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Sango's Interlude- Mockingbird
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I am Sango Takahashi, daughter of one of the most respected families in the medical industry.
To the majority of the press, I was the daughter of a psychotic murderer.
Paparazzi. The most dangerous type of stalker. The blinding cameras and nosy reporters were ruthless; one camera flash could destroy lives. Yet, they say "the public has a right to know." Of all the outrageous things in the world: murder, rape, every unspeakable act of man, they were focused on beating down the innocent.
Including herself.
"Miss Takahashi!"
"Dr. Takahashi, can you answer a few questions?"
They swarmed in her yard, their sea of questions and camera flashes. Miroku held his coat over her. She didn't need this, not now. No one deserved this kind of torment. From under the large coat, he could barely make out her face, her eyes shielded by the shadow of her hair. It was raining; the weather not quite cold enough for snow.
She could feel his eyes on her, not having to look at him to know the sympathy in his eyes. Each of the paparazzo's constant probing hit her like a knife to her back. A certain blade had her in just the right place, into an old wound, and reopening it.
It was amazing how one person could ruin someone's life.
She was led inside by several hands. She didn't even remember walking into the house, now finding herself sitting on the couch. He sat beside her, silence between them, and through the house. She sat, her palms resting on her forehead.
The day had been tiring, to say the least. Kohaku's plunge could be one of many, he was slowly slipping in out of comatose, his condition still critical. After numerous questions from the police department and several run-ins the press, neither her body nor her mind could take anymore stress.
Without so much as a glance his way, she stood up, turning and ascending up the stairway. Several moments later, the sound of running water was heard.
Miroku frowned. In the past forty-eight hours, her soul had literally been beaten beyond its breaking point. She was silent until she had to speak. Her movements were mechanical, her face showing no joy, no pain, no sign of life at all. She had rebuilt the barrier she had just started to let down, and trapped herself it, suffocating herself in it.
He sighed, silently hoping she didn't decide to drown herself. After all, there was only so much one human being could take.
Sango dipped her head under the water, enjoying the eternal silence, the only sound was from the water hitting against her eardrums. She waited for the feel of her lungs begging for air, but it never came.
It was then she realized just how numb she was.
Surfacing, she eyed the full length mirror from across the room, noting just how bad she looked. Her tired, red eyes had a slight darkness forming underneath, which made her look like she had aged practically overnight. Some of her own patients looked better than she did. They probably felt a hundred times better. She snapped her head away from the mirror in disgust. She was the last person she wanted to see.
She wanted to die.
'Why me?'
It was the question she asked herself for the past three years. Continuing questions of her existence rang in her head. She felt hollow, dead, detached. The whole day had been a blur of demons, only a few choice moments stuck out in her head like a recurring nightmare. She would give anything to be a child again, oblivious to the hatred and sin around her, only worrying about what games she would play during the day and how long her parents would let her stay up.
She sighed, wrapping a towel around herself. Her brown eyes came to the mirror again.
'This is what I've become…'
The numb feeling overwhelmed her again, it wasn't until she saw the glass shards at her feet that she even knew the mirror was broken. Her eyes ran over every broken piece, her eyes emotionless.
No matter how many times you break the mirror, it will always reflect what it sees…
She exited the bathroom, ignoring the pain in her feet from where the glass cut her. After dressing herself, she sat down on the bed, absentmindedly plucking out shards of glass out of her feet.
I didn't have to see him to know he was there…
"You what the saddest thing in the world is?" she asked quietly.
He shook his head. "What?"
"The saddest thing is when a child is yanked out of childhood, the very first time they realize there is evil in the world, and not those fairy tale worlds they dream about. That look in their eyes, an almost broken disappointment. I think that's why most parents read them fairy tales and want them to stay young forever, because they don't want them to lose that blissful innocence. If I could've prevented that from happening to Kohaku, I would've given my life to do so. Our parents tried to protect us from that… and they're dead because of it."
She jumped in surprise, as she felt two hands on her shoulders. It took her a moment to realize he was sitting behind her, his head resting softly on her shoulder.
"I'm not going to lie to you, Sango," he whispered, "I'm not going to pity you, I'm not going to say the pain will go away. Thinking about them will always bring back that need for them, but you don't have to hold onto the pain, to hold onto the memories."
"I-It's not even that," she replied, "it's the fact that the man who killed them is getting away with it! Where the hell is the poetic justice?"
