A/N: Thanks for the reviews. And I would never say Shannen's a bitch... or would I? Whatever, you're in for a double feature! Two episodes for you! Means two reviews for me! That's an order!
Title: Charmed! If you can still call it that...
Episode 3: Who ate the last cookie?
Teaser:
(The camera remains black, but we hear talking.)
HOLLY: (Off screen.) So she's not coming back?
BRIAN: (Off screen.) It doesn't look like it.
(The lights turn on. Holly and Brian cover their eyes. Shannen steps in.)
SHANNEN: Good morning!
HOLLY: Guess you didn't hear about Alyssa.
SHANNE: (Smiling.) Oh I heard.
ROSE: (Off screen.) Action!
HOLLY: What the hell?
ROSE: I'm filling for Alex. Now let's shoot this!
(Roll credits. Fade in: Dining room. Prue and Piper are glaring at each other from opposite ends of the table.)
PIPER: I know what you did, Prue!
PRUE: So?
PIPER: You will pay, bitch!
PRUE: Listen, it's not what you think.
PIPER: You were always so desperate to want my things! But you cross the line!
(Piper gets a knife out of her... hair and throws at Prue. Prue TK's it to the next room. A cat screeches.)
PRUE: Damn it! I killed Kit.
(Prue looks back to where Piper... was. Cause she's not there anymore.)
PRUE: Piper?
(Cut to: Underworld. Two nameless demons are just standing around. Cole walks in.)
COLE: Demon 1! Demon 2!
DEMON 1: Cole! My man!
DEMON 2: Whassuuuuuuuuuup!
COLE: Whassuuuuuuuuuup!
DEMON 1: Whassuuuuuuuuuup!
DEMON 2: Hey let me call 3.
(He does so.)
DEMON 3: (From the phone.) Hello?
DEMON 2: Whassuuuuuuuuuup!
COLE: Whassuuuuuuuuuup!
DEMON 1: Whassuuuuuuuuuup!
DEMON 3: (From the phone.) Whassuuuuuuuuuup!
ALEX: (Off screen.) What the hell is this?
ROSE: (Off screen.) Prue's scene was boring me. Plus, I love this bit.
(Scuffling sounds are heard, then the sound of smacking on a head followed by a thud.)
ALEX: (Off screen.) Let's return to the Manor. Oh and someone get Rose to the Hospital.
(Cut to: Living room. Prue lies in a puddle of blood on the floor. Piper is painting her nails. Leo walks in. He appears to be dazed.)
PIPER: Hey, honey.
LEO: Where was I?
PIPER: You were gone? Huh. Go figure.
(Leo looks at her oddly. Phoebe walks in and looks out the window.)
PHOEBE: Ooh, ugly naked guy is washing his car!
PIPER: Alex!
ALEX: (Off screen.) What? We needed a Phoebe!
PIPER: But she's not even a witch!
ALEX: (Off screen.) She's new age-y!
(Piper blows Phoebe up.)
ALEX: (Off screen.) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Do you know how much she was worth? The "Friends" people are going to kill me!
(Paige walks in.)
PAIGE: Piper, Piper!
PIPER: What?
PAIGE: Who ate the last cookie?
PIPER: Ok, that's it!
(Piper beats on Paige and stalks away.)
ALEX: (Off screen.) Holly!
HOLLY: (Off screen.): This is stupid! For fucks sakes, she just said the tittle of the episode!
PAIGE: Well it was the line! Sue me!
(Prue gets back up.)
PRUE: Ow... what happened?
LEO: Prue!
(Leo runs away scared. Wonder what she did to him.)
PRUE: Damn, he was alive.
(Piper returns to scene.)
PRUE: Why did you beat me to a bloody pulp, Piper?
PIPER: You ate my last oreo cookie. That's just wrong.
(All laugh. Ending music plays. Fade to black.)
SHANNEN: (Off screen.) One more crappy episode done.
ALEX: (Off screen.) We're still rolling.
SHANNEN: (Off screen.) Shit.
End.