A/N: Surprise ;) I wrote this chapter in the airplane 2 weeks ago. Can't believe it's that long already, time's going so fast when you're having fun! When I was in New York I could check my email only for a 30 minutes in the public library. Just enough time to email my parents how things were doing and the same with some friends but that was it. So from New York I traveled to family in Canada and there I have more internet time. I typed out the chapter and send it to LorelaiAkaCoffeeAddict who of course proofread. Thanks for that hon!
Chapter 39 Logical explanations
It was 4 a.m. when Lucan woke up both Luke and Lorelai. While Luke stood up to heat up a bottle, Lorelai went to get the baby. They tried to work fast, not knowing how sound proof the walls were and not wanting to repeat the events of the previous day. Lorelai put Lucan on their bed and changed his diaper. While Luke was waiting for the bottle to get warm, he watched Lorelai. It took her a while before she noticed.
"What are you looking at?"
"You."
"Why?"
" 'Cause I like the view."
"Me, at four o'clock in the morning, changing a dirty diaper?"
"Yeah."
She shook her head. " Why?"
" 'Cause I like the view."
"Me, at four o'clock in the morning, changing a dirty diaper?" She asked him again in disbelieve.
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"Lorelai." Luke sighed.
"I don't get it, really. Why would you like that?"
"I like watching you no matter what time it is and what you are doing. Plus, you're most beautiful when you just woke up."
"So, then why do I spend hours in the bathroom getting ready whenever we go out, if you prefer me in my night clothes, my hair messed up, no make-up on?"
"Don't know, maybe because you don't want to go out like that and feel like you should be in the bathroom for what seems like forever?"
"Hey!" She turned around and hit him playfully on the chest.
"Hey." He cried.
"Isn't that bottle ready yet? Our son is hungry and I want to go back to sleep."
"I think so." He turned around and walked towards the bottle heater. He took out the bottle and checked the temperature. " It's perfect." He walked back to the bed and handed the bottle to Lorelai who had Lucan in her arms, sitting up against the headboard.
"Thanks." She put the nipple into the baby's mouth and he started sucking happily. They watched their son drinking in silence. When Lucan spit out a little bit of milk, Lorelai suddenly handed Luke the baby and ran towards the bathroom. First he thought it was to get a towel or something but soon her heard her throw up. He wanted to go after her but he had to keep feeding Lucan. He expected her to come back but she didn't. As soon as Lucan had finished his bottle and Luke had gotten him to burb, he laid him in his crib so he could check up on Lorelai.
He found her sitting on the bathroom floor next to the toilet, tears running down her cheeks. He rushed towards her and sat down next to her on the floor. " What's wrong?"
"I…. Uhm…." It was hard for her to talk while she was crying, plus, she had no idea what to say anyway.
Luke noticed this and pulled her close. " It's okay," he whispered, stroking her hair while he kept holding her. After a while she calmed down and pulled away.
"Are you okay to go back to bed?"
"I think so."
Luke stood up and helped Lorelai up as well. Together they walked back towards the bed. While they were laying down, Lorelai laid her head on Luke's chest, looking up at him "Hi."
"Hi." He whiped a few hairs out of her face. "You ready to tell me what just happened?"
"Not really."
"Oh…"
"It's just… I've been feeling kind of weird the last few days you know."
"Like what?"
"Like…. I totally overreacted on the airplane the other day, over the Rory situation. And in the restaurant I was standing up for me and Lucan at first, but then I just got scared you know?"
"Maybe you're just a little tired. We've been working like crazy the past few weeks."
"I know. That's what Rory said. But I was thinking that maybe… and now I'm throwing up so…"
"Maybe what?" He was concerned and had no idea where she was talking about.
"Never mind." She turned her head away, which he softly turned back towards him.
"Talk to me Lorelai."
She shook her head as she whispered. "That maybe I'm pregnant again." She closed her eyes, afraid to see his reaction.
"What?" His voice was soft.
Opening her eyes again she said: "I was feeling like this when I was pregnant with Rory and Lucan. I know it's fast, Lucan's not even four months old yet."
"But we hardly, you know. And we were safe."
"Once is enough Luke, and I thought I was safe before and the result is asleep in the crib over there." She sighed. "I'm so sorry, Luke."
"Don't be."
"But we never talked about this. We're having enough trouble taking care of one baby. Lucan will hardly be a year when the next one will be born, if I'm pregnant. We hardly have any time for each other now, how will it be if we have two little kids? Plus, after Lucan was born I promised myself that if there would ever be a next time, I would do it right. You know, plan it. And…"
At this point Luke put a finger on her lips to silence her, knowing she could ramble on forever. "It doesn't matter Lorelai. We will love this kid as much as the others and we will make it work, the five of us together. Maybe it will be a little difficult sometimes to have two small kids to take care of, but think of the benefits. When they are a little older, they can play together. They can grow up together. And even though we haven't planned this, I always thought we would get at least one more kid after Lucan."
