A/N: I had no idea where I wanted to take the story when I started writing this chapter, but after a few paragraphs I had a pretty good idea. And then it didn't took many time to write it. Afterward I finished it I sent it to LorelaiAkaCoffeeAddict who proofread and of course I want to thank her for that! And I want to thank everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter! Now on with the next…
Chapter 29 More hope
A few days later there were still no changes in Emily's condition. The doctor kept telling that it was up to her, although he did mention that the longer it took her to wake up, the smaller the change was that it would actually happen. But, he said, it's been only 4 days so she still has a good change. That's why the family kept hoping, which was basically all they could do at the moment.
They each took turns in watching Emily. They spent as much time with her as possible. Even at night they made sure there was somebody with her. By the time one of them really got tired they went to the Gilmore mansion to take a few hours of rest, a telephone next to the bed side in case there was some news.
Rory had taken her grandfather home for a few hours, and Luke and Lorelai were with Emily. Lucan was, of course, with them. The nurses had become easier with him being there, realizing that there was no other option. He needed to be fed every 4 hours, and Lorelai had to be with him to do that. Luke mentioned switching over to bottles but Lorelai wouldn't even discuss it. "I can do it. I won't fail him here." He tried to argue that it was probably the best in this situation but she said she could manage. She said that he shouldn't have the feeling that it was inconvenient having him and then have someone else taking care of him. She was his mother and she could take care of him, no matter what situation they were in. Luke decided to let it go as long as she seemed to manage.
Lorelai was just done feeding Lucan and Luke was reading a magazine when Karen entered the room. "Hey."
Lorelai looked up as she closed the last button of her shirt and lifted the baby to her chest. "Hey." She was happy to see her newfound friend. Karen had stopped by several times the past few days to see how they were doing, to be there for them.
"How is she doing?"
"Still no changes. The doctor says she still has a change though."
"How are you holding up?" She took a chair and sat down next to Lorelai.
"I'm managing. It's hard to see her like this though. I wish she wouldn't be so stubborn and just opens her eyes. But she always has to give me a hard time before…"
Karen had heard a lot of stories about Emily and Lorelai's relationship the past few days and knew exactly what she was talking about. "I brought you something."
Lorelai looked at Lucan who wasn't back asleep yet. He was just looking around. "Hand him to me." Luke looked at her.
"Thanks." Luke lifted the baby to his shoulder and happily cuddled him. Lorelai smiled when she saw the look on his face.
Karen picked up the plastic bag she was carrying earlier, opened it and handed Lorelai a map with pictures. "Here."
"Thanks." She opened the map and pulled the pictures out. She smiled at the first picture. Luke and Lucan, dressed similar, both smiling. "This pictures is awesome!" She turned to Luke. "Hon, look!"
He smiled at the picture. "It's not so bad as I thought it would be."
Lorelai knew he loved the picture, even though the tone in his voice might suggest something else. She looked at the rest of the pictures and showed Luke one of Rory and Lucan as well.
"That's a really nice picture."
"I know." Lorelai smiled "This is the best one in there, besides the one of Lucan and Luke."
Karen smiled at the look on Lorelai's face. She was glad she could do something for her. She pulled two flat carton boxes out of the bag and handed them to Lorelai.
She opened the first one and found the picture of both her kids inside, enlarged, in a nice wooden picture frame. "This is beautiful, Karen thank you so much!" She opened the other box and found the picture of father and son in a frame that looked the same as the other picture was in. It was the exact same picture of which Lorelai had said that it was her favorite.
"I think we think alike. There's one more thing in the bag. It's actually for your mother." She pulled it out of the bag and handed it to Lorelai. It was a smaller picture frame than the ones Lorelai had gotten earlier, but it contained the same picture of Rory and Lucan.
"Thank you so much. This means a lot to me." She cradled the frame to her chest. Then she stood up and walked to her mother's bed. "Hey mom, I've got you something. I'll place it here on your nightstand. That way, when you open your eyes you can see it." She carefully placed the picture frame on the nightstand and smiled slightly at her mother, then she turned around and walked out of the room without saying anything.
Luke watched his wife leave, confused. Karen looked at him, the same look on her face. "What happened? Did I do something wrong?"
"No, I think it's getting a little too much for her. We just have to leave her alone for a while so she can process. I'll go after her in a few minutes."
"Does it happen more often?"
