Chapter 12 (Beatrice)

The room Helen would host the session with Beatrice and the Cliffhangers was small and without any character. The walls were painted a dull yellow and the windows were small. Several motivational and landscape posters were stuck one of the walls. The only furniture it contained was a circle of plastic chairs of different colours. Helen had positioned one for herself and one for Beatrice directly in front of her, a few yards away.

Beatrice entered without knocking, with an air of arrogance about her. Helen couldn't help but notice how striking Beatrice was. She was beautiful in an ice-queen way. Her eyes seemed capable of drilling holes into someone, but the fact that they held no emotion made her appear as an empty vessel. Beatrice sat down, crossing one leg over the other. Her hands rested casually between her legs. Helen immediately felt she was too comfortable. She stared at Beatrice, but was unable to make her look away or read her raise.

"Beatrice," she started.

"Helen." Was the reply, interrupting her introduction.

Helen swallowed. She felt very uneasy and even more intimidated. The girl was too composed, too in control. Helen knew not to show her own feelings and in a steady voice asked "Have you settled in alright?"

"Yes, when you've been moved around as much as I have, you adapt quickly."

"I see." Helen swallowed subconsciously; she was about to ask the question that had been burning in her all day. "And your group, how do you find them?"

"They are alright. I get along with David really well. We check out chicks together."

Helen knew that she visibly raised her eyebrows. Beatrice was getting her right where she wanted. Helen wouldn't dare ask which "chicks", and knowing about David's interest in Daisy put her instantly on edge.

Beatrice continued. "The others are alright. Shelby is so hot."

Helen felt a surge of relief.

"Pity she's such a bitch though." Beatrice continued. "The girls seem very uncomfortable around me. Probably because I'm gay. It's the same with the boys, actually, but David is cool."

"So you're not fitting in that well?"

"No, but who cares?"

"We do, Beatrice. If you are unhappy of don't fit into a group, we could move you."

"No, don't bother. I'm used to being an outcast because I'm gay."

The fact that she was repeating "I'm gay" made Helen see Peter's point. It was as though Beatrice was trying to convince herself of it. Or perhaps make a point. Either way it all came down to attention seeking. She made a note and saw Beatrice frown at her. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"

"You're the councilor, aren't you meant to ask questions?"

Helen leaned back in her chair, thinking. "Alright, how are your parents?"

"Don't know, don't care."

"So you don't miss them at all?"

"No. It's such a relief to be away from them and their preaching. God says this, God says that and you will burn in hell for what you are doing. Can you believe they actually took me to a priest to be exorcised? It's not like I chose to be gay and they can't see past the bible."

Helen made a note as to how she never used the term "lesbian"; it was "gay" and nothing further. "Your file says you were quiet involved in the church. It says you sang in the choir and led a youth group."

Beatrice paused, thinking about what to say next. "That's before I realized that it was a load of garbage, that all they, the church and my parents, wanted to do was control me. It was Amy who showed me that."

Helen knew from the file that Amy was the teacher Beatrice had the affair with. She remained quiet, knowing that Beatrice would lead the session in her own direction now.

"Amy saw I wasn't seeing life for what it is. We quickly became friends. The school wasn't happy about a student and teacher being friends, but Amy didn't care and neither did I. I was falling in love with her and she was falling in love with me. We didn't care about anything except each other. The sex was great. It was all great."

She stopped, as though inviting Helen to ask question. Helen paused, her mind racing, searching for her next move. She decided to take the conversation back to the Cliffhangers.

"As this is our first session, I have to do some house-keeping. Bosses orders and all that." Helen said, trying to become more familiar with Beatrice. "It is important that you get along with your group, as soon you will be having group sessions. So I need to know if you would like to be moved."

"I wouldn't fit in any group here." She said as though it didn't matter to her. "It's because I'm gay and not ashamed of it. It makes everyone uncomfortable, so whether I stay with the Cliffhangers or not, it wont make much difference."

Helen nodded, but she was thinking about the Cliffhangers, who hadn't taken well to the newcomer. Most of all she was thinking about Daisy. She wanted to remove Beatrice from the group, but knew it wasn't her decision to make. It would come up with Peter later on. He would know what to do with her.

"So how did you end up at Horizon?" Beatrice asked. "Hopefully you aren't as disturbed as all the other people here."

Helen ignored her question. "You shouldn't look at Horizon as full of disturbed people. It is a sanctuary, where teenagers make sense of their lives. Students come here because they need help coping with life."

"I don't. I was sent here because my parents want to cure me of being gay. You should know that being gay isn't a decision, they teach you that at shrink school, don't they? I just am. I don't have a problem. But I can't go home and Amy isn't allowed anywhere near me, so I'm stuck here among the mountains and birdies."

She's asking to be asked questions about Amy, Helen thought. "So you don't like nature?" she would not bring Amy up herself. Beatrice would have to talk about her out of her own. Helen was not going to push her.

"No, I hate it. All this dirt and plants. It's disgusting, I'm a city girl, not some chick from a farm."

"Most students are from a city. They like it here, give it time and you'll probably like it too."

"Unlikely."

Helen looked at the time and shifted in her seat. "Well, that's enough for today. You have to go and see Peter now, I'll see you in group tomorrow."

Beatrice stared blankly at Helen. She then got up and left without saying another word. As the door swung shut Helen sighed. She looked at her notes. She had written very little down, but Beatrice had given away very little. She had an obvious hang up on her pseudo-homosexuality and was not an outcast, but casting herself out.