Hey boys and girls. Time for my second serious fic to begin. It's set after the death of the rampant gay...ahem, I mean Tabris and ignores the movies. A lot different from the last work but I hope you like it none the less. The chances are this will be longer than 'Send in the Rei's', and you know what that means...I won't be eating or sleeping anytime soon. Once inspiration strikes it takes a while to get it's fangs out of my leg... Dammit.
Please read and review. And PLEASE ignore any rants I go on following you're reviews, despite my age puberty still likes to kick me in the balls by furnishing me with mood swings. Apologies in advance.
Shinji will eventually become OOC to a degree, so be prepared. If you don't like it feel free to tell me and I'll feel free to turn green and start screaming "HULK SMASH" and turn you into a newly flattened man-pancake. As for the women...er...I'll just force you to date me. The men have it easier, trust me. OK? OK. I hope you have as much fun reading as I do writing...no wait that doesn't mean much...Meh.
I don't own anything. Don't sue me.
XVII: Awakening.
The boy lay on his bed, eyes wide open in the darkness and his face pressed into the pillow below him. Classical music streamed into his ears through the small ear buds that trailed from his SDAT, but he didn't really hear it. In many ways he hadn't really heard the music for a long, long time now. The boy's deep blur eyes were glazed over as he lay at the mercy of his memories, watching them playing again and again in his mind without respite. His hands clutched at the pillow, cool beneath his fingers as the sights and sounds of the past ripped through him, each one leaving a mark even if it couldn't be seen on the outside.
All gone. They were all gone. Misato was lost in her grief. Asuka was comatose. Rei...wasn't really Rei...to the extent that the quiet albino girl could indeed be anyone. Touji and Kensuke had evacuated with the other inhabitants of Tokyo-3 before the final Angel's attack. Kaworu... was dead. Crushed like a can. If he stopped not thinking about it enough he could still feel the peculiar pressure in the palm of his hand, he could still feel his Evangelion's massive tendons flex briefly and he could still feel the warm LCL soaking his hand where the remains of his friend lay like a bloody puppet with it's strings cut. And he could still hear his own screams, echoing in the dark caverns of his mind.
Shinji Ikari, the Third Child, knew he'd be hearing those screams for an eternity to come. He couldn't say he was looking forward to it.
The music he wasn't listening to stopped and his fingers pressed a set series of buttons without any conscious thought, rewinding the tape and restarting the song. Moving sluggishly he turned over lying on his back and staring at his bare ceiling. In a bid to hold off the incessant memories he slid his eyes down to the window, looking out into the rain beyond. He was surprised. He hadn't noticed it start raining. Quietly getting up from his bed, Shinji unhooked he earbuds and lay them down, not concerned enough to pause the music or turn off the tiny machine. Padding quickly across the cold floor Shinji leaned against his window watching the rain fall outside the glass portal. He had always loved the rain. He enjoyed the sound of it falling from the sky onto the hard stone of the city, and he enjoyed standing in it's cold embrace, losing himself in the sound around him. It was probably why he enjoyed showers so much. But above all else Shinji loved looking out across the city and seeing it bathed in water. Especially at night, when the amber street lights furnish the wet roads with a golden sheen. He couldn't think of a more beautiful view. A city of stone and steel, awash with a deluge from the skies. There had been many times when he watched that very view from his window and had dreamt of being out their and losing himself in the downpour. It soothed him.
Shinji sat there for hours, the rain giving no sign of abating or slowing. Mind curiously empty and free of thought, he just sat and watched the rain fall, tracing the paths of rivulets that cascaded down his glass pane. This was the closest he had come to peace in an age.
Unconscious of the time that had passed Shinji abruptly felt tired, the quiet rush of the rain lulling him into sleep. Stumbling back to his bed he collapsed on the soft mattress and succumbed to the call of slumber, lying across the bed still fully clothed. He didn't hear his guardian checking on him some time later. Nor did he see the tears trailing from her red eyes as she remembered the love she had lost.
Shinji scrunched his eyes, and tried to roll away from the bright light that was lancing through the window at the foot of his bed. Mumbling incoherently the boy twisted in his sheets, torn between trying to pull them over his head to shield himself from the intrusive light or burying his head in the pillows. After it became apparent that the sun, was not going to miraculously disappear, Shinji sat up in bed, his mouth tasting like an alleyway and his hair matted to the side of his head, eyes still half shut. Stifling the somewhat childish urge to shake his fist at the sun for intruding upon his rest, Shinji glanced at his bedside clock. School had yet to restart so there was no real need for him to get up early, but the sunlight had assured that he was awake whether he wanted to be or not. 8.23pm. With a inaudible groan Shinji collapsed back onto his bed, arms splayed at his sides. He hadn't gotten to sleep until late last night and he was mourning the absence of sleep. And the fact that his mouth still tasted like an alley. It was known to Shinji through bitter experience that once awake there was little chance he would be able to get back to sleep. Muttering disconsolately he swung his legs over the side of his mattress, taking care to untangle his legs before doing so. Standing he was hit with a wave of nausea and dizziness and sat back down quickly, waiting for the unpleasant sensations to pass.
