TITLE: Trust
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: Shannon sees a familiar face in the jungle and struggles to make others believe her. Can she count on Sayid? (spoilers for episode one).
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters from Lost and am not making a profit. If they were mine, then there would be more Shayid moments.
Shannon twisted and turned every which way to break free of Sayid's hold. She needed to get away, and her chest heaved as she breathed heavily. He kept his arms locked around her waist, as he whispered calming words in her ear. He told her it would be all right and that he would take care of her. How could she believe him when he didn't even trust her?
Just minutes before she had seen Walt in the jungle. She had rushed to find Sayid, alone in the caves, had breathlessly told him that something bad had happened to the raft. She had melted against him as he held out his arms. Now his arms held no comfort. She had thought he believed her, thought that he knew she wouldn't make up stories like that. But she could see his doubt in his eyes, and could hear it in his voice. He thought she was crazy. But she knew what she saw was real. Who cared how impossible it seemed? She saw Walt being carried through the jungle by some hicks with bad hair.
"Calm down," Sayid said, for what felt like the hundredth time.
How was she supposed to be calm when the Others had Walt, the first child who hadn't pissed her off? How could she be calm when the person she trusted more than anything thought she was insane?
"What's going on?" Jack asked as he walked into the clearing.
"Nothing that you need to concern yourself with," Sayid said.
She looked to Sayid as if he was crazy. Jack needed to be involved with this. Despite the fact that he helped kill her brother, the other castaways looked up to Jack. If they were going to find Walt then they needed all the help they could get especially if Sayid wasn't on board.
"I saw Walt," she said quickly. "I was looking for Vincent and I saw him with these guys, I guess the Others that the French chick talked about."
"You saw Walt?" Jack asked taking a step forward. He gently took her wrist and pressed against it to find her pulse.
Roughly she pulled away. "What are you doing?"
"Walt is on the raft, Shannon," Jack said as if speaking to a child. "There is no way you could have seen him."
"And there was no way a polar bear could be on a tropical island."
She crossed her arms across her chest. She knew that Jack was right. She couldn't have seen Walt. It was impossible, but there was so much on this island that seemed impossible. Why couldn't seeing Walt be the truth as well? She knew she wasn't crazy.
"Something happened to the raft."
"Shannon," Sayid said softly. "Let me take you to the other side of the caves. You can rest then tell me what happened."
"I told you nine hundred times. Why won't you believe me?"
"Sayid's right. You should rest. I can give you something to help."
"You want to drug me?"
Jack sighed. "You've been under stress Shannon. It's possible that you were simply hallucinating."
"I'd hallucinate a mall, not a child."
Jack reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked like pills. She couldn't believe that Jack carried sleeping pills in his pocket. What a freak.
Sayid held out his hand to Jack. "Let me."
Her eyes widened as she stared at him. Sayid was going to drug her? Not her Sayid. Not the man who had held her, not the man who had offered to help with her bags, not the man who had worked his way into her heart. Her lip quivered as she watched him move closer. She wanted to lash out, wanted to get away, but she was too shocked to do so. He looked exhausted as if the world was resting on his shoulders.
"Don't," she whimpered.
Sayid stepped closer to her. She felt her heart start pounding. How could he? He was in front of her now, and a part of her wanted to slap him. But instead of grabbing her chin to force the pills down her throat, he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close.
In her ear he whispered, "Place them under your tongue."
She felt like crying. He wasn't going to force her to take the pills. Did that mean that he believed her? Or was he just against drugging her? With a shaky hand she reached for them. She put the pills in her mouth under her tongue and took a sip of the water he handed her. She didn't understand why she had to pretend to be drugged.
"These are pretty strong, Shannon," Jack said, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "You should lie down before they take effect."
Never taking her eyes off Sayid, she did what Jack said, and laid down right where she was. She knew she was getting her clothes dirty but it didn't matter. Sayid nodded to her, and she figured it meant that she should close her eyes. She closed them tightly, then figured that Jack would be able to tell that she wasn't asleep. She tried to take deep breaths as if she were laying in Sayid's arms.
"I know that wasn't easy, Sayid."
Shannon tried not to smile. She could picture the expression on Sayid's face as he tried to control his anger at Jack. She could see the way his jaw would be set, the muscles twitching because of the strain. Only his eyes would betray the swirl of emotions that he was feeling. Yet Shannon knew Jack wouldn't notice, he was oblivious to things at times.
"Drugging her was unnecessary," Sayid growled.
"They'd be a panic if she kept saying that she saw Walt, you know that."
"And the last time you tried to give someone sleeping pills, she ended up being kidnapped." Shannon heard Sayid sigh. "You can leave us alone Jack. I will take care of her. Go back and explore your hatch."
"I want to be here when she wakes up," Jack said.
"I will watch over her. I will find you if necessary."
