Like hi fellow readers! Just to let you know, I don't own Shaman King. The only thing I own here is in fact, the reason I started this one-shot. Warning for ooc-ness and mentioning of swear words and everything about one thing: something big. That's all I'm revealing now!
Something that anyone in SK would never ever do
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In Patch Village it was an ordinary day for our shaman gang. Shaman fights going here and there, fire going around the place…yup, it was definitely an ordinary day. EXCEPT for one thing, though…
For the past few days, Yoh had been acting strangely different. He disappeared from time to time and when the others had found him he would be either laughing or bobbing his head to some fast beat. When somebody asked the lazy shaman where he went he would always say, "Just walking, that's all." This was, indeed, very strange for Yoh. Now, let's go to the present…
Yoh and his friends had just been captured by the X-Laws. Hao comes into the scene when……………………He got captured by the X-Laws, too.
"Hello, Hao, fancy meeting you here. I do believe you are in the I-am-an-all-powerful-shaman-and-I-want-to-get-rid-of-the-putrid-humans-that-pollute-the-land class, not the I-am-the-one-who-should-save-everybody-from-danger-no-matter-who-or-what-they-are class," Ren said mockingly. Hao took this situation seriously and, since this was the first time he got captured, was in a very bad mood.
"Shut the fuckin' hell up, you Jew hippie," Hao hissed.
"Well look who's talking, a big fat ass shaman with his mother as his father," Ren said standing up.
"Hey! Don't talk about my family like that!" Yoh said standing up.
"YOU STAY OUTTA THIS!" Hao and Ren yelled, Yoh slowly slumping down to the gold cage.
"Screw you, Jew hippie!" Hao said, standing up as well.
"I am not Jew, nor am I a hippie, you fat ass shaman!" Ren said pulling out his kwandao. Yoh and Horo separated Hao and Ren before they tore each other apart.
"Release me now, you baka Ainu!" Ren yelled.
"Let me go now, brother, before I decide to burn you to a crisp," Hao said venomously, trying to struggle out of his brother's grip.
"Remember now, Hao…when in doubt, there is only one thing to do…" Yoh reminded his brother. He stopped struggling and now everybody laid their eyes on the two Asakuras.
"You think it will work?" Hao asked.
"100 sure it will work. I mean, it really scared the shit out of Silva when we first did it, remember?" Yoh reminded him and then looked at his friends.
"We know how to get out of this golden situation. All you guys have to do is do the same actions we do and we'll be juuuuust fine…" Yoh said. They looked at Yoh, then Hao and then back again to Yoh. They then huddled together for suggestions then looked at the Asakura twins again. They nodded their heads in agreement.
"Sugoi, that's great! Okay, you guys, just line up here." Yoh said. They lined up in a straight horizontal line. Then Yoh and Hao lined up as well. This action caught the X-Laws' attention, all of them moving to the small gold cage. Hao then looked at Opacho, who was sitting on a big boombox. How that got there, nobody knows.
"Hit it, Opacho!" Hao said on the microphone (Same thing with the boombox) as Opacho hit one of the buttons on the boombox. Then funky music started to play, leaving Yoh's friends clueless. Then they soon realized what they were about to do and quickly stepped aside, leaving Yoh and Hao in a straight line.
"I like big butts and I cannot lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up the tough
'Cause you noticed that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, Baby I wanna get with ya
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that butt you got
Make me so horny
Ooh, rump of smooth skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz
Well use me use me 'cause I ain't your average groupy
So your girlfriend throws a Honda
Playing workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, Hun—"
Right at that moment, Marco and the other X-Laws screamed like little girls and ran away on their archangels. That and the golden cage disappeared. THAT, and Yoh's friends and Opacho were now looking at Yoh and Hao with their eyes big to the max.
"What? It was the only way to get rid of them!" Yoh and Hao said at the same time.
"WE know that, it was just that…" Yoh's friends trailed off.
"Was that why you were going somewhere from time to time?" Horo asked.
"Uhh…yeah…PLEASE DON'T TELL ANNA I WAS RAPPING AND DANCING WITH HAO! I HAD NOTHING ELSE TO DO AFTER HER TRAINING AND I DESPERATELY DIDN'T WANT TO ENDURE MORE TRAINING AFTER THAT!" Yoh begged.
"Oh, don't worry…I won't be telling Anna…'cause I wanna learn the moves!" Horo yelled.
"Learn the moves? Yeah…sure…" Yoh said moving aside and gesturing to Hao.
"I learned it from him. You can learn the moves from him; I'm not really much of a teacher," Yoh said rubbing the back of head and laughing. He then received a punch on the head from Hao.
"Sorry, I don't have the time. Now if you excuse me, Opacho and I will be going now…" Hao said turning his back on them and jumping on the Spirit of Fire, disappearing with a trace of fire (Of course, Opacho followed him).
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Author's notes: I know what you guys are thinking; I'm a maniacal authoress, doing maniacal fictions on Shaman King and Saiyuki (don't worry I'll be posting some of that soon) and making the characters do maniacal things. I had no choice; the idea kept on bugging me and believe it or not, there are moves for this song. REALLY annoying and disgusting moves…I wish I could describe it here, but I easily forget so…yeah, I forgot them moves. Whoever reviews this I thank you for making it this far. Yeah, that and I don't own 'Baby Got Back' by Sir-Mix-A-Lot. See ya!