Aurora Whisperwind: Oh wow, what nice reviews! Thank you so much, you guys! Here's chapter…er-scene 2!
Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or any of its characters. I also do not own 'A Christmas Carol' by Charles Dickens. Thank you.
Scene 2
Music: A brief bridge, up and out.
Kenshin: er, pardon me, Mr. Saitoh, but there's a gentleman here to see you. (Whispering) Mister? You'd better watch your step, Saitoh.
Saitoh: What the heck's your problem? You always go around respecting every moron in the universe anyway.
Kenshin: I only respect people I like or don't know. Not my enemies.
Saitoh: Shut up Kenshin, and stick to the script!
Kenshin: (Pouting) I'm not going to stick to it if I have to grovel like a slave…
Saitoh: You grovel like a slave before Tanuki, right? This shouldn't be hard.
Kenshin: Lay off Kaoru-dono! She has nothing to do with this! And if hadn't given you those flowers, you would have died! Killed by that freakish woman who happens to be your wife!
Saitoh: That's it, you little red-haired girly man, you're dead!
Kenshin: Catch me if you can, loser! Muhuhahahahahahahahahaha!
Authoress: Alright, break it up people. Kaoru, stop your red-haired freak, will you? And who put sedatives in his coffee, huh?
Kaoru: Come on Kenshin, stop running! That's it, if you don't stop now, I'll make you do Sano's laundry!
Brief interval, punctuated with screams and pounding feet, topped with Kaoru's insane laughter.
Scene 2, take 2!
Music: A brief bridge, up and out.
Kenshin: (back to his normal self, though slightly more sober) er, pardon me, Mr. Saitoh, but there's a gentleman here to see you.
Saitoh: What about, Himura?
Kenshin: He didn't say, sir.
Gentleman: Ah, Good afternoon, sir. Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr. Souji or Mr. Saitoh?
Saitoh: Mr. Souji, my former partner has been dead for a long time. He died years ago this same night.
Backstage, Okita: Aaaawwww, he remembered when I died!
Gentleman: Then I have no doubt that his liberality is well represented by his surviving partner.
Saitoh: (Mumbling) you little beast! Even in death you manage to ruin my life! First that pig and now your supposed 'liberality'. (Out loud) What do you want?
Gentleman: At this festive season, Mr. Saitoh, we try to make some slight provision for the destitute. Many thousands of poor people who've been pushed into boiling candy by their respective Tanabata dates and miraculously survived need our help.
(Pause)
Gentleman: Christ, what kind of stupid charity is this? Boiled in candy? I thought we were supposed to show him how wonderful Tanabata is, not that he could be boiled in candy!
Authoress: Cut! Don't complain, will you? This ain't Christmas! In my defense, it was hard! That's all you'll be getting from my pathetic imagination!
Kenshin: I have a better idea for a charity…
Saitoh: I don't think getting beaten unconscious by an insane bokken wielding Tanuki is a reason for you to have a charity for it.
Kaoru: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?
Crash. Thud. Groan.
Saitoh: On second thought, it's a great idea…
Kenshin: Oroooooooooooo…..
Kenshin fan club: Woooooooo! He said it!
Authoress: Cut! Control yourself, Kaoru! Get those girls out of here! And I have a better idea…
Take 3!
Saitoh: What do you want?
Gentleman: At this festive season, Mr. Saitoh, we try to make some slight provision for the destitute. Many people who've lost their loved ones are alone and homeless on the streets.
Saitoh: I see, so what?
Gentleman: How much should I put you down for, Mr. Saitoh?
Saitoh: Nothing.
Gentleman: (Puzzled) Nothing?
Saitoh: Exactly! Let these deserving people of yours go get a life on their own. I'm not going to go around sympathizing with every fool who's 'lonely' I'm very busy right now. And it's really stupid to come ask for charity in Police stations, you know. A good afternoon to you.
Gentleman: (Quietly) Very good, Mr. Saitoh. A very happy Tanabata to you.
Sound: Door opens and closes.
Saitoh: There he goes with the Tanabata crap again!
Kenshin: er, Mr. Saitoh, sir.
Saitoh: Well, what is it, Himura?
Kenshin: I was wondering-
Saitoh: You were wondering if you could go home.
Kenshin: Yes sir. It's getting late.
Saitoh: (with unexpected sympathy) Poor man. Of course you can go. Tanuki will have your blood otherwise.
Authoress: Cut! Saitoh!
Saitoh: What? Come on, he has the worst fate in the world! Going home to that insane- Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! (Hides, or tries to hide behind Kenshin)
Kaoru: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…………
Authoress: Um… stop that! Someone distract Kaoru!
Megumi: I'll attend to that. Ohohohohohohohoho!
Brief interval again. Ignore all those violent sounds.
Take 4!
Kenshin: er, Mr. Saitoh, sir.
Saitoh: Well, what is it, Himura?
Kenshin: I was wondering-
Saitoh: You were wondering if you could go home.
Kenshin: Yes sir. It's getting late.
Saitoh: Oh yes, go on. You'll want all day tomorrow, I suppose?
Kenshin: If it's quite convenient sir.
Saitoh: It's not convenient, and it's not fair.
Kenshin: It's only once a year, sir.
Saitoh: A poor excuse. I suppose you must have the whole day. But be here all the earlier the next day, understand?
Kenshin: Yes sir. Happy Tanabata!
Saitoh: There you go again, with the Tanabata rubbish.
Kenshin: Isn't it kinda weird, me wishing you?
Saitoh: Yes, it is. It almost sounds like- Wait, don't even think about that.
Kenshin: (brightly) Ok. (More somber now) I guess I have to go home then. Why couldn't you refuse to let me go home? You could have made some excuse!
Saitoh: Because there is no decent reason for keeping you overnight in the office, ahou. What would people think?
Kenshin: (Eyes widening to the size of saucers) Oroooooooooooo!
Authoress: Cut! Cut I say! Are you guys insane? We're not filming a Yaoi sequence, you know! Sort that out in the privacy of the dressing room! Let's edit the last scene. That's all for today.
Kaoru: (Facing Tokio) did you-?
Tokio: Nope.
A little away, Kenshin and Saitoh are trying to explain to Sano. It's going to be a long night of explanations.
Good bye for the present! This fic is rated T, not M!
Ha! Kenshin and Saitoh, that's ridiculous! Slightly longer chapter now. Next scene, the ghost of Okita Souji makes an appearance.
Thanks to everyone who's reviewed! Lolo popoki and Rurouni-maxi, what will I do without you guys? Read and review, please.