A/N: I don't have much to say. Except that I'm happy that you guys are happy that I didn't ended the story. I love your reviews so much! And of course I want to thank LorelaiAkaCoffeeAddict again for the proofreading. You're really amazing!
Chapter 31 Going back
A week later Emily was doing a lot better. The kidney had retrieved its function and the other wounds were healing as well. Emily was still very weak, but physical therapy was helping her to get stronger. She still didn't remember anything from the accident, but a little of her memory from before came back. She had trouble remembering things though, but the neurologist said that it would be better within a few weeks. And that's what they were all hoping for.
In Stars Hallow everything was getting back to normal. Luke was opening the diner so he could take Lorelai to the hospital after dinner. Lane and Caesar closed up for him. Rory had received some assignments from her college program in London so she could finish it. They were very understanding but tried to convince her into coming back. So far Rory didn't want to hear about it and worked on the assignments they gave her. Lorelai was still on maternity leave, but started thinking about going back to work more and more. She missed it. Of course Rory was home, but she was busy with her assignments and Lucan was asleep most of the time so she was getting bored. She was in the diner a lot and visited the Inn more than once the past week.
It was Sunday night. Rory was already in bed, Lucan had his last feeding and Luke and Lorelai were in the bathroom, preparing themselves to go to bed.
"Hey Luke?"
"Yeah?" He looked at her in the mirror.
"I think I'm going to the Inn tomorrow."
"To visit Sookie?"
"No, I want to go back to work. I know that I still have two more weeks off, but I can't stay home any longer. I'm by myself most of the time and I get bored. Lucan is sleeping, you are working, Rory is busy all the time and I'm not doing anything. I'm driving myself crazy here."
"Don't you think it's too soon? Why can't you wait two more weeks?"
"Because I can't. I don't want to be by myself all the time anymore. I just need to do something you know."
"But why? I thought you like spending time at home with the baby and with Rory."
"I already told you, Lucan is asleep most of the time and Rory is busy with her assignments."
"Isn't it nice to be on your own for a while?" He wanted to understand that she needed to work, but he didn't get it. He didn't want her to rush back into work. He still hadn't forgotten how she rushed herself out of work, being forced into maternity leave early. They had agreed with Sookie that Lorelai wouldn't go back to work until Lucan was two and a half months.
"It was at first, but not anymore. I'm not good at this Luke, and you know it. Why do I get the feeling that you don't want me to go back to work yet?"
"Because you have two more weeks of maternity leave."
"So?"
"I just prefer if you stay home two more weeks, it can't be that bad."
"Well it is." She turned around and walked away angrily.
When Luke walked into their bedroom later, Lorelai was laying on her side turned away from him, pretending to be asleep.
"Lorelai." He sighed.
She didn't responded so he sat down on the bed and kissed her cheek. She turned around and shot him an angry look. "What?"
"Can't we talk about this like adults?" He remained quiet, even at the angry tone in her voice.
She sat up. "I don't see the use to that. You have your own opinion about this and you don't even try to see how this is for me."
"Then explain it to me."
"I tried Luke. You're not listening. I'm driving crazy in here. I need something to do. I already turned the entire house upside down. Moved all our furniture, got new curtains in every room in the house just to keep myself busy. And it's like you didn't even notice that or something."
"Of course I did. I like the curtains, but I like the curtains we had before, too."
"So did I."
"Than why did you change them?"
"I told you, because I'm bored Luke. Besides, all I can keep thinking about is my mother. I just can't do it anymore. I need to get back to work. Please try to understand."
"I'm trying Lorelai, I really am."
She shook her head. "No you're not. Forget it. I'll do whatever you want me to do for two weeks and go to work after that. Whatever you want Luke." She laid down and turned around again.
"No. It doesn't work like that either."
"What?" She turned again. "What is it that you want? I don't get it. I gave in. I won't go back to work. I'll be bored for another two weeks and go back to work after that. You got what you wanted."
"It's not what you want."
"That doesn't matter, now does it?"
"Yes it does. Of course it does. I just didn't realize you were unhappy. I thought you like spending time here, with Rory and Lucan."
"I do. I love spending time with them. It's just that I'd like to do something else again as well. I never was just a mom. I always worked. I'm just not the kind of woman that can stay at home the whole day. That's not me Luke. And I thought you knew that."
"I do know that. I just didn't really think of it I guess. But you're right. I guess it's time you go back to work. But can you please take it easy at the beginning?"
"How?"
"Well, just go to work a few days. Like part-time instead of fulltime"
"What do you have in mind?"
"Work 3 days. Like Monday, Wednesday and Friday for two weeks, and then when the maternity leave is officially over, you go back fulltime."
"I guess I can do that."
"Good. Now, what will we do with Lucan?"
"We decided to take him a few days each right?"
"Right." He smiled. "So, you want me to take him tomorrow then? You've been taking care of him for all those weeks now, I think it's fair that I take him first."
"I'd like that."
"What do you want to do with his feeding? Because you are still breastfeeding. You want to come over to the diner every 4 hours to feed him?"
"I guess we can go to the pharmacy and buy one of those pumps? That way you can give him a bottle, but we're still breastfeeding. I'm not ready to give it up yet. If it starts to be inconvenient, we can buy formula."
"Okay. Sounds like a good plan." He smiled. "We're okay now?"
"Yeah we are. Sorry, I kind of freaked out."
"Don't be. I just wish you talked to me about it earlier."
She gave him a kiss in response. "Thanks for listening to me though."
"Always." He kissed her again. "Let's get some sleep huh. We're going to have a busy day tomorrow."
"Yeah we do." She smiled as they snuggled down in the bed together. Lorelai placed her head on his chest, and he put his arm safe around her. She lifted her head once more to kiss him. "Goodnight, hon."
"Goodnight, Lorelai."
Lorelai woke up early the next morning. When she opened her eyes she saw that Luke was already gone. She looked up to see the time. 6.15. She didn't even sigh at being awake that early. She smiled. She was happy about going back to work. She had missed the Inn. Of course she was there regularly the past few weeks, but it was different. She stepped out of bed and walked towards her closet. The pregnancy weight was gone so she fit in her old clothes again. It had been so long since Lorelai had worn her work clothes. She had so many clothes in her closet that she wasn't able to wear for such a long time, that it was even harder to pick something than it normally was. After 10 minutes she just pulled something out and walked into the shower, but not before checking if Lucan was still asleep which he was. She showered, dressed and put on make-up. After she was done Lucan was awake as well. She gave him a bath and fed him. After that she packed his bag, left Rory a note and went towards Luke's.
Luke smiled as he saw his wife and son approaching. He was at the door before she was, to open it for her. He kissed her "Hey. You're early."
"Yeah. I was awake and I couldn't sleep anymore." She didn't tell him that she didn't even try to sleep a little longer. "Besides, Lucan would have woken up soon anyway. Now I was ready before he was instead of the other way around. It's more convenient anyway. I left Rory a note to let her know where I am today and that Lucan is with you. The pharmacy wasn't open yet, so I have to get there a little later."
"Good. So, what can I get you?" They walked towards the counter.
"Coffee and chocolate chip pancakes?"
"Sure." He poured her a cup of decaf and went into the kitchen to make her pancakes. He could see she was exited and was already used to the fact that she was going back to work. At first he wasn't happy about it, but now he saw the smile on her face, that changed instantly. He knew that she was acting a little different, but he thought that was about the whole situation with Emily. He never even thought that it would be anything else.
He came back with the pancakes a few minutes later and saw her holding the baby in her arms. He smiled as he placed the plate in front of her. Then he walked around the counter to take the baby from her. "Thanks." She picked up her fork and started eating, keeping her eyes on Luke and Lucan. She loved watching them together. For the first time she felt weird about going back to work, knowing that she had to leave Lucan with him. Maybe it would have been easier if she had taken him the first day, although she could hear Michel's complaining in her head already.
"What're you thinking?" He noticed, of course.
"That I have to leave him with you." She smiled weakly and he smiled back.
"We're going to be okay, you know that right?"
"Of course I do. I was just thinking that I'm going to miss him. I know I complained about spending those weeks alone with him, but now that I'm about to leave, I don't know."
He understood what she meant. He felt the same when he had to go to work after staying home with her and their newborn son for a few days. He had called her at least 5 times that day, wondering how they were doing and what they were doing. "You'll get used to it. And at least we don't have to leave him with some stranger like other people do."
"You're right. I just didn't think I would feel that way you know."
"I know. You can always decide to stay home two more weeks you know. You don't have to go to work yet, Sookie doesn't even know you're coming."
She thought about it and replied. "No, I have to do this. I'm driving myself crazy at home, and I would still feel the same two weeks from now. I better get it over with now."
"You sure?"
"Yeah. Positive."
He watched her as she ate the rest of her pancakes and sipped her coffee. "You guys going to be okay today?"
"We're going to be fine."
"Good. I'm going to the pharmacy now and I'll stop by in a few hours to bring you the bottle okay?"
"Okay." He walked towards her to kiss her and lifted the baby a little so she could kiss his cheek.
"Mommy loves you baby. I'm back before you know it."
Luke kissed her again. "Go, we're going to be just fine."