'That's what you get for not getting enough sleep.' Standing again, more cautiously this time, Shinji slid his door open and made his way to the kitchen. On his way there he paused outside his redheaded room mate's door momentarily before continuing. It soon became apparent that none of the other occupants were awake. This came as no surprise to Shinji. Misato was sleeping and waking more irregularly than usual and her tiny avian boarder seemed in tune with the mood of the apartment and was rarely seen aside from mealtimes.
To apathetic to cook anything for breakfast Shinji dug through the cupboards for a box of generic cereal, before dumping a generous amount in a bowl and opening the fridge for the milk. Shifting bronze and white cans of Misato's 'Liquid Gold' out of the way, Shinji grasped the milk carton.
And recoiled violently as a searing pain erupted, flashing across his brow. Stumbling away from the fridge, Shinji barely felt the sudden collision with the table behind him, and hardly registered his fall to the floor. All he could feel was the crushing pressure within his skull as it tore at him with talons of agony. The Darkness came abruptly, but not soon enough.
The pain stopped. As suddenly as it had began it ceased, leaving Shinji on the floor clutching his head for a few more seconds before he realised that this was the case. Blinking and shaking his head he hauled himself up by the table that stood poised above him. In doing so Shinji winced, only now feeling the dull ache in his back from his run in with the wooden table. His vision seemed...hazy, uncertain, prompting him to rub his eyes briefly before trying to focus again. Nothing had changed. The air seemed...grey. As he looked around the kitchen Shinji noted that in fact everything seemed grey, almost lifeless. It was as if he was stood in a washed out painting, leaving the world he knew a less vibrant shadow of itself, the colours not quite gelling the way they should. Spinning back towards the fridge in his confusion he failed to note the absolute silence that had gripped the scene. No sounds of birds, no sounds of traffic, simply silence except for his breathing and the blood rushing in his ears.
As his eyes came to rest on the fridge his state of confusion blazed into rampant shock, freezing his body and leaving him with goosebumps as a shiver travelled it's way up his spine. Eyes wide, Shinji stared at the fridge. Apparently when he had recoiled he had knocked the milk over and had disturbed some of the Yebisu cans lined up on the shelves. In a state of bemused disbelief, Shinji edged forward, slowly approaching the milk and the aluminium cans. Reaching out hesitantly he shagged on of the cans out of it's deceptively precarious position. Suspended in mid air. Three cans aside from the one he know held in his hand where halted in various stages of descent, hanging in space and a thin stream of milk was pouring onto the floor.
Shinji brought his face close to the stream of pearly liquid. The stream had yet to actually touch the floor and it's suspended state made it look a bit like a lava lamp the youth had once seen. The stream was bulbous at the bottom and stationary, about a handbreadth away from the floor. It was if the sands of time had ceased to flow, their inevitably constant fall halted as surely as that of the products that were in front of him now.
Panic gripped the boy. Screaming in fear he leapt away from the fridge, attempting to adopt the foetal position in mid-air, with little success. He quickly settled for scrambling into the corner of the kitchen, still staring at the cans.
"M-Misato! Misato, what the hell's going on! MISATO!" Receiving no response from his nominal guardian he cast about the kitchen wildly, not really knowing what it was he was looking for but knowing that once he found it, he'd then know which way to run to get away from it. "MISATO!" Still scrabbling for purchase on the sides of the of the kitchen counter he threw a glance towards Misato's bedroom door. Which is why he saw the light erupt from across the room and flare towards him, devouring everything in it's path. Before he could scream it was on him, wiping the kitchen away and leaving a blank white void, so bright it hurt his eyes. It was too late to scream. He screamed anyway. For form's sake.
Abruptly sound returned. And with it... sight. He was not, however in the kitchen. Shinji's gaze roved across the scene around him. The wall before him was dominated by a giant ruby orb, covered for the most part in tarpaulin. A skeletal infrastructure of scaffolding had been set up around the object and workmen scrambled across it shouting at each other, some so small that they looked like a hive of ants.. He recognised this. Too stunned to be afraid Shinji lurched forward, only now realising that with sound, the colours he was used were present in this place, unlike they had been in the kitchen.
"This is the core...of the Forth! Misato brought me here! Dr Akagi told us about Angels and I learned about my Father's hands..." As always a wave of dark depression threatened to crash over him at the thought of his father, but before he could succumb to it's pull, familiar voices broke thought the sound of workmen behind him.
"But how can they be so similar to us, genetically I mean? The Third was at least humanoid, but this one looked like a reject from a sushi restaurant!" Spinning on the spot Shinji faced the group of three talking behind him. All three were staring upwards at the core. It was quickly apparent that they could not see him. They would have been much more animated if they could. Especially since one of them was him. Misato had just spoken questioning what her old friend had told her about the Angels being nearly genetically identical to man. The false blonde shrugged, none too eloquently.
"Their genetic information is so similar they should look almost exactly like us. The remaining discrepancy though..." She paused, grimacing to herself. "We compared the sample we have hear to the sample attained from the Third-"
"You got one from the Third? After it self-destructed?" Misato interrupted. Shinji did not remember this conversation. He looked at himself, and saw his reflection staring at the orb, though it was apparent from his dull eyes that he was not paying attention to the here and now. Or the there and then. Or whatever.
