Aurora Whisperwind: Hi people! I didn't get a lot of reviews, but the ones I got were so heart-warming, I feel so blessed…… Chapter 4, coming up! More Saitoh and Kenshin bashing…

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or any of its characters. I also do not own 'A Christmas Carol' by Charles Dickens. Thank you.

A pissed off looking Saitoh steps into the break room. Okita's floating around eating ghost popcorn.

Okita: Hi Saitoh-san! You're early!

Saitoh: (Fiddling with a light bulb, trying to make it work) Shut up, ahou.

Okita: You're as pleasant as ever, I see. Anyway, I was watching some of our previous scenes, and I noticed that the Authoress spelt 'Bakumatsu' wrong. Why didn't you correct her?

Saitoh: Oh, in that case it was the 'Bakamatsu'. See, that's why I'm alive and you're dead. 'The end of idiots' indeed.

Before Okita can reply, the door opens again. Kenshin comes prancing in, a very inebriated Kenshin, fresh from washing the entire unit's laundry.

Kenshin: Hello Saitoh, Okita! Isn't it a wonderful day? The sun's out and I found some wonderful flowers to arrange in the break room, see? (Producing a big bunch of daffodils) See how fresh they look? They remind me of the sun!

(Prances away again, singing 'A whole new world')

Okita: oO

Saitoh: Okay, maybe not all the idiots were taken care of….

Kenshin finishes up with his flowers, turns and spots Saitoh and Okita staring at him. He blinks, like he's just realized they were there.

Kenshin: Saitoh-san, I was looking all over for you!

Saitoh: Why do I feel nervous?

Okita: Maybe, because he called you Saitoh-san? Or that suspiciously starry look in his eyes? If I were you, I'd run….

Saitoh: (Backing away from a hyperactive Kenshin) Good point.

Kenshin: Wait, where are you going? I still haven't washed your clothes! Come back!

Saitoh: WHAT? BUT I'M WEARING THEM!

Kenshin: Surrender them! Muhuhahahahahahahahahaha! You can't escape!

Starts running after Saitoh, catches him after a short chase, and is about to rip his clothes off when the door opens again and the Authoress, Sano, Aoshi and Yahiko walk in.

Yahiko + Authoress: AAARGH! MY EYES! MY EYES! HENTAI! (Run off)

Aoshi: --

Sano: (Just stands there, grinning stupidly)

A long time later….

The light bulb flickers on magically. At that precise moment….

Sano: Oh my god! You two! You have something going on!

Crickets chirp. Anyway…

Scene 4!

Music: An ominous strain. Up and fade out under…

Narrator#4: As Saitoh stares in frightened silence (Saitoh yawns); the wraithlike figure of his deceased partner dissolves into space. Then, exhausted by the ordeal, Saitoh drops off to sleep. Twelve o' clock comes. Time passes. Then…

Sound: Off in the distance, a steeple clock strikes once.

Narrator#4: The curtains of Saitoh's bed are drawn aside, but by no visible hand. There by the bed stands an unearthly visitor….a strange figure- like a child. (Mutters) Yeah right, a ghost that looks like a child, like we don't know who it is…. (Back to normal tone) his hair is a bluish violet and long. And in his hand he holds a red rose. Saitoh stares and then speaks.

Saitoh: What's with the rose, Okita?

Okita: Hey that's not your line! And how'd you know it was me?

Saitoh: The flower was a dead give away.

Authoress: CUT! SAITOH, WHAT PART OF 'DON'T INTERRUPT' DO YOU NOT GET?

Saitoh: What kind of zilch budget are we working on?

Authoress: That's it, you're not getting paid.

Saitoh: I was getting paid?

Scene 4, take 2!

Narrator#4: The curtains of Saitoh's bed are drawn aside, but by no visible hand. There by the bed stands an unearthly visitor….a strange figure- like a child. His hair is a bluish violet and long. And in his hand he holds a red rose. Saitoh stares and then speaks.

Saitoh: Are you the spirit whose coming was told to me by Okita Souji?

First Ghost (a.k.a Okita): I am.

Saitoh: (looking extremely bored) who and what are you?

First Ghost: I am the ghost of Tanabata past.

Saitoh: Long past?

First Ghost: No, your past. Rise and walk with me.

Saitoh: Where?

First Ghost: Out through the window.

Saitoh: We are three storeys above ground, ahou. You'll fall.

First Ghost: Saitoh-san, I'm a ghost. I'll float.

