WINTER WONDERLAND
By NotTasha
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CHAPTER 3: SHOTGUN ON A TAUN-TAUN

The great hall stayed warm during the night. Several times, Sheppard had been awakened as someone leaned over him to keep the fire burning. The major would open his eyes enough to see one of the residents feed the big stove with 'blossum'. They'd move quickly and quietly and disappear again into their holes. It made sense now, why none of the little rooms had doors to close them off. The big stove at the center of the complex was the only heat available – and it kept the whole place nicely warmed.

He glanced about at his people as they slept. McKay, apparently, was wrong for a change and seemed to sleep like a log. Teyla stayed wrapped in furs as if she couldn't get warm – but both McKay and Ford seemed overheated, too near the heat source, and were sprawled out on top of the furs. Maybe there was wisdom in sleeping in the nude here, Sheppard thought, as he too slept on top of the furs. Of course, he thanked any god that would listen that nobody on his team considered the possibility of sleeping without any clothing. Well – Teyla wouldn't have been bad, but she was too wrapped up to make a difference.

He slipped in and out of sleep – never completely at ease in a situation like this. His P90 stayed near him, as if he expected some sort of attack in this calm place. But there was nothing here to worry about -- it was as Teyla insisted -- the Ekukians were peaceful people who were mostly left alone by the Wraith.

Probably too damn cold for the Wraith, Sheppard thought. They seem like the type of aliens who like things nice and warm. Probably too much trouble trying to get the Ekukians out of their holes. He could imagine their frustration.

That still didn't mean that Rodney should be running around in that damn red parka! After the tapa hunt, they'd work out the trade – get rid of the ridiculous thing once and for all. Sheppard smiled, imaging McKay's indignation at losing the jacket. Get rid of the damn sweater and the stupid hat, too -- the scarf as well. Did McKay have any idea how ridiculous he looked? If the Ekukians didn't want the stuff – he'd see that it was disposed in some permanent way.

The genius would have to go back to Atlantis wrapped up in some of Akhiok's favorite furs. The image of McKay striding into the Gateroom -- decked out like Nanook of the North – made Sheppard smile as he fell asleep again.

Suddenly, someone decided it was morning. The quiet halls came alive as the womenfolk shuffled out of their rooms to light the lanterns and stoke the fire. Then, they began the preparation of the morning meal.

Teyla managed to sit up, yet stayed huddled under her blanket, looking miserable. McKay stretched and groaned, saying, "See! See! I didn't sleep a wink!"

The men appeared, and everyone gorged on a breakfast of porridge – and then, in groups, the men threw on their furs and disappeared through the doorway. "Remain here," Akhiok told the guests. "We will call for you when we are ready for you."

Sheppard watched the last of the men leave, feeling a bit 'off' by just sitting around doing nothing. But, if this was what their hosts wanted – he'd do as asked.

Pulling on his boots, Ford asked, "We're really going to go with them to hunt those big monster things?"

"Yup," John responded. "It'd only be right."

"I have serious reservations about that," McKay input. "Honestly, I don't think I should be involved. First off, after that miserable night's sleep, I don't think I'm up to it. Secondly, I'm not much good at… you know… spearing giant elephant creatures."

"Won't know until you try," Sheppard said with a smile. "You're a good shot with the 9mm," John commended, knowing that Rodney took some pride in his accuracy – as he took pride in everything he did to perfection. "Bet you can handle a spear just fine."

The praise made Rodney lift an eyebrow.

John nodded in thanks as one of the women brought him a steaming cup of … something. He sniffed at it, not sure what to make of the heady odor. Hopefully it wasn't made out of the same stuff that stoked the fire. He tried a sip and found it almost drinkable. Still, it made his tongue shrivel a bit.

McKay muttered, "You can't honestly expect me to join in a hunt?" He was handed a cup as well, and looked anxiously at the woman who brought it. "Coffee?" he asked, and then tried, "Café? java, joe?" He pointed at the contents intensely.

She smiled and said, "Kepke," as she handed another to Ford.

"Any of that… tapa blossom in here?" Sheppard asked hesitantly.

All of the women within hearing distance broke off in laughter – and twittered among those that hadn't heard. McKay looked at his mug in revulsion.

Laughing still, one of the women explained. "It's tea. Made from leaves gathered in the summer. No tapa." And they all laughed again. She added, "It is good for you. Will build up your bones."

"Big bones," McKay muttered, sniffing it, then taking a tentative sip. "Just what I need."

Teyla took her mug when it was offered and brought it in under the blanket with her, holding it close to her face.

"Anyway," McKay continued. "It would probably be best if I remain here. I wouldn't want to get hurt in and everyone realizes that it would be a horrible loss to everyone in Atlantis if something were to happen to me."

"Our hosts have asked us along," Sheppard said evenly. "It's only polite to accept their offer. I think Atlantis could handle that."

Making a face, McKay stated, "I don't think I'm athletic enough to keep up."

"You'll manage," Sheppard responded, taking a sip of the brew. It wasn't half-bad, he decided, once you got over the earthy smell.

"Really, I'd rather not have to kill something," McKay said in a rush, he set the mug down to gesture. "I have issues with killing other living creatures. I take exception with the wraith because they're so damn creepy, and somehow I don't think of them as 'living' in the general sense. They're not like us. I mean, not living like you and me, or Ford or Teyla here, you know?" He gestured to the other two. Ford chuckled at the inclusion and Teyla just winced, huddling further into her blankets. "Okay, and those bug creatures. I'd be okay with killing those. Bugs, I don't need, you know? Bugs can die."

