And again: None of these characters belong to me. So no one sue please! I'm only having fun..
Who's your Daddy?
First scene office Max in a suit sitting at his desk CC in a dark pink maternity outfit sitting on the couch Niles in suit with a blue tie severing tea Fran enters in a blue and green maternity outfit.
Fran: Oh Mr. Sheffield you should see B.
CC: Bee? Where!
Niles: Master Brighton, mother goose. I'll be surprised if she remembers our child's name.
Fran: Well ya could name it CC, she'll neva forget.
Niles: I already suggested that.
Fran: Or ya could…
Max: Miss. Fine what's wrong with Brighton?
Fran: Nothing, he just looks so cute. He's getting ready for his date with Lisa.
Niles: Lisa? The girl he kissed and then took it back?
Fran: Yes Liz Smith. But did ya know he brought it back? So much for like father like son. But they broke up a year ago and now there getting back together. He was even the one who asked her out.
Max: So he's the one who is not afraid of commitment.
Fran: Yup. Once again so much for like father like son.
She exits
Theme song
Next scene
B by the mirror fixing his tie and Fran walks over to him
Fran: Hey B.
B: Fran what do you think?
Fran: Oh honey ya look terrific.
B: I can't wait to see her again.
Fran: Oh sweetie.
B: I just hope it last longer this time.
Fran: Boy ya are nothing like your father.
B: I've got to go get her corsage from the fridge.
He exits and doorbell rings
Fran: Oh go ahead B I'll get it. Niles!
She quickly runs to the couch to sit down but Niles comes in when she is about to sit down
Niles: To late Fran I caught you.
Fran: No I just got off the couch by myself. Yay!
Niles answers the door and a young brunette woman in a blue dress is standing there
Niles: Hello.
Woman: Hi, I'm here for my date with Brighton.
Fran: Oh Lisa! How are ya?
Lisa: Good.
Fran: B'll be right back. So where are ya two going tonight?
Lisa: We…
B enters
B: Lisa.
Lisa: Brighton.
They walk to each other and kiss
Fran: Oh great another Niles and CC.
Lisa stops the kiss
Lisa: Oh that reminds me I have something of yours.
She exits and seconds later comes back with a baby carriage with a baby in it
B: Lisa please tell me that's a doll.
Lisa: No he's your son Chris.
Fran (to Niles): Alright so like father like son is back.
Next scene
Kitchen
Niles and Fran listening by the swinging door then they quickly move away and CC enters
CC: Niles where's the CD player?
Fran: Why?
CC: Was I talking to you?
Fran: Ya are now.
Niles: Will you two be quite Mr. Sheffield just walked in.
The girls run to the door and push Niles
Next scene
Living room B, Lisa and Max
Max: Ah Lisa, it's so good to see you again. And who's this little fellow?
Lisa: His name is Chris and He's your grandson.
Max: What!
Fran os: I told ya he'd over… uh-o.
Max: Alright all of you get out here or you're all fired!
They enter seconds later
Max: Ah here are the three stooges now.
CC: Well we'd love to stay and chat but we've got Lamaze class.
Niles: Right, come on.
They go to the door and since no one is looking CC takes off her shoe as Niles closes the door and they run upstairs
Max: Alright, what are you two going to do?
B: Well we've decided to not get married.
Fran: And again like father like son. Ok look kids, ya go out tonight on you're date and we'll watch Chris.
Lisa: Um I think we'll take Chris so we can all bond.
B: Yeah. Bye. Oh and Lisa is going to be staying here because her parents kicked her out.
He runs to the door
Max: Hold it!
Fran: Yeah, B I am very disappointed in ya. Ya should've been closer to the door.
Max: Miss. Fine. Brighton, Lisa…
Fran: Ok we know ya know everyone's name now get to the point.
Max: I'm trying to! Now Lisa, your parents kicked you out?
Lisa: Yeah please don't call them it'll only make things worse.
Max: Fine tonight you can have your bonding night but tomorrow I'm going to have a talk with your parents.
B: Dad you can't.
Fran: Eh, B. Take my advice and agree He'll forget about it tomorrow.
B: But they live in Paris Dad.
