Memoir of Kagome,
We all have different personas. There's how we act with our friends, with our families, and with complete strangers. We usually only be our true selves around loved ones, or sometimes just when we're alone. Sometimes we hide our true selves completely, with a smile, with anger, or with sadness.
We can all act; just some can do it better than others. The good ones, they call crazy.
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Session Thirty- Schizophrenia
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"Damn, damn, damn, damn!"
Kagome groaned, leaning her head against the steering wheel, causing the car horn to drone on endlessly with her. She stomped on the gas pedal again, only receiving silence from the old car. "First I bomb my calculus exam, now I can't even get to work!"
"Would you quiet down?" Inuyasha jumped in, peeking one eye open. He was laid out in the backseat, his suitcase propped underneath his head as he picked at the sleeves of his school uniform, never ceasing to show his disdain for the outfit. Kagome, however, had changed into her powder blue candy striper uniform (which Inuyasha proclaimed "makes her look like Alice in Wonderland").
"You know," he spoke up again, "for twenty bucks, I could fix your car for ya."
"You can?" She blinked. "Wait- I save your life on two occasions, break you out of jail, let you live in my family's house- for free I may add- and you charge me?"
"Bullshit talks, money walks."
"Isn't it, 'money talks, B.S. walks'?"
"Not in this case, now cough it up."
Kagome rolled her eyes, then directed her vision to the hood of the car, which was now emitting smoke. She just wanted the car for a little extra freedom… now she just wanted it so she could run him over with it.
She tossed him the money, and he got out the car, peeking under the hood. She could hear him curse, as he rolled up his sleeves. "Do you a toolbox or something I could use?"
"Eh…"
He rolled his eyes. "Nevermind. There's a hardware store down the street, I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere."
She rolled her eyes. "I'm in a school parking lot, dressed up like Alice in Wonderland. Where would I go?"
He shrugged. "Disney World."
XX
"It reeks!"
Miroku looked over at Kohaku. "It's aged," he replied pointedly.
"It. Reeks." Kohaku repeated. "When was the last time you washed it?"
He held his trench coat to his nose, wincing slightly at the smell that emitted from it. Dropping it in the washing machine, he gave a lopsided grin. "The last time it rained."
Kohaku quirked an eyebrow at him, then shook his head in a defeated manner. What the hell did Sango see in him anyway?
"And what are you doing here?" Miroku asked, "You're usually out with Rin."
"She got all maternal on me. Her new brother's got all her attention at the moment, so I thought I'd stay away."
"Don't like kids?"
"I did, until he threw up on me," Kohaku replied pointedly, motioning to the shirt sitting on top of the laundry basket that oozed of baby formula. "Plus he looks so much like Sesshoumaru it's disturbing. Speaking of disturbing, why did you need me to help you do laundry?"
"I didn't," Miroku corrected, "I just need to talk to you." He propped himself onto the washing machine. Kohaku followed suit, setting himself on the dryer.
"How would you feel if I asked Sango to marry me?"
The youth was silent for a moment, occasionally opening his mouth as if trying to say something. He blinked once. Twice. Thrice. "Uh…"
"Was my question that surprising?"
"No, just…" Kohaku mumbled something under his breath, "are you asking me for my blessing?"
"Well, I didn't think you'd want me to just ask without permission. You're her brother after all, and since her father's not here, there's no one in this world who cares for her more."
Sango's brother sighed, absentmindedly picking at his sleeve. "Did Sango tell you about what happened to our parents?"
The wanderer nodded. "Yes, but like to hear your side of the story."
Kohaku pulled up his sleeve, feeling the skin on his forearm. The skin there had healed- he had not. "… he blew my father's brains out, right in front of me. I couldn't get image out of my mind, so I started cutting. It was stupid- it helped, but only for a moment."
"You're not the only one," said Miroku. He lifted his leg, pulling up his pants. Along his calve, there was a long, ugly brown scar. "I didn't get this kind of enlightenment easily. When I was seventeen, I was self-destructive. I was taking drugs, this one in particular, caused hallucinations."
"What did you see?"
"Spiders," he replied, "large, ugly spiders. They were all over me, crawling up my legs and arms. In a state of panic, I attempted to rid myself of them… with a kitchen knife. My friends took the knife away from me just in time, then the next thing I remembered, I was in the emergency room, getting my stomach drained. After that, I realized that after all my father had done for me when he died, I had been wasting. So I left everything behind, and went off on my own. What made you stop?"
Kohaku smiled. "Rin. She told me that if I was going to, she was going to do it too. The first time she did it was the last time we both did it, because I told her I never wanted to see her blood again. I just don't know how she does it, she always knows just which strings to pull."