Lorelai nodded and walked away. The pharmacy was open by the time she got there. She bought a milk pump and a few bottles and walked towards the inn. There, she walked straight into the kitchen. A surprised Sookie looked up. "What are you doing here so early?"
"Working."
"I thought you had two more weeks or so?" Sookie looked confused.
"I know. I'm just driving myself crazy so I decided to come back early. Luke wasn't too happy about it first, but he's okay with it now. As long as I work only three days the first two weeks till my maternity leave is officially over."
"Oh. So you're back! I'm glad your back. But you don't have to be back. You can stay home if you want to. But you're driving yourself crazy so that's not good. We'll I'm glad to have you back! But where's the baby? You didn't leave him home alone did you?"
"Of course not. He's with Luke. You know we agreed on taking care of him together, just like I did with Rory back then, only now he's taking Lucan a few days as well. He thought it would be best if he takes him the first day."
"Oh, that's good. Not that I don't want him here of course. I love having him here. Michel will go crazy having him here, but that's good. I love when he gets crazy." She looked at the expression on her friends face. She wasn't sure if it was a happy one. "Hey hon, are you okay?"
Lorelai sighed. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just, I'm going to miss him you know."
"I do. The first time I left the kids with Jackson, that wasn't good. You just spend a few weeks alone with your kid and then you have to leave them with someone else. But at least you know that he's taking good care of Lucan right?"
"Yeah. How long does it take to get used to it?"
"A few days I guess."
Lorelai nodded. "Is Michel in yet? I need him to get me up to date with things."
"He's probably in your office."
"Good. I'll go see him then."
Lorelai turned around to walk away. Just before she reached the door, Sookie called. "Lorelai?"
"Yeah?" She turned around.
"I'm glad you're back."
"I'm glad to be back." Both women smiled and went to do their work.
Lorelai picked up Lucan at Luke's around 4. She had been there that day only a few minutes to drop off the milk. She wasn't sure if this was a good solution and knew she wouldn't be doing it for so long. Buying formula would be a lot easier. It was just that the baby was still so small and she thought the breast milk would be better for him, although in the back of her mind she knew that the formula would be just as good.
She had missed the baby all day. She knew the times he would wake up and listened to hear his crying. Of course, she couldn't. She found it hard to be at work again, and even felt guilty for leaving him. But it was also good to be at work again. It was a good day and she was able to get a lot of work done. Michel was happy to have her back so he was a little less busy. She promised him a vacation for doing such a great job all those months, and surprisingly he did it without complaining. She knew that secretly he loved that he was in charge, next to Sookie of course, and he was even a little disappointed that Lorelai was back.
When Lorelai entered the house, Rory was in the living room, with her laptop on her lap. She looked up from her screen when she heard someone walking in. "Hey mom. How was your day?"
"Good." She took of her coat and put the stroller on the side. She took the blanket off because he was wearing a coat, and it was to warm for both of it inside the house. After that she sat down next to her daughter. "What have you been doing all day?"
"I'm writing an essay about the architecture in London. I was working on it before I left London. Warren was helping me, but now I have to use the Internet to get my information."
"How is it coming?"
"Well, okay I guess. I'm not too happy about it though. I need more information. I'm thinking about going to New Haven tomorrow and see if we have some information in the library there."
"It must be weird to go back there."
"Well, yeah, kind off. It's been a long time since I've been there, but really I can't wait to go back. I missed my friends there and all. I actually had contact to my study counselor today and he thinks I can finish the program from Yale. Nobody did it before, and he says it will be hard because I'll miss the classes, but it's doable."
"Rory, I know we haven't really talked about it, but I think you should go back to finish the program there." Inside it hurt Lorelai to send her daughter away once more, but she knew it would only be for a month and a half so she would survive. "It's only a month and a half, and it would be a lot easier than doing it from here."
"I don't want to mom. I can't go back there. Grandma is still in the hospital. And I want to help out with Lucan. I can do it from here."
"I know you can. But you said so yourself, it won't be so easy without the classes. I know you're a brilliant student and I know you can do it, but what about Warren? Don't you miss him?"
"Of course I miss him mom. But…"
"It's only a few more weeks, and after that you're back here. Warren should find out about his programs some day soon, so maybe he can come here next year. And otherwise you can invite him here for the summer, so you at least can spend that together. I'm not telling you that you have to go, but it would be the right thing to do. You don't have to stay here for grandma. She will be in the hospital for a few more weeks, but she's going to be fine. It'll disappoint her if she finds out you're staying here because of her. She wouldn't want that and you know it. And about Lucan, we had this talk many times before. I know it's even harder now that you've seen him and have spent time with him. You know, I really wanted to go back to work, but on the inside it killed me to leave him with Luke today. I missed him like crazy you know."
"Then why don't you stay home for another two weeks? You have two more weeks left."
"Because it was the right thing to go back. I was driving myself crazy in here. You know how I get when I've got nothing to do. Have you looked at this place? It's clean, I moved every piece of furniture, and if I had stayed home one more day, I probably would have painted your room or something."
"Don't do that. I like it the way it is."
"I know. If I hadn't gone back to work today, I would have gone in two weeks, and I would have felt the same way. If you don't go to London, you're going back to Yale. You don't have a dorm this year so you have to drive from here to New Haven every day, what'll cost you a lot of time. When the next school year starts, you'll feel the same about leaving. You know you won't be home every weekend to see Lucan then. You would feel the same way as you feel about leaving now."
"You think?"
"I know. Again, I'm not forcing you to do anything, but I want you to think about it. And I mean, really think about it. Make a pro-con list and come up with the right thing to do. I trust you to make the right decision."
Rory nodded. "I guess I'm going to do that."
"I'm going upstairs to change okay? Luke's coming home with dinner around 5.30 and we're going to the hospital to visit grandma after that.
"Okay. I'll stay here with Lucan to make my list."
"Luke gave him a bottle around 3 and he was still awake when I picked him up around 4. He fell asleep when we were walking here so he won't be awake any time soon.
Rory still wasn't sure what to do when Luke came with dinner. There were as many pro's as there were con's so the list wasn't really any help. They ate and drove to the hospital after that. Emily was very talkative today. She could see the progress she made in her therapy, even though it wasn't a lot of progress at the time. She was going forward, although she knew she could fall back too. She changed a lot since the accident. She learned to live by the day and enjoy what she's got. She loves to have her family around her every day and even more than that, they weren't complaining about it. And she realized that was all she needed. She didn't need all the money in her bank account or her rich friends who did not even bother to show up yet. It was her family who she really needed, and only needed.
Lorelai her told about going back to work and was surprised to get an approving look from Emily. She was expecting disapproval for going back to work at all, and especially about going back to work early. When they were about to leave, Rory asked for a moment with her grandmother alone. Luke and Lorelai walked outside with Richard, saying goodbye to Emily.
"Grandma?"
"Yes?"
Rory looked at her grandmother and didn't know how to begin. "Just say it Rory."
"I was talking to my mother today and she said I should to go back to London to finish the program. But I can stay here to finish the program as well. It will be harder because I would miss all the classes, but I can do all the assignments from here, and go to Yale for the information I need. They have most of the books I need to do them."
"What do you want to do?"
"I don't know. Mom told me to make a pro and con list, but there weren't big results there. I was just wondering about your opinion."
"I don't want you to stay here for me. I know how important this program is and I can't tell you how much I appreciate that you came home for me, but I can't ask you to stay here just for me."
"It wouldn't be just for you. There's Lucan and Mom and Luke and Grandpa."
"And you have a boyfriend in London right? What was his name?"
"Warren."
"Right, Warren."
"It's only a few more weeks isn't it?"
"Yes. Six or seven."
"Then I think you should go. I don't want you to stay here because of me. You're not a girl that quits. You worked so hard to get into that program, and I can't tell you how proud I am. I want you to go back there and finish the program, for me."
Rory nodded. "If you think I should go, than that's what I'm going to do."
And that's what Rory did. She had to wait three days before she could get a ticket. She said goodbye to her friends and family one more time and Lorelai took her to the airport. It wasn't so hard anymore, because they both knew that it only took a little more than six weeks for her to come home for good, or at least for a long time. This time they didn't cry at the airport but they smiled. The women hugged each other and Lorelai kissed her daughters forehead. "You have no idea how proud I am of you Rory. I'm glad you decided to go."
"I'm glad myself too. It was hard to get myself to go, but now I'm here, I'm happy about the idea of going back."
"Good. And remember, you're back before you know it."
"I know. I'm still going to miss you though."
"I'm going to miss you too babe."
Rory smiled and hugged her mother again. At the same time they announced the boarding of her flight. "That's my flight, I've got to go."
"Okay. I love you hon."
"I love you too mom." Lorelai pulled her daughter close one final time before they let go and she watched her daughter walk away. She was going back, and she was glad.
This week she had experienced that going back was good, even with the changes. The second time she went to work she had taken Lucan with her. Michel wasn't to happy when the little boy cried for a solid 15 minutes and Lorelai couldn't stop him from crying. Michel had gotten so tired in the end that he had picked up the baby himself and somehow he had stopped. He looked at Michel with his big blue eyes and smiled. That was the moment that his heart was stolen. Nobody believed it when she told the story. Lorelai smiled at the thought and kept watching her daughter until she couldn't see her again. Then she turned around to go back home.