Chapter 2: The Otaku United Steals the Cookie
Bet you can't guess what THIS chapter's about... Review corner!
SomeoneInThePastOfEarth: I think it's kind of obvious that I don't own any of the FMA cast. That's why it's a "fanfic". Sorry if I sound rude. You get a cookie for being the first reviewer! (gives giant cookie, but is chased away by Ed and Al)
QOL: Thanks for the help! I suck at spelling. I'd die without spell check.
Zeldalover: Yeah... My friends thought that when I told them what was going to happen in this fic. They either said "Awesome" or "?".
Ravenf6: Yeah. This story was actually based off of something my bro said. He wished he could do that with a cookie, and this kind of branched off. If you want to read his fics, he's Black Ryu Lord. He's on my favorites.
Nelja: Yeah, I did poke too much fun at Al. I'm going to make fun of the evil in this chapter, then make fun of Ed in the next. Everyone will be made fun of in the final chapter, whenever THAT will be...
Ed is Sexy: Finally! Someone mentions that this fic is random! You get a cookie! (tries to give cookie, but Ed and Al mistake it for giant cookie, and is chased away again)
Kristanite: Wow... One word response. Nice!
Hurkydoesntknow: Thanks for reading this! I know you like my KH fics, so I'm glad you liked this one!
SamEdCarolSanoKatieHaru: You have a long penname... What's Excel Sage? Anyway, I'm glad you liked this fic. Yes, it is stupid humor, and it will just get weirder...
Smoothlady15: Yeah, I know. Poor Al. Why not feel sorry for Ed? He's vertically challenged!
Firaga: More Lust bashing in future. Next time you review, please leave your email so I can help with the KH. Which game is it? Chain of Memories or the original? I can help with both. Ansem creeps me out...
Man, that's a lot of reviews. I have a major pet peeve. ANONYMOUS REVIEWS, COULD YOU PLEASE LEAVE YOUR EMAILS? That is all.
"So THAT'S the giant cookie." Said a slightly chubby boy of about 14. He had black hair and was wearing an Alucard coat ((Alucard is from Hellsing)). "I know I can steal it!"
"Me too!" A boy genius with brown hair nodded. He and the other boy made most of the weapons the Otaku United used, but half the time the things didn't work. He was a 13 year old with an obsession for light sabers and Star Wars.
"Damn it Donut! You too Firefox!" A girl with black hair and green eyes yelled. She was also 14. "We need to steal it! WE, as in, NOT I!"
"I bet it would go great with mustard..." A girl with reddish blonde hair and blue eyes mumbled dreamily. She was 13 and obsessed with the tangy yellow condiment known as mustard. "Don't you think Rachel?"
"No! We ARE NOT mustarding it." The girl with black hair yelled.
"What's with you and mustard anyway, Effie?" A chubby girl with short wavy blonde hair and brown eyes asked. She was 13 with acid spit and could heal from injury within 48 hours. All of Otaku United swore she was half demon.
"Well, it's good for you! You didn't know that, Cassie?" Effie looked up.
"Quiet! You'll scare away the prey!" A girl with newly dyed purple hair and brown eyes growled. "I must get the cookie to hunt Son Goku!" ((We all know who she is...))
"Why does Lust live in a bright pink house? I seriously expected my mother to live in a gothic castle!" A girl with shoulder length blonde hair and glasses said.
"Tiffany! SHE IS NOT YOU MOTHER!" Donut yelled.
"Guys! Be quiet! We don't want to have Lust find out we're trying to steal it!" A girl with blonde hair and blue eyes hissed. She was 13, and new a ton about anime and video games. "Now, I have a plan for us loyal members of Otaku United to steal that cookie!"
A few minutes later, they were all dressed as Girl Scouts. ((I am a Girl Scout, so please don't say I'm disrespecting them. I am making fun of... our troop a little.)) They rang the Door Bell.
"Yes?" Gluttony answered the door. "Can I help...? GIRL SCOUT COOKIES! I'll get some money! Of course I'll buy some! Come in!" He pushed them inside.