She ignored Jack as he went on and on about how she needed to monitored closely. Instead, she tired to figure out what was going on. Sayid hadn't drugged her. He had ignored his "orders" from Jack. What did it mean? Did he believe her? Why had he still played along with Jack? She guessed it was just easier to pretend to please Jack than get into an argument with him. She knew that she needed to put her trust in Sayid. He had done so much for her already, not that she really understood why. But at this point in time she had nothing left to lose.
She felt his fingers in her hair as he bent down beside her. She wanted to open her eyes, wanted to find out what was going on, but she kept them closed. She didn't want to open them too soon and have Jack figure it all out, whatever it was that was happening.
His lips brushed against her forehead, as he whispered to her it was safe to open her eyes again. She opened them slowly, searching his face for any indication that he actually believed her. He held out his hand and she spit the pills out. She felt exhausted, drained for fighting against him after seeing Walt. He had to believe her.
"Can you take me to where you saw Walt?" he asked softly.
She felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
"You believe me."
He sighed. "I do not know what to believe Shannon. I know that you would not lie to me, and there are many mysteries on this island. Anything is possible."
She nodded in understanding. "That's what you wanted to tell me earlier."
He brushed her hair out of her face. "Walt should be out on the raft, but if you did see him, then we need to figure out what happened."
"Thank you for not thinking I'm crazy."
"I would not say that just yet," he said, his eyes sparkling.
She bit her lip. "Promise you'll stay with me?"
"I will stay by your side."
She stood up and walked towards the jungle. "What about Jack?"
"I will handle him."
It was a good enough answer for her. She continued to walk forward, knowing that Sayid would follow behind her. With each step she took, she felt her heart beat faster. Why was she going back out here? If it was in fact the Others who had Walt, the last thing she wanted was for them to see her.
Sayid slipped his hand into hers and squeezed. She felt safer then, felt protected. Sayid would not let anything happen to her. The one thing she had learned on the island was that Sayid was the person she could trust. He was the first person she had trusted in a long time. The manipulations that had played such a role in all her previous relationships were gone. She was lucky that she had found him.
"We have to find Walt," she said, breaking the silence.
"If he is out here, we will."
"He's a good kid," she said, tears blurring her vision.
"Better than Laurent?" Sayid asked as he continued walking.
She looked at him surprised. When had she told him about that little brat?
"The guy from Saint Tropez," Sayid added. "You said he had a son Laurent. He watched the fish movie."
She tilted her head to the side. "I can't believe you remembered that."
"Why wouldn't I have?"
No one usually paid enough attention to her to remember anything she had told them. Her whole life she had told stories to her father, to Sabrina, to Boone, and hours later they would forget. She'd tell them about the awards she had won in school, and they never cared enough to remember. And then there was Sayid who seemed to remember everything.
"Laurent was a lot different that Walt. Walt actually liked me."
"Why did Laurent not?"
Shannon shrugged. "I don't know. Thought I was trying to replace his mom or something. Or maybe he was just a brat." She frowned at the memory. "This one time he stole my nail polish, and started running around the room in circles around and around laughing his stupid little head off. I couldn't chase him because my nails were wet. Then he tripped over the rug and spilled it all over the place. It was my favorite too. His father got upset with me because he said I shouldn't have let Laurent play with my things. Like I could stop him from taking anything."
"Sounds like you did not have the best relationship with the little boy."
"Yeah, I hadn't signed on to play babysitter. It was nothing like I expected."
She wanted to tell him everything. Thought of telling him about the marriage and the abuse, how it had started a chain of events that led her to the jungle standing beside him searching for Walt. But she couldn't open her mouth. She wasn't sure she wanted him to know, wasn't sure he needed to know. Maybe one day she would tell him everything, but she wasn't ready for him to look at her any differently then he was right now.
As they stepped into an area in the jungle, Shannon stopped. "This was it," she said, voice trembling. She pointed to her left, "I saw him over there."
Sayid dropped her hand, and suddenly she felt very alone. She needed to have him back by her side. She didn't know how else to feel safe.
She watched as Sayid looked around. With each passing second she began to doubt what she had seen. She knew it had been Walt, but as Sayid looked for any clues that Walt had been there, she began to think maybe it had just been stress. Maybe she was actually losing her mind. It wasn't something she really wanted to think of, but maybe she should just ask Sayid for those pills back.
"Shannon," Sayid called, startling her. "Come here."
She walked quickly over to where he stood staring down at the ground. She followed his gaze to a tennis shoe. Her breath caught in her throat. It was the shoe that Walt had been wearing when the raft set sail. She suddenly felt very weak. Sayid slipped his arm around her waist to prevent her from falling to the ground.
"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I should have brought you here right away. You were right."
"What are we going to do?"
He shook his head. "I do not know." He pulled her into his arms. "We will find him I promise."
"Thank you."
She rested her head against his shoulder as he pulled her even tighter. She was safe in his arms, and she knew that soon Walt would be safe as well. Sayid would keep his promise.
The End