Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders, only Teresa Macks and Matthew Block

Chapter 2 – Sodapop's POV

I walked down the street with my shoes still untied. I was too upset to tie them. Instead of putting my jacket on, I flung it over my shoulder and held onto it with one finger, wondering vaguely why I had even bothered to grab it. I sort of wished I had brought the letter with me, but then decided I probably would have just ended up chewing it up and spitting it out. Literally. I walked on, stewing in my own misery.

When I reached the lot, it was empty. I felt disappointed for some reason, even though I wanted to be alone. It was one of those mixed feelings where one half says "alone" and the other half says "company". Instead of quarreling with the little voices in the back of my head, I flopped down on the hard ground, immediately regretting that. My butt hurt now too, along with my heart. (author's note-yes, I know that was sort of cheesy, but the sentence didn't seem long enough.) So many thoughts were going through my head, I couldn't quite decipher one from the other. I imagined picking one out of a hat, reaching into a baseball cap full of little white wispy thread-like things that were thoughts, and pulling one out. I imagined reading it out loud and this is what I came up with:

Why?

I sighed. Wow. So specific there. I thought to myself. I decided that maybe I could rid myself of these nasty, nagging thoughts if I took a nice long walk and then circled back around to the lot. Maybe stop by Steve's place while I was at it. That sounded pretty good to me right then, so I got up and began walking again. My shoe slipped off and I bent down to put it back on. I tied them both up and started walking again. I remembered I had left my jacket in the lot. I mentally sighed. This is supposed to be a relaxing, mind-emptying walk, and here I am losing shoes and forgetting jackets. I thought, rubbing my temples. I tried a new strategy. No more thinking. That didn't work after about the first five steps, because I kept thinking, must not think. Must not think. Must not think. Finally, after a few more blocks and a couple rocks in my shoe, I arrived at the Dingo. I peered inside from a distance before venturing up into sight of everyone standing around outside. Darry would have said that it wasn't smart to go to the Dingo by myself, but I knew Tim Shepard would help me out if I got into a sticky situation. Him and his gang were always hanging around the Dingo.

Sure enough, as I approached, I felt an arm wrap drape around my shoulders. I didn't dare look to see who it was, so I waited.

"Hey Sodapop. Whatcha doing here by yourself?" I breathed a sigh of relief as I recognized Two-Bit's voice. I could smell booze on his breath, but that didn't surprise me.

"Just hanging out." I said, grinning at him. I liked Two-Bit. He could make people laugh just about as much as I could make people smile. Together we could keep people in stitches all night long.

He faked a head lock on me, and gave me a noogie. I wiggled away from him, smoothing down my hair.

"Hey now, man. Don't be messing up my hair," I joked, shaking my head so my hair all fell back into place.

"Ohhhhh. Did I mess up wittle Sodapop's hair?" He said in a joking baby voice. If you want to hear funny out of a tough hood like Two-Bit, that's exactly what could make anyone laugh. I began to laugh, and it felt good. I hadn't laughed at all yet today, and normally me and Pony did stuff together when I got home from work that made us both laugh. But lately he had his nose buried in that book of his.

"So. Two-Bit. Who are you here with?" I asked, looking around. Two-Bit sort of swayed on the spot, and I knew he was drunk. I was surprised he had even recognized me as myself and not someone else.

"Me? Shoot, kid. I'm still waiting for Dally to show up. He told me he would be here earlier today." He was swaying rather heavily now. I felt my heart sink. Maybe Two-Bit hadn't quite gotten over Dally's death yet. I knew he was drunk, but he was still waiting for Dally to get here, and that just about broke my heart, except for the fact that it was already broken. I looked up at him, and felt my eyes soften. I knew I wasn't gonna cry, I hadn't done that since I was about seven. I watched Two-Bit, swaying there, good-naturedly telling me what he was gonna do to Dally when he finally did get here.

"……I oughta strangle that little rascal, standing me up like this. Well….glory, I should go find him right now. Prolly over at Buck's agai…." He trailed off at the end. I sighed, stepping closer and putting my hand firmly, but gently on Two-Bit's shoulder.

"Two-Bit."