"Well yeah, for example when she went to see you on the day of the accident. She needs some time to herself, just to think everything out. She has to deal with it herself before she can talk to me, or to Rory for that matter."
"I understand. It's good that you respect that."
"Honestly, I'm just like her, so we know it from each other."
"I guess you're a lot alike."
"Well, in some ways. In other ways we're completely different."
"In some ways you need to be opposites to make things work I guess."
"Well, maybe."
"How did you meet her?"
"Lorelai?"
"Yeah."
"I own a diner and Lorelai's addicted to coffee and she can't cook. So when she bought a house there, she came to my diner. The first time she came in begging me for coffee. She never left."
"Did you fall in love with her immediately?"
"Well, I guess I did. I wouldn't admit it to myself though. It took us 8 years to get together."
"That's a long time."
"Yeah it was. But the only thing important is that we're together now."
"I suppose it is."
He checked his watch. "Hey, can you watch Lucan for me so I can go find Lorelai."
"Sure, no problem."
Luke handed her the baby. "He just ate so he should fall back asleep soon. He's still fighting off sleep, but I'm sure he won't be awake much longer. When he's asleep you can lay him down in the bassinet. I don't know how long I'll be, but we'll try to be back as soon as possible."
"Hey, take your time. You've spent the last four days in this hospital. She needs some time to deal with everything. Don't worry about Lucan or me. I'm not going anywhere."
"But you're shift is over, you should be heading home soon."
"Don't worry about that. My husband and my daughter are visiting his parents and won't come back until tomorrow evening, so there's nobody at home for me anyway. I'd rather help you guys out than do nothing at home."
"Thank you. I can't say how much I appreciate everything you're doing for us."
"Don't mention it. I'm glad I can help."
Luke gave the woman a small smile and stood up. He walked out the door and looked around. Lorelai was nowhere to be seen. The hospital was big, so it was a little hard to find her. Luke considered where she might be and came up with two options. One would be the cafeteria to get herself a cup of coffee, or outside to get some fresh air. As she was still breastfeeding, he hoped it was the last. Knowing Lorelai it was the first. He took the stairs to the cafeteria, needing the time to think what to say to her. Thinking about what's bothering her. When he reached the cafeteria he had a pretty good idea. He looked around and wasn't surprised to see Lorelai at a table, holding a big steaming mug of coffee. He walked towards the table and sat down on the other side.
"You better tell me that's decaf."
Lorelai looked up. "Hey, yes it is actually."
"Good. Are you okay?"
"Sure, I'm fine."
He sighed when she was going that way again. "Lorelai, why do you always try that first. It's getting old."
"Well, sorry." She sounded hurt.
"Sorry, I didn't meant it like that. I know you're not fine when you walk out of the room without saying anything."
"I…. I just needed some time to think."
"I know. That's okay. You can get all the time you need. I'm just worried about you, that's all."
"Sorry."
"It's okay. I understand."
Lorelai sipped her coffee in silence. Once the cup was empty she asked "Can we go for a walk?"
"Sure." He stood up as she did the same. He took her hand in his and together they walked out of the cafeteria towards the elevator. "You want to go outside for a while, get some fresh air?"
"That sounds great."
They walked in silence. When they were about to leave the hospital, Lorelai asked "Where's Lucan?"
"Karen's with him. She told us to take as long as we need so we don't have to worry about him."
"Okay." She was silent again.
Outside they both took in the fresh air. They noticed how much the weather changed the days they spent in the hospital. When they came here it was still cold, but now they weren't wearing jackets and it was actually kind of nice, even as it was evening already.
After a few minutes Lorelai started to talk. "It was great to see those pictures. They are really great. The picture of you and Lucan is beautiful. And even though you didn't react very enthusiastic, I know how proud you are to have that picture. And the one with Rory and Lucan, it's the first picture I have of our kids together and it's a really great picture. Both of them will look great in the living room."
When she didn't continued Luke replied. "I'll put them up when we get home."
"That would be great." She thought for a while. "When I saw the last picture and had to give it to my mother, it just got too much. I stood there, telling her that it could be the first thing she sees after she opened her eyes. And then I thought, what if she'll never open her eyes again? Then she can never see that picture. I don't want it to be the picture she gets buried with. I can't handle that Luke. I can't."
"Hey, don't think like that. You have to think positive remember?"