'That's right...I was thinking about my Father...and Ayanami.' Satisfied he had explained why he didn't recall the conversation that had taken place after he had learnt about his Father's hands he turned his attention back to Ritsuko who had begun to speak yet again, pride positively emanating from her voice. Darting his eyes back to the woman Shinji thought she looked like the cat that had not only found the can of cream, but had found a paw operated can-opener too. He was mildly disappointed when she didn't lick non-existent whiskers.
"The Magi were able to find fragments of the Third's core, yes. Despite it's S2 core overloading some of the Angel still survived the explosion." Shinji watched as Misato shook her head in disbelief. He felt like doing that himself. He had seen the size of the explosion on the recording later, after he had regained consciousness. He had been surprised the Eva had survived, even with the armour. Ritsuko seemed to read the Captain's discomfort. "Don't worry Misato. The thing is quite dead. We just managed to collect some fragments of core. The largest we found was no larger than an inch across." The mauve haired woman seemed to relax at that.
"So how does that explain why they are apparently almost exactly like us but look nothing like each other?" Shinji watched in detached amusement as a vein abruptly bulged out of the blonde doctor's forehead.
"It doesn't Captain. If you would let me finish however..." Misato grinned and bowed apologetically. "...as I was saying, we have not managed to completely map either Angel's genomes, but we do have a lose fit approximation of both by overlaying both of them. And both of them had the same area of discrepancy. It's like a...chameleon gene...it seems to allow creatures which should look the same to be almost completely different. Only one physical attribute remains the same. It's like nothing on Earth that we know of." Ritsuko shrugged and shook her head wryly.
"So... what does that mean?"
"It means Misato, that whatever Angels come in the future will probably look nothing like this. Each one will be different and it is almost impossible to predict what they will look like or what capabilities they will have. Only one thing about them will remain constant."
"And that is, Doctor?" It seemed Misato was irritated by Ritsuko's apparent lack of concern.
"The core. From what these two genomic patterns show us, that one fact about the Angels is immutable. They will all have a core and if you destroy the core, you destroy the Angel. Aside from that you'll have to play it by ear." The Head of Operations looked less than thrilled. Ritsuko frowned deeply prompting a further inquiry from Misato. "This genome Misato...it looks like it's mutated or been altered. I don't think we're looking at the Angel's true forms. I think that they're something completely different." Akagi moved away from the others towards the core, specifically a small area of the core that had been cut free from the giant orb and freed of it's canvas wrapping, now lying at floor level. The section stood at 10 feet tall and looked like a monolith of red marble. Misato left to follow her, leaving Shinji alone to examine Shinji.
Looking at him from only months ago he was startled to see the changes. They were subtle for the most part. He hadn't had a haircut recently, so his hair was slightly longer than it had been. Shinji almost thought that he looked smaller in the past as well. The intervening months had seen him grow some it seemed. Most noticeably though was the lack of dark circles under the younger Shinji's eyes. Every time he looked in the mirror now dark shadows hung under his eyes, testament to how little sleep he was really getting. This younger avatar did not have those...yet.
"Hey Shinji! Come look at this!" Misato's call snapped the younger Shinji out of his stupor. Invisible to all present the elder Shinji smiled quietly as he watched his commanding officer bounce back across the bay and retrieve his younger self. Always so carefree and childlike, in happier times Misato Katsuragi was the elder sister and mother he had never had. Shinji frowned as the memory of how she was now, so desolate and depressed. Staring at the floor he made his way after the others, now determined to believe that this was a weird dream and nothing more. Standing behind the group of three he watched Ritsuko smiling slightly, watching her college friend encouraging Shinji to touch the exposed section of core. Unlike most of the things Misato encouraged him to do, this was something he wouldn't mind doing. Still he looked over his shoulder for Ritsuko's approval before touching it. It was after all scientific material.
"Go ahead, Shinji. It's not like we're short of the stuff." The doctor smiled wryly, waving an arm at the huge orb hanging above them. Shinji watched himself nod and turn back to the red slab. Moving closer to get a better view Shinji watched his own hand reach out and touch the cool ruby stone. His fingers pressed against it's smooth surface and dragged up the centre. Shinji watched himself grin.
"HIYA!" The elder Shinji leapt into the air, once again trying to defend all his extremities at once and failing miserably. The voice had originated from right next to his ear. Spinning in shock Shinji found a girl, a few inches shorter than he, with dark caramel skin and golden hair trailing down her back. As he stared at her he found her eyes were the same shade of burnished gold as her hair. Backing away and falling on his ass in the process, Shinji frantically searched his memory for a girl appearing in the middle of the Nerv base and came up empty. He was running through it again when he realised that the girl was in fact staring straight at him.
Scrambling backwards on his feet and hands, Shinji desperately tried to put some distance between himself and the newcomer, deeming the dream suddenly a little to freaky for his personal comfort. The girl grinned and moved closer, her odd skirt swishing as she did so. The hem, while high at the front - just above her knees, trailed down the back of her calves at the back. Various earthen shades, dusky browns and ambers made up her outfit which comprised of the skirt and a loose wrapping and blouse on top. Shinji couldn't help but notice that her smile seemed amused rather than sadistic as she approached. Abruptly he felt his back smack into the wall behind, so it was apparent that he wasn't going anywhere. When she stood before him, she frowned slightly and looked around, as if examining her surrounding for the first time. She paused when she looked up at the giant crimson orb, suspended over them like a giant drop of blood. She turned her attention back to the boy on the floor and smiled again, somewhat sadly it seemed.
