A/N: I hope this chapter lives up to the wonderful reviews I received on the last one - they are very much appreciated. I think the story is going to wind up in a few more chapters, but don't worry, Kurama and Hiei finally appear in the same chapter soon. :)

Chapter 9

That night was the longest Hiei ever lived through. He never knew afterward, and Yukina could never tell him, how long it was that they lay there on the cold ground. It was some time before he could even speak coherently. He would try so say something through the tears only to have disjointed, incomprehensible words come out; and Yukina would shush him and stroke his hair back, telling him that there was no rush, that they had forever.

After a long while Hiei calmed somewhat and stopped crying or trying to speak. He lay with his head in his sister's lap, breathing quietly, looking at the stars that had come out while he cried and knowing that he had changed.

Finally, when the only hint of tears was the scattering of black and red gems through the grass, Hiei spoke. "I never meant to cause you pain," he said quietly.

"I never meant to cause you pain either," she replied just as quietly.

Hiei slowly moved into a sitting position. His eyes felt different after having released so many tears, like anyone who looked into them would now be able to tell what he was feeling. He looked at Yukina anyway. "You don't know all the things I've done."

Yukina shrugged. "Does it matter?" She smiled slightly at Hiei's bewildered expression. "I know you, Hiei. Even though you try to hide, I know you. And I love you."

"I..."

The words stuck in his throat. Yukina smiled in understanding. "Love me too," she finished for him.

Hiei surprised himself by holding out his arms for her. Hugging had never been a natural reaction for him, but he had changed. Yukina's forgiveness had changed him.

He could tell she was happy when he hugged her, when he leaned back against a tree and let her lean against him. It occurred to him that this was probably the first time he could claim he'd done something that had directly brought her happiness. Maybe her knowing wouldn't be so terrible?

Of course it wouldn't be terrible - because she'd forgiven him. If she had not, it would have been everything Hiei had feared. But he had underestimated her kindness. She would forgive him because she would forgive anyone. She would love him because she was loving.

And yet, he had done everything she'd said. He had hunted for her, had let Tarukane live for her sake, and was working however reluctantly to protect the stupid ningen world. None of it meant that he deserved her, as she seemed to think. But he didn't seem to completely hopeless.

"Hiei?"

"Hm?" Hiei was startled out of his tumbling thoughts by Yukina's quiet voice.

"What are you going to do about Kurama?"

Damn. Just as he'd been starting to adjust, the panic and fear clamped down on his chest again. "I have to do something?"

"Well, now that you know he loves you, don't you think it will affect you?"

"Kurama doesn't love me," Hiei said stubbornly. "It's ridiculous."

Yukina's face fell. "Why? Do you mean that you couldn't love him?"

"No, I..." How did he feel about that damn fox? Hiei wasn't used to asking himself such questions. "I don't know, I never thought about it. But it's not important, because...you know."

"I thought we already went through this," Yukina said with a small smile. "If I can forgive you, and love you, then surely Kurama can."

Yes, Kurama was very nearly as forgiving as his sister. How do I wind up with these people? He was everything Hiei wasn't, and yet, also everything he was - a criminal, a killer. Only Kurama was a better person. "Kurama can have anybody he wants."

"That's not true, Hiei. He wants you, and he doesn't think he can have you."

Why couldn't she understand? "You can't choose that I'm your brother," he said heavily. "But Kurama can choose who he wants to be with."

"And he does choose to be with you. He's with you all the time."

"That's different!"

Yukina's eyes filled with tears. "Why are you fighting this so hard? Is it because you can't love him? You have to let him know if that's true, Hiei."

"It's not that," Hiei replied, aggravated. "If - if I could choose to be with anyone, that way, I would chose Kurama." Hiei instantly swore inside his head. He hadn't meant to say that - he hadn't even known it - but he had to continue as though it wasn't news to him. "But I can't. So I should let it be."

Yukina bit her lip. "But why do you say you can't choose him, when he's already chosen you?"

"Yukina, he - "

"I didn't mishear him," Yukina said, in a much firmer tone than she usually took with people - so firm, in fact, that Hiei was momentarily struck dumb. "There was no way to mishear what he said. I don't understand you. If you can love him the way he wants to be loved, then you should let him know." After a moment, she added more quietly, "And you should give him the chance to love you the way you want to be loved."

I don't want to be loved. Hiei tried to say his stock answer, but it wouldn't come through his lips. He had to admit that it wasn't true; it was just convenient for him, because... "I've never been loved."

Yukina laughed; Hiei stared at her, nonplussed. "Oh, Hiei. You really don't know how many people love you, do you. Or how much."

"Why would he choose me?" Hiei asked desperately.

Yukina brushed a lock of hair back from his forehead, making him tremble at the unaccustomed touch. "Well, why don't you ask him?"