Akira: Okay my computer has been having a hard time connecting to the Internet so I'm sorry this chapter has taken so long. (glances outside bedroom window and sweat drops) Uh hey, Mimi, May, Do you guys know why there's a gulf car in my backyard?

Mimi: No. Didn't your Grandma have one?

Akira: Yeah, but I don't remember putting it in he backyard.

May: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Let evil rein supreme!

Akira: I think that's May's way of saying evil spirits moved it.

Chapter 4

My Immortal

More time passed and still no one noticed the change in Tyson. They couldn't see how his eyes had become filled with a never ending void of hopelessness. After the first cut Tyson tried it more often, at first it was maybe once a week, then twice, and finally everyday. He couldn't help it, the cool metallic feeling of blood covering his arms and the rush of adrenaline, as his body tried to give him strength was addicting.

He knew what he was doing was considered wrong, but he couldn't stop himself. The emotional and mental pain was too strong for him, and if he didn't do something he'd go insane. Cutting took away some of the mental pain, and harmed his body, but with some of the mental pain gone he could think clearly for some time. Once he was finished he'd wrap his wounds, and pray that he wouldn't have to do it again the next day, but his prayers were never answered.

It was only a few days ago Hiro had come to visit everyone, and Tyson must have perfected his act by then, because Hiro noticed nothing different about him, or if he did he chose to ignore it. The two brothers got along fine, but there were times for no reason at all Tyson would want to yell at his brother for not seeing his pain, but then he would wish for Hiro to leave, that way there was no chance of the older boy figuring out his secret. Whether Tyson wanted his brother to know or not know, Tyson had no idea. All he knew was he wanted someone to notice his pain, but to let him continue with what he was doing.

Pouring milk into his glass Tyson thought over his options. He could tell someone, but if he did they would try to stop him, and as much as he hated to admit it, he didn't want to stop. These feelings were painful, but at least they were real. Also if he were to go back to being his happy self then he might not see the signs when someone was planning on hurting him. At least with the pain he felt now he was more aware of people's true attentions.

"There you are Tyson," Hiro said cheerfully as he walked into the kitchen, taking his little brother by surprise. "I've been looking all over for you." Tyson felt his heart rise with happiness, but it was soon crushed as thoughts of Hiro yelling at him filled his head. Maybe he had done something wrong and Hiro was mad at him now. As these thoughts filled his head Hiro continued. "It turns out that I'm going to have to be leaving soon, Dad needs some help at an archeological site he's at."

Icy daggers stabbed at Tyson's heart. He couldn't help but feel betrayed, but he wouldn't let Hiro know, so he put on a smile. "That's okay, Hiro. It was great having you here. So when will you be leaving?"

"In a day or two," Hiro answered, relieved that Tyson was taking this so well. "We can hang out until then."

Why can't you just leave now, that way I won't have to continue feeling this way until you do leave, Tyson thought to himself. Calmly he picked up his glass of milk and took a sip before talking. "You don't have to, besides I'm sure you would like to use this time to pack."

"You sure you don't mind?" Hiro's words cut through Tyson like a knife. He hadn't actually meant what he said, and yet it was clear Hiro wanted to do what he offered him.

Pasting a fake smile on his face Tyson began walking out of the room and shouted over his shoulder to his brother, "Of course. Would I have said it if I didn't mean it?" Yes. Why can't I just say what I want?

Because if you did they would hate you, another voice in Tyson's head answered, and sadly he agreed with it. Who would like a person as selfish as him? If his friends knew what he was thinking they would think his even more stupid then they originally thought, and would see how truly self centered he was. He had to keep his real self hidden, or else he would lose what little he did have.

Standing alone in the hall he stared down at his feet. Would his friends really hate them, but wait didn't he already say to himself he didn't have any friends? Didn't he also say he was going to distant himself from them all? Then why was he clinging to them so much? Why couldn't he just let go like he thought, why did he still hold them so dear? The thoughts, fears, and doubts were becoming too much for him again, and he could feel the beginning of another hysteria attack as his breathing became labored.

Rushing to the bathroom he closed the door silently behind him and locked it. The emotional pain was becoming real again. His body began to ache, and unshed tears shinned in his eyes as he opened up the sink cupboard and threw its contents out until he came across his hidden sliver blade. Rolling up one of his sleeves he picked up the blade and made a small cut. Hissing at the sensation he continued until he had six new cuts. Already he could feel his thoughts subsiding, and the pain ebbing away.

Taking a deep breath Tyson sat on the edge of the sink and let the blood flow down his arm. So entranced at the sight he let what little thought he had left run threw different things in his head. Happy memories flashed before his eyes, but he no long cared, he knew most of them were lies.

I wonder what Kai is doing right now? The sudden thought knocked Tyson out of his trance and made him sit up. That was a random thought, Tyson thought to himself, but even as he thought those words he couldn't help but smile a little. But I can't help it. As weird as it sounds I miss him. He was always honest with how he felt towards me, and I can't help but feel thankful for that. I hope he's okay.

His smile winded as more thoughts of Kai filled his head. He continued to smile even when he remembered all the things Kai had said to him, and all the times Kai betrayed him. For the first time in a while felt happiness bubble in him, but at the same time a sense of longing held his heart. I know I miss him, but I never knew I missed him this much. Maybe…… maybe Ray was right about me having feelings for Kai.

Ray, that name made Tyson wince as he remembered their fight. Even though Ray and Max both said they didn't have feelings for each other he couldn't help but feel as if they were lying to him. Of course he didn't want to give them any reason to be upset with him so he kept quiet, and watched them silently from afar, and hoped one day they would reveal their feelings to one another.

