anything I can do--"
"That's just it." Youji breaks in, turning his head with a slightly strained but very real and grateful smile. "You've done all you can. I talked with Azami, you yourself gave me hope about a girl out there somewhere, waiting for me, and…you're giving all of us hope that we'll get out of here…find something…greater than this…and live. You've done more than I ever would have thought to ask for, kiddo. I just want to be alone right now, okay? Even all you've done doesn't take care of everything in a night. You know that."
Shioshiro smiles at his senior's wisdom. He wasn't counting on that—wisdom—but he is certainly thankful for it. "I do know that. I know nothing happens over night. But…if you ever do need someone to talk to…"
"You're the first one I'm coming to." Youji smiles, a little less strained for its sincerity.
"Good. Well…I guess I better hit the sack. See you in the morning, Yotan."
"Yeah…sure thing."
Youji doesn't watch as Shioshiro moves to walk around the RV towards the front, but when he feels that he is once again alone, he sighs, releasing a deep breath of smoke. "Asuka…please…just give me some peace, huh. I love you…but…I just wanna move on, ya know? I…I want another chance…to do things better. Please…"
Like a prayer desperate to be answered, Youji's trails of smoke waft further and further upwards into the night air. His prayer is desperate but still full of hope, and it is all thanks to a certain brunette.
Coming around to the front of the RV, the brunette in question is in sight of the main door but hides quickly along the side upon seeing his redheaded father sitting on the small step there, mainly because he sees now that his other father is coming out that very door and is moving to sit down, squeezing in rather close to Ran on that small step.
Not one to interrupt a moment like this, Shioshiro remains still and quiet, peaking out at the pair with a beaming smile. It has been too long since he saw such a sight. Too long.
Watching as Ran adjusts himself to Ken's presence, Shioshiro's smile brightens further still because the redhead is not adjusting himself away, just…more settled. More comfortable. And for them to be comfortable around one another when their legs are pretty much touching as they sit on that step, Shioshiro feels more accomplished than he did earlier in the evening with their completed mission.
Straining to hear as the pair begins to speak, Shioshiro listens carefully, not caring in the least that he is as good as peeping on his own parents.
"So…can't sleep or somethin'?" Ken asks conversationally, tilting his head at his companion.
The corner of Ran's mouth twitches up, very nearly forming a smile. "That would explain this whole being-up-at-one-in-the-morning thing, now wouldn't it?" he says somewhat playfully, mouth twitching a little further as he stares down at his hands, afraid he might smile for real if he dares look Ken in the eyes just now.
"Was that a joke?" Ken teases, nudging Ran a little. "Weak but…a joke. Next thing you know you'll be laughing at my klutziness instead of scowling with an 'Honestly, Ken, can't you do anything?' Hehe." Ken's mimicking once again has taken on a deep, mocking tone, but he laughs at his own joke, not meaning it at all seriously.
Which is why he is taken slightly aback when Ran turns to him with a frown. "That really is how I treat you, isn't it? Condescending, cold. I'm sorry, Ken. It must have been so difficult for you…loving someone like me."
Ken echoes that frown, nudging Ran with a little more force. "Hey, cut it out. First, the loving part is not past tense. And second…it was hard, but not terrible. Yeah, you were condescending and cold, but once in a while you could…be really…okay. I mean, if you were a complete jackass all the time no one could love you, and in case you aren't aware of it, I am not the only person who does. Hiro, Omi, Youji, Shion."
Ran twitches a little at that, believing for a moment he should deny that claim, but he realizes all too quickly he cannot…and has no real desire to.
"Besides, I thought we were past the whole self-loathing part and on to beginning the…cute and cuddling part." Ken smirks, slipping his hand over Ran's since it had been tempting him by resting on the redhead's knee.
Swallowing hard, Ran stares down at the hand now caressing the back of his and then looks back up into Ken's confident expression. He sees devotion there. Love. Promise. Possibility.
"Aya…" Ken says softly, his tone only barely betraying his mischievousness. "…feel like being cute and cuddling with me for a while…?"
Ran is frozen at first, but when he opens his mouth to finally speak he finds his voice gets caught as Ken's other hand reaches up to gently brush his cheek. Violet eyes close and pale skin leans into that offered touch. With his eyes shut and their skin touching only where Ken's hand is on his hand and his face, Ran can acutely hear everything around them—the chirping of insects, the rustle of the wind in the distant trees, the sound of Ken's breathing so even while he knows his own is coming in gasps.