Fran: Feh I hate Paris. Do we really have to go up there?
Max: Miss. Fine.
Fran: Ok ya can stay but me your father and Niles are off limits. Ya had this baby so you're going to take care of him.
B: What about CC?
Fran: Please like she's gonna help ya take care of the baby.
B: Alright fine, Bye.
They exit
Max: You know there is a chance that CC may want to take care of him to practice.
Fran: Yeah, but remember this is the woman who used a chair to back off some little kids.
Max: Shocking she's going to be a mother in a month.
Fran: Yeah. Meanwhile, I'm… I mean you're baby is hungry.
Max: And?
Fran: Niles is at Lamaze.
Max: So…
Fran: Get into that kitchen Peppy La Pew.
She pushes him to the kitchen
Fran: Hut two three four.
Next scene
Niles and CC's room CC on the bed with some headphones on her pregnant belly Niles enters with a pint of ice cream and spoons.
Niles: Hey Dogzilla.
CC: Hey.
Niles: What's wrong?
He climbs into bed with her
CC: Nothing why?
Niles: Well I insulted you and you didn't insult me back.
CC: Oh well… oh I've got nothing.
Niles: So what are we listening to tonight?
Puts his head on her stomach
CC: Daddy's Elvis.
She runs her fingers through his hair and he lifts his head
Niles: I may have his CD's, but you're the one who saw his first concert when you were 20.
CC just laughs and Niles sits up
Niles: CC are you sure you're alright?
CC: Yeah. Niles?
He settles against the head board
Niles: Hm?
CC: I don't want the baby to come yet.
Niles sits up
Niles: What you're in labor!
CC: No I mean in the future.
Niles: Oh.
He takes a bite of the ice cream.
CC: Don't you want to know why?
Niles: No.
CC: Niles!
Niles: I'm kidding! Why?
CC: I'm worried we won't have anything in common.
Niles: Hey you two are gonna have stuff in common sooner or later.
CC: Yeah but what if that later comes much later?
Niles: Well let's see what do you both have in common right now?
CC: Well we both love your singing.
Niles: Oh really?
CC: Yeah, but I personally love Uptown girl.
Niles: You know!
CC: Please you sang it everywhere when we were going out. In the shower while getting dressed, even while you were cleaning.
Niles: Well now I'm not just in love with an Uptown girl, I'm married to one.
CC laughs
CC: Niles do you think I'll be a good mother?
Niles: No. You're going to be a terrific one.
CC: Bellboy.
Niles: There's the CC I married. Hate you.
CC: Hate you more.
They kiss.
Next scene
Kitchen Niles in a suit with a red tie, CC in a black maternity out fit and Fran in a blue and pink one the girls are sitting at the table while Niles is by the counter making a smoothie
Fran: Ya know wha Niles I think I'll have a pineapple pie instead.
Niles groans and starts to pour the drink into the sink.
CC: I'll take Niles.
Niles puts his head against the wall and starts to bang it as Max enters
Max: Niles, where's lunch?
Niles: You! You did this to me! If it wasn't for you I'd only have one pregnant woman to take care of. And now look at me my feet my back hurts and I have to keep running back and forth! And you're asking me where lunch is! From now on mister we are taking care of our own w…oman who we got pregnant! Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go take a nap before someone wakes me up.
He exits up the stairs
Fran: Boy his hormones are all ova the place.
Max: You should've seen him with the first three.
CC: Yeah but he was so inexperienced then. I think I'll go up there with him.
Max: Make sure he's alright.
CC: Uh…yeah.
She exits up the stairs
Max: I haven't seen Brighton or Lisa since last night. Have you?
Fran: Nope. Maybe they went out for a picnic.
Max: I would think they would tell us or at least leave a note.
Fran: Did ya check your office?
Max: Oh you're right.
Fran: I know!
He exits
Fran: I always am.
Max os: I heard that!
Next scene
Same place Max enters
Max: Oh my God!
Fran: Wha? I didn't do it.
Max: Brighton went to go marry Lisa.
Fran: Oh how terr…ible?
Max: We've got to stop them. Niles! CC!
Niles and CC: What!
Max: Get down here!
