"So, what do you think Toshida-sensei is going to have us do today?"
Hotaru didn't turn to look, the words weren't addressed to her, but she did listen carefully for the answer. She didn't like PE much, and not just because she'd never been very good at it. There was something about it that always brought out the worst in people.
In English or Math, the worst she ever had to worry about was the occasional snide remark or whispered insult. PE on the other hand gave some people the perfect opportunity to express their, she mulled over the word for a moment, dislike.
"All right everybody, gather round." Toshida-sensei's words echoed through the gym as she strode in from the far side, carrying a basketball under each arm.
Hotaru smiled despite herself. She liked basketball, which might have seemed a little odd at first. However her Haruka-papa had always been a big fan, and one of her earliest memories was curling up beside the blonde and watching NBA until her Michiru-mama came in and told them both to get some sleep.
Even when she'd gotten older she'd still liked to watch. There was something almost magical about the players as they ducked and dodged and soared across the court. She wished she could do that, without having to become Saturn that is.
"Tomoe," Toshida-sensei's asked. "Can you play?"
As always a low murmur ran through the class as they waited to see whether or not she would say yes. For the most part, they were concerned, because they had all seen her collapse or faint at least once. Others, though, were more worried about whether or not she'd slow up the game, or worse still, get it called off.
"Yes."
"All right," Toshida-sensei said. "You girls get warmed up, I've got to finish a little paperwork and then we'll see if we can get some half-court started."
Hotaru found a small corner out of the way to do her stretches. Sometimes she wondered why she even bothered. She's always been quite flexible. It was stamina that had always been the problem, or rather, her lack of it.
Out of the corner of her eyes she watched the other girls. Sometimes she envied them, sometimes she hated them but most of the time she felt… apathetic. Yes, that was the right word, apathetic, just the sound of it in her mouth made her smile. Still, some of them were very nice. They'd share their notes in class and say hi when they saw each other between classes or out of school.
Some of the others just avoided her. She could see it in their eyes when they turned away. Freak. But she didn't mind them. Being alone never bothered her. No, what bothered her were the girls who wrote nasty things on her locker, or on the walls of bathrooms, or who waited till the teacher left the room before moving in on her.
"All right girls," Toshida-sensei reappeared from her office at the far side of the gym. "Let's get a game started."
X X X X
"Nice shot, Tomoe."
Hotaru turned and flashed Toshida-sensei a ghost of a smile. She might not be able to run, but she could shoot, and pretty well too. It might be because of all that practise with her Haruka-papa and Makoto, but she liked to think it came from her experience as a magical girl. Although, and she smiled at the thought, if that were the case then Usagi should have been absolutely fantastic with a Frisbee or baton.
Her musing were cut short when the next set of play started. It went well at first, and she was about to set herself for another shot when one of the other girls, Chihiro barrelled into her. The impact knocked her off her feet and onto her back and she felt pain shoot up her side. Above her she could see Chihiro's grinning face and hear Toshida-sensei's enraged call of "foul".
"What's the matter, Tomoe," Chihiro whispered with a grin as she bent to help Hotaru stand. "Can't get up?"
The rest of the game didn't go so well after that. Whenever Hotaru got the ball, Chihiro was always there. A little nudge here, a little kick of the foot there, and Hotaru found herself on the ground, more often than not.
It would have been easy for her to burst into tears after the game, but she wouldn't give Chihiro the satisfaction. Still, it was hard, very hard, not to cry when she heard the spectators murmuring to themselves.
Clumsy girl.
Loser.
By the time she got to the change room she felt… not angry… just… empty. As if everything inside of her was just gone. Is this what it feels like to give up, she wondered, to just stop caring?
Chihiro was waiting for her in the change rooms and she managed to get three or four steps before the other girl kicked her feet out from under her. She looked up into the other girl's eyes and felt that emptiness grow just a little bit bigger inside of her.
"What's the matter, Tomoe?" Chihiro taunted. "You just going to take it like a dog?"
Before Hotaru could get up, Chihiro kicked her. Hard. For a moment Hotaru's whole world went dark, before everything went the sweet, sweet red of blood and pain. But Chihiro didn't stop there. She kicked her again, and again and the last thing Hotaru heard were the screams of the other girls as they either ran for Toshida-sensei or pleaded with Chihiro to stop.
Darkness.
X X X X
"Ravelon!"
Something inside of her dies when she sees the soldier fall, a sword sticking out of his chest. They'd surprised him, stabbed him from behind because they'd never have been able to kill him otherwise. His own men and they'd betrayed him.
"Don't waste your breath girl," one of the other soldiers said. "He's not worth it."
She pulled away from the hands holding her back and ran over to Ravelon's side. The soldier was still alive somehow, his breath coming in short, gurgling rasps.
"Silence…"
She bent down, the tears already coursing down her cheeks and tried to stop the blood pouring out of his chest.
"Don't…" he whispered, as he caught one of her hands in his. "Just… just run."
"Run…?" he was dying and her just wanted her to leave him. "What do you mean?"
"They'll kill you too," he said. "They'll kill you…"
"No," she whispered as he fell silent, the light already fading from his eyes. "No…"
"You should have listened to him," one of the other soldiers said with a cold, cold smile. "We can't have any witnesses, now can we?"
Trembling she backed away from Ravelon's body and tripped over his sword. Her hands shook as she lifted the blade and turned it towards the other soldiers.
"You know how to use that girl?"
She swallowed a sob and lifted the sword a little higher. Ever since that day he'd found her, Ravelon had looked out for her. He'd taught her everything he knew, even how to use a sword, and she was grateful for that now.