How foolish. Ran feels truly foolish for getting so caught up in something so simple. But there has been little intimacy in their relationship thus far. A few stolen kisses, but nothing more. This…this calming touch…breaches yet another boundary.
"Ken…" Ran breathes, eyes still closed. "…what…exactly…is your definition of…cute and cuddly?"
A laugh answers, Ken's voice sounding much closer to Ran than before. "I could tell you." he whispers, breath dancing across Ran's skin. "But you know me. I prefer action."
When lightly pressured lips touch his, Ran is not at all surprised. They feather over his own, light, unassuming and unhurried, a far cry from the last few kisses they shared. It reminds Ran of their first kiss when Ken was taking a very dire risk and Ran chose to feign sleep. Actually, one reason for the familiarity might be Ran's current level of reciprocation.
"Aya…?" Ken prompts, pulled only slightly away, just enough to speak. "You gonna join in any time soon? Coz…it'd be a lot more fun…if you kissed back."
Ran opens his eyes and all he sees is a sea of warm brown. Ken accepts this sign and moves that centimeter forward again for their lips to meet. This time, with their eyes too close to see anything but color, Ran moves in time with the lips on his, deciding not to feel foolish again, but feeling blessed that he can take such a gift and give it back.
Ken still leads and Ran follows at every turn, every curve. When Ken carefully pulls on Ran's lower lip, sucking just slightly, nipping just slightly, Ran fails miserably at suppressing the tremor that rips through him. He trembles. It has been ages since he felt something so…private and intimate. Something that feels so deliciously right.
Ran has never denied finding Ken attractive. He has never denied having feelings for the man. But there are still apprehensions. He never once thought his hidden desires would be given opportunity to test such things out, and now…in the midst of it all…he still wonders if he deserves the happiness swelling in his chest.
As Ken's tongue begins to trace his lips, Ran decides this particular experiment had better come to an end. Pulling back, Ran knows Ken is going to be hurt, at least questioning, so as he is sitting up he takes the hand that is still beneath Ken's and turns it over to lace their fingers together.
When brown meets violet once again, there is a little questioning, but understanding too, enough that Ken does not need to ask why, instead squeezing Ran's hand in thanks.
Something is always better than nothing.
"Slow." Ken states, repeating an earlier promise. "Yeah…well…thanks for the cute and cuddly, Aya. Goodnight." With a final squeeze of Ran's hand, Ken lets it go, leaning over to place a quick kiss to Ran's temple before standing and heading back inside.
Ran watches him go, a warmth spreading through him where Ken's touch had been on his hand, his temple, and his lips. "Goodnight…Ken."
The smile on Shioshiro's face is close to bursting, so wide for a moment he nearly laughs aloud. Gathering himself as best he can, he waits only a moment more before coming out of hiding to head inside. He shares a smile with his father as he passes, but says nothing. And for that Ran is grateful.
Upon entering the RV Shioshiro sees that Ken has moved quickly and is nowhere in sight, meaning he must have already gone to bed. Shioshiro can think of nothing better than to do likewise. As he moves towards his own room, however, he sees that the one next to his, Omi and Nagi's—Nagi having for some time been sleeping on Omi's floor rather than the couch—has its door open a crack.
To follow through with the night's spying, Shioshiro peers inside. There he sees that Nagi is no longer a resident of Omi's floor.
Pulling back, Shioshiro shuts the door completely, offering his friends a little more privacy, and turns towards his final destination.
The second he steps inside his own room, however, his mind drifts to Youji still outside and the warmth he had been feeling fades.
"You'll find her, Yotan." he muses as he shuts his own door behind him, ever thankful that Ran offered the room to him and has been sleeping on the couch in Nagi's stead. Changing for bed, Shioshiro finds himself fingering the all but forgotten ring on his finger. "Yes, you'll find her, Yotan." he assures…himself. "You have to."
It is too early to get up. Far too early.
That thought runs itself through Omi's head again and again…despite the fact that he is very much awake.
Opening his eyes, the young blonde is met by a mass of brown hair digging into the side of his neck and tickling his face. He smiles. He likes the feeling of Nagi curled in beside him…and pressed tightly against him.