"You've been telling me that for four days Luke. And I tried, I really tried. But it's so hard and I don't think I can do it anymore. It is so hard."
At those words he stood still and turned her around so she could face him.
"But you have to honey. I know how hard it is, but you have no choice. No matter how much I want you to have a choice, you don't. I can't even imagine how this is for you, and all I can do is be there for you and it hurts that I can't do more for you."
"But that's enough Luke. That's all you can do."
"Thinking positive is all you can do, no matter how that sounds. You have no choice Lorelai. I know how scared you are. Believe me, I'm scared too."
"How long will it take Luke?"
"How long will what take?"
"Until she wakes up? I can think positive but then someone needs to tell me. A day? A week? A month? I need to know Luke."
He watched her. He didn't know what to say. "What do you want me to see Lorelai? I don't know."
"But I need it Luke. I…."
He took her into his arms. "I know you do." He held her close to his chest as she silently cried. He could see how helpless she felt. She liked being in control of things and now all she could do was watching from the sideline, hoping that everything worked out okay. That isn't her nature and no matter what he would say, he could never make things right. So he did what he was best at and held her, comfort her till she found the strength she needed to go on again.
After a few minutes she had calmed down. He loosened his grip on her, but not letting her go completely. After a while she pulled back. He used his thumb to wipe away her tears. "Feeling better?"
"Yeah, thanks. You know, it's just so hard that I can't control this situation. I hate to see her hurt and when I sit next to her bed, I expect her to open her eyes any second. And every second she doesn't I get more disappointed. I want her to wake up so badly, and I know that my mother didn't do many things in her life that I really wanted, but I need her to do it, only if it's this once. It's crazy, but I miss her comments and all the other annoying things she does." She tried to smile.
"That's not crazy. That's not crazy at all."
"No?"
"Absolutely not."
"All my life I wanted a different relationship with my mother. I wanted her to take me shopping or do other mother daughter stuff with me. She never did. I wanted her to be proud of me when I had an A- for my English paper, but she said I could have done better. I wanted so many things and she never really understood what I wanted. I think the wedding was the first time she did things exactly the way I wanted them to be, without arguing with me that it wasn't appropriate. Not even when we wanted to plan the wedding in a few days, she didn't say it was inappropriate to invite guests at the last moment. When we're going back upstairs later and walk into her room, I expect her to tell me that it's inappropriate to leave her son with someone we don't even really know. But she won't. She will still be there, lying there with her eyes closed. The only noise coming from the machines that are keeping her alive."
"Do you want to go back upstairs?"
"In a little while? I like it out here. It's so quiet. The fresh air, not being in that sick making hospital smell. It's not even cold for the time of the year."
"I noticed that. Was it just 4 days ago when we went in here and that we dressed Lucan in his ski suit because it was freezing outside? It's weird that the weather can change so fast."
"Yeah, but it's weird that anything can change so fast."
"But everything can change fast again, in the good way."
"We don't know that Luke." She sighed. "I know, think positive."
"That's what I'm talking about." He smiled.
They stayed outside for a little while longer, until in the end, they started to get a little cold. Hand in hand they walked through the big hospital entrance. There were a lot of people in the main hall. People buying something at the gift shop, drinking a cup of coffee at the coffee stand, walking towards the elevator, or walking out of the hospital.
"You know, it's weird how many people are walking around here. I never realized so many people get sick all at once."
Luke squeezed Lorelai's hand. "Not everybody's here because they're sick. Some of them are employees, others are visitors, just like us. And not all people staying in the hospital are sick either. Like we were there a few weeks ago because of the birth of our son. So happy thing happen in hospitals too."
"How long did you think about that?" Lorelai smiled "You hate hospitals."
"Well, because we have to stay here for a long time I had to think of some positive things in a hospital, otherwise I would go crazy."
"I did notice that you're not so white as when you first walked in here. I guess this is working for you mister." At the same time they saw a gurney with a guy screaming as his face was covered in a big bandaged, the blood shining trough it. Luke looked away "Ah geez."
Lorelai smiled. "You forgot that there are still sick people here too."
"Well, you're laughing. That was definitely not funny."
"No, not for that guy, but the look on your face definitely was funny." She still laughed when the elevator reached their floor. When they stepped out, they walked into the ICU area. Her smile faded soon when she saw al lot of people in her mother's room. All of them were wearing white coats. She found Karen outside the room with a sleeping Lucan in her arms. "What happened?" The fright was evidence in her voice.
