Lord of the Everlasting Donuts

by Fellowship of the Band Geeks

It’s the LotR we all love, with a twist. Who is the Lord of the Everlasting Donut? Humorous and mindless fluff. By The Chocoholic Snail of Doom, with help from the Grim Reaper.

1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings, or any related characters. If a character appears (as it will later) that's not in the book or movie, chances are it's mine.

Chapter 1

Hurry up Pippin! We've got things to do!" Merry yelled from atop his pony.

"Just a minute! I forgot something!" Pippin said, running back to his Hobbit hole. Sam slapped his forehead and Frodo rolled his eyes. Pippin came out, stuffing a brown bag into his pocket.

"What's that?" Merry asked.

"Nothing important." Pippin said quickly. Merry narrowed his eyes in thought. He and Pippin had always shared everything with each other. Whatever it was, it had to be important enough for Pippin to run back in and get it. But what was it that Pippin didn't want to tell him? What indeed.

Later, when the hobbits were wandering about...

"Hey look!" Sam shouted loudly. Frodo immediately shushed him. Sam tried again. "Hey look!"

"Whaaaaat!" Merry and Pippin shouted in unison. Frodo shushed them too.

"Why are you shushing everybody all of a sudden?" Pippin asked.

"BECAUSE WE ARE BEING CHASED BY THE SERVANTS OF SAURON! THAT'S WHY!" Frodo screamed. Sam, Merry, and Pippin imediantly shushed him. Frodo glared daggers at them. If there is such a thing anyway.

"How does one glare daggers?" Pippin asked the author.

"It's an expression." the author explained to the naive Hobbit.

"Ohh. What does naive mean?" Pippin asked the author.

"Well..." the author began but never had a chance to finish.

"CAN WE PLEASE GET BACK TO THE STORY?" Sam shouted. Frodo, Merry, Pippin, and the author immediately shushed him.

The author backspaced and started over.

Later, when the hobbits were wandering about.

"Hey look!" Sam said in a moderate tone of voice.

"Whaaaaaat!" Merry and Pippin asked in a moderate tone of voice.

"Why are we all talking in a moderate tone of voice?" Pippin asked in a moderate tone of voice.

"If you yell, then Frodo will shush and the same thing will happen again." the author explained to the naive Hobbit.

"Ahhh. I see. What does naive mean?" Pippin asked.

"JUST DO THE STORY LINE ALREADY!" the frustrated author screamed. Frodo immediately shushed the author. The author then decided this chapter was going absolutely nowhere and skipped it entirely.