"How 'bout we talk somewhere else? There are too many distractions here." Her tone made it unclear whether she meant for herself or for him. Smiling slightly wider the girl gestured absently.
Shinji looked out over the city, high up on the outlook that Misato had taken him to see after his first battle. He leant on the rail, a little startled at the new scenery, but now absolutely content that he was in a dream.
"It's not, you know." He turned to find the girl sitting on the steel railing next to him, her legs dangling out over the edge and a whistful expression on her face.
"It's not what?"
"It's not a dream. This is all real, just not the real that you're used to." She seemed much more subdued than she had before. Suddenly she grinned and turned to him. "Don't believe me? Here." Reaching out her arm she flicked him on the back of the head.
"Hey! That..hu..rt..." Shinji's eyes went wide and he leapt away from the girl once again. She grinned wider and flipped backwards off the rail, landing lightly on her toes. Her loose clothes whipped about her in the breeze. Her face softened again, countless emotions behind her eyes as she approached him. Frozen in abject terror Shinji was unable to move as she neared him.
"We have much to talk about, Shinji Ikari...but first I need to thank you. For setting me free." Still frozen the boy did not move as she leant in and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Slowly relaxing Shinji put his hand to his cheek, when she withdrew smiling at him softly.
"S-S-Setting you free? How did I-" The girl shook her head slightly and turned away, leaning on the rail as he had been. Torn for a second Shinji followed her hesitantly, believing that she meant him no harm. As he stood at her shoulder she smiled and gestured to the spot beside her. Leaning down as he was before he examined the girl again as she stared out over Tokyo-3. She looked to be the same age as him, maybe a little younger. She began to speak, her voice soft.
"You set me free when you broke the Angel's core, my prison. Then when you touched the fragment you saw just now, the fragment in your memories, that which was me was bequeathed unto you." Shinji stared. "The Angel which you saw was my physical body warped and twisted into a puppet to dance on strings. The core... the core is where I resided, trapped and unable to escape until my shell was killed." She turned to him and smiled. "And you killed me Shinji. You set me free." Shinji stumbled away.
"W-What...y-you..I had no choice...I." She placed a dusky caramel finger against his lips.
"I'm glad you did. And so are the others."
"O-Others?" The girl nodded.
"The others that you killed. But unlike me they are still trapped within the fragments of their cores, unable to walk free." She sighed. "You are a unique individual Shinji Ikari. I have lain dormant inside you, unable to talk to you until now since the time you touched the core months ago. I tried desperately to discover why you accepted my Nihro'du and none of the others who scrambled over my prison did. I do not yet know the answer, but I hope to find out."
"I'm sorry.. butI don't understand. You've been inside me all this time?" The girl nodded, her gaze on the trees that surrounded them.
"My physical body was destroyed when the Angel died. My spirit, my soul, that which is the Nihro'du is my incorporeal existence and is all that remains. And that is what resides within you." Shinji was suddenly taken back to what Ritsuko had said in the bay holding the core.
"This genome Misato...it looks like it's mutated or been altered. I don't think we're looking at the Angel's true forms. I think that they're something completely different."
"You were changed... weren't you?" The girl cocked her head to the side at his question. Then she nodded sadly.
"Yes. I...we do not look like the forms which you see us in. This is my true form." She gestured to herself quickly to illustrate her point. "We were changed against our wills. And when we Fell... we were warped. Becoming nothing more than puppets." A tear streaked down her face, her eyes wet with those yet to be shed. "They abused us." She whispered hoarsely. Shinji merely stood by, not knowing what to say or do. The girl turned away.
"Each of us.. we were guardians of this scape, this universe as you would call it. We were entrusted with it's protection at the beginning of time, to protect it and watch over it's inhabitants until the petals of it's existence close once more and all is dark again. Until the next time." Turning back to Shinji it seemed that she had regained her composure, her wild golden eyes meeting his. "The 'scape' exists forever. But 'forever' only means until the end of time. When time ends so does forever. 'Eternal' is outside time, it simply is, irrespective of time. That is what we are. We exist and always have and always will. But each time we exist... we fall." She shuddered violently and held out a trembling hand to steady herself on the rail. Shinji moved forward without thinking and grasped her arm, trying to lend her his strength. She looked at him in askance and he pulled his hand away awkwardly when he realised what he had done. Looking away the girl wrapped her arms around herself. Eventually she began to speak again.
"The universe exists forever and then dies, again and again into eternity. But every time we are used to destroy the lilim, it rips away a part of the universe. It leaves a rent in the fabric of the scape. Gaping holes in the firmament where there is simply nothing there the next time the universe is born. The scape screams in pain for those who can hear it. It shrieks in agony and terror. Each time it is reborn it is a little less. That is how the being beyond the gate feeds." Her voice was subdued, now returning to a whisper and Shinji could see her quaking in fear of this being she spoke of. "Someday it will consume all there is. And then there will be nothing." Wrapping her arms tighter around herself, she looked like she was about to cry once again. "When it controls us, it tells us it will devour us one day. It will swallow our eternal souls and we will be no more. And we cannot stop it." Abruptly the dark skinned girl began to sob, quaking in fear and sorrow. Feeling useless once again Shinji hesitantly placed a hand on her shoulder. Looking at him through teary eyes the girl threw herself at him and sobbed on his chest, while the boy stood still as a statue, unsure how to deal with this sudden development.
