Aurora Whisperwind: Hiya! Another Thursday and lots of updates! I loved your reviews, they were great you guys! Sniff sniff and now, finally, the star of the show, the ghost of Okita Souji!
Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or any of its characters. I also do not own 'A Christmas Carol' by Charles Dickens. Thank you. Who owns 'A Christmas Carol' anyway? Does anyone know?
Scene 3.
Music: Romantic music, usually associated with misty windows and cozy cushions is played, up and under.
Narrator#3: (Okay, the other guy was Gatotsued too…something about how a hen-pecked man like Saitoh was 3rd captain…anyway, back to the point) A few minutes later, Saitoh leaves his police station- What the heck? His police station? I thought police stations belonged to the government!
Saitoh: (Looking dangerously cool) Well, I prefer to ah- spread my influence around my work place.
Narrator#3: So that makes it yours? And everyone working there aren't your colleagues, but your slaves? This isn't fair! What does the government say about this? Why are they turning a blind eye towards the blatant corruption right under their noses? Isn't the motto of the government 'To the people, by the people, for the people'? Wh-
Sickening sound of flesh tearing
Authoress: (In tears) I don't know how the Meiji era government worked! I'm not Japanese! I don't know my own history, forget yours! You're making me look bad! I never thought I'd have to answer another history question….
Saitoh: Calm down, I killed that ahou. Too idealistic. The place I work at becomes mine; anyone has a problem with that? (Looks at a long line of Narrators, who gulp and shake their heads)
Authoress: I beg to disagree. This fic is mine, Saitoh. Another word of rebellion and I'll drastically alter the story line! So no trouble, okay? Alright people, back to work! And somebody remove that body.
Scene 3, take 2!
Music: Romantic music, usually associated with misty windows and cozy cushions is played, up and under.
Narrator#4: A few minutes later, Saitoh leaves his police station and makes his way to his melancholy chambers, a gloomy suite of rooms. By the light of a single flickering candle, he eats his cold soba. And then, to save lighting his stove, Hajime Saitoh retires for the night.
(Music out) The minutes tick away. Saitoh sleeps uneasily, tossing from side to side.
Saitoh: Hold it! Just because I don't believe in this crappy day doesn't mean I live a miserable life, okay? And I should definitely have a bigger house! And cold soba? That's outrageous! And why the hell will I go to bed at 8?
Authoress: (Through gritted teeth) Saitoh…what did I say about my pathetic imagination?
Saitoh: I just-
Authoress: I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! SHUT UP AND STOP INTERRUPTING! I HAVE ENOUGH TROUBLES WITHOUT YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE POINTING OUT MY MISTAKES! YOU TRY ADAPTING THIS PLAY, MISTER!
Silence. More silence. Okay then….
Scene 3, take 3!
Narrator#4: A few minutes later, Saitoh leaves his police station and makes his way to his melancholy chambers, a gloomy suite of rooms. By the light of a single flickering candle, he eats his cold soba. And then, to save lighting his stove, Hajime Saitoh retires for the night.
(Music out) The minutes tick away. Saitoh sleeps uneasily, tossing from side to side.
Sound: Chains are dragged across the floor.
Narrator#4: Suddenly he awakes with a start. Walking towards him, and dragging a heavy chain, is a grey dim, figure of the most gorgeous guy the authoress has ever seen…. he stops at the foot the bed, looks towards the back stage, and winks. (Back stage, Authoress and millions of fan-girls swoon)
Saitoh: (Pissed off) who are you? What do you want with me? (Pause) Who are you? (Grumbling under his breath) Stupid show off. Like I don't know who you are.
Okita: Ask me who I was. (Whispering) Saitoh-san, you're supposed to act terrified, not like you'll eat the person in front of you. Not that you can eat me, because-
Saitoh: (Hissing) Shut up, Okita! (In a monotone voice) You're…you're…
Okita: Yes, in life, I was your partner, Okita Souji.
Saitoh: (In the same, dull voice) But it cannot be so. You're dead.
Okita: You don't believe me? (Whispering) you know, it's because I died that I'm a ghost.
Saitoh: I know, you little runt. (Aloud) No. you're nothing but an undigested bit of soba, a blot of sake, a bit of tofu.
Okita: (Eyes becoming big and glossy) that's all I am? Leftover bits of food? I'm so disappointed in you, Saitoh-san! I thought you liked me!
Saitoh: News-flash. I don't like you!
Okita: (Runs off stage, bawling his eyes out)
Everyone off stage: (glaring at Saitoh)
Saitoh: (Defensively) What?
Kenshin: (appearing out of nowhere) I believe you hurt his feelings, that I do.
Authoress: SAITOH, I HATE YOU! (Runs off to get Okita back)
Saitoh: Jeez, what's the big deal? That's what's written in the script! I can't help it if the guy's such a sap.