Footsteps echoed in the hall and from what Tyson could tell they were heading to his bedroom. Jumping off the sink he grabbed the first aid kit, but found it didn't have any more bandages. Cursing under his breath he took some toilet paper and wrapped it around his arm, and cleaned up the mess he made in the bathroom, but a part of him was tempted to leave the room messy and see if his friends would discover what he was doing.

Covering the new wounds and leaving the room he went to his bedroom where he saw Max pounding on his door. "Tyson, Tyson, come on! You got to see something!" Not seeing Tyson standing behind him Max continued to break down the door until he heard someone clearing their throat and turned around to find Tyson behind him. Blushing from embarrassment Max grabbed Tyson's arm and started to pull him in another direction. "Come on Tyson you are really going to like this!"

"What are you talking about Max?" Not answering Tyson's question Max continued with pulling Tyson to whatever it was the blonde wanted him to see.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

The two boys now stood in front of the front door. Without another word Max slid the door open to reveal Ray talking to none other than Kai. At the sight of Kai Tyson's heart skipped a beat, and his heart filled with dread.

Now that Kai was back the stoic team captain might find out Tyson's secret and hate him even more, and Tyson couldn't bare the thought of that. He knew Kai hated him, but to a tolerable point, but if Kai found out his secret there was no way in hell Kai would put up with him.

Smiling his fake smile he acted as if everything was normal. "Hey Kai! Where have you been?" He received no answer from his secret crush. Yes, crush. Once Tyson saw Kai again he knew there was no denying it. He had a crush on the older blader. Trying again he asked another question. "So did you miss me?" He said in a teasing voice, but truthfully he did want to know if Kai had missed him or not.

"No," Kai put bluntly. "Why would I miss someone like you? You're annoying, and get in the way. You think you're the best, and when someone beats you it's a crime. Why would anyone miss you?"

Tyson's heart shattered at the cruel words, but he pretended to be angry instead. "Well fine, if that's how you feel than I'll go to my room where I'm wanted." Stomping off, he ignored Ray and Max's pleas to stay and that Kai was just being his usual jerky self.

Once in his room Tyson shut the door and locked it. Leaning against the door his legs began to become weak and he slid to the floor and buried his face in his arms. Hysteria was growing in him but he no longer cared. He welcomed the pain in his heart openly.

Tears flowed down his face, and his lungs burned as he gasped for air in between sobs. Why did he have to get a crush on Kai? Why couldn't it have been somebody else? Why was it when he was losing his brother he was gaining Kai, who hated him? Why did all this happen to him?

Why does Kai hate me? Tyson thought. Didn't I save his life at one point? Shouldn't that count as something? Then again this is Kai we're talking about. He probably thinks that he has already repaid me by being on the same team as me. I don't want that though. I just want him to like me. It doesn't have to be a crush type of like, but a friendship type of like.

Holding himself tight, he tried to will his pain away. Somebody was probably going to check on him soon, and he didn't want them to know how Kai's words had affected him. But would they care if they found out?

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

The-Pain-Of-A-Lost-Soul: Updated and ready to be read, Captain. LOL.

TyKaGal: Thank you. I'll try to find a way to bring some happiness into Tyson's life, but since the story is based on the Evanescence CD "Fallen" I don't have much control of that.

Dark-She-Deivl: Kai's back! Everyone do a happy dance. Of course Kai was a jerk, but that's because it is needed for later chapters. Really this is the best?

NeckoFury: Ack! No please don't faint on me! I love Tyson too, but some people just love watching him suffer. (cries) Why! Why does this happen to me! Why must people always faint when I'm in the room!

Queen of Anime: thank you, that means a lot to me. I'm seriously thinking that some people though haven't read the genre, because a lot of people ask for me to cheer Tyson up, but this is angst and tragedy. I'm glad you enjoy this enough to read it, even if it is sad. Truth is I'm surprised I can write something so sad.

Luvyagal: I bet you're frustrated with Kai, but remember it's all for the plot. Yes Ray and Max are stubborn, but tragedy will bring them together, and in a strange freakish way it will do the same for Kai and Tyson.

Lilphoenixtears: Wow, thanks. I'm glad you feel bad for Tyson. I should this to my friend and she didn't give a rat's ass about Tyson, which really upset me.

Elemental-Zero: I'm lazy so I'm probably going to be calling you Mimi instead of Elemental-Zero in review replies. I'm glad I captured the emotion and put everyone in suspense, and soon Hiro is going to get more involved before he leaves. Oh and Kai will be forced to admit his feelings to himself soon. He's still in the denial stage, but that will be explained in later chapters.

XXxAngel VxXx: I love Tyson too, but our love isn't enough. He wants Kai's love. Damn it Kai! Why is it you have to be an ass! May: because you made him one. Akira: I did?

Noom-Moonlight Wolf: Chapter five is going to be Haunted, so if you know the song I think you know what the chapter is going to be about. I did update BTLG, but it was a while ago. Once I get two other stories updated I'll update it again. Hopefully I'll update those two stories soon, and not avoid them with other stories. (sweat drops)

Serena429: Well Tyson will have a twisted happy ending. In other words it will be sad, but then something will happen to make it better. I wish I could tell you what, but I can't or else I would ruin the story.

FireieGurl: Max and Rei are in denial. Well actually they admit to themselves about their crushes on each other, but they'll never say it out loud, because society is messed up, and people don't like gay people. I hate close minded people. Love has no gender, man. (peace sign)

Punkerprincess: Sorry Kai hasn't yet hugged him, but I'm sure I can make him at some point. Angst very good though. Who doesn't love reading a good angst story every now and then?

ChoOcoLAte lUVr: Thank you! I'm so happy that I get the emotion across in this fic becase that's what's most important. (hugs) Thanks!