A big smile appeared on Karen's face. "She opened her eyes. The doctors are checking on her right now."
"What?" Lorelai thought she got it wrong.
"She's awake."
Her lip started to quiver and she turned in Luke's arms. This time her tears were from happiness though. After a few seconds she turned. "But how?"
"I was just about to put Lucan in the bassinet when I saw her open her eyes. She wanted to speak, but couldn't because of the tube in her mouth. I told her that she was in a car accident and that she was going to be okay. Than I went to get a doctor."
Lorelai hugged Karen. "Thank you so much!"
"I haven't done anything."
"You have no idea how much you have done. Really, you have no idea." Than she thought of something. "You see, my mother always does the one thing I don't expect. Downstairs I told Luke that I would go back and that she would lay there with no change. But my mother always has to surprise me." She couldn't stop smiling.
Luke watched her and smiled himself. She was so happy. He knew that there would still be a long way to go and that Emily waking up was only a small step into the right direction. But he had just told Lorelai to keep thinking positive so he didn't have the heart to tell her that now. They just had to wait what the doctor had to say. And it was good to see her happy again, really happy.
The doctor came about 20 minutes later. The rest of his team walked in other directions. "Mrs. Danes?"
"Yes?"
"Your mother woke up about 40 minutes ago. As soon as I came in here I started doing some tests. I also paged a neurologist to do some tests as well. I have to say it looks very good. We were able to remove the tube from your mother's throat. She's breathing on her own now. She can't talk because the tube has been in there for a while, but that will be better within a few days. She will have no permanent damage to the brain, although she has a little amnesia. She doesn't remember anything from the accident or a few days before that. We have to see how she's doing on the long term, but everything seems alright for now."
"Will her memory come back?"
"Maybe a little, but not everything."
"And the rest of her injuries, will they be better?"
"She needs a long time to recover, and she has to work hard to become her old self again. But that's what we're going for. After the surgery I told you that we had to see if her kidney will work again. We ordered a test to check on that, which will take place within the next few days. Like I told you before, we have to take one step at a time. But the fact that she's out of the coma now, is a very good progress. That was something she had to do herself, with the other things we can help her."
"How is she now?"
"I'm not sure I understand what you're saying?"
"I mean, how is she feeling?"
"Because she doesn't remember the accident she was scared when she woke up. She's in a hospital room with all kinds of scary machines attached to her. We explained to her what happened, but I don't think she will remember when she wakes up again."
"She's back in the coma?"
"No, absolutely not. She's just sleeping now. She was very exhausted."
"But she was asleep for four whole days."
"She's still seriously hurt. She will sleep a lot the next few days, but we like to see that. We're trying to keep her as comfortable as possible. We want to keep her on this floor for a while so we can have a close watch. After the type of injury she suffered we don't want her to fall back, instead of going forward."
"Is that possible?"
"It's possible, although it's not most likely. You don't have to worry about that, we just want to make sure she gets all right. It's for safety."
"Okay, I guess I like that."
"Because your mother is exhausted it's important that she has not to many visitors. She needs to sleep a lot to recover. Therefore I only allow 2 visitors at a time, with a maximum of 15 minutes. I assume your mother wants to see her grandson. Normally kids aren't allowed in the ICU rooms but I make an exception because he's a baby that sleeps a lot. Although, when he starts crying he has to leave the room."
"Thank you. Thank you so much."
"You're welcome. If there is anything you are worried about or if you have any question you can always page me. I'm having a night shift so I'm here all night."
"Thank you. I appreciate that." She still doubted if she could ask her question.
"You can ask, I don't know if I can answer, but you can always ask."
Lorelai smiled. "Will my mother be better?"
"I think so." With that his pager went off. He took it out of his pocket and checked the display. "I have to go now. But you can always page me if you need anything."
"Thank you doctor."
He nodded and ran away.
Lorelai hugged Luke. "She's going to be okay."
He could feel her smile. "I know."
She pulled back. "I should call my father."
"You better." Luke kissed her forehead.
Lorelai walked away towards the nurses' desk and asked if she could make a phone call. The nurse handed her the phone. She dialed the number and waited for someone to pick up.
After a few rings she heard Rory's voice. "Hello?"
"Rory?"
"Mom, what happened? Is everything okay?"
"She's awake."
"What?"
"She's awake."