Females treating him like this was unheard of, and he was seriously considering jumping over the railing behind him as a viable escape route. Eventually calming down slightly he loosely placed his arms around her back and held her while she cried, not knowing what else to do. After an age her crying slowed. Still pressing herself against his chest for comfort the young woman began to speak again.
"Every time the lilim fall a little bit more of then universe dies. Soon the fabric will unravel, and the universe in it's entirety will be devoured." He voice was quiet in the cool air of the overlook, the sounds of the city too distant to intrude. Swallowing nervously Shinji spoke.
"W-Why does it matter if humans survive or not? I mean we're not that essential to the universe, are we?" The girl looked up to meet his eyes and he sensed surprise in her eyes at his question.
"The lilim are the Children of God. It is only you and you alone that stand between the universe and.. and the darkness. Every time the lilim die so does the 'scape'. You're combined souls hold the gate closed. Should you all die then that barrier disappears." Shinji had a flash of insight, while thinking that she had not been about to say 'the darkness'. She had been about to say something else.
"You're talking about an AT Field aren't you?" The girl nodded.
"Yes, what you call an AT Field. Each lilim has one, but together you hold the.. the darkness back with the combined might of all the Children of Lilith. Had one of us come into contact with either Adam or Lilith, then you're AT Fields would have been stripped from you and the shield would be gone." She moved away from Shinji and met his gaze evenly. "This is the first time that we have all been defeated. The first time that the lilim have survived our attack. With all of us dead there is no-one else for the darkness to control."
"Then, that's good right? It means the dangers over?" The girl smiled tremulously up at him.
"I hope that is the case, yes. In this state I can do no harm and nor can the others."
"Did they all survive?" Shinji felt a glimmer of hope.
"Yes. All are trapped within shards of their cores, scattered across the world. I can sense them vaguely. I know they are out there but I do not know where."
"So Kaworu-"
"Is gone. He was not truly one of us. He was as Rei Ayanami is. An artificial Angel, a construct. His soul was not the same as ours. His was human and it has gone where the souls of all other lilim go in death. He has returned to Lilith." Shinji felt his brief hope stutter and die and in it's death it brought waves of sorrow and depression.
"I am sorry for his death. But it was the only way for the universe to live. I know that is not consolation for a friend's death, but it is what he wanted I think." Shinji smiled tightly at the concerned girl, startled at how quickly he had forgotten that she was, in essence, the second Angel that he had killed. He suddenly felt tired, as if his life had been leached out of him and nothing but an empty exhaustion remained. There was only one question left now.
"So what now then? What do you need from me? What is it you expect me to do?" His tone was cold and flat. The girl looked startled and seemed to have trouble meeting his gaze, disturbed by his sudden change of mood. Shinji grunted and turned away, moving apart from the girl and returning to looking out over Tokyo-3. In the sudden silence a car appeared from behind them and disappeared round the corner, taking it away from the city. Shinji no longer cared if this was reality or a perfect illusion and dismissed the vehicle from his mind. After the sound of the car had faded Shinji heard the girl approach him hesitantly.
"I-I have no right to ask this of you..." She paused. "Please... the others are still trapped in their cores...I can't help them alone. I need help." Shinji felt himself snap.
"So, you want me to wander across the globe, looking for the remnants of the creatures that tried to destroy humanity. Do I understand you correctly?" He wasn't sure but he thought she was crying again. "I have killed a friend and maimed another. One was mind-raped before my eyes and I could do nothing to stop the death of the closest thing I have to family. All because of my weakness and the Angels. Give me one good reason that I should help you." He could hear her sobs once again and felt them tug at his heart. Stolidly he ignored her tears. He was sick of being used, of having his life hijacked. Eventually the girl fell silent.
"I cannot. There are no reasons for you to help me. I'm sorry." All Shinji could hear was the gentle wind ruffling the leaves of the trees that stood behind him. The breeze brushed his longer bangs in front of his eyes, obscuring his view of the steel and stone edifices that towered above the streets of Tokyo-3 for a few seconds. He sighed and turned around, finding the girl staring at the floor. He could see the dark patches on the road where her tears had fallen.
"What's you're name?" His voice was steady and even. How could he be nervous in such absurd circumstances as these? Shinji felt exhausted and was beginning to loath himself for the decision that he could fell himself starting to make. The girl looked up and Shinji could easily see that all her crying had given her red eyes and the tear streaks on her face were clearly visible. She smiled softly through her tears, a smile so sorrowful it was heart wrenching.
"My name is Shamshel." Sighing deeply Shinji looked away from her, not feeling up to meeting her eyes.
"Give me time to think about it. I'm not making any promises...give me time to think." Out of the corner of his eye he could see Shamshel's smile turn brilliant and he turned away further. He didn't see her approach him and nearly jumped when he felt her lips against his cheek for a second time. "Hey, I said I wasn't making any promises!" Shamshel shook her heat, her golden eyes shining once again.
