just a couple of things that've been walking after me, hope you enjoy it. No, I don't own the X-Men...
Sitting on the porch and drinking God only knows which coffee I desperately tried not to fall asleep. The dreams that haunted me and brought me here were slowly fading. Not that I ever could recall them entirely, not that I actually tried all that hard. I hate sleep. Maybe not sleep, I hate to dream, with the dreadful thought of death lingering just behind it. Some say that death's just a dreamless sleep, bull shit; been there, done that. Death sucked, big time. Okay, maybe I haven't entirely been there but close enough to know not to fear it, just plainly hate it.
Clutching my mug I looked up to the sky, seeking the familiar Orion and Northern Star for peace. At least they're still there. When everything changes the Orion's still there. I smiled at the though. It sometimes amazes me how a star being so far away still gives me the peace I seek.
Slowly taking a sip I wonder what's happened to me. How could I end up here, not entirely hating my life, just not being really good at it. Yeah, the whole skin issue might have a part in it, but still... I had everything I have ever dreamt of and still I felt an emptiness in the pit of my stomach.
Life - it always mesmerizes me to see how people fight for it. How we, the X-Men, fight for it each and every day as if we actually are able to change a damn thing. I used to believe that someday a knight in shining armour will come and rescue me from the dragon haunting my God forsaken tower but right now I knew that that isn't going to happen. My knight was gone, looking for an answer to hell knows what question. His armour has never been that of silver, his fight never had been close to that filled with heroic morality. He was covered in dust and blood and if you looked really hard you could make out the wariness in his eyes. The shadows under his eyes hidden by the healing factor.
- "Logan" – the single name giving me the peace of mind I sought here every night. He wasn't a knight, never will be nor has been, yet still, his presence gave me that, which I could never find in fairy tales – he'll be there when I'll die. We won't live happily ever after, there was no time for that, not any more. The thought somewhat comforted me. As the man of my dreams walked so deep in the shadows that he was almost one himself. And I knew that when I'll need help he'll be there and if I ever manage to actually fall asleep and dream the dreams I dread so much he'll be there. Until then the only thing there is to soothe me is coffee.
- "Logan" – barely a whisper. I stood up knowing he won't come back neither today nor tomorrow. There isn't much point in waiting, I knew it, still he was the only one who could cage the demons fighting to be freed each night as they were his...