Disclaimer: No, I don't own Naruto! If I did, it would entirely consist of boy smut and bad grammar...hehe, sorry 'bout the last part...

Summary: Definitely not boy smut...yet, that is, but that will soon change if I have my way...eh-heh...

Notes! Yay! I got reviews! SOOOOO HAPPY :does her dorky little happy dance: Well, I must sincerely apologize for my bad grammar, spelling, and use of the word truant! My bad. I hope everyone forgives me :chibi look:

Sara-chan::still doing her happy dance and chanting happyhappyhappy: Oh! Hello! I forgot you were here!...

Imaginary friend: That's because you're the poster-child for ADD. But thank god no one has tried to name us yet :sighs in relief:

Sara-chan: Which reminds me! What about the names for these poor poor nameless people whom I mock because they have no names? I think people forgot about you :laughs evilly: see! I told you no one likes you! HA! Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

Imaginary friend: but...but...:wails: BUT I DON'T HAVE A PIPE::sobs:

Sara-chan: Then you can have mine :hands imaginary friend her bubble pipe, you know, the kind you blow soap bubbles from:

Imaginary friend: ...:sobs::blows nose on sleeve: thanks...:takes pipe and leaves:

Sara-chan: Well, I guess it's time to continue the fic...and to continue my dance :starts dancing again:

Chapter 4

My defenses are down,

a kiss or a frown.

Can't survive on my own.

"Tsunade-baba!" Naruto nearly gave Neji a heart attack then. His jaw dropped. How stupid was this boy, calling the evilly smirking lady that now controlled their fate an extremely offensive name?

"I told you not to call me that! Now get over here, we're gonna play blackjack...oh, and your little friend can play too."

Now Neji's eyes widened to an unhealthy size. Just what in high holy hell was going on in here? Were all these people on crack? Here he was sitting in the head of discipline's office playing cards right after he rearranged a guy's face just down the hall not more than a half an hour ago. Well, not that he was complaining, it was that he was hoping to impress Naruto by getting them out of trouble by using his oh-so-mysterious powers as president of student council. Now he was sitting here looking like a chump and losing to Naruto in a stupid card game. It was obvious that Naruto was down here a lot, from the way these two talked to each other.

"Hey, onibaba(1) where's ton-ton?" Many things were flung in Naruto's general direction after he called her a devil woman. Several hit their mark, leaving the blonde cowering in the nearest corner, and then when the barrage did not stop, he hid behind the nearest thing that could be used as a shield, which , was in fact, Neji himself. Only when a mechanical pencil bounced off Neji's forehead did Tsunade stop throwing things.

"Opps, sorry errr, Neji, was it?"

"It's alright" He replied coolly. He looked up at the clock, they had been there for almost 3 hours, and had missed lunch. In fact their last class would end in about 15 minutes. "May we go now?"

"Oh, Ah, yes! ...And if any one asks, you were doing paperwork the whole time!" She winked at both boys as they left.

"Gaawwwd! I am so hungry!" Naruto complained as they made their way back to Neji's co-ed dorm, the finest one the Konoha University had to offer.

"Do you want to go get something to eat?"

Naruto smiled his brightest and said "That's the best thing I have heard all day!" And then proceeded to grab Neji by the hand and drag him off to one of the many food stalls that were around there.

'He's holding my hand...He's holding my hand...' Was the only coherent thought that the Hyuga had.

A shadow moved across the wall, one among many, watching the two boys as one led the other towards a more crowded part of campus. The kidnapping would have to wait for another time, when there would be less witnesses...

Neji watched in amazement as the blond sitting next to him ate ANOTHER bowl of ramen, but he had lost count after the 11th. Where was Naruto putting all this food? Was his stomach some sort of abyss, without a bottom?

The owner of the little stall smiled at Naruto, and said he'd just put it on the tab. Was it just him, or did all adults seem to have a soft spot for his little angel,...not that he blamed them though, he would do almost anything to keep the other boy happy.