"You did?"
"When you were pregnant with him, I thought about what it would be like for us as a family and I pictured you and Rory and two kids, a boy and a girl. But if this is a boy as well, that will be great too."
"That's amazing Luke. I didn't know you thought about stuff like that."
"You didn't? I always did Lorelai. Remember the dance marathon? When you asked me if I ever wanted kids and I said there would be a discussion if I met the right person?"
"Yeah."
"Even back then I knew that if I ever would have a kid, it had to be with you."
"Wow…. I don't know what to say."
"Don't say anything. You're the right person for me Lorelai."
"You're the right person for me too."
"Good." He smiled and leaned in to kiss her.
"So, we need to find out for sure. I mean, we're assuming I'm pregnant now, but we don't know that for sure."
"I'm sure they sell pregnancy tests here as well, we can always go to doctor Elder once we're back home, just to be sure."
"I like that." She smiled and yawned.
"Come on, let's get some sleep first." He lifted his arm so she could snuggle up close to him.
When Lorelai woke up again a few hours later she felt nauseous again. She ran towards the bathroom and it wasn't until she walked back to the bed that she noticed that Luke was gone. She looked into the crib and noticed Lucan still there, asleep. She wandered around the room in search for a note but she didn't find any. She decided to go back to bed but even before she lay down, she felt the nausea hitting again. She decided to stay in the bathroom and that's where Luke found her about fifteen minutes later.
"Hey, feeling sick again?"
"No, the shower is broken so I decided to wash my hair in the toilet." Sarcasm was obvious in her voice. "Where were you?"
"I went out to get breakfast and buy this." He handed her a paper bag.
Lorelai opened it curiously. "A pregnancy test."
"Thought we might as well get it over with. You know how it works?"
"If they are anything like the ones we have at home I'd say so." She opened the box and took the stick out. Then she took out the instructions and started reading.
"Why are you reading that if you say you know how it works?"
"Because I have to know for sure how long we have to wait and what kind of line we're expecting to see."
"Okay, and?"
"Five minutes and two pink lines for positive, one for negative."
"And positive means you're pregnant right?"
"I don't know, I just…. So now what?"
"Now I have to pee on the stick."
"Oh, did you hear Lucan, I think I better… you know..."
"Go, I'll tell you when I'm done."
Lorelai walked into the bedroom area a minute later, carrying the stick in her hand. Luke was sitting on the bed, waiting for her. She laid the stick on the desk and sat down next to him.
"So, now what?"
"Now we have to wait."
Luke checked his watch. "Five minutes, right?"
Lorelai nodded, sighing. " Five minutes and our lives could have change forever, again."
Luke responded by kissing her. They were interrupted by Lorelai's cell phone going off. She answered. "Hello?"
"Mom? I didn't wake you did I?"
"No, I've been up for a while and so is Luke. How are you doing?"
"Not perfect. It turns out that the meat we were eating in the cafeteria yesterday was two days old. I've been throwing up since around three o'clock and so are half the people in here. I just called to warn you that if you have the same symptoms, you might want to go to the pharmacy to get some stomach medicine for light food poisoning."
"Ok thanks."
"So have you?"
"Have I what?"
"Been throwing up?"
"Once or twice, yes."
"Sorry mom. I've been eating there all year and it never happened before, not once."
"It's okay kid. You think you're still able to finish that paper today?"
"Think so. I'll call you later to see how you're doing okay?"
"We might want to postpone that dinner date, depending on how we're feeling later today."
Luke checked his watch and stood up, walking towards the stick, distracting Lorelai.
"Mom? Okay?"
"Yeah fine. Later." She shut her phone and looked at Luke expectantly. " And?"
"Two lines for positive, one line for negative right?"
"Yeah, so what is it?"
"Negative, I'm sorry."
Her face turned sad instantly. "It's better this way right? We can wait a few months till Lucan's a little older. We can really plan it this time." She tried to be strong but her true feelings were easily revealed to Luke. He sat down next to her on the bed.
"I don't know. It would have been nice if it was positive."
"Maybe…" Her bottom lip started to quiver. "Yes."
He pulled her close to him. "I'm so sorry, Lorelai." He knew that even though she freaked out earlier, she was secretly thrilled. He knew he was.
"I really wanted this kid Luke." She stared sobbing. "I know that I freaked out first but I had a dream and I pictured her." She sobbed even harder now.
He pulled her even closer as he said, "Maybe the test is wrong. You do have the symptoms, like throwing up."
She shook her head. "No, it's light food poisoning." She let out a shaky breath. "Rory just called. They had two days old meat in the school cafeteria yesterday. Half her dorm has been up all night, throwing up."
"I'm so sorry. But we can try for real if you want. Plan it, just like you wanted."
"I don't want to talk about it now, Luke."