"Yeah…."

"Two-Bit….Dally ain't coming here tonight. Or any other night. In fact, he's never coming here. Or anywhere else. Dally's gone, Two-Bit." I said, trying to break it to him without actually breaking it to him. I figured maybe if I refreshed that drunk mind of his, maybe the past month's events would come back to him. It obviously didn't.

"Gone? You mean, he moved away? He didn't even come say bye to me." Two-Bit said, using me to support some of his weight. I wondered vaguely if maybe the alcohol he was drinking still hadn't kicked in fully. He had seemed ok when I had arrived, but he was getting worse and worse as the minutes ticked by. I sighed again.

"No, Two-Bit. Dally died." I looked up at Two-Bit's face. He looked genuinely confused. "Don't you remember that? Last month, Johnny…." I stopped in mid sentence. I hadn't talked much of Johnny since Pony's depression faze. I tried again, knowing Two-Bit wouldn't care, cause at the moment, he couldn't tell a cat from a horse. "Last month, Johnny and Ponyboy killed Bob, that mean old Soc. They had to run away. Dally helped them run away, and there was a fire in the church they were hiding out in. Johnny broke his back in the fire, trying to save some little kids. He was in the hospital. Then that one night, there was rumble. We beat the Socs, and Pony and Dally went to the hospital to tell Johnny and Johnny died. Dally couldn't take it and robbed a store, and then aimed an unloaded gun at police officers and they shot him. It killed him. He's dead, Two-Bit. He's not coming to meet you because he's dead." I took a deep breath. That was a lot to say to a drunk person, and I wasn't sure Two-Bit had even taken it all in. I let go of his shoulder. "Maybe you should just go on home, on. I'll walk you there." I added. I wanted to make sure he got home safe without getting jumped. That was the last thing we needed. Another death in the gang because he had been drunk.

"OK." Two-Bit agreed, nodding his head. He wasn't swaying so much any more, and could support his own weight once again. I wondered what kind of alcohol he was drinking. It seemed to hit him in spurts. I turned to walk out of the parking lot, Two-Bit next to me. We walked in silence all the way to his house, five blocks away. It was two more to the right and one to the left if I wanted to get to our house, and two left and two right if I wanted to get the lot. I watched him stumble into his house, and he turned to wave as he opened the door. When he turned to walk back inside, he ran into the screen door that he hadn't yet opened. I heard him muttering to himself as he opened it. Both doors slammed behind him, and I saw a light flick on. I stood there for a while longer, and then decided I was easy prey for drunk Socs, so I turned left and began walking. When I arrived at the lot, I spotted my jacket laying in the same spot it had been when I had left, and I went over. Rustling sound scared me, and I jumped back.

"Hello?" I said. A figure sat up from under my coat. It was Pony. "Ponyboy! I thought you didn't want to come?"

"Yeah, well I didn't, but I changed my mind." He said. "Where you been?"

"At the Dingo with Two-Bit." I said, not wanting to explain in further detail. He nodded. It was silent for a while, and then I said, "We should probably get home. Darry'll get us both if we're not home before ten." I grabbed my jacket, and extended a hand to Ponyboy. He took it and I pulled him to his feet and let go of his hand.

The walk home was silent. There was something about me and Ponyboy and silences. They weren't uncomfortable, like they were with most people. They were actually kind of nice when I was with Pony. When we got home, Pony went into the bathroom to wash up for supper, and I went into the kitchen and grabbed plates out of the cupboard and began to set the table for dinner. Darry was cooking chicken for us.

"Where were you guys?" He asked, stirring a sauce on the stove.

"Taking a walk down the lot." I replied, setting out knives and forks.

"Oh. I uh….saw your letter. From Sandy. Sorry, little buddy. I thought you guys could work it out." I stared at him in amazement. Darry had never said anything that personal to me. I snapped out of my reverie and replied,

"Oh…uh….yeah. Thanks." I think…I thought. I finished setting the table and went into the living room, vaguely thinking that my walk had been to empty my mind of stuff, but instead I had just added to it by thinking of Dally and Johnny again. I sighed, thinking that it was going to be a loooong summer.