A/N: Um... yeah...
Title: Charmed! If you can still call it that…
Episode 9: She had enough! (Part 2)
(Fade in: Ext. desert road. Astral Prue and her biker dood ride to look for some danger and whatnot.)
ASTRAL PRUE: Thank you for coming back biker dood.
BIKER DOOD: You're welcome. So, what do we do now? Cause havoc and stuff?
ASTRAL PRUE: You read my mind.
ALEX: (Off screen.) Guys, you're names are pretty long, so since the public already know you're astral Prue I'm just calling you Prue and you biker dood are going to be just dood.
DOOD: Cool!
PRUE: Bitching!
ALEX: (Off screen.) Now can one of you please do the recap?
BOTH: No!
(They ride off-screen. Bastard. Roll credits! Fade in: Bay Mirror. Paige and Precious are waiting for Phoebe in her office.)
PRECIOUS: Can you tell me what the hell are we doing here? Zankou just stole the book of shadows! He could use it to try and access the Nexus!
PAIGE: You worry too much.
PRECIOUS: Well, sorry. I'm trying to get use to being a "charmed one".
PAIGE: It is kind of annoying.
PRECIOUS: What did you do with your off time before?
PAIGE: Well, I was a painter…
(Flashback music begins to play-suddenly the sound of a record scratching.)
ALEX: (Off screen.) No flashbacks!
PAIGE: We can't even do freaking flashbacks!
PRECIOUS: What happen to the money in the budget?
ALEX: (Off screen.) Kern bought Alyssa presents.
PAIGE: Figures…
(Phoebe and Elise enter.)
PHOEBE: Ok, we're obviously dealing with an unstable elderly bitch so I brought Elise to help us out.
ELISE: Jeez, Phoebe, tell me how you really feel.
PRECIOUS: I still think we should look for Zankou first.
PAIGE: We can't stop Zankou by ourselves! We need Piper and Prue! Hello? Party of five?
PRECIOUS: I think you meant "power of five" and I think we don't need them. We're kick ass on our own. Right, Phoebe?
(Phoebe was flirting with the movie critic.)
PHOEBE: You got big hands…
MOVIE CRITIC: I'm gay.
PHOEBE: Me too! Let's make out!
(He leaves to find a sexual harassment form.)
ELISE: Look, if you really want my opinion, you're sister is most likely to do something crazy, but before she can do that she needs to get wasted. So you'll probably find her in the local biker bars around the city and outskirts. I could hook you up with a couple of party buddies of mine.
PAIGE: That's… that's actually very helpful.
ELISE: I'll make a few calls.
(She exits. Phoebe comes back in. Precious kicks the desk in frustration.)
PRECIOUS: Ow! Damn it!
PAIGE: Ok, I'll just orb-
PRECIOUS: Blink.
PAIGE: Oh, right… blink to magic school to check on what the students have found.
(She blinks out.)
PRECIOUS: I'll go to the underworld to see if I find what Zankou's next move is. You wait for Elise's info and then go get Piper to help you look for Prue.
PHOEBE: Ok.
PRECIOUS: And Phoebe, do not get distracted.
PHOEBE: Don't worry, I won't.
(Precious blinks out. Phoebe looks out her window. A man is walking all shifty like. Phoebe gets the goggles she uses to spy on the guy from the building down the street shower to look at the man better. The man is Cole. Phoebe is shocked. Elise walks in.)
ELISE: Here are the numbers you need-
PHOEBE: Sorry, Elise, but I just saw Cole! You know what that means…
ELISE: (Annoyed.) You'll drop everything you're supposed to do and make it all about you and Cole.
PHOEBE: DUH! Now, bye!
(She rushes out. Elise shakes her head.)
ELISE: Guess I'll have to rescue Prue myself!
(Cut to: Manor. Front steps. Leo is playing catch with Wyatt. Chris is in his crib by the door.)
LEO: With all of this spoiling you won't turn evil and take over the world. You'll just turn into a spoil brat.
WYATT: Da-da.
(He turns Leo into a goat. Wyatt jumps on Leo and rides him off to someplace. Chris is left on the steps. And you wonder why he felt rejected. Andy walks up.)
ANDY: Poor baby. Let's find you a nice foster family.
(Andy takes Chris. Cut to: P3. Gwen Stefani is playing in the background. Piper is dancing with Drake)
GWEN: Drive back, baby, do me fast in your car! I'm here waiting, CRASH! Into me real hard!
PIPER: Sounds like Phoebe in high school!
DRAKE: You're so funny. You're perfect.
PIPER: I am. To think Prue said I suck. Bitch.
DRAKE: Well, you most certainly rule my world.
PIPER: Thank you. Wanna go to the backroom?
(They smile and walk to it. Ok, time for the cliffhanger. Cut to: A cliff. Darryl is hanging with one hand to the edge.)
DARRYL: Help!
(Zankou blinks in.)
DARRYL: You!
ZANKOU: Son, join me.
DARRYL: I…
NARRATOR: (Off screen.) Will Darryl say yes? Will he say no? Will he fall? Will he discover his wife is cheating on him with Andy?
DARRYL: She what!
ALEX: (Off screen.) Find out next episode!
(Fade to a naked picture of Alyssa Milano. Shuffling sounds are heard. Fade to black.)
To be continued…