I know I updated sooner than I said I would, but for some reason this story keeps coming up when I sit down to write. The next chapter should be out soon. Oh, and if you see a story called "Your All I Have" by Angel-182, then left me know, because she ripped of this story on a different site. Thanks for all of the reviews...I answered them this time!
WARNING: Lime content and cussing, good thing Roadkill2580 corrected my spelling/grammar mistakes -
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha, "The Summer Of My German Soldier", or the song "Nobody's Home" by Avril Lavigne.
When I got home no one was there. Kaede had probably taken Souta to a friends house while she went out shopping. I looked around the house, the one my mother loved more than any other. It did not look the same as it use to, all of her things had been sold and replaced.
"I hate this ugly thing." I said as I looked down at the couch my step-mother never let me sit on when I was a child.
Hell, she barely let me sit on it now. Not that I ever wanted to, it was the ugliest, most uncomfortable piece of crap I had ever had the displeasure of seeing. She loved it, and the rest of us hated it, but we would never say anything. My father never liked it when I talked ill of his wife, he always said that it was my fault that she was my new mother.
I sighed as I walked in to the kitchen, I stopped and grabbed a cookie from the table before I made my way to my room. It was the smallest room in the house, and was not originally mine. It was Souta's room, but my father thought that he needed the bigger one to fit all of his toys into. My room didn't have much in it, just a bed, a dresser, and a bookshelf. My father wasn't too big on buying me anything unless he really had too.
"Bed," I muttered to myself as I threw myself on it.
I laid there for a few minutes, not sure how many, I just felt so tired. Lately I haven't had much strength, not like I use too.
"Mama...what I wouldn't give for some soup and a story right now," I murmured.
And to see your face, smell your hair, feel your arms around me.
"Mama...do you blame me too?"
Do you blame me for being a spoiled brat, for having to have my way? For being me?
"I blame me," I said finally.
And I blame you.
"I blame the world for taking you, and for letting me come into it,"
I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.
I thought about my mother everyday, I couldn't help it. Everything I did or said turned into her dying and leaving me alone with my father. Deep down inside I know that it wasn't really my fault, but that part had long ago been covered up by all of my scars and bruises, and not to mention my fathers words.
I always wondered why I ever listened to them, took them seriously and let them hurt me so badly. I realized the answer years ago though, it is because he is my father. He is my father and no matter what he does, his opinion will always matter to me. Even if I don't want it too, it will simply for the fact that it had for so many years before he stopped loving me.
"I'm pathetic," I spat.
What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
"To think is to feel, to feel is to cry, to cry is to stop living my lie," I said.
I lied to myself, everyday I would tell myself that this was a dream. A bad dream, but a dream no less. But once I started crying, the dream became real, my life became the horrible dream I tried to hide from for so long. I miss how life use to be, my mom baking in the kitchen while my little brother 'helped', and my dad reading me stories while we sat in our favorite chair.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
Flashback
"Daddy, will you read me a story?" a little girl with long black hair asked as she held a small book out to a man sitting in a big green chair.
The man smiled down at the little girl and then gave her a nod. She squealed in delight and hugged her fathers leg.
"Of course. Anything for my little princess," he said as he lifted her into his lap and opened the book she had.
He read to her for over an hour, the girl smiling up at her father with a look of pure bliss shining in her eyes. He looked back down at her with the same look as he kissed the tip of her nose. She fell asleep like that, cuddled in her fathers warm arms like nothing in the world could ever hard her.
End Flashback
Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Before I knew what was going on, a tear rolled down my cheek, followed by another. I tried to hold them back, but it was no use. My lie was lost another day.
"I miss you daddy, please come back soon," I whispered to my empty room as more tears fell from my eyes
At one point in my life, my father was the one I told everything to, as well as my mother. We were so close, and he loved me with every fiber of his being, you could just tell by the way he looked at me. At one point in time my father was proud to have me as his daughter.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
I cried even more, though I wanted desperately to stop. These memories were like a wave of pain, just waiting to drown me in even more sorrow. I laid still for a while, my face now buried in my pillow, but then I heard something. I lifted my head from it's hiding place and looked towards my wondow.
"What are you doing here?" I asked the figured that stood by my window, eating my cookie that I didn't realize wasn't in my hand anymore.
"You didn't come to play, so I came to see you!" the little ball of fluff know as Shippou squealed as he launched himself at me, my cookie still in his mouth.
"Shippou-chan, you know that you shouldn't be here." I scolded him, but I wasn't really mad, just worried.
"But I made a real good disguise, and I was really careful." he said, giving me his puppy eyes. I could never resist them...never.
"Okay, but next time just wait for me. We might as well get you some food, I'm sure you ate all that I left you the other day," I said as I got out of bed, wiping my eyes on my sleeve when Shippou wasn't looking.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
"Hai! It was all really goodm" he said with the cutest smile on his face as he rubbed his stomach through his shirt.
