Author: Porthos
Spoilers: pretty much up through Lost Boys
Summary: McKay ponders why Sheppard's behavior has been a bit…off…this season.
Author's notes: Inspired by spoilers that there will be an episode with a goa'uld spy. This is my take on who that spy could be. Totally unbeta'd, written in the span of roughly half an hour, and probably chock full of errors. I really just wanted to vent, so I'm not too concerned with it being correct. I make no apologies, but Lost Boys just really frustrated me.
oOo
"Elizabeth, I'm telling you, Sheppard is a goa'uld!" McKay nearly shouted at the top of his lungs, apparently thinking the added lungpower would lend credence to his insane babbling.
Elizabeth was losing her patience, and was about to call security. Rodney was obviously suffering from the ill effects of some alien technology or some chemical hallucinogen that inept excuse for a chemist, Kavanaugh, had released into the ventilation system. "Rodney," she began for what felt like the twentieth time, "I can assure you, John is not a goa'uld!"
"Well, why not?" McKay spat. "You said yourself that there's a goa'uld spy somewhere in Atlantis, and Sheppard has been acting a little…off…lately." Elizabeth simply rolled her eyes, having heard Rodney's argument several times already. Needlessly, he began again. "C'mon, Elizabeth, you said the goa'uld probably came to Atlantis on the Daedalus. Well, he was on the Daedalus when it first got here, and that's when he started acting weird."
"Rodney, I told you, the Daedalus has made countless trips between Earth and Atlantis. The goa'uld spy could have come on any one of those trips."
"But then how do you explain the odd behavior? First, he shoots down a wraith dart carrying me. Me! His best friend! He probably recognized my inherent brilliance and wanted his only real competition out of the way. Then he goes and gets himself wraithified, and walks around Atlantis knowing that he's got a virus in his system giving him superpowers, and he doesn't even report it!"
"Rodney, you know as well as I do, that there was no way Colonel Sheppard could have known—"
"Oh, don't give me that crap! He beat Ronan at running, and he beat Teyla at stick fighting, then kissed her! Not that I blame him, of course, but the man had to know something was up! But since he's a goa'uld, he just thought the extra superpowers would be good to hold onto, and help him defeat all the rest of us and take over Atlantis. It wasn't until he realized it was harming him that he sought out Beckett!" Elizabeth looked unconvinced, but Rodney continued. "Plus, he tried to kill his entire team! He got us all addicted to the wraith enzyme, Elizabeth! The Sheppard I know would never have done that. He would have fought to get us out of there with everything he had, instead he watched us become more addicted every day. He was probably thinking injecting a bunch of humans with wraith enzyme would help him make a nice, strong army to command, and wanted us to be the guinea pigs to see if it worked."
Elizabeth stopped him there. "Rodney, there was no way out of that, you said so yourself. You were taken as hostages!"
"Not him! You should have seen how he changed after he found out he wasn't drugged like the rest of us. He went from being pissed at Ford to completely agreeing with him, and going along with his insane plan! He was free to roam about at his leisure, he could have figured out a way to get a message out, at least." Rodney continued pacing, and was becoming frustrated that Elizabeth still didn't see what was right in front of her face. "Okay, well, how about how he keeps coming up with all the answers before I do? He's smart, but he's not that smart. I bet he hacked into the Atlantis database, or he's got some piece of Ancient technology in his head feeding him all the answers. A goa'uld would love to have that kind of knowledge at his fingertips, and wouldn't hesitate to flaunt that he knew all the answers!"
Elizabeth still looked doubtful, but she seemed to be softening. Rodney decided to hit her with what he considered to be the most convincing, but also most personal bit of evidence. "And," he continued, "he doesn't banter with me anymore."
Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. "Banter?"
"Yes, banter!" McKay answered furiously. "When I say something funny, he says something juvenile, and I reply with some exceedingly witty comeback. Banter!" With a frustrated sigh, he persisted. "He doesn't do it anymore, at least not like he used to. I have more banter with Teyla now than I do with him!"
Elizabeth's face relaxed, and she lost the irritated edge about her. "Rodney, I sympathize with you, I really do. But there's something you haven't considered."
"Really?" Rodney asked, interested by her change of tact. "What?"
Elizabeth stood, and suddenly, her eyes glowed. "Maybe it's better this way," she answered in a low, rumbling voice. The voice of a goa'uld.
"You!" McKay squeaked. "You're the spy!" He backed out of the room, only to find it blocked by Colonel Sheppard. "Oh, thank god!" He shouted. "Colonel, Elizabeth is a goa'uld spy!"
"I know." Sheppard put a hand on Rodney's shoulder as if to protect him, or comfort him, Rodney couldn't tell.
"You do? How can you know that?" Rodney searched his face for the answer, but not finding one, he decided to jump directly into the plan of attack. "Quick, Sheppard, you have to do something! We can't just leave her like this."
"It's okay, Rodney." He felt Sheppard's grip on his shoulder tighten like a vise, until he couldn't get away. His eyes widened in realization, and he saw Sheppard's eyes glow, just like Elizabeth's. "Everything's going to be just fine." As he spoke his voice changed, and Teyla came out from behind him, carrying a goa'uld symbiote. "I promise, you won't feel a thing."
Elizabeth was suddenly at his side. "It'll be better this way, you'll see," she said.
Rodney felt paralyzed by fear, but he could have sworn he heard himself scream as Teyla held out the symbiote towards his exposed neck. Suddenly, McKay felt himself shaking, probably in terror, but he could hear a voice calling his name from a distance. Was someone coming to rescue him? The voice sounded so far off, but he was sure he recognized it…
"McKay! Wake up! Seriously, McKay, if you don't wake up this instant, I'll—"
"Sheppard!" McKay sat bolt upright in his sleeping bag, ignoring his protesting back.
"Damn, McKay, that must have been some nightmare," Sheppard commented sleepily.
McKay, however, didn't reply. He was staring intently at Sheppard, as if trying to figure him out. Without warning, McKay punched Sheppard in the arm, as hard as he could. "OW! Son of a—what the hell was that for?"
"Are you angry?" McKay asked.
"What? Hell yes, I'm angry, you little—"
"You're eyes didn't glow. They glow when a goa'uld gets angry, and yours didn't glow."
Sheppard looked at the man like he's slipped off the edge into insanity. "What the f—" That was when a gigantic boot that was obviously Ronan's came whizzing by Sheppard's head. It was obviously a warning shot, because Ronan never missed. Turning, Sheppard noticed that Dex looked as if he was fast asleep, but he knew better. He was about to make a comment to the large, greasy haired monstrosity when he heard Teyla's sleepy voice carry from where she was buried under her covers.
"Gentlemen, if it's at all possible, could the argument wait until morning. Some of us are trying to get their beauty rest. And in Ronan's case, some of us could use it more than others."
"Hey!" Dex dropped any semblance of sleep at the retort, and McKay couldn't help but snicker. He looked at Sheppard, and the two men shrugged, laid back down in their sleeping bags, and went to sleep. Soon, McKay's soft snores were filling the campsite.
In the dying firelight, there was a flash that to the untrained eye, could have looked like the embers reflecting in Sheppard's dark eyes. But there would be no mistaking that voice when he spoke, low and to himself. "Impudent humans. Soon, very soon, I shall have my vengeance…"
oOo
Author's notes: Bwahahaha! Okay, I know, kinda dumb and silly, but I'm so frustrated with John right now I can't see straight, so I'd like to think there's some reason he's acting like an idiot. Hence, I invented one! ;)