That thought results in a very rapid blush that travels from Omi's cheeks…to down between his legs. He tenses. Youji has a term for such a thing happening upon waking up, but Omi has never cared for it. The name, that is, not the occurrence. He wouldn't mind waking up this way, actually, if he wasn't so embarrassed to be experiencing it with Nagi right next to him. What is he supposed to do…?
A few morning groans slip from Nagi's lips…and go straight to Omi's groin. The older boy holds his breath, thinking that perhaps doing so might still him enough to keep from waking Nagi so he can slip away before the other boy can notice his…problem.
"Ughh…Omi…?"
Damn.
"Mmm…you're all tense. You okay…?" Nagi presses, lifting his head to better look at Omi's expression. The movement rolls Nagi's body a little closer to Omi and the brunette's knee accidentally nudges something he certainly did not expect to find. Nagi's eyes dart down the bed, towards a spot he cannot see clearly since they are tucked beneath the covers. Slowly, he brings his suddenly not so tired eyes back up to Omi's face. "Omi…?"
Omi is shaking, his throat tight. He wants nothing more than to move away, but finds it is the one thing he cannot seem to do. "Nagi…I…I didn't mean…to…I just…I…I'm sorry…"
Regardless of what Omi expected to happen, Nagi does not pull away or sneer in disgust. The smile that slips into the younger boy's expression is actually quite devious. "Omi…you have nothing to be sorry for. It happens. I'm flattered…it happened because of me. If…it is because of me…?" Nagi's voice has dropped to a whisper and as he speaks he presses a palm to Omi's chest, slowly running it down until he finds the hem of Omi's nightshirt and slips up underneath it.
Omi swallows, mind blanking a moment on what Nagi just asked. When he remembers, he nods vaguely. Oh yes, this is all definitely because Nagi is in the picture, and his hormones are thanking the boy for being there. For being here…this moment.
But that does not make it any less shocking when the hand now beneath Omi's nightshirt begins to move lower, and lower still.
"Nagi!" Omi says in a harsh whisper, meaning to flinch away, though he instead twitches his hips against the hand sliding low enough to almost touch his morning surprise. "You…what are you…I thought…you wanted to keep things slow. I mean…you're only 15."
Nagi's hand pauses just before touchdown, stilling on Omi's heated flesh where he can almost feel the beginnings of golden girls he knows are just out of reach. Stopping to think of it like that makes Nagi wonder just what he intends to do, but…it does not change the hot desire swirling in his stomach, knowing that Omi is aching…for and because of him.
It has nearly given the younger boy the very same 'problem' as his friend.
"Actually…I turned 16 about a week before you came for us in Munich. And you're 18 now. So…we're not so young really." Nagi reasons, running his hand horizontally along Omi's hips. He is shaking a little too with the reality of his still groggy actions, but he does not want to stop. "I wanted us…to slow down…because you weren't kissing me for me at first. You wanted escape. Now…things are different. You made it through your biggest challenge in this, Omi. You faced your family. We can just…be us now, can't we? We can…be together, and…not think of anything else. I know there is more we have to do yet, but I would love to forget that for a while."
Omi swallows back his shivers, not certain whether he wants to stop Nagi…or urge him on. "But…isn't this just escaping too?"
"No." Nagi answer simply, heart pounding though he makes a pretty good show of NOT showing it as he begins to bring his hand down into those curls. "It would be…mutual wanting that just happens to be distraction at the same time. It's a…" he brings his face a little closer to Omi's, breath warm and close as he whispers. "…a…win…win…situation…"
Lips touch just as Nagi's fingers are curling around his prize. Though much of him is shaking, he forces his hand to be stable, to not show too much of his fear. He is afraid because he has never experienced what he is searching for this morning, but he wants it. He wants it as much as he knows Omi is wanting, something he can feel in the touch of their mouths and tongues and skin.
Omi is the first to break their kiss, gasping at the feel of Nagi's hand moving ever so slightly. The young blonde would be the first to admit that yes, he has felt such sensation by his own actions before, but never, never has it been another's touch, another's hand.
The difference is staggering.
"Nagi…you don't…have to…"
"I want to. Besides…I do expect some compensation…"
Nuzzling into Omi's soft, bed- tussled hair, Nagi exposes his slim neck to his companion's mouth. Omi's eyes are cloudy at the sensations brought on by Nagi's deft fingers, but he sees the access given him and is not one to miss out or neglect.
Omi immediately presses a hot, open-mouthed kiss to the soft sinew there, running his tongue in long laps along the goose bumps forming. Neither boy has any experience to guide them in this, but instinct drives them forward, making them dizzy as if drunk on too much wine.