"She's awake?"
"Yes, don't you hear me? She's awake, she's going to be fine!"
She heard Rory scream away from the phone "She's awake! Grandpa, grandma is awake!" Than she heard her daughter jumping up and down and did the same thing. They both kept repeating "She's awake!"
Karen watched Lorelai from a distance and turned to face Luke. "Is that the real Lorelai?"
He smiled. "Absolutely. That's her. That's the "I'm in control again" Lorelai. She can react very exaggerated but that's what I like about her. She can ramble on and on about the craziest things, and even though I want her to shut up sometimes, I hate it when she gets all silent. That's just not her."
"So I guess that's where the difference in you is huh?"
"Yeah, I guess so." He stood up. "Excuse me, I think I have to shut her up now, people are starting to give her angry looks."
"You better do that." Karen smiled as she watched him walk towards her.
"Hey hon, you remember that we're in a hospital right?"
"What?" She stood still.
"What?" Rory said in the phone.
"It's Luke."
"Oh."
"I said that you have to stop screaming. We're still in a hospital."
"Oh, sorry."
"Hey Rory, you better get grandpa here so we can explain everything. It's easier than explaining it through the phone. Just tell him she will be alright, okay?"
"I will. See you soon."
"See you soon babe." With that she hung up.
"You're done now?" The nurse asked her.
"Yeah sorry. I didn't meant to…"
"It's okay. Just remember the next time." The nurse smiled. Working in the ICU she saw a lot of critical patients that never made it so she was glad when a patient did. That's why she didn't said anything to Lorelai but waited for Luke to come. She admired that this woman was in the hospital almost the entire time. Most relatives left the patient alone and waited at home for a phone call, only visiting a few minutes like it was an obligation or something. She hated that and could never do that. She was glad to see that there were people that are completely the opposite as well.
10 minutes later Rory and Richard walked in. "Mom?" Rory screamed as she ran towards her mother. Lorelai stood up and pulled her daughter in a hug.
"Hey sweetie. Just try to keep your voice down a little okay, we're still in a hospital."
"Oh right, sorry."
Lorelai let her daughter go and turned to her father. "She's going to be okay dad."
"Thank God." He said.
Lorelai smiled. "She woke up about an hour ago. The doctors did all kinds of tests and said she'll be just fine. It will take a while for her to recover, but she's going to be okay. She has a little memory loss though, so she doesn't remember anything from the accident or the days before. She might get some memory back, but not all according to the doctor. The doctor told her about the accident, but she will probably not remember that anymore when she wakes up again. Oh, and she can't speak because the tube was in her throat for so long but that will be better in a few days. She's asleep now, but you can see her if you want. Only two people can go in at the time, with a maximum of 15 minutes. I think that's all." She had gotten everything out in three breaths.
Richard understood most of what his daughter was saying, although the speed of her voice made it kind of difficult, although he was used to it. "I'll go see her now. You want to come with me?"
"No, you go. I'll go in later."
"Okay thanks." He was glad that he could spend a few minutes alone with his wife. He walked in the room and kissed her forehead. She slowly opened her eyes at the touch. "Hey, you gave me a big scare here."
She blinked her eyes.
"Do you know what happened?"
Emily shook her head. "We were in a car accident. I'm fine and you are going to be fine."
She nodded.
"Are you tired?"
She nodded again.
"Go back to sleep. I'm going to sit right here next to you okay? I'm not going anywhere."
She nodded again and watched how Richard took her hand in his before he sat down.
"Close your eyes Emily." And that's what she did.
Lorelai watched her parents from a distance. She had to blink away a few tears when she saw their interaction. Luke stood behind her and placed his arm around her shoulder. "You okay?"
"More than okay now that she's going to be."
"I'm glad."
"Hey Luke?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think we're still going to be like that when we're old?"
He smiled "You better not let your mother know you called her old."
"You know what I meant."
"I hope so."
"Me too."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
And they stood like that for a while, arms around each other. They watched how Emily fell back asleep, and how Richard did the same thing. And nobody commented that he was in there longer than 15 minutes.
A/N: That's all for now. Don't worry, this is not the last chapter. We still need some Lorelai/Emily interaction and we have to find out how Emily feels about the picture. I don't know when the chapter will be up, but you can read it as soon as I wrote it and, of course, after my beta proofread it. For now, let me know how you feel about this chapter. I like to hear your opinion!