"That was easy... Your plan actually worked for once, Selena." Donut commented. "But why do me AND Firefox have to wear these Girl Scout uniforms?"
"These are creepy..." Firefox shivered. "There's not even a place for a light saber in these vests."
"Shut up Donut. You too Firefox, or I'll give you both back to those wolves at the Death Star." Selena growled.
"Now where's the cookie? Do you smell it Cassie?" The girl with purple hair asked.
"No. Some horrible smell is blocking my nose, Ame!" Cassie looked down at a pathetic poodle with a Mohawk. "Since when did Lust own a dog?"
"Our sources say that that's Fee Fee and that she belongs to Envy." Effie muttered. "Can I pour mustard on it?" ((One track mind...))
"NO!" Rachel shook her head.
Cassie was poking the weak canine. "This little guys a lot better behaved than Cocoa!" She smiled. Fee Fee bit her finger. "AHHHH! IT'S WORSE THAN MY DOG!" She tried to fling the canine off of her finger.
Selena grabbed the dog and pulled it off. "It has no teeth..." She commented.
"I knew that! I was just trying to," Cassie paused, "scare it away so it wouldn't bite you guys!"
"Right..." Everyone said at once.
"Here's the money!" He handed them 120 dollars and shoved them out the door. "I'll take that." He took Effie's bottle of mustard.
"HEY! MY MUSTARD!" Effie screeched as if it was the end of the world. She ran into the closed door and started pounding it with her fists. "GIVE ME BACK MY MUSTARD!"
"It's gone! We'll have to think of another way to sneak in!" Rachel said, trying to think.
"We could dress up like Santa and go down the chimney!" Cassie suggested.
"But none of us are fat enough to be Santa." Ame said.
"Donut might be." Rachel commented.
"What do you think Tiffany?" Selena turned to her.
"Well, besides knowing the Girl Scout cookie thing would be a dud, we don't look anything like Santa." She nodded.
"I will once I eat that giant cookie!" Cassie suggested.
"NO!"
"We could ride a bunch of llamas inside while singing the Llama Song to drive them insane." Tiffany said thoughtfully.
"But how will that help us get the cookie?" Donut asked.
"I don't know! It would be fun though!"
Ame thought for a minute. "She has a good point..."
"I say we dress up as the judges from that baking contest Envy entered." Rachel beamed. "We'll get in for sure!"
"That's a great idea!" Donut nodded. "Let's do that!"
This time, they paid the judges to NOT judge and stole their clothes. They knocked on the door.
"Hello?" Lust answered.
"Hello!" Rachel said, trying to sound serious. "We're the judges for the Sugar Sweet Baking Contest, here to judge Envy's flesh and bone cookies..." Rachel shuddered at the thought.
"Hmm... Gluttony!" Lust called.
Gluttony at one of the clipboards and the Otaku United ran away in fear. "That tasted like chicken..." Gluttony commented.
"Good job at scaring away the House Salesmen!" Lust patted Gluttony on the head. ((Um... They said the were from the contest... Lust's an idiot...))
"Were the judges here?" Envy asked, holding up cookies so charred, they weren't even edible.
"OK! Donut, you MUST have a plan that'll work from all those MGS games." Selena breathed. "As leader, I believe in your plan."
"I have the perfect plan!" Donut planted some C4 outside the house and everyone hid in the bushes. "Home made plastic explosives!"
"Um... You sure those work?" Firefox asked. "Cause if they don't, I can always chop them up with my light saber."
"This is from the batch that does work! Don't worry!"
Gluttony came out and ate the C4, which exploded in his mouth. "It tasted like Pop Rocks, but with more boom!" Gluttony said, looking for more.
"Dude! You just ate C4!" Donut stood up.
"Donut!" Effie whispered harshly. "Get down!"
"Got anymore?" Gluttony asked greedily.
Firefox jumped out of the bush with light saber and tried to slice Gluttony into pieces.
Lust came out and blocked him with her super long finger nails. "High there handsome! I wouldn't try to dice my partners."
"Lady, you need a manicure!" Rachel yelled.