Reaching back at the covers with his free hand, Nagi tosses them aside, giving him room to move even closer to Omi and exposing them both to the morning air. Nagi's other hand is still working as he arches his neck to Omi's attention, and both feel a little delirious at the reality of what they are doing. Though they had already decided as much, this is certainly more than a friendship.
"Ah…ah…ah!" Omi stifles himself to as soft a cry as he can. The pressure is steadily building and he needs the release. Desperately. "More…" he gasps, moving his hips faster into that hand, those fingers, the silken touch that seems strangely amplified, as if…as if both of Nagi's hands are there, completely surrounding him, even though he knows only one is actually touching him.
Realization makes Omi even fonder of Nagi's gift than he was before.
"Nagi…please…!"
The smaller boy grins into the blonde hair that seems somehow all around him, amazed that Omi can continue lavishing attention on his neck, and…now his ear, oh how wonderful! And Nagi complies in his rapture, increasing the speed and power of his strokes.
This…shared experience…the unity in it…is more beautiful than anything either has ever known. And they know this is nothing compared to what can be shared between two people.
"Nagi…!"
"Omi…do you like this…?"
"…ye…yesss…"
"Does it…scare you?"
"It…ahh…a… little, but I…I'm glad…you and me…"
"Yes…me too."
"Nagi…I…I'm…going to…I…Ah!"
"Hey, Omi, you okay? It sounds like someone's killing you in there."
Shit. Definitely not Nagi's voice.
The door to the room suddenly opens, and with Nagi's hand still down Omi's pants, the covers tossed aside, and their obvious disarray and heavy breathing, both boys whip their heads to stare at the intruder, stunned. Talk about being caught in headlights.
For a moment Youji merely stares, taking in the small details that make up a very unexpected picture of the two youngest members of their team. A moment later his blush has caught up and so have his reflexes.
Whipping around and shutting the door nearly completely closed behind him, Youji tries very hard to banish those images. "Way too early in the morning for chibi sex…" he says beneath his breath, then calls a little louder to the pair he just interrupted. "Uh…since it seems you're…okay, Omi…Nagi…I…think I'm gonna…yeah. So…I'll come back to wake you guys in about…ten minutes? Just…don't ever tell me what you did in there."
Once it is certain Youji is long gone and the door is safely shut again, Omi and Nagi look at each other, down at the stain on the front of Omi's shorts and the lump created by Nagi's hand still being trapped beneath the fabric, and both of them burst into laughter.
The look on Youji's face was positively priceless.
"Okay, everyone understand what needs to be done?" Shioshiro asks the room, looking out at his willing team after having explained the many details of what their next mission will entail. He is met by confident looks all around and nods of approval. This group has truly become a working team, and there are less and less doubts in their abilities as each new mission comes up. "Good. Then we better start getting ready to go. Birman is handling our interior work. That's you, Oran. The rest of us should be able to handle things once you're settled. If that's all…let's get to work."
The group splits off, all with their own things to pack and prepare for. Despite the ease at getting wrapped up in their own tasks, however, Ken—who rarely gets too focused on one thing unless he really loves it—notices that Shioshiro isn't quite as relaxed as he would expect. The boy does not seem nervous for the mission directly as much as he seems…preoccupied.
The last time Shioshiro acted like this it was because he was worrying about Ken's growing fondness for missions. If there is a similar fight ahead to match the internal battle Ken is still facing, the ex-soccer star would much rather know straight out then wait for it to rear its head.
"Hiro…can I talk to you for a sec?"
Having just finished loading some extra equipment from the RV into the borrowed van they will be taking to the mission site, Shioshiro wipes his brow, smiling his common smile as he turns to his father. The two of them are alone outside the RV, the only two within hearing distance. "Of course, Kento. What is it?"
Ken tosses Shioshiro his own common, goofy grin, not exactly sure how to approach this. "Well…I just…I've kinda been noticing…that…you…seem a little…off. And…the last time you acted like this, you were worried about me, so…I was wondering…I mean…there isn't anything else, right? I'm not supposed to…go psycho and kill everyone or anything…right?" There is definite humor in Ken's tone, but a frightened humor.
Wringing his hands, both violet eyes drawn down to look at them, Shioshiro once again finds himself fingering his ring. He doesn't mean to, it just…seems like the prudent thing to do, going along with what is plaguing him just now.