"I'm glad you liked it Shippou-chan." I couldn't help the giggle that escaped from throat as I walked back into the kitchen with the tiny youkai.
"Kagome-chan, do you think my papa will be back soon?" he asked after a minute, and I didn't know how to answer.
"I hope so Shippou-chan, I know how much you miss him," that was all I could say to even try and comfort him. He gave a sad nod, he had been left alone since his father was taken into the camps. His mother died giving birth to him, so now all he had was me. I felt a kinship to him, since we both lost our parents, to death and other tragic situations.
"How about another cookie?"
"Hai!" he squealed again as he ran for the plate. He grabbed his cookie and took a big bite out of it, but before he could finish it someone opened the front door.
"Kagome, you better be here," the voice of my father came from the living room. Shippou panicked, and did the only thing he could. He turned into duster and jumped into my hands, as did his cookie. My father came in a minute later, glaring at me.
"Good, you're here," he spat out at me. How one could hold that much hate for another was something I would never begin to realize, and I didn't want to even try.
"What's in your hand?" he asked, glaring down at my palms
I looked down and saw the cookie, and knew what was about to come.
Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
"I-I got hungry, I was only going to eat half," I tried to reason with him, but I knew it wouldn't work.
"Stealing food now. How selfish can you be, I feed you three god damn times a day, and now you're sitting down here scarfing down cookies and who knows what else!" he screamed in my face. I closed my eyes, trying to not cry.
"Look at me you little bitch!" he screamed even louder, but this time a slapped came with it.
I fell to the floor, Shippou was knocked out of my hands, and I could see him shaking under the table.
"I'm sorry!" I cried, but all I got in response was a kick in my back
I stayed on the floor, hoping that he was done with his assault, but I found that he wasn't when something shattered and blood spilled from my face. He broke a plate over my head, he hadn't done that in a long time, I almost for got how much it hurt.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah, oh
I sniffed back the tears as he kicked me one last time.
"Clean this place up. I want it done before I get home." and with that said, I was left on the floor, bleeding, and wanting to die.
"Kagome-chan?" Shippou's voice broke me out of my thoughts of death. He stood infront of me, shaking he would never be able to stop. He looked at me with his sad eyes, and I couldn't help the smile that came to my face.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
I didn't need death, all I needed were the few people that loved me.
"It's okay Shippou-chan. Everything will be fine," I said as I hugged him close to me.
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
kage: Though not really the kind of review that I like, I will write more and say thank you.
migele: That they do, I agree. As for the killing, you shall see soon as to what he does.
Duo no Tsuin: Do you know that you are one of my favorite reviewers of all time? I mean it, you always seem to make me feel better, and I love your long reviews. I'm sorry I'm unhappy too, but they just don't seem to get that threats get annoying as does them shouting at me to update. I don't think anyone reads profiles, I do, but I doubt many more do. They should read mine because I post my chapter progress in there, so they can get an idea about how long it will take me to update. I know they did, and I appreciate that, but it still ticks me off. You know, I think you're right. I can't help it, but I also think it makes for good reading, lol.
You really should get more, I read your Inuyasha fic (and reviewed, I rarely do that o.O). I laugh at them too, but when you get 5 in one day, you just feel like banging your head against a wall.
Sesshoumaru is a wise one.
I don't know what came ov er me when I wrote that, I think it's just years of being treated like the black sheep of the family (by my father no less). My siblings have always ment more to him then I did, I suppose that is another reason why I wrote this story. It's a way to let all of these emotions out that don't case me to hurt anyone (namely my dad). Simple it sounds, hard it tis. That we do, and I will try, and you do the same.
Thanks a lot, and if you have any messenger service, let me know and I will add you so we can talk sometime, if you want to of course.
I wish Kagome, Sesshoumaru, AND you the best.
Flame Dancer077: Thanks, I love when people like my writing, it makes me all happy.
silverstargazing: I am glad that you like it.
silverkitsunekagome: Though this is one of those reviews that I loathe, I will of course continue.
Trapped in Icy Flame: It would have been, but I didn't wait that long. I'm glad you like it, and I am also glad you can wait for updates. Thanks for reviewing.
Golden-Eyed-Girl: I suppose you didn't read my note in my profile, but I also suppose that it okay. I mean as long as you like it and didn't exactly demand for me to update. Well, I'm glad you like it and I hope you like this chapter.
DemonWicca: Thankies - Oh, it's okay if you didn't, I know people have better things to do than review my stories. You are very welcome, I know they do, but it would be nice if they could show a little more respect when it comes to "asking" me to update. Here's the next chapter, and the 6th should be done soon. Thanks for the review .
Black-Fire Eclipse: I hope she can too, maybe she will as time goes on, but who knows shrugs Here's that update you wanted.
bad-girl4: Yeah it was, but I'm glad you liked it. I'll update as fast as I can, but sometimes I might not be able to update for a few weeks.
animedemon21: Was that soon enough? lol. I've been updating pretty fast for this one, but that should stop soon. Thanks for reviewing!