Kenshin: You could have been a little less brutal, Saitoh. You should not have said that you hated him.
Saitoh: Hey, I never said I hated him, I just said that I- well- um…okay, I see…
Brief interval again.
Scene 3, take 4!
Narrator#4: A few minutes later, Saitoh leaves his police station and makes his way to his melancholy chambers, a gloomy suite of rooms. By the light of a single flickering candle, he eats his cold soba. And then, to save lighting his stove, Hajime Saitoh retires for the night.
(Music out) The minutes tick away. Saitoh sleeps uneasily, tossing from side to side.
Sound: Chains are dragged across the floor.
Narrator#4: Suddenly he awakes with a start. Walking towards him, and dragging a heavy chain, is a grey dim, figure of the most gorgeous guy the authoress has ever seen…. he stops at the foot the bed.
Saitoh: (Pretending, but failing miserably to look scared) who are you? What do you want with me? (Pause) Who are you?
Okita: (Still looking kind of upset) ask me who I was.
Saitoh: You're…you're…
Okita: Yes, in life, I was your partner, Okita Souji.
Saitoh: But it cannot be so. You're dead.
Okita: You don't believe me?
Saitoh: No. You're just my cruddy imagination playing up again. (Snarling in the direction of the authoress) changed the lines, have you?
Okita: You are wrong, Saitoh-san. I'm the ghost of Okita Souji.
Saitoh: Why do you come to me?
Okita: It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow men and travel far and wide; and if the spirit does not go forth in life, it is condemned to do so after death.
Saitoh: No, I don't believe it. But then again, I was always a pompous, egoistical jerk who thought that everyone else was dirt. I realize I'm wrong. (Whispering) Now I know everyone else is dirt. Earlier, I gave them the benefit of the doubt.
Okita: It is then doomed to wander through the world.
Saitoh: You are chained, Okita. Tell me why, as I am too stupid to realize on my own. (Grrrrrrrrrrrrr)
Okita: I wear the chain I forged in life. I made link by link, and yard by yard. I wore it of my own free will. Is the pattern too strange (Suppresses his giggling) for your extraordinarily thick head?
Saitoh: (Trembling, with rage, not fear) I don't understand, Okita. You know how dumb I am.
Okita: The chain I wear is as heavy as the one you're now forging.
Saitoh: You talk strangely, Okita. Can't you use plain language, which a country bumpkin like me can understand?
Okita: For years I have been dead- traveling the whole time. No rest, no peace. Only remorse.
Kenshin: (Backstage) Hey that's how I felt! Until I met Kaoru-dono, of course. She gave me-
Authoress: (Clamping her hand over his mouth) Continue!
Saitoh: But why, (Pause) guy who was oh-so-much-cooler-and-better than me during the Bakamatsu (A/N: Spelling?)?
Okita: You see, man has two choices. To be chained in life or death. I could have been chained in life by some woman. As I died young, I wouldn't have had a very bad life. At least I could have escaped early. (Sighs) But you, I have to warn you…to help you escape my fate. You have one chance left.
Saitoh: Tell me how this chance will come, (Pause) (Snarling) Oh supreme ruler of the planet!
Okita: My time draws near. I must go. Tonight you will be haunted by three spirits. The first will appear when the clock strikes one, expect the second at the stroke of two, and the third when the bell strikes three.
Saitoh: Couldn't I take them all at once and get it over with? (Hissing) Just like I'm gonna finish off the authoress?
Okita: No. And heed them when they appear. (Fading) Remember it is your last chance to escape my miserable fate. (Whispering) you'd better not, she might make you do ballet wearing a frilly pink tutu.
Saitoh: Point taken.
Authoress: Cut! Excellent! That was brilliant!
Saitoh: Edit- that- NOW.
Authoress: Apologize- to- Okita.
Saitoh: (Glares, but really has no choice) Oh alright, I'm sorry.
Okita: (Misty eyed) Aaaawwww, its okay, Saitoh-san. (Hugs the life out of him)
Authoress: Aaaawwww! That's so cute! Okay I'll edit it. And by the way, did anyone notice that Kenshin was not present in the first part of the show? He's not married and still so hen-pecked….
Aurora Whisperwind: That was a really long scene! 6 pages! I just want to re-assert that I love Saitoh and have nothing against him, but its real fun to ruin his life. Imagine him in a frilly pink tutu, it's scary….Muhuhahahahaha! Thank you all, for your wonderful reviews! And thank you to everyone who's added this story to their favorites list! And about the Saitoh and Kenshin explaining to Sano, I know I didn't clear that up properly then. See, Sano may be stupid, but not dumb enough to suspect the creepy possibility that something just might be going on between them. They were just trying to clear that up, that's all. Next scene, the ghost of Tanabata past!
Read and review, please!