John made a face at the mention of the bugs. Yeah, he had to agree with Rodney on that one.

McKay continued, "Spider especially – not that they're technically 'bugs' – they're arachnids."

"McKay," Sheppard groaned.

"I just can't see myself running up to one of those giant creatures, saying, 'how-de-do,' and then jabbing a stick through his heart."

"You'll manage," Sheppard repeated.

"What if I get blood on my parka? You know isn't coming out!"

With a shrug, Sheppard told him. "It wouldn't show up with all that red." Taking another draught, he gazed toward Teyla. "You okay?"

"I am fine," Teyla answered succinctly.

"You sure?" John continued. "'Cause you don't look so good."

"I assure you, Major, I am well," Teyla responded, smiling tightly. She continued to hold the mug close to her face, breathing in the steam, but not drinking from it.

"What? Is she sick?" McKay asked, alarmed. He scooted a few inches from her. "Because I am very susceptible to catching colds. I mean, if anyone in the lab sneezes…" he snapped his fingers. "I'm the next one to catch it. Just like that."

Sheppard leaned close to the Athosian, taking in her pale features. "I'm thinkin' you should stay behind, Teyla," he said softly.

"Ah, yes, excellent idea," McKay commented, picking up his mug to take a drink. He grimaced as he got a good taste of the liquid, and then choked rather dramatically. He rapped a fist against his chest as he continued magnanimously, "I'll stay with her. Keep an eye on our young lady and ensure that she takes care of herself."

"That is unnecessary," Teyla said darkly, narrowing her eyes at the Canadian. "I assure you."

"You're staying here," Sheppard insisted, pointing a finger at the platform that had formed their bed. He turned to McKay and added, "But you're coming with us." Rodney's grin fell. Sheppard added with a glance to the Athosian, "I'm sure some time 'alone' will make you feel better in no time."

And that made the ailing Athosian smile.

There was a bustle at the doorway and suddenly Akhiok and Karluk shuffled in, all dusted with snow. "Come, come!" Akhiok encouraged. "Our rides are ready. The others have already gone ahead of us."

With a pained sigh, McKay was dragged to his feet and ushered toward the door by the major. Ford followed. At the doorway, they quickly suited up while Akhiok and Karluk continued through to the outdoors.

Sheppard muttered when he saw Rodney putting on that awful jacket.

"What?" McKay responded to the unhappy sound.

"Really should have left that one at home," John declared.

"And how is this so much worse than the beige one?" McKay spouted resentfully as he plucked at the lined collar. "Honestly, that one was just as obvious when we were walking through a forest."

"We're not in a forest, McKay," Sheppard grumbled. "We'll be in snow -- white snow. Beige would have blended in a little better. You look like a giant RED cranberry!"

McKay scowled. "Okay then. I shouldn't be going," he declared flatly.

"McKay, you're coming," Sheppard responded abruptly. "You're not getting out of this!"

In a huff, McKay zipped up his parka. "Fine. Great. So you have no right to make me the butt of your jokes if I fall on my face while trying to chase down one of these things. Probably fall on my ass."

The major smiled broadly as he readied himself for the cold. "Oh, I didn't say we wouldn't laugh…"

Ford cut in with, "What do you think he meant by… 'our rides are ready'?"

"You don't know what 'ride' means?" McKay shot back.

Ford grumbled and shook his head as he secured his jacket. "You think we're gonna be on horses or something?" He looked between the two men. "Or maybe something like those kangaroo things in Star Wars… back when the movies were good?"

McKay chuckled. "Ah, "Empire Strikes Back" – great movie. The best of the series. Well, unless you remember Leia's slave-girl outfit in "Return of the Jedi." He paused a moment, letting out a sigh. "I haven't had a chance to check out any of the new ones. The last of them must have been released by now." He pulled on his gloves. "Funny what you miss out on, being away from earth, huh?" He looked melancholy at that thought, then grew apprehensive. "You think we'll have to ride something like those taun-tauns from the ice planet Hoth? Okay, I'm definitely out of this! No way! No how! I am not going to be riding on any unnatural animals! My back isn't up to that sort of abuse!" And he tried to remove his gloves in a flourish, but couldn't get a grip on them.

Floundering with his attempt to get out of his gloves, McKay had no protection against Sheppard who shoved him through the first layer of cloth doors and into the small chamber that kept them from the outside. McKay hopped for a moment in the dark room to catch his balance. "I don't appreciate…"

"We're going," Sheppard insisted, "I don't care if we're ridin' tigers or alpacas or big fluffy rabbits. We're going!"

"No," McKay snapped back. And then a roar filled the air. Rodney cringed, moving back toward the inner door as the noise continued.

Sheppard smiled as the sound become a purr, and pushed back the outer curtain to grin at the sight that met him.

"Halooo!" Akhiok greeted from his seat on what appeared to be a snowmobile. Beside him, Karluk was finishing filling his own machine with fuel. The bottle looked curiously similar to the one they'd imbibed from the pervious night. "Are you ready?" their host asked.

Sheppard glanced to McKay, noting that the reticence had been replaced with a look of childlike eagerness. Ford, stepping past them, shouted, "Shotgun!" as he sprinted toward the nearest of the machines. Sheppard went after.

TBC