May 27th, 2004

Guilt was eating at Alex. She had cheated on her fiance with the worse man possible. Derek could tell somethign was up. She was so distant from him. Even more distant than when she had the miscarriage. Derek stared at her as they rode to a MVA accident.

"We should take Lilah to the beach this weekend. She'll like it." Derek said. Alex nodded.

"Maybe." She said. Jimmy looked at Alex.

"The beach sounds fun." He said. She narrowed her eyes.

"Mind your own business, Doherty." She snapped. Walsh chuckled.

"There's the Taylor we all know and love." He said.

"Lay off her." Derek and Jimmy said at the same time. Derek looked at Jimmy with concern. Alex shifted uncomfortably in her seat as the engine stopped.

"Let's focus on the job at hand people." Jimmy said getting out of the engine. Alex glanced at Derek as she got out. The MVA was more than an MVA. The radio could have said four cars were plowed into each other.

"Hey, we need to get this woman out of here." Carlos waved the firefighters over to them. Alex assessed the situation.

"All right, I'll get the saw." She said. Jimmy shook his head.

"I'll do it." He said going back to the engine. Alex growled.

"Are you kidding me? I am able and capable of handling the saw." Alex frowned.

"I don't want you to. I want you to see if Levine needs any more assistance with us." Jimmy said. "Don't think because I slept with you that yore going to get special treatment with me." Alex's eyes widened as she saw Walsh and Derek both turn around.

"Jimmy! You asshole!" She cried. Derek stood there staring at Alex.

"What...What did he say?" Derek asked. Alex started to panic.

"Nothing. he...he was joking." She said. "Right Jimmy?"

"Alex, I wasn't joking." Jimmy said. Derek looked like he had been punched in the stomach.

"Alex, don't lie to me." He croaked out. Alex bit her lip.

"It was the day I named Mason. You pissed me off. I was hysterical and Jimmy was there." Alex said. Derek turned and glared at him.

"You took advantage of her when she was hurting!" He snapped.

"Whoa. I did no such thing." Jimmy said, "She wanted to have sex so we did."

"You son of a bitch!" Derek snapped. He lunged at Jimmy and threw him to the ground, "You fucking asshole! I thought you were my friend!!" Derek punched Jimmy. It stunned him for a moment but Jimmy kicked Derek off of him and jumped up.

"It's not my fault you're marrying someone who-" Derek didn't give Jimmy a chance to finish his sentence. He pushed him into the engine and hit him again feeling bones breaking beneath his punch. Blood started to pour from Jimmy's nose.

"Stop it!!" Alex cried, "Stop it!"

"Get the fuck off of me!" Jimmy snapped. He punched Derek back. Walsh ran over and grabbed Derek before he could do more damage.

"I'm going to kill you!" Derek yelled.

"Please stop it." Alex cried.

"Guys, Calm down." Walsh said as Kim rushed over to Look at Jimmy's nose. He let go of Derek who was drawing in deep breaths. Alex walked up to him.

"Derek, I'm so sorry." She whispered.

"Don't, Alex." He said touching his jaw. "I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to even look at you." With that, Derek walked away. Alex stood there staring at him. Walsh gave Alex a look.

"Don't start with me too, Walsh." She said.

"I would expect something like this from Doherty, but not you." Walsh said walking away. Alex's lips quivered. God, she fucked up royally.

May 28th, 2004

Alex had slept on her brother's couch. Derek wouldn't let her in. he wouldn't let her see Lilah. She didn't blame him. Alex was a horrible person. She shouldn't have done what she had but she had to talk to him. Alex walked up the steps to their home and knocked on the door.

"Derek, please we need to talk." Alex called out. There was no response. She knew Derek was here. His car was in the garage. "Derek, please. I want to see Lilah." The front door opened up and Derek stood there.
"She is taking a nap. Go away." He said.

"Please, Derek. We need to talk." She said. Derek shook his head.

"No we don't. Lilah and I are just fine alone." Derek said.

"But I'm not." She whispered. He looked at her, "Please can I come in so we can talk? I'll leave afterwards." Derek sighed softly but nodded.

"Be quiet." He said. Alex nodded as she walked into the house. The air in the house seemed different. She sighed.

"How is Lilah?" She asked.

"Pretty cranky. She misses you." Derek said sitting on the couch. Alex sat next to him, but not too close.

"I miss her too." Alex said, "Look, Derek, I'm sorry."

"So you've said that." He said.

"I don't know what I can do to make you see that though." Alex said, "That day, I was in pain. I was pissed. I know that's no excuse, but Jimmy was there. He was comforting me and one thing led to another."

"I'm more pissed off at him than I am at you." Derek said.

"Really?" Alex asked. Derek nodded and finally looked at her.

"Yeah. You were in pain. Jimmy too advantage of that. That's why I broke his nose." He said.

"And did that make you feel better?" Alex asked. Derek shook his head.

"No." he said, "The thought of another man's hands on you makes me sick. Maybe it's selfish, but It should just be me touching you."

"It's not selfish." She said. Alex swore she saw his lip quiver slightly.

"I love you, Alex, and I don't want to loose you." Derek said.

"Then please let me back in." She said.

"I don't want to marry you if you have affairs on me all the time." Derek said. Alex shook her head.

"Never again, Derek. I promise." She whispered, "I swear to god. Please believe me." Derek sighed.

"I believe you." He said.

"Really?" She asked. Derek nodded.

"I just...It's going to take awhile for me to trust you again I hope you understand." He told her.

"I do." Alex whispered. Derek looked at her. He looked deep into her eyes. He saw that she was telling the truth. He pulled her into a hug. God, he hoped she was telling the truth.

* * *

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