Miroku returned the smile. "In Greek mythology woman was created to break man. Ironic, since the beginning of time we're taught to protect them, and they end up saving us. So," He hopped off of the washing machine, "Sango's at the university taking exams. What do you think would be a nice surprise for her when she gets home?"
The boy laughed. "I think our sorry butts will do."
XX
He was being followed.
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a pair of beady old eyes watching him over one of the shelves. The old man was probably the owner, and by the way he was watching him, a paranoid one.
'The old bastard probably thinks I'm gonna steal somethin'.'
Inuyasha rolled his eyes as the owner came out from behind the racks. He glared at him, not even trying to hide his disdain for the young man in his shop. "Are you looking for something?" said the owner.
"Maybe," violet eyes narrowed, "but that customer over there looks like they need some help."
The old man made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a snort before turning his back to him and stomping off in the other direction.
The old bastard probably thought he was some punk let loose on the streets, some convict would as quickly rob him than look at him. For a split second Inuyasha considered proving him right…
"Inuyasha?"
Kagome looked at him worriedly. "Forget about him," she said, "he knows nothing about you."
Suddenly, he really hated her.
"What do you know?"
She knew nothing about him or his world. She had never held a gun, never walked out of a grocery store with that weeks food in her pockets, never worried about where he was going to sleep every night, never been jumped or beaten on a regular basis for even considering the right thing.
She was a shrine keeper; he was a child of the streets. Kagome lived in a warm home all of her life; he had lived wherever he was standing. Kagome slept with sweet dreams; he stayed awake, seeing things she had only seen in her nightmares. Kagome had her feet on the ground; he was hung by a thread. She pitied him and offered her sweet smiles, because he was oh so poor Inuyasha. She didn't know, she would never know…
…She had no idea what it was like to wake up and know that there was absolutely no one in the world that loved her.
Her small body went rigid, even if only for a second, and he knew he had struck a nerve. Kagome sat up, her large brown eyes staring at him as if looking for something only she could see. Closing her eyes, she sighed, muttering something under her breath that he couldn't hear.
"So," she spoke up, "I guess we'll have to walk. We better hurry, the hospital's twenty blocks away from the school."
He grabbed her arm. "You didn't answer my question."
She frowned. "Do you really want to know? Fine," she said, "in the third floor of the hospital there is a hallway for the mentally disabled. In the second room of that hallway, I visit a patient there every day."
He blinked. "So you visit some retard at the hospital, what the fuck does that have to do with anything?"
Kagome glared at him, shaking out of his grasp. Brown eyes narrowed, and he was sure if she was any less who she was, she would've smacked him.
"He's my father."
He blinked again and suddenly the whole world seemed to be turned inside out. "… Kagome, I-"
"It's alright," she interrupted, "…you didn't know."
Inuyasha could feel the silent rift between them. Looking down at his feet, he silently urged them to sink into the sidewalk. "What… happened to him?"
Brown eyes glazed over as she offered a sad smile. "Life."
Kagome seemed different somehow. Her bright demeanor had evaporated completely, despite her constant smile. The loud, perky, scrawny girl there was five minutes ago now seemed to age ten years.
"So," she said, "were planning to steal from that guy?"
"No!" he scoffed, "that what the twenty bucks was for!"
"Oh." She seemed to be in her own world for a moment. "You know, I stole a box of markers once. Mama made me return them, though."
Inuyasha rolled his eyes, the corners of his mouth tilting up. "Someone call the feds, girl stole some markers."
"They weren't just any markers," Kagome replied incisively, "they were the color changing ones, and they were scented." He laughed, quickening his pace as she strained to keep up with him.
"Hey, wait up!"
"Well hurry your fat butt and come on!"
"Fat!"
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Back from Disney. Mom didn't insult Minnie Mouse this time.
True story: the first time she went to Magic Kingdom, all she wanted was a picture with Mickey. She jumps out of Minnie's side, pushes over small children to jump in front of Mickey's line. Minnie also had a nice conversation with my stepfather:
Minnie: Your wife doesn't want to take a picture with me?
Stepfather: Sorry, she wanted the Mouse.
Minnie: Well, I'm a mouse!
Stepfather: Sorry honey, she wanted your husband.
One more chapter left! I'm going to miss this story. Started it when I was thirteen, finished it when I was fifteen. I probably won't be writing any fics longer than a one-shot any more, but who knows. When inspiration hits it hits hard (and hopefully, with longer chapters).
PS: For those ofyou who had me on theirC2 lists,if you still like my story, please put them back '
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Posted 8/20/05
By Lynette K.