Neji was pulled out of his musings as Naruto tapped him on the shoulder and indicated that they should leave. Neji agreed with that assessment, and he was ready to go when he spotted one Uchiha Sasuke glaring at them from the other end of the stall. And to his surprise, Naruto glared back, took Neji's hand in his, stuck his tongue out and turned to leave...Okay, so that was REALLY suspicious, but Neji was yet again being dragged back to his dorm by Naruto and did not have any time to ponder this discovery.

Back at the dorm, Neji was being tempted...That was, what was really going on was that they were both working on the plans for the trip , which was okayed by the principal, Hatake Kakashi, obviously he was convinced by the science teacher, Iruka-sensei. Iruka was another adult that would obey Naruto's every whim... okay, so maybe not every one, but still. And there was also something obviously going on between the science teacher and the principal, or Neji was the Queen of England.

Back to the story... Well, here they were, trying to work on the paper work for the trip, and poor Neji couldn't concentrate on a damn thing other than Naruto. He was just so damn close, Neji could reach out and touch him if he wanted to. But he also knew that if he touched Naruto, he would probably end up molesting the poor child, and that would be a BAD thing.

Neji watched the temptation as he read quietly to himself, forming the words with his mouth, but no sound coming out. He watched as Naruto wrinkled his nose at a word he did know, and bite his bottom lip as he then wrote something down. Neji just stared and stared and stared, not noticing what he was doing for a good twenty minutes. When he finally caught himself and forced his eyes away he noticed the pen trail he had accidentally made on his paper...Actually, there were several of them.

Neji stood up and shook his head. "Do you want to take a break?"

"Sure...Hey, Neji, you spell midget with a "d" right?(2)"

"WHA!"

"Eh-heh... just kidding...umm...can I have a drink?"

"Sure, let me get you one, Mountain Dew right?" Neji had made sure to buy Mountain Dew earlier for the boy.

"Uh, yeah...hey, you remembered! There was that dazzling smile again.

Neji nodded and smiled and went to the vending machine in the lobby. He hummed a little tune as he started to go back but a voice behind him stopped him. "Hey, Neji we're ordering pizza. do you want some?"

It was Kiba, still carrying around that dog of his, and Choji, who was grumbling something about wanting barbecue instead.

"No, thanks, I'm kinda busy. Gotta run."

"Well, in that case, would you mind lending a couple buck to the pizza fund for starving students, it's a very respected charity!"

"Grrr" Neji dug into his back pocket and got a 5 out of his wallet and unsuccessfully tried to chuck it into the boy's face, it landed pitifully short, being made of paper and all.

"Thanks bud, I owe ya' one"

"How about taking your turn at cleaning out he showers for a change." he mumbled as he continued his way up the stairs.

When he returned to his room, he heard funny noises through the door, and then a crash. He ran to investigate and heard Naruto yelling, "Sasuke! get off me dammit!"

Neji was horrified at the sight he saw when he entered the room. His little precious was pinned under...UNDER SASUKE...and that was not all, they were on his bed, and Sasuke had ripped Naruto's shirt so that Neji could see his perfect abdomen, with a strange spiral tattoo on it.

And that's when Neji exploded...

To be continued...

Rants: Well, I trying to decide whether or not to kill off Sasuke yet...just kidding! Well, here are some explanations

(1)- onibaba is devil women, in case you didn't know that...

(2)about the midget thing... well, my friend Al, (AKA: hogo-chan) asked what I wanted for my birthday, so I made a list. But before I gave it to her I asked her that question...and then she stole it and put it in one of her fics :growls like a cornered wombat: and ever since then we have had a custody disagreement about that...not that you care though

Imaginary friend that now possesses a pipe: I care :hugs Sara-chan::head is bitten off::runs around like a headless chicken:

Joe the friendly necromancer: How many times have we gone over this! You are supposed to act like a good little slave! Good little slaves DO NOT go around and eat people!

Sara-chan:...but...but...

Joe the friendly necromancer: NO BUTS! TWENTY LASHINGS FOR YOU!

Sara-chan::is beaten within an inch of her life:...owwie...re...remember ...to...to re...review...:dies again: