hi! this was kind of a way for me to let out my anger about Warrick getting married... and by the way, I heard from Amberkyep that William Peterson's nephew died. :'( I felt so sad when I read that. I hope William Peterson feels better aftera while. well... here's the story...

How could he? How the hell could he hurt me like this? He's always known I had a thing for him… And even when I tell him, he doesn't respond. Jeez, you'd expect something like this from Grissom.

"Screw you Warrick," I mutter under my breath. "Fuck you." I don't deserve this. I should just forget about him. I have too much responsibility to be worrying about him. I have Lindsey, and it's not like I'm not a CSI anymore. I laugh slightly.

"Hey Catherine," Greg says loudly, jogging up to me.

"Hi," I say, trying to smile. He doesn't seem to notice my mood. "Have something for me?"

"Oh, actually, uh," he grins. "Sara, Brass and I are getting some breakfast. Wanna come?"

Finally, something to get my mind off of Rick. "Sure," I say, smiling for real this time. "I'll just change." I get into the locker room, and find Warrick.

Damn it! I cry in my head. I don't look at him, just open my locker to change into new clothes. This is certainly a time I wish we had two locker rooms.

I finish, rushing out the room.

"Cath!" I hear his voice behind me. I don't want to turn, but I do.

"Yeah?" I ask, my face stone. He looks sad. I almost try to slap him. Why does he do this? I'm the one hurting!

"Hey," he says looking at me with those beautiful eyes. A green that I've grown to love. And hate. "Are you okay? I mean… I know you're upset. But you seem so… different."

"I'm fine, I told you how I feel. But I'm over it Warrick," I say, walking away.

"Catherine!" he shouts down the hall. I look back, and shake my head. He gives up.

As I get in Greg's Tahoe, I notice the looks he and Sara are giving me. Brass even seems to notice.

"You okay Cath?" he asks. I nod, knowing that they know I'm lying.

At the diner, Sara grabs me by the arm and whispers, "Come with me." She leads me to the women's restroom, which is empty.

"Yeah?" I ask, confused.

"I know what's going on with you," Sara says. I look at her. "I've always known you had a thing for Rick." I stare at her. "It's okay… and I'm sorry. Just try to get your mind off him, try going out with some new guys or something." She smiled hopefully.

"Okay… You know Sara; I don't know if I should be listening to your advice. It's just, you aren't exactly great at getting over stuff," I say. To my surprise, she laughs.

"Yeah," she says, turning red. "I guess you're right. But really Cath, you gonna be okay?" I nod, smiling gratefully at her. She and I have always had problems with each other, but I think being the only two women on our team, we kind of have an understanding. We head back out.

That afternoon, before I go to the next shift, I knock on Lindsey's door. She yells for me to come in.

"Hi," I say softly as I walk in. She looks up from her desk where she's doing homework. She smiles uncertainly. She can tell something's wrong.

"You okay Mom?" she asks. I nod slightly. "Seriously," she adds. "Did something happen at the lab?" She looks worried. I don't want to say bad things about Warrick to her, she loves him.

"No, nothing happened." I say. "I was just checking on you before I leave… I love you sweetie." I hug her, but draw back, sensing she is uncomfortable.

"Is it Warrick?" she asks, with a knowing look. "Is he hurt?" She's panicking.

"No, no," I comfort her. "He's fine… actually, he got married." I put on a fake smile. I feel so helpless, telling my daughter things. Not being able to hide my hurt from her.

"Oh," she says, her voice sounding deflated. "And you're okay with that?" I feel shocked, but not so much. Lindsey's smart. Of course she would've figured out how I felt about Warrick by now. "Mom?" she looks at me.

"Yeah, I'm fine Lindsey," I say smiling. "I'm happy for him." The words sound false even to my own ears. She smiles sympathetically and hugs me.

"Bye Lindsey," I say.

"Bye Mom," she answers as I leave.

Shift is tough to handle tonight. I'm not "all there". I keep wondering what it would've been like if Warrick and I had kissed that day, we were investigating a kid's death in a pipe system. I had wanted to kiss him so badly… I shake it off, bringing my mind back to the current case: a man run over on the side of the road. But he didn't die there; the killer threw the body over a bridge, into a freezing river. The man drowned. I wish to myself that I could just drown. I wouldn't have to think about Warrick ever again.

After the shift, I am in the locker room again, when Nick comes in.

"Hey Cath," he says. I smile. "You okay?"

I frown, "Everyone's been asking me that a lot lately."

He smiles apologetically, "Sorry… we know you were upset when you found out about Rick and Tina." I feel tears starting to form in my eyes.

"I'm okay, Nicky," I say, trying to blink away the tears. But he sees them. He wraps his arms around me, letting me cry.

I feel even more helpless. But I poor out my feelings to Nick like I never could to Warrick.

"I just don't know what to do!" I cry. "I told him, but it's too late, isn't it. I'm sorry Nicky." I brake away, wiping my tears with my trembling hand. His smile tells me it'll be okay. I'll be okay.

Suddenly, Warrick comes in. I stop sniffling immediately, pretending to gather up my things. Nick gets up to change at his locker.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Warrick give him a look. Nick finishes changing, and leaves. Warrick looks at me.

"Cath," he says, stepping towards me. I look away. "Come on Catherine!" I am frustrating him. He's confused. But I don't care. He's hurt me so much; it pleases me to see him off balance. "Damn it Cath! Are you ever going to start working with me again? I mean really working with me. Not trying to pretend like nothing's happened. Are you ever going to really talk to me?" he looks so hurt, it pains me even more.

"Cath—" he begins. "I'm sorry. I just… can't deal with this. Catherine, you're my friend. But lately, you don't seem like it." I cringe.

"Rick, I…" I start to cry a little again. But I don't try to hide it. "I'm so sorry… like I said before: it just sucks." I smile. He is crying too.

I reach out to him, and embrace him. As a friend. I listen to my heart. And it tells me that I can let go. It feels great to be his friend, if nothing more.

Truly, I know I will always love him. And I can just wait until I get my chance to be with him…

author note: hope you liked it! I don't know if I'll make a sequel... please review!