Chapter 7: Will things get better?

Lorelai didn't slept well that night. She kept thinking about the events of the day before. After she went out of bed for the fourth time, she decided to stay out. She was afraid to wake up Luke if she kept turning around in bed, not being able to fall asleep. She stepped out of bed, carefully not to wake Luke. She took a blanket with her and sat down in the chair in her bedroom. She sat there and watched Luke sleep. She knew he needed his sleep. He was up early all the time but he compensated that by going to bed early at least a couple of days a week, because otherwise he would be grumpy all the time. People knew him like that but they didn't knew him the way she did. If you really got to know Luke you would know that he was the most caring man there was on earth. She didn't knew anybody who could be more worried than he was. The grumpy part was just the outside, not the inside. He had trouble letting people in, but if you are in he would never let you out again.

When they first started dating it had taking her a while to learn to know him. The real him. She knew him, but there where a lot of things she didn't knew about him. And there still are parts about him she doesn't know yet, but that's keeping things interesting. He is also one of the few people that really knew her. Besides Rory she isn't even sure if there is anyone that really know her. Maybe Sookie. Yes, probably Sookie. But nobody else. Not even her mother. She placed her hand on her abdomen. She was wondering what the baby would be like. What parts of her would she be able to see back in this child and what parts of Luke. She thought this was very interesting. This wasn't a thing she thought about when she got Rory even though Rory turned out to be a lot like her. Of course that was partially because she raised her by herself so she was the only example set for Rory. But many things in her character where the same as hears to. She was independent, she would do anything to reach her goals in live and there where many other things. She wondered what Luke was like as a kid. What would he have looked like? She decided to ask him for baby pictures when he was awake. She really wanted to see them. He had told her things about his youth but he never showed her pictures. She wondered if it was to hard for him.

She looked at him, he looked so pretty when he was asleep. She noticed the smile on his face and wondered where he was dreaming about. Maybe about her, maybe about the baby. She smiled and remained watching Luke and kept thinking about there child. It helped her from keeping her mind of the things that happened with her mother.

Luke woke up at 4.45 a.m. He turned on his side and placed his arm on the spot next to him only to find a cold sheet. He opened his eyes in confusion and sat up. He turned around to search the place and smiled when he saw her, sleeping in the chair with a smile on her face. His smile faded when he started wondering why she was in the chair in stead of in bed next to him. He doubted what to do next. He could wake her up because the chair probably wasn't comfortable at all but he wasn't sure to wake her. He knew she didn't slept well at all. She had fallen asleep in his arms early but she was turning around in bed most of the night. She had been very restless. Besides it was still very early at Saturday morning. Maybe he could lift her over to the bed. But what if she woke up? Still, she didn't looked to comfortable, even with the smile on her face. He walked to her and picked her up and lifted her over to the bed. She didn't even respond. He watched her sleep for a while before he walked out of the room to take a shower. He has to open the diner soon.

It was 7.30 when Lorelai arrived at the diner. Luke smiled when he saw her walking in. While she walked over to the counter he turned around to get her some coffee, knowing she would ask for it anyway. (de-café of course) She sat down at the counter. He handed her the coffee and leaned in to kiss her.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"You're awake early on a Saturday."

"Yeah, well, you know," she whispered, making sure nobody heard her, "our baby doesn't like the sleeping in part so much, I guess."

"Morning sickness still bad huh?"

"Yeah, well, I woke up about an hour ago so actually it's improving."

He took her hand in his and squeezed it just to let her know he was there for her. She smiled slightly when he did this.

"Hey Luke, do you know how I ended up back in bed?"

"I think I do." He smiled as he continued, "I caught you sleeping in the chair and you didn't looked to comfortable so I picked you up and carried you to the bed."

"You did huh."

"Yeah. You didn't slept well did you?"

"Not really. I was awake most of the night and I got out so I wouldn't wake you up. I didn't felt like going downstairs so I spend half the night sitting in that chair, looking at you, thinking about all sort of things."

"You could have woken me up you know."

"You need your sleep."

"Yeah well, so do you. Just promise me you wake me up the next time okay?"

"I'll see."

"Lorelai."

"Okay, I promise."

"Good."

He leaned over to kiss her again. After that he asked: "What are you doing today?"

"I was actually thinking about going to Hartford, to talk to my mother."

"You want me to come with you?"

"No that's not necessary. I have to do this by myself. I think we need to have this conversation in private, just the two of us."

"I can come with you, and just let you talk in a different room, just so you know I'm there."

"That's very sweet of you, but I have to do this myself. What happened is not your fault so you don't have to fix this. I promise that I'll come back here afterwards just to talk. And if there is anything I need from you before I'll call you."

"You promise?"

"Yes I promise."

"Good. So, do you want to try and have something for breakfast today?"

"I'm not sure, doctor Elder told me to try and have breakfast but I don't know."

"I'd be more comfortable if you tried, you can blame me if it goes wrong."

"I would do that anyway."

"I'm sure you will."

She smiled and considered. "Well, you can bring me some pancakes than, but remember, your responsibility."