"I know. But you're thinking about it. That's more than most would do." Now suddenly animated and gleeful the dusky skinned girl leapt over Shinji and landed perfectly on the railing behind them. Standing on the thin plain of metal she turned back to the boy. "Shall we go home then, Shinji?" The boy turned back to the view and nodded silently. Shamshel hesitated.
"Shinji... I don't know what will happen when we go back. You are the first lilim in eternity to have accepted a Nihro'du. I think the most that will happen is that you can hear my voice. You might not be able to respond, but you should at least be able to hear me. So be prepared ok?" Listening attentively to the young woman's explanation, Shinji nodded once again.
Shamshel beamed at him over her shoulder and flourished her hands in a intricate pattern Shinji couldn't follow. His last fleeting thought echoed in his mind unnnervingly
'What could control an Angel?' Whatever it was he never wanted to meet it.
"Ouch." Shinji stared at the ceiling from his position, flat on his back in the middle of the kitchen. Slowly levering himself up from the floor he saw that the fridge door was open. Three cans of Yebisu and a puddle of milk was on the floor, only a few drops falling from the overturned carton. Instantly he stiffened, waiting to hear Shamshel's voice or to see anything indicating she was trying to contact him. He lay on the floor silent and waiting. Eventually he noticed that Pen-Pen was staring at him like he was an idiot, his beak and eyes peeking around the corner of his fridge. Blushing and feeling like a fool, Shinji scrambled to his feet, hurrying to clean up the mess on the floor so he had an excuse to avoid the penguin's mocking gaze.
'Dammit I refuse to be mocked by a penguin!'
"Y'know Pen-Pen I think I'll let Misato cook tonight. It's been a while since I've eaten someone else's cooking. What do you think?" The penguin glared at him and withdrew hastily into his frozen abode. Shinji was left feeling slightly depressed that outsmarting a three foot bird gave him so much satisfaction.
Leaning back on the counter, the mess tidied away Shinji considered his earlier episode.
"Was it just a dream...?" 'It must have been. That would just never happen in reality. I must have knocked myself out or fainted or something. Besides I haven't heard any voices or anything. It must have been a dream.' Resolute in his decision, Shinji abandoned the idea of breakfast, no longer feeling as hungry as he had been before. Instead he opted to head straight into the shower, deciding to make the best of his guardian's temporary absence. Quickly returning to his room to retrieve his toiletries Shinji slipped across the corridor to the bathroom, not wanting to awaken his guardian if she was still asleep.
Locking the door behind him, a habit he had aquired after Asuka had insisted they have a lock installed on the bathroom at least he quickly stripped... and promptly fell over. After he scrambled back to his feet, he stared at himself in the mirror. The red mark on his cheek where his face had impacted with the floor caught his attention briefly but that was not what held his gaze. His normally rakishly thin frame had... changed. Shinji was no expert with such matters, but he thought his muscles, such as they were, looked more toned then they had. The abstract thought that Touji would probably be able to tell him flittered fleetingly across his mind. There was no major change and when fully clothed no one would notice a difference, but in some indefinable way he looked different than he had remembered himself looking.
'Maybe that bump on the head messed me up more than I thought.' He mused turning away from the mirror. Then he had an aneurysm.
"What the holy hell?" Shamshel was stood directly behind him, looking as shocked as he felt. Her golden eyes were wide and she was gaping at him, staring at his face in shock. He watched as the girls eyes slowly traveled away from his face in a decidedly downward direction. They stopped again and her dusky brown cheeks bloomed a soft rose.
"AH!" Shinji wasn't sure which surprised him more, seeing her at all, or seeing her in the bathroom while he was buck naked. He knew which of the two he was less pleased about though.
Shamshel, still frozen in place barely noticed a pink fleshed tornado gather his things and flash past her, running into the door twice before remembering to unlock it, mildly concussing himself in the process. Her blush intensified and she swallowed loudly.
Misato Katsuragi was lying in, trying to sleep away her sorrows, since it was too early in the morning to drown herself in beer, even by her standards. Her finely attuned 'Beer Sense' had shunted her out of a troubled sleep when the cans of Yebisu tumbled from the fridge, but Misato was too tired to be paying much attention and merely spun in her futon, attempting to claw her way back to sleep. For a time the Nerv Major succeeded and fell into a land of happier dreams, consisting notably of dancing beer cans and endless sources of curry flavoured ramen.
Sadly just when she was in the midst of her dance with a six foot silver can of Yebisu, surrounded by other dancing couples made comprising of various alcoholic beverages she was torn out of her slumber by a jumbled roar of incredulity.
"...Shin..ji...?" Blinking repeatedly, Misato grunted, before a second yell galvanised her into action. Rolling off her futon and into the nearest pile of neatly stacked garbage, burying herself in five year old beauty magazines, she crawled rapidly across the floor of her room, avoiding deathtraps and the earlier instances of her cooking which were chained rather docilely to the wall, slamming her door open just in time to see Shinji running out of the bathroom, his arms full of toiletries, and not a stitch of clothing on.
"MISATO! Thank God! There's ah...Misato what are you looking at me like that for?"