"Yes, it true, the world is ultimately going to cheat you out of your happily ever after. Very few are actually happy with their lives, and no one leaves this earth without feeling terrible pain. And if there's no afterlife, no chance to make it up, no divine explanation for it all, that would truly be the saddest and scariest thing of all. People aren't afraid of dying, they're afraid of what comes after, if anything does come after at all."
A moment of silence filled the room. There was no sound of cars outside, the freezing rain had slowed to a quiet drizzle. The house was almost completely dark, with the exception of the moonlight coming in through the window.
"How… did you know what to do?"
"Hmm?"
"When you… saved Kohaku's life."
She could hear him chuckle behind her, but could almost sense the despair coming off of him.
"I spent half of my late childhood in the hospital. I've watched sick children die on several occasions, and I never turned away, I watched exactly what they were doing. And each time a child died, I wondered when it was going to be my turn. My father knew what I was thinking, that's why he did what he did. He knew what I know now. Besides, Kohaku reminds me of myself at a younger age, after my father died. That's part of the reason I went on my 'pilgrimage'."
"… And what did you find on your pilgrimage?"
His hand rested on top of hers in a soft gesture. She didn't have to see him to know he was smiling.
"I found home."
She was falling.
What she had fallen from or where she was falling to, she didn't know. All she knew was that she was it was black, she was alone, and she was falling into thin air. She didn't even feel the wind her face as she fell, as if she was falling into something much emptier than water or air.
As she fell, she knew she was reaching the bottom of the infinite abyss. She smiled, despite her fear. It would all be over soon…
Suddenly, she wasn't falling anymore.
Instead, she was dangling in mid-air by her arm, the darkness of the abyss below her. Hesitantly, she looked up, fearing it was the demon that had chased her through her nightmares a hundred times before. But what she saw was the exact opposite.
"Miroku…"
He smiled at her. His hand was latched onto her wrist, holding her as if she weighed nothing. "Sango."
He was floating above her, or more like flying. Two large, brown feathered wings were spread out behind him, but did not move, as if he didn't need them to stay up. Other than that, Miroku looked about as normal was the day she'd met him, from his long trench coat to his worn jeans.
She looked back down at the abyss. What was once black and colorless was now a natural blue. It was an ocean; spread from horizon to horizon connecting with the dawn sky.
Sango's eyes returned to her rescuer. The kind smile was still fresh on his face as he held her. "Let go," she said sternly.
He shook his head, still holding a firm grip on her wrist. Miroku took her up higher to prove his point, pulling her with him as he sailed towards the clouds.
"Let me go, this is just a dream."
"Just what is so great down there that you would want to lose all this?" he asked, motioning his hands towards the skies, "you just want to drown? Just because it gets rid of the questions doesn't mean it's the answer."
She watched him with an odd look. "That's… one of the things my father used to say…"
He shrugged. "Well, if I'm just a dream, I can't really tell you something you don't already know. So, are you ready?"
"Ready for what?"
Facing her, he lifted both of his hands, wiggling his fingers. She looked down at herself, realizing he was no longer holding her.
"So are you ready to move on?"
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I had a dream that night, I was flying. And in the corner of my eye, I could see someone, drowning, in the same air that was keeping me afloat. I didn't need to see her to know that person was me. Should I save her? Then I heard your voice, saying: "Don't look back". So I went on, and left the girl to drown…
Love,
Sango
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Another short interlude. For some reason, I don't like this chapter, except the last paragraph. And for those of you who missed it: In earlier chapters, Miroku stated that he personifies death with his mother. In this case, he relates Sango with home, a place of belong and most of all- love. When Miroku said, "I've found home." He basically told Sango he loved her.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
This story has been up officially for a year, mostly because my computer broke for two months and another two months was spent trying to finish another story. Hopefully, there will be no more of those "vacations."
And, since people don't read the author's notes: If you have given me your e-mail address asking to see the character sketches, the sketches are now on deviantART under the name "Lyn713". Don't forget to comment! And check out my other works, my very first CGs.
Now that I'm done advertising and ranting…
Preview of Next Chapter:
"Naraku?"
Sango nodded, watching the younger girl. Kagome seemed hesitant for some reason, as if she was deciding something in her mind.
"Kagome?"
"Naraku…" Kagome repeated, "I know someone… who can help you find him."
Posted 1/11/04, Happy Anniversary