"That's okay." He held her as she silently cried against his chest. He wanted to say 'But how about the other symptoms?' He so badly wanted the test to be wrong. It hurt him to see Lorelai like this, as if she had lost something she never had. He knew his first impression about the other symptoms was probably right, tiredness. He felt how Lorelai calmed down against him and soon her breathing was even. He carefully laid her down on the bed, not wanting to wake her up. He checked his watch and withdrew five hours. It was still night in America so Lucan wouldn't wake up any time soon. He searched for a pen and a piece of paper and wrote Lorelai a note.
Lorelai,
I went to the pharmacy to get you some medicine. Lucan is still asleep and since he thinks it's the middle of the night he shouldn't wake up any time soon. I hope you slept well and I'll be back soon.
I Love you,
Luke
When Luke came back half an hour later the bed was empty. He walked into the bathroom and was relieved to find out she was in the shower instead of on the bathroom floor. He wanted to walk away to give her some privacy when he heard her call his name.
"Luke?"
"Yeah?" He noticed her voice was still a little shaky.
"Did you shower before you left this morning?"
"No, I'll go whenever you're ready."
"Care to join me?"
"Sure." He took of his clothes and stepped into the shower behind her.
"Hi." She turned around and kissed him.
"Feeling a little better?"
"Yeah, still a little nauseous but I don't feel like I have to throw up any time soon. I will take some of that medicine you got me later though."
"That's not what I was talking about."
"What are you talking about?"
"Lorelai." He looked her straight in the eyes.
"I'm used to the idea now. Like I said, it's better this way anyway."
"You don't believe that."
"But I have to. I'm not pregnant, so be it. It sucks, yes. I would have been happy if the test was positive, yes. I expected it to be positive, yes. But why think about that now right?"
"Because you're sad, even though you don't want to admit it."
"It doesn't matter Luke. Yes I'm sad and I probably will be for the rest of the day, but it won't change anything now would it?"
"No, I guess not, unfortunately."
"We'll get another chance right? When the time is right."
"When will that be?"
"I don't know. A few months? When things slow down at work. So Lucan will actually be able to walk by the time the baby will be born so we don't have to carry around two kids all the time?"
"Sounds perfect. Just tell me whenever you feel ready and I'm with you."
"Thanks." She kissed his lips as she turned around to get the shampoo bottle. She took out some and started washing his hair. Then she handed him the bottle so he could do the same for her.
"Can I ask you one more thing about this?"
"Sure." Now they had a plan when she was ready to talk about it freely.
"You said you dreamed about it?"
"I did. I was laying in a big white hospital room, all by myself with a little baby girl in her arms. I think it was Rory, only I was the same age I'm now. I was thinking how lonely I felt when suddenly you walked in. You kissed me and the baby and you turned your head towards the door and Rory walked in, carrying Lucan. He looked just like you on that picture taken on your first birthday. They walked towards the bed and sat down as well. You sat on one side, and Rory and Lucan on the other side and we were all happy."
"Sounds like a great dream."
"It was." She kissed him.
"It will become true one day, you know."
"I know." She kissed him again and pulled back suddenly. "I'm sorry…." She stepped out of the shower and kneeled next to the toilet. Luke turned off the shower and took a towel, putting it around his waist. Then he took another one and put it around Lorelai's shoulders, kneeling down behind her. He held her hair up with one hand and stroked her back with his other.
"Ugh." Lorelai let herself fall into Luke's arms when she was done. I didn't think I had anything left in my stomach."
"Let's get you some clothes on and take a look at that medicine I got you."
She gave him a slight smile. "Can't get up, wanna sleep here."
"Come on." He crawled away from behind her and lifted her in his arms. He took another towel and carried her to the bed. He dried her off and walked to her suitcase to get some panties and a pair of sweatpants and to his own to get a flannel shirt. He kneeled down next to her on the bed and helped her in the panties and the pants. Then he pulled her up in sitting position and pulled one arm through the shirt. Then the other one and buttoned up the shirt. He pulled the sheets away and laid her down, covering her.
After she was dressed he walked towards the desk to get the medicine. He read the instructions and gave her the right amount. He kissed her forehead and watched how she snuggled up against her pillow. Then he walked back to his suitcase to dress himself. When he was done and looked back at Lorelai she was already fast asleep. He picked up a book and sat down at the desk, not wanting to wake her or Lucan up. He hoped she would feel better in the afternoon, because he knew how much she was looking forward to meeting Warren. Plus, they would only stay in London for a few days and he could think of something more fun to do than laying in the bed being sick all day. Suddenly he was happy he didn't eat red meat.
A/N: That's it for now. Don't forget to let me know what you think! I wrote some stuff for the next chapter, but I'm not completely satisfied. I'm going home next Sunday, but because I have to go forward in time I won't be home until Monday. Don't know if I will post another chapter before that but let me surprise you ;)