It suddenly occurred to the young pilot that things were not going the way he could have wished. Firstly there was no way he was going to tell Misato Katsuragi that a girl who used to be an Angel had magically appeared in their bathroom. Nor would it have made a difference apparently because Shamshel had just passed him and was standing in front of his commanding officer and waving a hand in front of her face, without any apparent result. Even more nauseating, she then proceeded to pass her hand through Misato's head with the same lack of response.
"Doesn't look like she can see or feel me. I think it's because I'm not really here..." She had turned around now and suddenly trailed off abruptly. Shinji was confronted by two women, one with golden hair and one with purple staring at him. Then in unnerving unison their gazes traveled away from his face to stop at a point that was noticeably lower. Once again in disturbing synchronisation, they cocked their heads to the side slightly and blushed.
Memory caught up with him and he felt a distinctive draft were no draft should be.
"AGH!" Spinning on his heel he blurred back to his room, dropping his toiletries in the process and leaving a Shinji shaped afterimage in the air in front of the two women. The two women didn't stop staring even after he had gone.
Shinji lay on his bed glaring at Shamshel who had the grace to look sheepish from her position, cross-legged on the floor. After his earlier escapade he had dressed and tried to convince Misato that his apparent earlier bout of temporary insanity was nothing to be concerned about. She would no doubt tease him mercilessly about this for some time to come.
"I didn't think our interaction would be this extensive. I thought the limit would be perhaps being able to talk to each other, not anything like this." The bronze skinned girl was talking animatedly, bursting with excitement. Shinji found it hard to echo her enthusiasm.
"But what is going on? Why can I see you?" The girl grinned at him.
"I think I'm projecting an image of myself from within you and you alone can see it. So far it's happened instinctively, but if I concentrate I think I can dissolve the image." As he watched she closed her eyes, seemingly focusing. With a quake in the air like thunder without sound she was gone, leaving afterimages in the air, almost like ripples on water. "It worked!" Shinji glanced around quickly finding that her image was totally gone. "I'm within you! And... I think if you try you can come here to..." She trailed off obviously confused at the logistics of him going into himself. Shinji wasn't too thrilled about it either.
"Say what? How can I go into myself?" He sensed both confusion and amusement from her, a presence like a weight in the centre of his torso, an itch that had not been there before. It wasn't an itch that needed scratching though, it seemed to merely be making it's presence known. It felt like she had commandeered a portion of his body for herself.
"The spirit and the mind are separate and one at the same time. While one can exist without the other, the whole is much stronger than the sum of it's parts."
"...Wuh?" Shinji felt that quoting Touji was best at a time like this. He heard Shamshel sigh.
"I think if you concentrate you can delve into yourself to where I now reside. Please just try ok? I want to know the answer!" She sounded like a little child, not wanting anything kept secret from her thought Shinji.
'What harm can it do?' He frowned when he realised how stupid a question that really was.
"None at all." She laughed, a loud sound full of cheer and joy. Shinji however frowned.
"Wait a minute, you heard that?" She answered in the affirmative in a tone that clearly question his need to ask. "I didn't say that." 'I thought it.' She was silent at this revelation. "Does that mean you can hear my thoughts?" This was something Shinji felt understandably uncomfortable with.
"I think if they are directed at me, then yes I can here them." She paused. "Well come on then, concentrate, concentrate! I wanna know! Pleeaassee...?" Shinji sighed and mused to himself that having a woman co-inhabit his mind was not something to celebrate. Closing his eyes he tried to concentrate, a task made inordinately harder because he wasn't sure what he was meant to be concentrating on. It occurred to him randomly that if Shamshel wanted to she could be beyond annoying from her position safe inside his head. He remembered her smile, beaming at him.
'Yeah, well, she's all smiles now but-'
"YOU DID IT!" His eyes snapped open and he found himself in a field standing under a lone tree, whose branches arched out over his head. Spinning to find the source of the voice he found Shamshel sitting on a low branch in the tree, grinning happily. Pushing herself off she landed at Shinji's side and hugged him suddenly. "You did it! I was right!" She pulled back and continued to beam at him. Blushing furiously Shinji tried to distract himself from the fact that he was being hugged by a girl who had seen him naked twice.
"W-Where-" He stopped, somewhat embarrassed that his voice came out in a squeak. "Where are we?" Shamshel bounced away and spun around under the tree in joy.
"We're in one of your oldest memories Shinji. I don't know why we ended up here but I like it. What about you?" Shinji gazed out across the Apparently endless field, watching the ankle length grass shift in the light breeze. The sun was high in the sky and there wasn't a cloud in sight. Crouching down by a small cluster of yellow and white flowers Shinji tried to remember where this memory had come from, but he could not recall.
"Yes... I think I like it here too." He spun back to Shamshel, finding her gazing out across the field as he had. "So what now?"
"I think you should go back to you're body soon. If someone finds you while you are here then they might get worried." Shinji nodded in agreement. Misato was already worried about him. If she found him spaced out now he'd be having one to one sessions with Ritsuko about how he wet his bed once at the age of four before he could throw enough beers at her to keep her distracted. Closing his eyes again and thinking of his body, he opened his eyes to find himself face to face with a penguin.