"I could help! I could paint her nails!" Effie held up a thing of mustard. "Firefox could trim them with his light saber!"
Lust smiled. "Oh could you? That would be... Hey! You're trying to trick me!" She yelled. ((Not the brightest crayon in the box, is she?))
"No duh..." Selena grabbed the rest of the club and ran. "OK! New plans!"
"We could drown the house in mustard!" Effie grinned.
"But that would destroy the cookie." Tiffany pointed out.
"So? There'd be lots of mustard!"
"I know!" Ame said, smiling. "We sneak into the house at night, using our L33T ninja skills we learned from watching Naruto DVDs and reading MegaTokyo too much!" ((lol, Naruto rocks!))
"That's actually the best idea we've heard yet." Rachel nodded. "It makes sense."
"I know that'll work! We just need to find some ninja suits and wear our headbands we got at the convention!" Ame nodded.
Later that night, everyone was wearing their different headbands. They all wore black, except Effie, who wore a mustard yellow suit.
"How'd you get that yellow...?" Tiffany asked.
"I dyed it with mustard!" Effie grinned.
"Come on!" Ame said, adjusting her Sand Ninja headband. "We have the ninja gear, let's go in!"
"Must I be a ninja? I prefer Jedi!" Firefox complained.
"Fine! You're a ninja Jedi! Happy?" Rachel sighed.
They opened the door and to their horror...
"THEY HAVE MUSTARD YELLOW WALLS!" Effie cried happily.
"Well, our disguises are useless..." Donut sighed.
"I am a ninja! You cannot see me! I am invisible to the human eye!" Ame laughed.
"Ame! Be quiet!" Selena said, trying not to laugh.
"I can't be quiet! What do I look like? A ninja?" She said it very seriously.
Everyone fell over laughing.
"Come... Come on." Selena giggle, leading them to the snack cupboard. "The cookie's in here."
Rachel tried to open it. "It's locked."
Ame pulled out a pin. "We can pick the lock."
"That'll take to long. I have a llama grazing lesson tomorrow. I don't want to be here all night." Tiffany nodded.
"Um... Tiffany? What's so hard about grazing?" Donut asked.
"It's horribly hard! I mean, eat and step, eat and step! God! It's the most difficult thing on the planet!" Tiffany glared.
Donut sighed and put miniature grenades on the door. They exploded and the door fell off its hinges.
Selena grabbed the cookie. "Mission accomplished."
Rachel frowned. "Where'd Effie and Donut go?"
Effie came back loaded with mustard, while Donut came back with, you guessed it, donuts.
"Guys! We have to get out of here!" Selena grabbed them and dragged them out.
"Ew... These donuts taste like charcoal..." Donut mad a face.
The next morning, Lust, Gluttony, and Envy woke up to find a great surprise.
"SOMEONE STOLE MY MUSTARD!" Gluttony screamed like a little girl.
"Someone stole my Bone yard donuts! And the judges never came!" Envy cried like Effie without mustard. ((couldn't resist))
"That doesn't matter!" Lust barked. "Someone took the giant cookie!"
Ed and Al walked in. "Someone took the cookie? Damn! Al, come on. We have to go find the thieves who took our cookie from the thieves." Ed turned to leave.
"Wait up Brother!" Al quickly followed with Eve and Bob on his shoulders.
"Faster Metal Man!" Bob yelled.
"Yes! Faster Al!" Eve pounded the back of Al's head.
"Stop it you 2!" Al cried, hurrying after Ed.
That was very long and random. I hoped you liked it. I don't need characters, but I based the Otaku United members off of a bunch of my friends.
Donut: AlucardXIII
Rachel: Rachel, who's not on this site.
Ame: Kurokagome
Firefox: Firefox116
Selena: Me, of course!
Effie: Effie, who's not on this site.
Tiffany: Dark Fearie Witch Faye was her penname I'm pretty sure...
I hope you enjoyed that chapter. I'VE BEEN ON FANFICTION FOR OVER A YEAR NOW! YAY! Anywho, later everyone!