Ken notices this, and as his son begins to speak, he starts to realize that for once this has nothing to do with him.
"I'm a little…scared…to be honest." speaks Shioshiro's more mellow tone, the one so seldom heard. "There's something I…need to make sure happens with this mission, and…if it doesn't happen…if…I fail…then…Yue…"
"Yue…? Is that…your girl?"
Shioshiro's head darts up, his hands flying to his sides and nearly behind his back as if to hide them. "Please, Kento, don't ask me. Not now. When this mission is over, if it all works the way it should, then…I'll tell you all about her, I promise. But until then…please…don't ask."
"Are her parents at the school or something?" Ken questions, half thinking he should drop things completely, but swayed enough by his other half to want to know as much as possible.
Shioshiro shakes his head. "It's complicated. Her parents don't really have anything to do with the school, but…in the area, and…I…have to make sure that…some things happen, or…it won't work out for her parents the way it's supposed to. I mean…I'm wrecking things anyway, the way things were for her parents in my time, but…I have to…and…I don't know if this is going to work, and…if she's not…if she's never…Kento, can we please not talk about this?" Something sounding almost like panic—tear-drenched panic—is clear in Shioshiro's voice, and Ken instantly forgets all other questions he might have.
Shioshiro is not crying, far from it, but Ken can hear the need to express the pain Shioshiro is feeling and he is going to give his son the opportunity.
A single stride and Ken has Shioshiro in his arms, hugging him for all the taller youth is worth.
"Hey…it'll all work out." Ken says softly beside his son's ear, holding back a laugh at the tight hold the other brunette has trapped him in. "You've done so much to make sure me and Aya work out. I'm sure things with your girl will work out too. I mean…you love her, right?"
Ken feels Shioshiro nod against his shoulder.
"Then there's nothing to worry about. Love always finds away. Just look at your parents. I even got to steal a kiss from Aya last night without him faking sleep or wanting to push me away. And it's all because of you. Because you were given this chance. Things will work out for you too. I know it."
What tears were too stubborn to fall before fall quite easily now, drawn out by the compassion, the simple act of being there that Ken is offering, all things Shioshiro has been missing for so long. "Kento…I…thank you. I almost forgot how…you always know the right thing to say."
Ken pulls back just enough to send Shioshiro his most luminous smile, one the other brunette has often seen…when passing by a mirror. "I'm your Dad. Of course I always know what to say. Now, come on. We gotta get this stuff loaded. But I promise you, this mission is just one more we're gonna get right. You got that?"
His own smile stretching to match his father's, Shioshiro chuckles through the few tears that managed to slip from his violets. "Sure thing, Kento. As long as I have you."
A slap on the back nearly sends Shioshiro reeling and suddenly Ken has released him, laughing perhaps a little too freely. "Baka. When would you ever not have me?" the shorter brunette grins.
Something very sharp and very unwelcome winds its way into Shioshiro's heart and he does his best to keep the pain from showing on his face. "You're right, Kento." he smiles, demanding of himself that it appear as real as he means for it to. "What was I thinking…"
tbc...
A/N: I am so sorry it's been...yikes almost a month! Better get to questions so I can post this puppy.
Amakurikara: Weiss Side B is the current installment of Weiss, a new manga. Just google it, coz I forget the sites with info. It's great though, from what I've read thus far.
M4r1-ch4n: Looks? In my story? Think OVA. I like SOME of the Gluhen looks but...no. Ran and Ken's hair...both a little longer.
Krysana: I LOVE YOU! Senpan. MUST be a guy, don't you think? If you google the name you only get males. Really. Hmmm...what shall I do with this...?
HeatherR: Very good, the Death card does mean change. And that's all I'm going to say.
Grasshopper: Can I just say you are awesome. All writers dream of a reviewer like you! Thank you so much for the comments. I really cherish them and have so much fun reading them. "If I didn't know any better, though, I'd swear that Hiro was Shion's reincarnation." Haha. So true. Not true, but I see what you mean. Hmmm...two chapters I believe until Yuushi will be fully yoursto grope all you want. :-) Hope you liked this chapter too.
And I hope everyone enjoyed this installment. I promise to work a little faster (like you haven't heard that before) and get this done. Really. Gluhen nextm as in AT Koua, so be prepared for Ran in glasses. Yay! Anyhoo, love you all, minna, and don't neglect that review button.
Crim