But somehow she couldn't seem to focus, couldn't seem to take her eyes off his body. She kept hearing his voice in her head, telling her to run, to get out of there. But she couldn't, she couldn't. They killed him and they couldn't just be allowed to get away with it.
Her tears slowed and finally stopped as emptiness filled her. Ravelon had told her about this. The emptiness that comes with experience, that lets a man kill and kill and kill and yet never feel a thing until afterwards. She embraced it and let it fill every corner of her soul.
Deep inside she felt something else as well, something she hadn't felt for a long time. It was the silken touch of death, rustling like fabric against her skin. In the past it had told her who was going to die, but now, now it whispered in her ears to take matters into her own hands.
No, she thought fiercely, I won't… I… and she remembered Ravelon's words about never killing out of anger and yet… yet the voice was so familiar and something hot and cold at the same time filled her veins, like frozen star fire.
No…
"Kill her."
A sword whistled through the air towards her head and she felt her own blade shudder painfully in her hands as she blocked the strike.
Use me… the voice in her head whispered… use me…
No…
"Kill her!"
Another blow, another strike and she cried out as a sword cut into the flesh of her thigh. Still she defended, stumbling backwards as the voice inside her head screamed louder and louder.
Use me… use me…
"No!" she screamed dropping her sword and grabbing her head. "No!"
She barely heard the laughter of the other soldiers as they surrounded her. All she could hear was the voice in her head screaming and screaming for release. She'd heard it before, whispering to her in her dreams, and when she was younger she'd heard it telling her who would die but she'd never heard it like this… never imagined it could be like this.
They killed him… it whispered… make them pay… use me… use me…
"No,"
she whispered sobbing. "No…"
They'll kill you and the no one will ever know what they did… no one will care… no one… use me… set the wrong things right…
Images flashed through her mind of all the kindness that Ravelon had shown her. It was wrong for him to die like that, wrong for him to be betrayed by his own men, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong…
"Kill her."
Use me…
No…
Yes.
Violet… black… silence… death.
Violet light erupted from her skin, sheathing her in writhing strands of purple radiance as her hands clenched into fists. Gone was the fear in her eyes, gone was the sorrow, all that was left was emptiness.
"You're dead." She whispered the words without emotion, felt nothing except for the glorious strength thundering through her veins.
The soldier nearest to her died in an explosion of gore as strands of violet power lashed into his body and tore him apart. As the others scattered, suddenly afraid, she followed. She caught one by the arm and turned him to face her before she smashed his face in. She tossed the body aside and moved onto the next, streamers of energy cleaving through any of the soldiers foolish enough to stand and fight instead of run.
She caught up with the rest of them not far away. The ribbons of power shimmered and died and she stood, facing them, her face devoid of any emotion. Slowly she began to walk forward.
Why had she never seen it before, she wondered. They were weak. In her eyes she could see every flaw, every hint of frailty in their bodies. They were flesh and bone, and she could destroy that, she could rip and tear and kill. And so she did.
She glided beneath one sword slash and her palm whipped up. The man's face collapsed in on itself as she kicked his knees, shattering them both before crushing his throat. Terrified the others rushed her all at once and everything else dropped away as she ducked and weaved and killed and killed and killed.
And then… and then it all just stopped…
The voice in her head… the power…
Everything…
Just gone…
She dropped to her knees and looked around her, as if only now realising what she had done. Her stomach clenched and she was violently sick. She'd killed them, she killed them all and worse she'd liked it.
"Ravelon," she whispered as she crawled past the mangled bodies of the other soldiers and over to the only person who'd ever given a damn about her. "What have I done?"
But only the silence answered and it whispered in her mind, softly and quietly. Murderer.
X X X X
Hotaru's eyes fluttered open in time to see Chihiro raise her foot for another kick. In a moment everything became crystal clear. She would not be able to avoid the kick so instead she curled her body, throwing herself onto the foot to absorb the impact.
For a moment the other girl looked surprised but Hotaru merely met her gaze, her own eyes empty, and threw her weight violently to one side. Chihiro's ankle snapped like a twig and Hotaru was on top of her before she could even scream.
Before she knew what she was doing her fist smashed into the other girl's face and Chihiro let out a high, terrified wail, which turned into a bloody gurgle as Hotaru hit her again and again and again.
To Hotaru, the silence was deafening. She could see the other girls screaming, could see their mouths open and close and she could feel the dull thump of her knuckles on Chihiro's face. But all she could hear in her head was silence.
She saw the light begin to fade from Chihiro's eyes and she heard the silence screaming louder and louder for her to finish it. Slowly she raised one hand and prepared to bring it down, not on the face, but on the throat. It would be so easy.
And then it hit her, the enormity of what she'd done and she looked at her hands. They were covered with blood. Chihiro's blood.
No… she thought as she stumbled off the other girl… no… no…
"No!" The scream is torn from her throat.
And in her head the silence laughed. Got you, it said. Again.
X X X X
Author's Notes
Well, that was… odd. Those of you who have read Requiem might be more than a little disturbed by the changes in this chapter. On the other hand, I think it makes a great deal more sense. I wanted to give more of Saturn's background and I think Ravelon has let me do that. He would have been introduced eventually, but by introducing him earlier, I think the story is better served. And don't worry, if it seems like he just came in and died, don't be too concerned, I will be filling in the blanks about him and Silence in later chapters.
As always, let me say how nice feedback is. Please, do tell me what you think, because, believe it or not, I really do read all of your reviews. If any of you have any questions, or suggestions, just drop me a line.
And by the way, Requiem is, officially dead in its current form. Long live Redux.