"Wah?" Recoiling in shock Shinji leant back away from Pen-pen, who had been about an inch away from his face. Which was the only thing that saved his avian roommates life. Two curved spikes of ivory shot out of his lower forearm, one a few inches above the other. Jutting out of his arm at a forty-five degree angle and pointed up past his elbow they were long enough to meet his shoulder. As it was the spikes had slide past the penguins head, one on either side and impaled the wall behind him, so that they acted as horizontal bars on either side of him. Shinji wasn't sure if Pen-Pen's eyes were wider than his, but either way it was a close race. The penguin slowly edged downwards, and scooted sideways with great precision so that he was free of his impromptu prison. Keeping his wide unblinking eyes on the startled boy, he backed away towards the door. He was halfway there before he spun and made a run, well a waddle, for it.
Still staring at where his newly acquired ivory spikes impaled the wall, Shinji mentally threw a frantic question at Shamshel, resulting in her suddenly appearing next to him. Her gasp, silent to anyone else was perfectly audible to him. Slowly he removed the spikes from the wall, leaving two nicely rounded holes in their wake. Flexing his arm unconsciously they abruptly retracted into his forearm, leaving smooth unblemished skin.
Shamshel stared at him, muttering to herself.
"Physical alterations? Has taking in my Nihro'du given him my abilities as well...?"
"WHAT THE HELL?" It was hard to scream and whisper at the same time but Shinji gave it his best shot under the circumstances. Then he heard hurried footsteps outside his room and switched his gaze to the holes in his wall, the gears in his brain churning.
It had not been a good day thus far for Misato Katsuragi. Not that seeing Shinji's... not-so-little-friend wasn't without it's perks but after that she found that she had to fend for herself at breakfast and seeing as she was fairly certain that if she attempted to make toast she'd burn the apartment complex down, she had settled for dry cereal, seeing as all the milk had disappeared. She had then, in true Misato Katsuragi fashion, decided that it was not the taste of milk that made cornflakes palatable but the fact that it was wet. Ergo any liquid substance would be an adequate alternative.
She was halfway through her third bowl of her newly christened breakfast, 'Yebisu Flakes', when her warm water penguin waddled into the kitchen at high speed and started jumping up and down frantically in front of her, obviously distressed. After watching him gyrate in panic for a few minutes and quashing an absurd desire to refer to her first roommate as 'Skippy' and ask him if anyone was trapped down a well, she gathered that her pet was upset.
Getting a surprisingly good grip on her pant's leg with a flipper Pen-Pen proceeded to drag Misato to outside Shinji's door, where his spastic dance of panic continued. After a few more minutes of hesitant thought, resultant of those 'Yebisu Flakes', Misato knocked on her ward's door and after receiving a somewhat strangled aknowledgement slid the door open.
Shinji was sat on his bed, leaning on a pillow which was leaning against his wall and thumbing through an old manga, which appeared to be upside down and throwing a rather strained smile at her.
"What's up Misato?" The mauve haired woman said nothing, very conscious of her terrified penguin hiding behind her leg. Scanning Shinji's room for anything unusual she found nothing readily noticeable, so she turned her attention back to the boy.
"Hey Shinji. Whatcha doin?" She put on her best childish grin, trying to put him at ease.
"Oh, nothing much. Just reading really, y'know killing time." Misato noticed that his voice seemed rather strangled. She also noticed that he wasn't actually looking at her, but at a point a little to the right of her head. It gave her the unnerving feeling that there was someone behind her and she had to restrain her desire to turn and look. Suddenly Shinji's face dropped slightly, as if he had seen something slightly unpleasant. Feeling a little bit disturbed she gave a quick wave and decided to leave the boy to his own devices.
"Well, I just came to check on you. See ya later!"
Shinji breathed a sigh of relief, opening his mouth to say something to Shamshel, before realising that Pen-Pen was still standing in the doorway looking faintly accusing. Shinji grinned sheepishly and shrugged. The bird remained stoic before exiting his room after Misato and Shinji got the distinct feeling that the bird suddenly had a very personal vendetta against him.
Removing the pillow from the wall uncovering the two round holes in the wall he turned to the dark skinned girl and frowned. Watching her waving her hand in front of and then through Misato's face had been a little nauseating.
"Ok. What the hell is going on?" Shinji felt it was good that he was being calm. Shinji felt it was good that he had not broken down into a sobbing wreck of terror. Shinji felt it was good that his guardian did not know he had spikes randomly growing out of him. Shinji thought this was all good.
Shinji did not think the somewhat guilty smile on Shamshel's face was good. Not good at all.
Well there it is people. The first chapter of XVII. The title isn't really that hard to figure out if you think about it. Just as a couple of side notes, firstly this is not a Shinji/Shamshel fic. Secondly the spikes on his arms were based loosely on the vibrating blades possessed by Guyver 3 in the anime and manga 'Bio Booster Armour Guyver', with one above the other, in white ivory bone rather than grey whateverthehell.. Check the net for a pic. It'll be explained later. I'm not going to say when this will be updated because I want to do things a little slower than last time. Hopefully that will mean that the quality will be a little more consistent. Perfect Grade alterations for 'Send in the Rei's' will be up soon. Please read and review. Hulk Smash. Indeed.
Ja ne...
Must resist temptation to start on next chapter...must temptation...must... dies