Authoress: Please Saitoh, I'm begging you….

Saitoh: You are? Okay then, let me see….

Authoress: Oh Tokio, guess what Saitoh was saying about you just now…

Scene 4, take 3!

First Ghost: Out through the window.

Saitoh: (with a black eye) But we are three storeys above ground, I am only a mortal.

First Ghost: Bear but a touch of my hand upon your heart, and you shall be upheld in more than this.

Saitoh: What are we to do?

First Ghost: I am going to help melt your stony heart. Come! Walk with me out into the night….into the past.

Sound: Wind. It sweeps in; holds and then fades out.

Saitoh: Tell me, ghost of Tanabata past, where are we?

First Ghost: Look down, Hajime, and remember.

Saitoh: The river…the meadows and- why there's my old home. (whispering) Stop calling me Hajime.

First Ghost: It is Tanabata day. Let's look into this porch. (in a low voice) I can't help it, that's what's written in the script.

Saitoh: Uh, look at those shameless morons making out! In front of a child, that too! Ahous!

First Ghost: Do you recognize him?

Saitoh: Course I do. That's me.

First Ghost: Let's hear what he says.

Chibi-Saitoh: Uh, look at those shameless morons making out! In front of a child, that too! Ahous!

Saitoh: (smiles)

First Ghost: You haven't changed.

Saitoh: Nope.

First Ghost: That's not the point here. (sighs) I lose. Let's fast-forward.

Sound: Wind. It sweeps in; holds and then fades out.

First Ghost: The years have passed. Look at the garden below, look- there sits a young girl, a beautiful girl.

Saitoh: (Looks terrified) it's Kameko.

First Ghost: There, you're entering the garden. You're a young man now, a young man in your prime. Only now, your face begins to show the first signs of a slasher. There is a restless, wolfish look in your eyes. She looks delighted to see you. Let's see what she's saying to you.

Saitoh: Brrrrrrrrrr………..

Kameko: It matters very little to you, Hajime. You have another ideal, another goal. You hold your principle 'Aku Zoku Zan' above all else, even me. You wish to free yourself from marrying me.

Young Saitoh: Ah, yes the last point is true. But there are a few things I want to clear up with you. One, stop calling me Hajime. Two, anything on this planet is more important to me than you. And I never said I'd marry you and I never will, so give up already.

Kameko: (Takes out whip) NO WAY! I'M MARRYING YOU THIS SECOND!

Young Saitoh: You evil witch!

Kameko: YES INDEED! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME! MUHUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Young Saitoh: (Sighs) Oh well, I really didn't want to do this but, 'Aku Zoku Zan'! (Gatotsues her)

First Ghost: WOO HOO! GO SAITOH-SAN! YOU SURE SHOWED THAT BITCH! I MEAN….

Authoress: (Sighs) Cut!

Scene 4, take 4!

Young Saitoh: (Sighs) Oh well, I really didn't want to do this but, 'Aku Zoku Zan'! (Gatotsues her)

Saitoh: spirit, show me no more…

First Ghost: You had a chance, Hajime. You had a chance to be ensnared, yet you did not take it. Do you not regret it?

Saitoh: Not one little bit.

First Ghost: I see I've lost. Let's go back.

Music: Ghostly theme. Up and fade under….

Okita: Jeez, how did you know that insane girl?

Saitoh: Oh, you don't wanna know….

Authoress: She's scary….

Kenshin: (Huddling in a corner oroing softly)

Aurora Whisperwind: It's not as funny, but it's the best I could come up with, as not much of Saitoh's childhood is known…But I swear, the next chapter will be funny! Anyway, what next? Saitoh beat the first ghost; will the ghost of Tanabata present soften his stone cold heart? The first part was something I just couldn't resist adding, after Rurouni-maxi corrected my spelling (Thanks!)…

Reviewer replies:

Lolo popoki: Aaaawwww that was such a sweet review! This one feels so loved!

Rurouni-maxi: 'The end of idiots'? God, that was so embarrassing! (Giggles) Anyway, do you like the way I manipulated it? It's PMK Okita, by the way.

Charmed wolf: Hey you reviewed again! And yes, poor Saitoh…

Jasmine Reinier: Thanks for reviewing again. And your image of Saitoh was much more disturbing than the one I conjured up, Brrrrrrrrrr….. Anyway, please keep reading! I hope you enjoy the rest of this!

Jester-chan: Hi! Yes,I love Okita too! Isn't he just adorable...

Read and review, please!