He responded by kissing her again. Than he turned around to make her the breakfast she asked for.

Lorelai arrived at her mothers place at 9.45 a.m. She had been able to keep the breakfast in that morning so she thought that maybe doctor Elder was right. Luke hadn't told her I told you so, which was very sweet of him. She staid in the diner for a while, to watch Luke while he was working and to talk when he had the time till she finally found enough courage to go. Luke had asked her once more if he had to come, but again she refused. This was something she had to do by herself..

Emily was surprised to see Lorelai when she opened the front door. Not even after last night, but at this hour on a Saturday morning.

"Lorelai?"

"Hi mom"

"What are you doing here?"

"I was hoping we could talk."

Emily nodded. "I'd like that. I wanted to call you yesterday but Rory told me it was better to leave you alone for a while and gave me the advise to write you a letter so I was doing that."

"That's sweet mom. So, I can come in?"

That's when Emily noticed that Lorelai was still standing outside. "Of course, please come in." Lorelai followed her mother into the living room. "Do you want something to drink?

"Well, some coffee would be nice."

"You can't have any coffee when your pregnant."

"Oh come on, now you sound just like Luke."

"Well, he's right. Anything else you want?"

"Don't you have de-café?"

"Well, that might do it. I think we have it. I just have to ask Claudia."

"Who's Claudia?"

"The maid."

"Oh, of course."

"What Lorelai?"

"Nothing mom, really."

Emily looked at her daughter. She decided to let it go because starting another fight wouldn't do any good. She wanted to fix the relationship with her daughter so she walked into the kitchen to get the coffee.

She came back with two cups of coffee 8 minutes after. Lorelai was sitting on the couch, playing with her cell phone. Emily placed the coffee cups on the table and sat down next to Lorelai. They looked at each other for a while. Both not knowing where to start. After a while, Lorelai started.

"Mom, I'm so sorry."

"Me too, Lorelai."

"I, I overreacted. I've thought about this all night and discussed it with Luke and I think I was wrong. You..."

"I think we where both wrong. I have a feeling this wasn't just about what happened last night. This goes back way longer."

"I know. It's just... I know you disapprove many things in my life. But yesterday, all I wanted you was to tell me I did something right. I know Luke and I haven't planned to have this baby but we both love each other a lot, and even though we don't live together officially, we spend most of nights in my place and some of the nights at his place, but always together. I can't remember the last time I spend a night all by myself."

"I don't disapprove your life Lorelai. I'm very proud at you. You raised Rory all by yourself since you where 16. She turned out to be this amazing young woman. You've been independent since you where a very little girl. I know that's partially my fault but it's also part of your character. I've cried for days when you left with Rory. I thought that you having her would finally bring us together but it took us apart even more. I understand why you had to leave, I was just disappointed. You shut me out of your life back than and you still do that. When you married Max, when you dated Jason, I just assumed that..."

"I understand. I think I waited with telling you those things because I knew that they where not right. And I know this is. My relationship with Luke is different than the once I had before. With him I know it is right. I've been in love with Luke for a long time. It took me years to admit that. I was afraid. Afraid to screw up and loose him. He was and is the only man in my life who I can trust to always be there for me. When I realized that there was a change that I was pregnant I was afraid, but more afraid that I wasn't than that I was. I was afraid to tell Luke and Rory and you, but I was happy about this."

"I know that. And I'm happy too. I really mean that. I know that didn't came out right yesterday. I don't know what happened but I wanted to tell you how happy I am for you. I know how much you love Luke and how much he loves you. I know how happy you are. And the baby is a good thing, for the both of you."

"Thanks mom."

"Lorelai?"

"Yes.?"

"You know that you look like me right?"

"What?"

"You look a lot like me. I know we're both afraid to admit this but you do. Rory looks a lot like you too, but in a different way. Anyway, I made so many mistakes while I raised you. I never told you what you wanted to hear. But I want to tell you know. I love you Lorelai. I know that I should say that more often. I love you very much Lorelai."

"I love you to mom."

Emily smiled at her daughter. Than she moved towards her and took her daughter in an embrace. She whispered: "I'm very proud at you Lorelai. I know I said that you screwed up your life but you haven't. I never meant it. You made the right choices with the man in your life, even though I didn't realized that back than I do know. And the Dragonfly. I'm so proud at the way you run your own business."

"Thanks mom."

Emily just held Lorelai close for a while and finally let go. She looked at Lorelai when she continued. "Promise me that you won't shut me out of your life again."

"I promise mom."

"We can make this work right?"

"I think so. If we both keep talking."

"So we just have to do that, right?"

"Yes I think so." Lorelai smiled.

When Lorelai drove home at the end of the day she was feeling very well. She was glad that she spend the day with her mother. A lot of their problems where solved. Of course, it would take time before all the pain from the past years would be gone, but this was a big step into the right direction. She could move on with her live now. Stop looking back to the past. Luke had helped her a lot the past year and this was the last thing she needed to look in the future further than only a few months. She was no longer afraid for getting hurt and knew that some day, probably sooner rather than later her life would be close to perfect.