Next scene out by the car Niles, CC, Max, and Fran on the phone
Fran to phone: Ok Thanks Ma. (Hangs up) Ok Mr. Sheffield, ma says the closet and the cheapest chapel her would be in Connecticut.
Niles: Oh I don't what to drive all the way to Connecticut.
Max: You won't have to, now get in the car.
Next scene
Everyone in the car max is in the drivers' seat, while Fran, Niles, and CC are in the back
Niles: Sir why couldn't I just trade places with Miss. Fine?
Max: Because… Shut up.
Fran: I neva get to drive!
Max: You can drive later!
CC: Maxwell are we there yet?
Max: No.
Fran: How bout now?
Max: No!
Niles: Since I'm not driving could we stop at TCBY?
Fran and CC: Yeah.
Max: No! We are not making any stops.
Scene Flips
The same scene except Niles, CC, and Fran have ice cream in their hands
Fran: Mmm this ice cream is delish. Ya want some Mr. Sheffield?
She says putting the spoon in front of his face, and he pushes it away
Max: No. Now we only and will only make one stop got it?
Everyone: Yeah.
Max: Oy.
Niles: Oh look Fran Mr. Sheffield's practicing his Yiddish.
Fran: Oh! Try Bubele.
Max: I was not practicing my Yiddish. I said oy because…
All of a sudden the car stops
Max: We're low on gas.
Fran: I think ya mean we're out of gas.
Next scene
Outside the car somewhere on the road
Max: Alright, I called the tote truck but they have other things to do before they can reach us. So Niles, CC, and Miss. Fine you'll stay here and wait while I go to the chapel.
Fran: Hold it, Mr. Sheffield, ya don't even know where the chapel is. (pretends to sound annoyed) I guess I'll have to go with ya.
Next scene
Fran and Max walking
Max: So how are we supposed to find this place?
Fran: Easy we just look for the star.
Max: Ah the North Star.
Fran: No! The Texaco star, it right across the chapel.
Max rolls his eyes
Back at the car Niles and CC
CC: You think we should tell them they're going the wrong way?
Niles: Nah.
Next scene
Chapel a couple standing at the alter and Max runs in but stops
Max whispering: Will you hurray up?
Fran enters
Fran whispering: Hey you're the one you're the one who did this to me!
Max: Stop that…
B: Dad?
Fran: Not now B you're fathers trying to stop…B!
Max: Brighton what are you doing here? Didn't you marry Lisa?
B: No. It's over.
Fran: Wha happened?
B: He wasn't mine.
Fran: Oh honey.
B: I knew along.
Max: What and you still came over here to marry her?
B: I loved her. But she didn't love me back.
Fran: Oh sweetie, I know exactly how ya feel. But if ya are really meant to be you'll be reunited again.
Max: And then you'll let nothing get in you're way.
B: Thanks guys, but I've actually given up on her, because I found someone else.
He exits
Fran: Five bucks says he's lying through his teeth.
Next scene
Terrence Niles wearing a suit and sweeping, while humming Uptown Girl, he then looks around and then starts singing and dancing while sweeping
Niles: Uptown girl she's been
Living in her uptown world
I bet she's never had a backstreet guy
I bet her mama never told her why
I'm gonna try for an uptown girl
She's been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now she's looking for a down town man
That's what I am
And when she knows what
She wants from her time
And when she wakes up
And makes up her mind
She'll think I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love with an uptown girl
You know I've seen her in her uptown world
She's getting tired of her high class toys
And all the presents from her uptown boys
She's got her choice
Uptown girl you know I can't afford to by her pearls
But maybe someday when my ship comes in
She'll understand what kind of guy I've been
And then I'll win
And when she's walking she's looking so fine
And when she's talking she'll say that she's mine
She'll think I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love with an uptown girl
She's been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now she's looking for a down town man
That's what I am
Uptown girl she's my uptown girl
CC os: Niles!
Niles: Coming! You know I'm married to an uptown girl.
He exits the Terrence
The End
Ok the song Uptown girl does not belong to me but I heard it on the radio the other day and just thought, hey.
Hope you enjoyed!
Next time: Baby time!